[upbeat rock music]
- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff,ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff,ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪- ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪
- ♪ Ruff, ruff ♪- ♪ Meow, meow ♪
- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪- ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪
- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff ♪- ♪ Meow, meow, meow ♪
- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪- ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪
[music crescendos]
♪ ♪
- Yah! Yah!
- Why is Jilldestroying our doghouse
with the sledgehammer that camewith her Gallagher costume?
[gasps] They canceled"Outlander."
We have to do something.
- Let's find a new Jill.
This one's broken.
- No, I'll just go outthere, tilt my head,
show her my belly.
But if that doesn'tcalm her down--
- I'll kill her.- [grunts]
- Oh, Jill.[whimpering]
- Oh, there you are.
I have a surprise for you![scary music]
- Chief, you're up.
- Nice knowing you, lady.
[growling]
- Ta-dog!
- Oh, my God, it's the house
that every little puppydreams of.
- I had a big breakthroughin therapy
and accepted the fact thatI'm never going to have kids.
So enjoy your new house.
I'm totally fine.[laughs]
[sobbing]
- Chief, this place is ours.
- Ohh, yeah.
I can't wait to pee inside you.
- Double-height ceilings,separate rooms,
and the commute to work--
it took me 30 secondsto get here.
- Well, let's go see it.
I want the tour.
- Um, that'sdefinitely something
we should do some time,
just as soon as we're settled.
Chief is still turningaround in circles
trying to figure outwhere to sit.
- Not long now!
- I'm sorry, are we justgoing to ignore the most
noteworthy thingin this room--
the fact that Tabithadoesn't have fur.
- That's not Tabitha.
It's obviously somedeformed baby walrus.
- Gray One.- Oh, my God, it's Tabitha!
[chuckles]You look great.
- Last night,Brett and Stelios had
"RuPaul Drag Race"watching party.
I was ready for big reveal.
♪ ♪
[all gasp]
[screaming]
I was serving Joan of Arcrealness.
- It's like she's inside out.
- It's more like she'sa beautiful newborn pony
trapped in a sausage casing.
- Excuse me? This crowdis insulting my looks?
- You know,so much of your life
has been focused on appearance.
This is a great opportunityfor you to explore
what's on the inside.
- That is what issaid to ugly cats.
I do not stay whereI am not worshipped.
- I'll go after her.
I need the steps.
Tabitha! Tabitha! Tabitha![panting]
Do you want some companyon your way home?
I've got time.Kevin won't miss me.
Our love is beyond words,or affection.
- You are feeling sorry for me?[scoffs]
- Well, I mean,you're practically naked.
Here, take this.
- Oof, even withoutmy gorgeous fur,
I am still 100% that bitch.
Leave me alone.[huffs]
- Well, that's cool. Yeah,I think I'll head home, too.
It's this way.
Or is it that way?
- Oh, my God,it's a stray.
[gasps] Oh, come here
sweet guy!- [yelps]
I'm rescuing you.
- Let's see if hehas a microchip.
- Did you stealthat from the vet?
- They were throwing it out.
- [yowls][beeps]
- Don't you worry, big fella.
Before you know it, you'llbe back with your owner,
Lonnie Shankman.
- I'm sorry, who now?
[fancy music]
- I just lovethis open concept,
all the natural light.
Wait, there's an elevator?
[bell dinging]Going up. Going down.
Going up.Going down.
Going up.- Aw, it's my turn
to go up and down,up and down.
- ♪ Knock, knock ♪
- We have company![gasps]
Oh, my God, it'sthose fancy angora bunnies
from down the block.
- What? They've never eventalked to us before.
- Well, why would they?We lived in
that dilapidated doghouse.
We were scum.
- Oh, my God, how amI supposed to act?
- Act fancy.Speak in a British accent.
- You must be ournew neighbors,
Chip and Fluffy Bunny.
- Honey and Chief.We don't have last names.
[both laugh]- Oh, Chip, isn't she precious?
- Yeah, yeah, she's great.- Welcome to the neighborhood.
