The new firewallhas Hypervisor-Protected
Code Integrityand the OS 11.6 update has
virtualization-based security
and automatic two-factoridentification.
Okay, well, sounds likeyou have it under control.
So a few of uswere looking up
Payne's political contributions recently.
[laughing]Everyone is doing this dance.
Some of the politicianswe donate to
are super conservativeon women's issues.
Yeah, politics are so weird.
How do you turn this thing?
A lot of us thinkthat we shouldn't be supporting
- people like that.- Oh, there you go.
Just have to hitthat lock turn thing.
- [laughs]- We believe abortion rights
are directly tiedto women's equal participation
in society,and we think it's important
for you to start upholdingthose values.
- [computer chimes]- Oh! Is it done?
Great. Thank you so much.
Um...
I'm so sorry.
Am I supposed to tip you?
Lemme grab you something.
* Bom bombom-bom-bom-bom-bom ♪
♪ Buh buh bom-bom-bombuh bom-bom-bom-bom ♪
[chorus vocalizing]
I'm just sayin',all the buzz about this
has got me freaked out.
Sack up.Access to safe, legal abortion
is a human right.It's as simple as that.
- Right, Sade?- Yes.
I honestly can't tell if you'rescrewing with me right now.
I'm not.Why is that so hard to believe?
Maybe because of who you are.
All the thingsyou've ever said and done.
- Okay.- Look, Wesley's brush
with humanity aside,we're being asked
to take a position ona very controversial situation.
- Yeah.- Who's asking for what now?
- You didn't see the email?- Mm.
Went out company-widethis morning.
- Mm-hmm.- It's an open letter
from some of our employeeswith requests
regardingour abortion policies.
"Requests" is not the word.
They are demandingthat we develop protocols
to provide abortion accessin pro-life states,
stop donatingto pro-life politicians,
and that you personally disavowthose donations and apologize.
"We require review,expect solutions,
insist on an apology"?
This reads like a ransom note.
I get wherethey're coming from,
but the tone is a little harsh.
It's generational, you know?They're all entitled.
They act like they're in charge
and they all know exactlywhat's right.
And they're all bisexual,but they barely have sex.
It's like goingto an all-you-can-eat buffet,
but you're on a diet.
Do we donateto pro-life politicians?
'Cause if we do,it's kind of weird.
I don't knowwho we donate to.
I don't make these decisions.
Our lobbyists handle all that.
So how do you thinkwe should respond?
Well,we can't just roll over.
I mean, what happens whenour pro-life employees
decide to writea different letter?
I agree. This is a business.
We can't run itlike a democracy.
I just worry thatif we don't respond,
the narrative will bethat Katherine Hastings
doesn't support women.
- I don't support women?- I'm not saying that.
I'm saying that the narrativewould say that.
- Headlines, gossip.- It would probably go
on your Wiki under"Controversies."
"Katherine Hastingsis famously anti-woman."
Fine, I guess it doesn't hurtto show them what
our out-of-state protocols are.
Elliot, what is our policy,by the way?
Post-Dobbs, uh, well,our official policy
is, um, we need to formulatean official policy.
- I'll write it.- [laughs] God no.
You're [bleep] with us, right?
Well, let me just trya first draft.
This thing isvery complicated, okay,
but if you send meyour thoughts,
I'll format them and proof themand then throw them
- in the trash and I'll give...- Ugh.
You something sensiblethis afternoon.
Great, then maybe we could,
I don't know,try to sell a car.
Wouldn't that be crazy?
[light music]
The annoying thing is,I am probably more pro-choice
than any of these people.
I mean, my generation foughtfor those rights.
I remember how it wasbefore Roe.
- Weren't you, like, five?- I mean,
people have memoriesfrom when they're five.
Yeah, but just cartoonsand stuff.
All right, Katherine,here's your Green Detox.
I added bee pollen for $4,
so that's $4 worthof bee pollen.
Great. Thank you, Dori.Oh, Dori,
if anyone who signs this wantsto come see me,
just get rid of 'em.
