All: Aye, aye, Captain!
- I can't hear you.
All: Aye, aye, Captain!
- ♪ Ohh... ♪
♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪
All: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪
all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?
All: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- SpongeBob
SquarePants!
[laughing]
♪ ♪
[waves crashing]
[upbeat bluegrass music]
♪ ♪
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Doy!
Bwah.
I hereby franchise this planet
in the name of the Krusty Krab.
[laughs] [loud rumbling]
Oh! [whimpering]
Ah.
Didn't you hear that?
Wake up!
[loud rumbling]
[whimpers] Gary,
I think there's someone in the house.
- [yawns]
- Aah!
[loud crash]
It's coming from downstairs.
I'm scared, but we got to go down there.
- [meows]
- Yes.
- [meows] - Yes.
- [meows] - Yes!
- [laughing evilly]
- [shuddering]
Okay, Gare Bear, when I flip on the lights,
you bark at the burglars.
- [meows]
- I mean roar, roar at the burglars,
like the fierce jungle snail you are.
- [meows]
[growling]
[roaring]
[meows] - Huh?
Narlene?
- Oh! Well, if it ain't my old pal Gary.
- [meows]
- Oh!
- Narlene Narwhal?
I haven't seen you since we were kids.
Both: Memory hug.
[SpongeBob whimpering, Narlene laughing]
- Oh, look at you, SpongeBob.
All grown-up-ified and proper.
- [giggles]
You came to visit moi?
- Well, you always said,
"If you're ever in Bikini Bottom, Narlene,
you can stay with me as long as you like."
[laughs]
- Yeah, that sounds like something I'd say.
Too bad your little brother Nobby isn't here, too.
- Oh, he's here. Hey, Nobby!
Shake a horn and get on in here!
- [speaking gibberish]
Howdy, SpongeBob.
[speaking gibberish]
- [coughs] Wow, Nobby. You sure got big.
- I need some vittles.
- My fridge is your fridge, Nobert.
[upbeat bluegrass music]
♪ ♪
- Ah, we had a lot of good times
riding through the woods in your wagon.
[sniffs] Ah, I can almost
smell the sea mule. [sniffs]
Huh? - Hee-haw!
- He remembers you, too.
[laughter]
- [braying]
[both groaning]
- [yawns]
Oh! Aah!
Sorry, Narlene! I didn't know you were in here!
- Morning, SpongeBob.
I just love your fancy whirlpool bathtub.
[toilet flushes] Whoo!
[laughing]
Would you be a darling and hand me a scrub brush?
- Oh! - Thank you.
[laughs]
- Hurry it up.
Other people need to use the whirlpool bathtub.
- [grunting]
- Ahhh...
- [meows]
[upbeat bluegrass music]
- Yeah.
♪ ♪
[turkey gobbling]
- Ah, Thanksgiving.
- [grunting goofily]
- Huh?
- [grunting goofily]
- Aah!
- [grunting]
Ta-da! - Oh.
- Hoo-hoo! Let's go.
I hope you don't mind that we made
your house all hill-ified.
- Hill-ified?
Why, I'm...
thrill-ified.
Yee-hoo!
[knock on door]
- Howdy. Is Narlene here?
- It's Cousin WillyBob!
- Ha ha!
- WillyBob, meet SpongeBob.
Hey, SpongeBob, meet WillyBob.
Hoo-hoo-hoo!
- Well, any cousin of Narlene's
is a cousin of mine, WillyBob.
- Well, much obliged, CousinBob.
Come on, Nobby, let's wrassle!
- Yeah!
- Hey, cousins, save some for me.
[growls]
[knocking on door] Huh?
- Is Narlene here?
- Welcome, welcome.
Any cousin of Narlene's is a...
[knocking on door] Huh.
[all shouting]
- [meows]
[bluegrass music playing]
♪ ♪
- [growls angrily]
♪ ♪
- Hey, Cousin SquidBob,
let's square-dance.
[Squidward yelling]
[dramatic music]
- Breaking news!
Bikini Bottom is under siege from narwhals.