Now that you live here,you are part of
an elite clubof homeowners.
- Well, you got the Sparrows,[chirping]
the Catses,[purring]
- And King Poopy PantsMcWhiskers III.
He hasn't left the castlesince his anus prolapsed.
- Well, we must get toknow each other better.
Are you free for dinnerand drinks tonight?
- Absolutely!
- Sounds divine.
Chief, do you haveanything fancy to add?
- Heh. [with accent]I could do worse
than a schmooze and a nosh.
- OK.
See you tonight.
- What the hell was that?
- You told me to speakwith a Yiddish accent.
- British, Chief.A British accent.
- [with accent]Heh, you tell me this now?
[sad music]
- Even without my fur, I am--
- Cream of the cat crop.
- [gasps] That is whatI was going to say.
Are you the devil?- Devilish.
My name is Claude.I'm surprised
we've never met before.
I thought I knew all thefollicle-divergent cats
in the neighborhood.- Oh, well, you don't know me.
- Hold on there.Arrogant,
emotionally closed off,
skin that won't quit?
You are crazy if you thinkI'm gonna give up that easy.
- [laughs]And you are crazy to think
that you are in my league.
But what the hell, follow me,and I will continue
to reject you all the way home.
[upbeat music]
- Guys, I thinkthere's been a mistake.
My owner's name is Kevin.
Rhymes with heaven.
- This is it.
[rings doorbell]
- Can I help you?
Oh, my God! Prince!Is that you?
- No. No, it's not.
[yowls]
- It's just so gratifying.
- [munching]
- Chief, I asked youto put out the pig ears
and uncork the squirrel pee.
The Bunnies will be here soon.
- [groans]
[creaking]- What was that?
- [with accent] One ofthe floor boards is loose.
- Why do you sound likeJay Leno after a stroke?
- I'm perfectingmy British accent.
Blah!- Keep working on it.
In the meantime,can you fix the floorboard?
- Uh, no.I'll call a handyman.
Raccoon!We need your hands, man!
♪ ♪
- And there's the two of uson Santa's lap
the two of us in Cabo.
Oh, my Prince, I am sosorry for losing you.
- And you're losing me now.
Listen, Lonnie, was it?
I have an owner.- Do you still like scratches
on your special spot?
- ♪ Hush, little Princiedon't say a word ♪
- Oh, my God, I am the catformerly known as Prince.
♪ ♪
- So I said, "I don't careif you call me Bugs Bunny,
just as long asI get that carrot."
[laughter]
- So did she getthe carrot or--
- I don't know.Just laugh.
- [laughs]
[with accent]Dat's hilarious, mon.
[whispers] British.- Nope.
- Welp, thatfloorboard won't be
giving you any more problems.
Hey, aren't youthose snobby bunnies
who never say hello when I'mgoing through your trash?
- Aren't you thatraccoon who rents that shed
and eats garbagewith his hands?
- The one and only.
I didn't know we werehaving a block party.
- We're not. Raccoon, thiswater is for our guests.
[splashing]- Oh, that's OK.
- ♪ Da da da da da ♪- Well, that's our cue.
- No, stay.
Raccoon was just aboutto be kicked out.
- I was?Ohh, right.
I'm not a guest.
I'm the help.
[thud]
Raccoon out.
♪ ♪
- [snoring]
- Morning, my Prince.
- [purring]- Ready to have
the best day ever?
- You let me sleepon your face,
and you're sayingit gets better?
♪ So this is what it'slike to have a best friend ♪
♪ We're spending our daysenjoying each other ♪
both: ♪ Yeah, this iswhat it's like ♪
♪ To have a best friend ♪
- ♪ I'm your furless dad ♪
both: ♪ And you're myfurry brother ♪
[laughter]- Let's go home,
and I'll rub your bellywhile I fill it with tuna.
- Oh, Lonnie,I didn't know I was lost
until I was found by you.
- [muffled yelling]
- Oh! I almost forgot.
Prince, this is Paul.