- Oh, I signed that letter.- [laughs]
- Oh, you're serious? Oh.- Mm-hmm.
Right there. See?On the right, Dorothy Otis.
I--I wish you'd talked to me.It's kind of awkward,
having my own assistantcall me out.
Sorry.I didn't mean to ambush you.
- Next time, I'll tell you first.- Oh, great.
- Mm-hmm.- Thank you. It's okay.
Could--could you just do mea favor, though,
and--and take it off?
It just kind of makes melook bad.
I'd rather not do that.
- This is important.- I agree.
Which is why I'm saying no.
I'm just gonna jump onin here.
Looks like there's a lotof feelings being expressed
here and that is so healthy,
but do you know what's funny isthat I think politically,
we're on the same side.
Except for my generationactually fights
- for our beliefs.- We're both Gen Y.
No, I'm Young Y. You Old Y.
Okay, that's nothow it works.
I hate to pull rank here,Dori, but I'm your boss.
Just 'cause you're my boss, Katherine,
doesn't mean you getto tell me what to do.
That is the definitionof a boss.
Y is Y.It's all one generation.
Sorry, pal.
I've got a legal meetingin here now.
I don't think so.I have a design meeting.
No, no, I've got it, uh,
here we go, Conference Room B,11:00 a.m., Legal.
11:00, Design.Did they double-book?
No one double-booked.
You fell for my ruse.
I wanted to make sureyou couldn't make excuses
about other stuff you hadto do,
so I made appointmentsin each of your calendars,
specifically designedto lure you here.
Why does my calendarsay there's
a hot dog eating contestin here right now?
- Was that a mistake?- No mistake, my friend.
You're right where you needto be.
Have a seat.I'd like to welcome
all of youto the inaugural meeting
of the Payne Women's Committee.
Ah, shoot.
Uh, must be a dud.
Okay, okay, okay,just imagine a bunch
of sparkles and a loud bang.
The Payne Women's Committee?
If we let Elliotand his bean counters
in chargeof our abortion policy,
it's gonna be all rulesand restrictions.
Plus, I think this isjust a good chance for us
to show that we can be moresupportive of women, right?
The sarcasm isn'ta good look.
I'm not being--is it so hard to believe
that Wesley Payne might just bea little bit enlightened?
I do find it weird thatthe Payne Women's Committee
is four dudes.
Huh. No, that's a good point.
I didn't even think of that.This is why we need your input.
Wesley, I respectwhat you're doing.
I--well, strike that.I somewhat understand
what it is that you're doing,and I would love to help--
uh, well, you should probablystrike that as well.
But this is very hard,it's very complicated,
so just leave itto the professionals, yeah?
[sighs][bang]
Oh, it's a sign!Let's get started!
I mean, it's not like I askedDori to compromise her values.
Outside of work,I don't care what she does.
I don't even ask.Is she married? No idea.
Does she have kids?Don't know. Don't care.
I'm sure she appreciateshow you never ask her
- about herself.- You know, I have plenty
of beliefs that I don't bringinto the office.
- I think it's wrong to eat veal.- Mm-hmm.
I--I don't think that menshould dye their hair
under almost any circumstance.
I mean, I think the whole ideaof God is pretty far-fetched.
[laughs]Yeah, I'd keep that one quiet.
Yeah, no, exactly--I keep my opinions to myself
because I am the CEO,
and I can't affordto alienate our customers.
Well, these people,they just wanna feel heard.
If you could just meetwith them
and let them expresstheir feelings--
Like a therapist?Why is that my job?
You don't have to do anythingthey're asking or even respond.
Just, like, a few minutesof listening...
- [sighs]- And we can put this all
- behind us.- Great, fine.
- If you really think it'll help.- I do.
Just being there with themwill validate them.
Validation, it's--it's a pretty big thing for us.
Them.
Yes, them/us.
Just make them feel heard.Don't try to correct them
or explain anything.