Toothless hoards of backwoods hill folk
are plaguing citizens with jug-band music,
hog calling, and bad grammar.
Citizens are advised to stay indoors
and to avoid stomping your feet to the country-fied beat.
Aah!
They's here! Save yourselves!
Aah! [static whirs]
- Yikes.
I think maybe it's time
to ask your kin to leave, Narlene.
- They're not my kin.
I thought they was your kin.
WillyBob is our only relation.
- [speaking gibberish]
- Nobby's right.
The rest of them ain't even narwhals.
- [speaking gibberish]
- They're Nearwhals.
Phony little varmint.
Kin or no kin,
we got to hog-tie this hoedown.
- Well, the good news is...
I think I know someone who can help us.
- [cheers]
[speaking gibberish]
- What's the bad news?
- Sure.
I can get rid of those Nearwhal nimrods for you.
[laughs evilly]
Their stupid family has been feuding
with my stupid family for years.
- Oh, I seen it.
Them Planktons sure know how to hold a grudge.
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
- Ah. [grunts]
[light banjo music]
[phone ringing]
- Aah!
How do?
- Nearwhals!
All: Nearwhals?
Nearwhals? Nearwhals?
Feud!
- Voilà! Huh?
[all shouting]
[upbeat bluegrass music]
- Get them Nearwhals!
♪ ♪
- [speaking gibberish]
Huh?
- Consarn Nearwhals!
[rapid chomping]
Give 'em the itch, Planktons.
- It's a plankton sneak attack.
Nearwhals, retreat!
[horn blaring]
- What's that, now?
[horns blaring]
♪ ♪
- Yeah! [laughter]
- Whoo-hoo!
- Thank you.
- Yeah!
- I think someone deserves a little kiss.
- Ooh! [smooching]
Ew.
- Thankee, Cousin Plankee.
[giggles] - [grunting]
- Yuck.
♪ ♪
- [speaking gibberish]
Y'all take care now. [speaking gibberish]
- [laughs] I already miss you guys.
Will you come back and visit us real soon?
- Sooner than you think.
Hyah! - [speaking gibberish]
♪ ♪
- [crying, sniffles]
- Hey, Squidward!
- What the...
- Hey, Squidward!
Remember back in camp you used to always say,
"If you're ever in town, Narlene,
you can stay with me anytime!"
- I never said that! - [donkey brays]
[energetic music]
♪ ♪
- [laughing evilly]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
Very sloppy, Eugene.
Leaving an unprotected vent that leads
right into your office.
[laughing evilly]
Perfect.
The secret formula is as good as mine.
Ah!
I made it.
Yes!
- [humming happily]
♪ F is for friends who do stuff together ♪
♪ U is for you and me ♪
[gargling]
♪ N is for anywhere and anytime at all ♪
- Huh?
[screams]
[groaning in pain]
- ♪ Down here in the deep blue sea ♪
- [panting frantically]
Aah!
♪ ♪
- Bubble Bass! Are you brushing your teeth?
- Yes, Mother.
Ugh!
[exhales deeply]
- Oof!
Oh, no.
[muffled shouting]
Aah!
[grunts]
Hmm? Eh, yuck.
This place is filthier than the bathroom
in my old fraternity house.
Time to get out of here.
[loud grunting]
[shuddering]
Terrified,
mind blank, possibly wetting pants.
Wait. I don't wear pants.
Ooh, lucky me.
- [growling]
[slime bubbling]
- Aah!
- That's right. You better run.
Huh?
[ominous music]
Terror doubled.
Please! I'll do whatever you say!
Just don't hurt me! [sobs]
- We would never hurt the Master.
[all speaking gibberish]
- Wait, what, now?
- We are praising you,
the Master Creator.
- Me?
- Yes.
We are C.H.U.M.
Collective Hive Under Master.
You are Master.
You create us when you flush chum
into sewer
from your upside domain.
- You mean the Chum Bucket?
- Yes.
Chum mixes with gasses in sewer...
- [belches loudly]
- To form we.
- Goo-goo.
- Hmm, makes sense,
huh...
in a stupid sort of way.
Eh!
Whoa, what's happening?