He's a friend I made while youwere taking a bathroom break
in the sandbox.
- Um, Lonnie, what thehell's going on here?
I thought I was your friend.
[upbeat music]
- I mean, at first,Lonnie couldn't
have been more attentive.
And he stroked me likean ever-loving Bond villain.
But ever sincePaul came along,
Lonnie doesn't sharpen kniveswith me anymore.
He doesn't shop forplastic sheeting with me.
- Well, what's so greatabout Paul, besides his name?
- Beats me. He just sitsin the basement screaming,
"Help! Help!"24 hours a day.
- Why don't you justgo back to Kevin
so we can stoptalking about this?
- New Chico.Who Kevin?
- Well, as a homeowner,
I get the plastic sheetingpart.
But why would you wantyour knives to be dull?
- Like this conversationuntil I started speaking.
There is a cat whois obsessed with me.
- Is her name Tabitha?
- No, he is he/him,named Claude.
He wants to torture andkill a mouse with me.
So obviously,he knows a good time.
But he is hairless anddisgusting to look at.
And I have standards.
- Ugh, we know.
- Maybe it's time tolower those standards,
not that you're not theprettiest pickled pig fetus
at the science fair.
But you could usethis as an opportunity
to connect with another caton a more meaningful level.
- [chuckles] That's rich.
Why don't you loweryour standards?
- Uh, what's happening?
- Your precious therapist threwa dinner party last night,
which I wasn't allowed to crashbecause I'm not fancy enough.
- Honey, if this is true,I find it
completely unforgivable.
- Thank you.- That you would throw
a dinner partyand not invite us?
- What do you think,you're better than us?
- No, no, not better, per se.
- Gah, next you're goingto be selling a candle that
smells like your poop shoot.
- I'll take one.- Make that two.
But ever sinceyou got that house,
that's all you care about.
- That's not true.- Prove it.
- Um--um, I--
how about this?
I let you have the houseall to yourself tonight.
Chief and I will just slumit in the laundry room,
like the rest of youcommoners, um, creatures.
- You mean it?
You'll let me stay in yourprecious special mansion?
- Yeah, it's yours.
- OK, then, thankyou very much.
- So this butt candle--
do I have to lightit for the smell?
And can I get itas a bath bomb?
- Mmm, this foodhas very interesting texture.
How do you pronounce it again?
- Gordita.
Stop right there.I must paint you.
- Oh, well, I havecertainly looked better, but--
- Us hairless cats have to letgo of what others think of us.
- Yes, us hairless cats.
- Besides, I'm notpainting how you look.
I am painting who you are.
- [gulps]
- Tell me something true.- OK.
- No, not from your head,
from your spirit.- Well--
- Tell me your biggest fearfrom the deepest chasm
of your soul.
- All right, I've builtup a wall around me
that will keep mefrom ever truly
connecting with another cat!
[gasps]
- Well, I wouldn't worryabout that anymore.
- [gasps] It's beautiful.
- What do you see?
[gentle guitar music]- I see me.
♪ ♪
[singing in foreign language]
- Oh, hey, Scabitha,still seeing
that wrinkled bag of pink?
- Yes, I'm still seeing Claude,
who I don't even noticeis incredibly hideous,
because I am in love.
- I wonder, what'sgoing to happen when
your hair starts growing back?
- Claude doesn't carewhat I look like.
- [chuckles]Now, that's obvious.
But he might carethat you lied.
- Oh, crap.
[upbeat music]
- There's my one and only.
Want to rub my belly,big felly?
- You stay here, buddy.Daddy's just running out
to get some more hydrochloricacid and piano wire for Paul.
- Paul, Paul, Paul.
Where's my hydrochloric piano?
- Help! Help me!I've been abducted.
Can anybody hear me?
My name is Paul Pressman.
- OK, Paul, there's notenough Lonnie for both of us.
[yowls]
[struggling efforts]
Just let go, Paul.
Don't fight it!
- Oh! Oh, I'm free!
[suspenseful music]
[grunts]
- And stay out!