Even if you are right,if you argue with them,
- you're wrong.- Got it.
Yeah, I've done a lotof pointless couples therapy.
I know howto fake an open mind.
Well, well, well.Good afternoon.
We look forwardto a productive dialogue.
Oh, great. Dorothy's here.both: Mm-hmm.
[voice muffled]So we guarantee their travel,
we give 'em an appropriateamount of time off,
and we voice our support.
That's all the hard stuff.
All that's left islittle details.
The little detailsare the hard stuff, okay?
Are we flying them firstor coach?
Are we allowing themto take a partner with them?
How much are we willingto reimburse?
It's just, uh,all-expenses-paid.
All-expenses-paid is nota legal concept.
It's just something they sayon "The Price Is Right."
Are we also gonna payfor lodging?
Yes, duh.[laughs]
How long would theybe there for?
I had a week off afterI had my wisdom teeth out.
- Does that help?- It does not.
If only there wasa woman around
to help withthis kind of thing?
Well, why don't we just say,we'll put them up
in a hotel for as longas needed?
Yes, a hotel.Uh, what quality of hotel?
I don't know, uh,someplace decent.
- A Marriott.- Mm...
Eh, that's like, "Eh."
- Courtyard Marriott.- Oh, Jack.
Haven't these womenbeen through enough?
Thank you all for coming.
I'm Sadie Ryan.
I'm the chief communicationsofficer here at Payne.
My pronouns are she and her,
and I'd like to introduce youto someone
that's been named on "Forbes'"Most Powerful Women list
for more yearsthan I can count.
[both laugh]
And I'm just, like, really glad
that this ceilingisn't made of glass;
- otherwise she'd shatter it.- [laughs] Oh, gosh.
- Katherine Hastings.- Hi there.
Hi. Uh, no speech.I'm here to listen.
Oh, uh,my pronouns are she/her.
Um, she's/hers.
I guess "we/us," you know,when it's appropriate.
"You" is fine,unless it's like, "Hey, you."
- In which case...- [feigns cough]
- I don't like that.- Yeah.
[clears throat]Anyway, here to listen.
- I'm done.- I'll go first.
Yeah.
When we express our concernsto you,
you've dismissed our opinions.
It makes us feel like you seeus as functions and not people.
That attitude is hurtful, and,you know, it makes me feel--
it makes us...[all murmuring]
- Yeah.- Feel like we're being
taken for granted.
- [all snapping fingers]- Oh, well, thank you.
I certainly--I hear that.
Also, when you orderyour coffee,
you gotta let me knowahead of time, Katherine,
if you want decaf, okay?
I'm not a mind reader.
[exhales]And I'm done.
Fair point.
Um, I'll go next.
Oh. Hi, Chloe.
There's a special place in hell
for womenwho don't support women.
You're a traitor.
- Ooh, boy.- Oh, that's a little harsh.
- [laughs]- Yeah.
And then back home,
everybody getsan Edible Arrangement.
The cantaloupe one, though.We don't need to go crazy.
Good job, guys.I think we're done.
Uh, we are not even closeto being done.
Is therea lifetime benefit cap?
Uh, which state do they go to?
Is there a time limitby which they have to apply?
Uh, some women don't evenknow they're pregnant
- for a while.- Well, okay.
Uh, when do they usuallyfind out by?
In what world would you lookto me for this?
You know a tonof random stuff.
About topicsI find interesting.
I am pretty sureit has something to do
- with a "pap shmeer," right?- Pap smear.
I wanna say, like, a--a moon cycle?
Uh, something to dowith the moon.
Should we maybe asksome women about this?
Yes, Wesley.I, um, think that we should.
This is, without a doubt,
the worst timein human history to be a woman.
- group: Yes.- Really?
- Now's the worst time?- Just go with it.
I certainly hearthat opinion.
While this is an issuethat disproportionately
affects employees with uteri,
men have to speak outto support them.
- It ends now.- Yes, that is great.