- Master must come to village
so we may worship him.
- Well, I do love to be worshiped.
Hold on. How did you recognize me?
- From sacred scrapbook.
- Ah!
- We save all articles about Master
that float down here.
Here review of Chum Bucket.
You get one negative toilet.
That must be highest rating possible.
- [chuckles] Yep.
That's the highest, all right.
[chuckles] Let's just close that.
[quirky music]
♪ ♪
[grunts]
♪ ♪
Ah! [grunts]
[groaning]
- The Master is pleased with our village?
- Uh, sure. Why not?
- Oh, thank you, Master.
Thank you.
- That's enough of that.
Do you have a napkin or something
I can use to wipe my hands off?
- A napkin for Master!
- Yuck.
Thanks, but try to be
a little faster next time.
So you C.H.U.M. would really do anything
for me?
- Yes, yes.
Whatever the Master wishes.
- Wah!
Hmm, this gives me an idea.
I don't need to steal
the secret Krabby Patty formula by stealth.
With you C.H.U.M. by my side,
I can take it by force!
- Yes, yes.
Whatever the Master wishes.
- Ew. All right, then.
Line up for assault training.
[laughing evilly]
[bugle playing]
In order to successfully infiltrate the Krusty Krab,
you'll need to batter some doors down.
Now get to battering!
♪ ♪
You call that battering?
Batter harder.
Ah!
Wait, no, stop!
- How was that, Master?
- [groans]
In order for my plan to succeed,
you will need to be expert marksmen.
Line up and form up.
♪ ♪
[both chattering wildly]
♪ ♪
Hold on, hold on.
Let me just put up these targets before you fire.
- Master say fire!
- [screams] - [shouts]
- Uh-oh.
♪ ♪
- How was our aim, Master?
- Eh, impeccable.
When we finally enter the Krusty Krab,
you will face an enemy more evil
than any of you can imagine.
[all gasp, screaming]
To get past Krabs and his vile cronies
and make it to the secret formula,
you will need to be experts in the deadly art of karate.
Hoo! Ha! Wah!
[grunting violently]
Now show Master what you got.
A-plus. [sighs]
You're ready. [sighs]
Ay!
- [humming happily]
- Hello, Eugene. - Plankton?
Ah, get out of here before I flush you.
- The only thing getting flushed around here
are your hopes of the Krabby Patty formula
not being stolen by me!
- Huh, you and what army?
- Me and my C.H.U.M. army.
- [gasps]
- [laughing evilly]
- Plankton, what insanity is this?
- The insanity of genius!
- What's that chum doing?
- Anything I want it to.
[laughing evilly]
[suspenseful music]
♪ ♪
Oh, Krabs.
You look a little hungry.
Give him a taste, boys.
Ha, ha, ha!
- [grunting]
[shouting]
- [humming] - SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
- [vocalizing]
♪ ♪
- You'll never get me formula.
- Today your formula.
Tomorrow the world.
You can't hide forever, Krabs.
Come meet your stinky fate.
[laughing evilly]
Sorry, Krabs.
Your aging acrobatics are no match
for my C.H.U.M. monster.
- [giggles]
So long, suckers.
- Ah!
- Oh, shrimp!
- Attack!
My putrescent platoon!
- Eat splinters, ugly!
Oh!
- Whoa!
♪ ♪
[upbeat music playing on headphones]
- Oh!
- This is your last chance, Eugene.
Give up the formula or else!
- Or else what?
Gah! - Whoa!
Or else this!
- All right, all right, I'll give you what you want.
Just please don't hurt me.
SpongeBob, help!
[monster growling] - SpongeBob!
- Stop him!
- Ooh, a penny!
- Not again.
Ah!
- Oh!
I'm so sorry, Mr. Krabs.
- My little hero!
Mwah!
- Ooh. [giggles]
- Well, thanks for trying, anyway.
So, uh,
you guys want to hang out, you know,
maybe worship me a little more.
- No, we think C.H.U.M. happier in the sewer.
Too crazy up here.
- But you'll keep worshipping me, right?
- We check our schedule.
Get back to you.
[toilet flushes] - Aw.