[club music playing]
[laughter][excited chatter]
- Whoa!- Yeah! It's more fun!
- Whoa!
Oh![glass shatters]
[knock at door]
Again![laughs]
[knocking at door]- What the hell?
- I need you to shave me.
[glass shatters][club music pounding]
- Chief, do you hear that?
Raccoon and his friendsare tearing up the place.
What willKing Poopy Pants think?
- Then just goshut the party down.
- After I promisedRaccoon the house?
I can't have himthinking I'm a D-bag.
Ooh, but I don't carewhat he thinks about Jill.
[barking]Jill!
- Now, this blade maybe a little worn down.
My last client was a porcupine.
[razor buzzing]
[police sirens chirping]- Raid!
[crashing][all clamoring]
- No, you have to finish.
- Sorry, cat,it's Animal Control,
and I've alreadygot two strikes.
- [whimpers]
- Ugh, here.
Now, run!
[intense music]
Ah! No!
Ah, ugh! Poodle set me up.
[police radio chatter]
[handcuffs click]- Wow.
- I didn't know Jillwould call the po-po.
- Just wow.
- I thought she was justgoing to get her umbrella
and open and closeit really fast.
- What's goingto happen to him?
- Don't worry.He won't be killed.
We're just going to relocatehim deep into the woods.
- Where he'll be killed.- He'll be fine.
He's a wild animal, who cutshair, brews his own kombucha,
and cries at YouTube videosof deaf babies
hearing their mom's voicefor the first time.
Oh, my God, he's gonnadie out there.
[rustling]
- Hey, get out of there,you filthy, freaky mole rat.
- Gray One.- Oh, hey, Tabitha,
you look great.
- What are you doing here?- A couple of foxes
told me about the wild party.
What are you doing?
- Looking for Raccoon's razor,or maybe
laser hair removal Groupon.
I have a date withClaude soon, and I have
to find a way to lose this.
- Oh, Tabs, if you nevershow him your true self,
you'll never get a chance to beloved for who you really are.
- That is beautiful.
- Oh, that's not me.
That's a line from theupcoming Broadway musical
"How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days."
- [sighs] I will do the rightthing and tell the truth,
that I am not hideous,disgusting,
hairless freak like he is.
- ♪ I only got10 days to lose this guy ♪
♪ Lose this guyin the next 10 days ♪
Oh, that's gonna be a hit.
[upbeat music]
- Lonnie!Finally, some quality time.
What should we do first?
I could nuzzleup in your boxers
while you go to the bathroom.
[wind gusting]- [gasps]
Paul?
Paul?Where'd Paul go?
[suspenseful music]
Oh, where the hell is Paul?
- Keep that man's nameout of your mouth!
- We have to get out of here.
[gasps]- You! Drop the chonky cat
and put your hands in the air.[cocks gun]
- No more new friends!
- Ahh!- [yowling]
- [sniffing]
- Honey, we've been lookingfor over two nap cycles.
This is more like hound work.
- Well, we don'tknow any hounds.
Besides, this is your fault.
If you knewhow to fix a floorboard,
I never would have beenembarrassed by Raccoon
and tried to distance myselffrom him,
humiliating himin front of those bunnies
I don't even likein the first place.
- Arr! [with accent]Don't turn this around on me,
you landlubber.
You'll just be madat your old self.
- Still not British.But you're right.
I'm sorry.I'm just--
- Let's find a safe harborand get us some rum.
Yo ho! Yo ho!A British life for me.
[gasps] What's that?
- Up yonder?That's Deers,
our friendly neighborhoodwatering hole,
where everybodyknows your name.
- Hey, I know my name![laughs]
[upbeat piano theme]
Hello, there.
[all seething]
- [whispers] Act natural.
- [with accent]Chief's the name.
Cheerios, Lucky Charms,Honey Bunches of Oats.
- [growls]
What do we have here, huh?
Little Lord Dogleroy.
- Now is when younail the accent?
♪ ♪
- Hey, beautiful,you ready to take a walk?
