♪ Kiff! ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff! ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff! ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff! ♪
♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪
♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪
♪ Kiff! ♪
Brought to you by
The Cheese Caves!
Fetagettaboutit!
OK, only 32 washes
and we'll have enough nuts to take
our field trip to the cheese caves.
How's our sales team looking?
Up top!
Nuh-uh.
Yikeseeola.
Two people with zero chemistry
and even less in common.
Come on, Candle, Trevor,
we need some energy coming from the sales table, man!
Look alive!
Against all odds,
we're going to The Cheese Caves!
Speaking of against all odds...
Let's, like, hang this weekend!
- Huh? - Whoa!
Candle and Trevor as friends?
Buckle up, my sweet social climber!
Candle's gonna chew you up and spit you out.
Oh, Trevor. Poor guy didn't last a weekend.
Welcome, children!
Let's start by getting our pickaxes
and cracker holsters and pairing up.
OK, let's partner up.
Angstrom, Buns.
Chatterley, Fox.
You're with Trevor!
You can help him through the rejection.
Everything OK, Candle?
I am, yes. I am totally normal.
You can tell me if something's up.
No, I can't!
As your pickin' partner,
I should know if you're sick, or--
I'm not sick. I...
I messed things up with Trevor.
You messed things up with Trevor?
What'd you do?
I can't say. It's too embarrassing.
I just wish we could be friends again.
Can you help me?
You want my help?
I've been waiting my whole life
for you to ask me to help, Candle.
Let alone on a plum issue like this.
You... messed things up with Trevor?
Without knowing what happened between you and Trev,
all I can really--
Please, as you scrape from these sacred walls,
remember these caves are delicate.
All I can suggest is that you and Trevor
need a do-over hang.
Like a reset.
A girl could only dream.
Let me see what I can do.
Hey, hey, Barry!
Switch with Candle
and then you and I can be partners.
Great idea! Let me check with Trev.
That's gonna be a no.
Welcome to The Cost of Cheese is Correct!
Who will play?
Do it! You always know the price of stuff!
Trev will think you're so fun.
That's actually a really good idea.
We have a volunteer!
Hi, I'm Candle.
Candle, we're starting with a tough one.
How much do you think
a pound of Extra Old, Bitto cheese costs, hmm?
Oh. (chuckles) Easy.
A hundred and fifty nuts per pound. My dad imports it.
You're great at this! Wasn't that fun, Candle?
Fun! Candle!
Fun Candle!
And I love having fun.
When I'm having fun
and I get excited about having fun,
sometimes I want to make sure that we keep having fun,
so, I--
You're fun, Gnome,
you know what I mean?
You Gnome what I mean, Gnome?
No.
Let's hear it for fun Candle!
Don't let the feta dry, kids!
Brine! Brine! Brine!
Just tell me what happened.
Not telling me isn't working.
Never! You'll think I'm weird, too.
I won't!
You will!
Help me, help you!
Let me inside your shame, Candle!
Stop!
Oh, gosh, they said these caves are delicate.
Candle, stop!
I can't! It'll get around!
Why can't this just get fixed
without me having to rehash
the weird thing that I did?
Fetalanche!
There's no way out.
I can't go down
with this terrible secret inside of me.
Oh, now she wants to tell me.
So, after the car wash,
Trevor and I had such a fun weekend.
Like, back-to-back Saturday Sunday hangs.
And then Sunday night, I couldn't sleep
because I was so excited about our new friendship,
So... I, um...
I sent Trevor a...
a chunky text!
"Chunky text"?
What's that?
♪ Chunky, so chunky ♪
♪ Sent a text so chunky ♪
♪ There's no turning back ♪
- ♪ When you send a text like that ♪ - ♪ Like what? ♪
♪ Chunky, so chunky ♪
♪ Have you ever sent a text so chunky? ♪
♪ It's the end You can't unsend ♪
♪ Let me tell ya 'bout this text I sent ♪
♪ I shot it off without a thought And just went straight to bed ♪
♪ I check my phone and I can see That the text was read ♪
♪ It was seen But it couldn't be unseen ♪
♪ Whaddya mean? ♪
- ♪ The text was long ♪ - ♪ How long? ♪
♪ Real long Like a text from mom, but longer ♪
♪ With a beginning But no end ♪
♪ You be scrollin' scrollin' Scrollin' scrollin' scrollin' ♪
♪ I didn't think about a thing ♪
♪ I was typin' I might've been too excited ♪
♪ It's like my fingers Were running a marathon ♪
♪ And my mind was left behind ♪
♪ And by the time I hit send ♪
♪ It was the end of our friendship ♪
♪ That ship had sailed ♪
♪ On an ocean of poor grammar And unlimited shame ♪
♪ I got no one to blame ♪
♪ She got no one to blame ♪
♪ I got no one to blame ♪
♪ She got no one to blame ♪
♪ But myself ♪
♪ Chunky, so chunky ♪
♪ Sent a text so chunky ♪
♪ There's no turning back ♪
- ♪ When you send a text like that ♪ - ♪ Like what? ♪
♪ Chunky, so chunky ♪
♪ Have you ever sent a text so chunky? ♪
♪ It's the end You can't unsend ♪
I can fix this.
I can fix this!
But we're trapped!
I'm a squirrel, Candle.
I've got a two-ton cheek capacity.
- Where's Trevor? - Getting his Carichacheese done.
Come on, man. It was just a chunky text.
Just?
Please don't talk.
Hey, Trevor, I just wanted to send you a text
because I really feel like that was the most fun
I have ever had.
But there is sometimes I have more fun,
but actually with you it's probably in the top 70%
of the most fun that I've had.
Actually, I feel like it would be the most fun
dear if you could come over every... There are three Tuesdays
and there's probably other months...
And if I can't come over one Tuesday,
it doesn't change the fact that you are invited
Although we could change it to Monday.
This is not weird, is it?
Because I feel like you understand,
because you... Love the cartwheels
Anyway, this is not weird. Not weird.
♪ This is not weird ♪
Finally!
Wait, what are all these before the chunker?
Uh, don't read those.
From Candle,
"Whoa, have you seen Kiff's outfit?
It's the shorts for me."
From Trevor,
"I can hear them from here."
Then there's a voice note?
Uh, that's nothing, don't worry about that.
Do you like impressions?
Here's my impression of Kiff's shorts.
Response from Candle,
"What are they made of, speakers?"
This is how you bonded?
Candle probably doesn't get why I wore the shorts.
I mean, they're super popular right now.
Several pro athletes wear them.
Let me text her the full history of shorts as a start.
Kiff!
She's writing her own chunky text.
Are you seeing this? They're just happening all over?
I sent several last week.
I thought this was a weird Candle thing.
Oh, no! I have to find her!
The side of your face isn't done!
Just use Kiff's! - OK, you know what,
let's just go into the history of clothes in general.
Candle! What happened?
I'm covering myself in cheesecloth
so I can hide in my misery,
forever!
Candle! No, no!
I forgive you for the chunky text.
Chunky texts happen to everybody.
They're nothing to be ashamed of.
They're not?
No.
I'm so sorry for judging you.
We prefer chunky texts.
Something about your left eye looks off to me.
All right, I have clothes history,
Candle's and I's history together,
the Great Rubber Boom of the Southern Continent,
and what I'm eating for dinner tonight.
After a few more paragraphs of exposition,
I think I can start telling her
about how wrong she was about the shorts.
Hoo, boy, gonna be a chunky one.
Brought to you by...