You, sir, are great.[all snapping fingers]
You can't claimto be a feminist
but then give moneyto people who hate feminism.
[affirmative muttering]
Um, I--you know, I probablyshouldn't say anything.
- Then--then don't.- [laughs] No.
It's just, you know, just--just--just--just to clarify,
our lobbying firm makesthese decisions, okay?
You're the CEO.
I told you notto say anything.
You know who else just didwhat they were told?
The Nazis.
Oh, yeah. Come on.
Do you pledge to disavowthese donations
and publicly apologizefor your role in enabling them?
Just gonna jump on in here.
Uh, today was really moreabout listening.
Yes, this was the beginningof a great dialogue, guys.
- My door is always open.- That's a lie, y'all.
Her door is booby-trapped shutand it got me in front of it.
That's not helpful.
By not speaking out,
you are literally being violentagainst women.
I am not literallybeing violent to anyone.
- Silence is violence.- Okay, you know what?
That's a catchy sloganand it rhymes,
but it is just a fact
that silence is notliterally violence.
Mm-kay, I think today wasa really productive first--
- group: Silence is violence.- Yeah.
- group: Silence is violence.- You guys are--
you cannot just changethe definition of a word
because you were born afterthe "Seinfeld" finale, okay?
Google "Khmer Rouge."Google "Rwanda."
Google "Black Fridayat Walmart."
The world is fullof violent people,
but I am not one of them!
- I am a person who beli--- Oh!
[all gasping]
Oh!
- I'm fine. I'm fine.- Oh!
- Oh.- I'm fine. I'm fine.
- Oh, my God.- No, it's fine.
- I feel actually fine.- Oh.
It's just a cheap shirt.
This is Amazon Essentials, honestly.
Workplace violenceis defined as the act
or threat of violence,
and it rangesfrom verbal abuse to actual...
I appreciate the company, butyou don't have to stay here.
No, I don't mind.
It's always goodto have a refresher.
Excuse me, would you, uh,pay attention to the video?
I already knowwhat workplace violence is.
I don't need the video.
We have to show it to anyone
who's been reportedfor an incident.
Can't find any exceptionsfor CEOs.
Got it.You're very important.
- Thank you.- There are several factors
that can makea hostile work environment.
You know,when I was coming up,
a hostile work environmentwas the goal.
My bosses would attackevery weakness,
especially if you were a woman.
Now I'm the boss,and it's all "Be kind.
Make everyone feel heard."
Um, there's gonna bea quiz after.
I don't need the quiz.
Right, yeah. No, you don't.
But you do haveto take the quiz, though.
See?
CEO of the company, and eventhis pissy little eunuch
gets to tell me what to do.
Well, maybe it's a good thing
that we're endingthis cycle of abuse.
It's just,I worked really hard.
I paid my duesto get to the top.
- Mm.- And I made a lot
of sacrifices along the way,
in my personal life,in my work life,
and then it's like they justwent and changed all the rules.
I just don't knowwhere I fit anymore.
Hey.
Um, Katherine?
Calling mea "pissy little eunuch"
felt like bullying, and--
Okay, scold me againand see what happens, Tom.
See what [bleep] happens.
You want some of what she got?
We thought it was important,in the name of inclusivity,
to get your input on thisbecause we
in the Payne Women's Committee believe
that women should always beon top.
That's notour official slogan.
Uh, we are very opento any suggestions you may have
of ways to improve, you know,health and safety for, uh--
- ooh, yes?- I think we need more lights
in the parking lot.
A number of us feel unsafe
walking to our cars at night.
Sorry, I shouldhave been more clear.
Um, we're looking for--for,you know, health and safety,
uh, advances that are specificto, um, you know, abortions.
Oh, it's just sometimesI hear footsteps--
- Oh, lady in glasses.- Why is this something
being worked on by four men?
I've been sayin' thatall day.
- Kiss-ass.- Uh, well, it was actually
supposed to be worked onby one man.
It's just these guys sort ofhorned in, you know?