- Claude, there is-- there issomething I need to tell you.
- Well, go ahead, babe. Youknow you can tell me anything.
- Maybe it's better I show you.
Please remove kerchief.
[suspenseful music]
- [gasps] You're a hairy.
I don't know what to say.
- I'm sorry I lied.
- It's OK.I understand why you lied.
You had to.
You're disgusting.
- You're grossed out by me?
- I'm just not a hair guy.
- But I-- I was grossedout by you first.
- I can't believewe almost barbed.
- And I can't believeI was almost attracted
to what was on the inside.
♪ ♪
- [sighs] First Lonnie, thenKevin, then Lonnie again.
Maybe I'm justdestined to be alone.
- There you are, Chico.
- Kevin!
- I saw you on the news.
Come here, my big, brave buddy.
- [meows]
- You have no ideahow much I missed you.
Dude, my cat just, like,totally prevented a murder.
There's usuallya reward for that, right?
- I have an extra ticket tothe upcoming Broadway musical
"How to Lose a Guyin 10 Days."
♪ I only got 10 daysto lose this guy ♪
♪ Lose this guy inthe next 10 days ♪
Oh, it's going to be a hit.
♪ ♪
- Hey, you fancyBritish house dogs,
why don't you take your doggydaycare selves back home
and drink out of your ownpersonalized dog bowls?
- [with accent] I wouldlike to nip off about now.
- Drop the accent.
- [with accent] What accent?Oh, no.
I can't get rid of it.
I've gone full Madonna.
- Um, I'm not withthis fancy dog.
I'm just a humblewoods critter looking
to wet my whistle aftera long day of crittering.
Crap.
- How about a littleless conversation
and a little more mutilation?
[snarling]
- Back off, Bob.
- Whatever you say, Thumbs.
- Oh, Raccoon.
- It's no fun being treatedlike an outsider, is it?
- Wait!
Raccoon, wait.
I can't believe you saved me,especially after last night.
- And tomorrow,you're going to go
right back to your easy,domesticated life
and right back to seeingme as some dirty animal
who lives in a shed.
- But you do live in a shed.
And the rest of the time,you're in garbage cans, so--
- Well, not everythingin garbage cans
likes to be treatedlike garbage.
I've been underestimatedmy whole life.
But it hurts themost when you do it.
- Wait, isn't thatfrom your one-raccoon show
after your dad saysyou'll never be an architect?
- Technically, yes,but it still applies.
- You're right.
I got so caught up inkeeping up with the Bunnies
I forgot who my friends are.
- I'm your friend.- Of course you are.
And I hope you can forgiveme because the floorboard
is doing that thing again.
I'm kidding. I mean, I'm notkidding about the floorboard.
It still squeaks.
But I'd hope that you'dfix it as a friend
and not as a handyman.
You know, friends do favorsfor each other, too.
I'm glad you're not dead.
- If that was an apology,I forgive you.
You know, friendsalso give friends
free poodle rides for a month.
- Free poo--Fine. Get on.
- To Deers!- [sighs]
[upbeat music]
- I want to apologize for notwelcoming you all
into my home sooner.
Tabitha, it's good tonot see your face again
[chuckles]because of the hair.
- No, I got it.
- So how arethings with Claude?
- You mean Fraud?
Hmph. I dump him waybefore he dump me.
Yes, this wholetime I worry that I am
not enough on the inside.
But then my hair grew back.
And I realizemy outside is enough.
- Aww! Well, I wasn'tenough for Lonnie.
And now he's being held inthe federal detention center
on eight counts of murder.
- [with accent]Darling, wee fun Raccoon
is putting a gas fireplacein the primary bedroom.
- He's not certified for that.
[explosion booms]
[car alarms wailing]
- Oh, no!
[gasps] The explosion knockedthe British out of me.
- And all our hair off, again.
- Sorry about your house.
- Eh, it's probablyfor the best.
- So do you guyshave insurance?
Or do none of usknow what that is?
- Bento.[cheering]
- That's nice, Jen and Gabby.