(theme song plays)
CHORUS: ♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪
♪ Kiff-Kiff-Kiff! ♪
♪ Kiff-Kiff-Kiff-Kiff! ♪
♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪
♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪
♪ Kiff! ♪
(giggling)
ANNOUNCER: Brought to you by Pam's Protection.
Threat averted.
Good morning, class, before we begin today,
we have a special announcement
from your classmate, Candle Fox.
(applause)
If you'll look under your seats,
you'll find an invitation to my party tomorrow.
CANDLE: As you can see by these expensive invitations...
- (horns honk) - ...the party will feature
the famed 400-foot Waterslide of Eternal Joy.
- RECORDED VOICE: Wow! - It's probably gonna be
the best party ever, but that is not for me to say.
- Thank you. - (applause)
This is what I'm talking about, Barry!
Do you know how lucky we are?
- How lucky you are. - Huh?
I can’t go to this party. I can’t swim.
But, the 400-foot Waterslide of Eternal Joy...
Ends in water.
This will be me if I go.
BARRY: "Woo! Splash."
(funeral music plays)
Anyway, you can tell me all about it afterwards!
- Boom. - Uh, what are you doing?
- I’m putting my foot down! - (gasps)
There is no way you’re gonna miss this party, Barry!
This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
But how?
Hmmm...
Helen? A word?
Ew, students.
I know we’ve had our differences,
but this is important.
I need you to do a little spell on my friend here
to make him a good swimmer?
No. Go away.
Oh, well, we tried.
I guess you'll have to go to Candle's Pool Party without me.
- (blows raspberry} - BOTH: Ow!
Candle Fox? Daughter of Roy Fox?
World-famous producer of TV's Table Town Has Talent?
Yes?
Yes, I'll help your friend...
if you get me an introduction with Roy Fox.
Oh! Sure!
Wait, he does know you, right?
Oh , yeah, totally. Roy is always saying I'm--
Okay, okay, fine. Let's go.
I didn't ask for your life story.
- (indistinct chatter) - (party music plays)
(gasps) There it is.
KIFF: It's even more majestic
than the invitation led me to believe. Oh.
(orchestral choir music plays)
I... am reborn.
This is gonna be transcendent.
Look at the line!
(screaming)
Okay, Helen, give Barry the spell.
Barry, you hold my place in line
while I hold up my end of the deal,
introducing Helen to my dear old friend, Roy Fox.
He's over there.
(indistinct chatter)
Roy Fox...
Okay, let's do this.
HELEN: Bark of tree, crumbs of knish,
make this rabbit, swim like a fish.
I can swim? Whoa.
So we're really doing this?
Let's go!
KID: Whoa!
I'm so happy!
- Soon, Slidey... - (orchestral music plays)
- (indistinct chatter) - (jazz music plays)
(sighs)
Hey, is everything okay?
Yeah, I'm just sad, I guess.
I haven't thrown a single kid out of this place
and am I ever itchin' to!
(ominous music plays)
That's great, that's great. (chuckles)
Ah, see?! I told you there'd be a VIP area.
Right this way, babe.
Hey, fellas, good to see ya! Didn't see ya there.
We'll do pictures with my client later if you want,
but right now, where's Roy? That old so and so...
Oh, I see him! Love ya, babes!
...just had it renovated, so let me know how that acoustics are.
(laughs) I love it. Pew-pew!
I'm sorry, do I know you?
Roy, it's me! We met at that limo...
race?
(suspenseful music plays)
(laughs)
How are you?!
Phew!
Look at me. G-gonna slide, gonna swim. Okay, here we go.
You wanna go ahead of me? I'm, uh, I'm waiting for Kiff.
Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead!
Thank you. Wow.
...are you? And I held up my hand and said,
"Hey. You see this hand?
This is the hand that writes the checks, capisce?!
(laughs)
Oh, I am stealing that!
- (grunts) - Oh, no, I'm gonna miss my turn!
And-- Roy, I'm gonna network a little right now,
and I wouldn't be doing that
if I didn't suspect you're gonna like what I have to tell ya.
I'm listening...
I happen to be here today with a monster talent
who, at this point in time, remains undiscovered.
A diamond in the rough.
I give you... Helen!
Hello!
Okay... Hm. Show me what you got.
Oh, um...
(dance music playing)
(vocalizes)
(grunts) Ta-da!
I... love it!
You do?!
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
Get ready, baby! I'm gonna make you a star!
In fact, (gasps) we're gonna film right now!
(cheering)
Set up the camera! Get the boom mic in!
I need some apple boxes here! Where's my latte?
Kiff, I'm so happy I could almost thank you!
I'll never teach again!
Wait, I'm not ready!
I've got to go powder my nose! (squeals)
Welp, my work here is done, Helen's gonna be a star!
Oh, she certainly is... a star on my new show--
(banjo music plays)
NARRATOR: Embarrassing!
Cringe!
OMG!
Table Town's Cringiest Wannabes!
Duh!
(all laugh)
Wait, what? Oh, that’s so mean!
And it's all thanks to you!
(gasps)
(gasps) Helen, wait! Don't do it!
- What? - He's gonna make a fool of you!
He thinks you're cringe!
- Oh, I get it. - Phew!
You're jealous!
What?! No! Helen, please--
If you have something to say, talk to my agent.
I am your agent!
Not anymore. You're fired.
(all straining)
(all laugh)
Hey, where'd she go?
Okay, whenever you're ready...
Say! What kind of camera is that?
Oh, is that the new HD-365... 7?
Let me get a closer look. Oh, no!
I'm accidentally tripping on... obstacles.
- (gasps) - Hey! That was on purpose!
Oh, boy! You're out of here!
(pants, grunts)
I am revoking the swim spell!
No! No, wait! Please!
Your turn, kid!
Oh, that's not good... (screams)
Next!
(screaming)
(slow-motion scream)
Hang on, Barry!
(grunts)
Gotcha!
That's why my birthday is a little more special-- Ahh!
(screaming)
(chuckles)
I'm just gonna hit the slide real quick...
(both yell)
No, no. No! Please, please just give me one slide!
One little slide! That's all I ask of you!
You are banned from this slide!
(gasps) A lifetime ban?
No, jeez, that's a bit harsh.
You're banned for one year!
Oh.
- (banjo music plays) - NARRATOR: It's Table Town's...
Cringiest Wannabees!
(crowd murmuring)
Oh.
(sighs) I can't believe I didn't get to experience
400 feet of Eternal Joy.
Didn't you?
Hang on, Barry! Gotcha!
MAN: Eternal Joy. Joy... joy... joy...
We did.
NARRATOR: Cringe!
Yeesh! And we did the right thing for Helen.
There's a sadness in those eyes.
(gate squeaks open)
Speaking of which...
Um, I saw the trailer for Roy's new show and...
(sighs) I just wanted to say-- say...
(stammers) tha...
"Thanks"?
You're welcome! (grunts)
It's me, Helen.
Hello, Mom? Guess what? I'm on TV! In your face!
And just think, Barry, now we have a whole year for you
to learn how to swim, the right way!
Yeah!
HELEN: Listen, I was thinking we could walk through
the theater district on the way home
to see if anyone recognizes me from that clip.
They probably want my autograph.