Um, I'm pro-life,and I don't think
our company should bedoing any of--
How can you say that, Joy?
Uh, okay. Come on, ladies.Let's not, uh--
I can't believethat you would even think
- something like that.- I have a right to my opinion.
- This is a fun turn.- Guys,
this isn't a discussionwe should be having.
- Let's move on.- Thank you. Please.
I was told I can't bringmy iguana to work even though
he's a state-recognizedsupport animal.
So we can talk about iguanas
but we can't talk aboutlighting in the parking lot?
Well, I think both topicsare something that were
- getting a little bit off--- So am I not allowed
to express my opinionthat abortion is wrong?
It's just not whatthis meeting is about.
If this werea party-planning meeting,
you could suggest"Under the Sea"
or the "Roaring Twenties,"but you can't just say,
"Let's ban all parties."
You banned the party I wantedto do.
We're not doing a "Pimps'n' Hos Christmas," Mandy.
Nobody wants that.
- Speak for me much?- I think we're getting away
from the--the main topic here,which is, you know,
if you wereto have an abortion,
uh, you know, or not, obviously,
but--but if you were,
then which hotel chainwould you prefer?
[groans] Fine.I guess, La Quinta?
Are you [bleep] kidding me,Joy?
La Quinta is good.Stop trying to muzzle me.
A support iguanais a medical device.
- But listen, just calm down.- I'm feeling
discriminated against,and I'm going to HR.
- What? No, no, no, no.- I'll go with you.
- Don't go to HR.- No HR.
- Please don't go to HR.- La Quinta Inns
and La Quinta Suites offervery different experiences.
- You can't all go to HR.- It's the same parent company
but with twovastly different products.
- It was like, "Ooh."- Hey.
This is a--this is a cool spot.
Sadie, how's your nose?
- Looks worse than it is.- Okay.
Luckily, I always keepa clean shirt in my car.
Are you gonna press charges?
Against Katherine?It was an accident.
I basically ran into her fist.[laughs]
I realizethat sounds like something
a battered wife would sayor battered husband,
battered partner, anyonethat gets battered, really.
I don't feel safe havingsomeone like that in charge.
She needs to resign.
- What?- Whoa.
We should write a letter.
Another letter?So many letters.
It's like, when do you guyshave time to work?
It doesn't really seemlike getting rid
of our first female CEOis exactly, like,
- "Whoo, feminism."- You saw what happened.
- She's unhinged.- It was an accident.
It was like oneof those hilarious,
random things that happen,you know?
You're defending her?
Your generation really doesn'tget it.
My generation?Girl, how old do you think--
It's not your fault.People your age
have a lotof internalized misogyny.
- Mm-hmm.- We have what now?
Now, at this point,you might be thinking,
"If I have to worrythat everything I say
may offend someone,I just won't speak it all."
But that, too,is a form of harassment.
Hey, Wesley,remember when I told you
this was a complicated issuebest left to the professionals?
When did everyone getso sensitive about everything?
It's like you can't evenhave a nice little innocent
workplace conversationabout abortion anymore.
Sometimes I missthe assembly line.
Nine rivets, press the button,nine rivets, press the button.
It was so simple.
Shut up and watch the video,you pissy little eunuchs!
Make a hostilework environment.
How did I gofrom strong independent woman
to tool of the patriarchywho needs to resign?
You know, I think it'sa mixture of success and age.
- Just success mostly, though.- Mm-hmm.
Got you a green smoothie.
- Oh, okay. Thanks.- Got me one too.
- I put them both on your card.- Oh.
You didn't happento get one for me?
It doesn't matter.I'm not thirsty.
So...
I heard there's gonna beanother letter.
If you feel you needto sign it, I won't be mad.
I'm not signing that.
I'm not oneof them overly sensitive,
E-juice vapin', single-wheelskateboarding children.
They don't even respecttheir elders.
It's nice to have you back, Dori.
Makin' ramen noodlesall fancy.
Chicken in the NyQuil,can y'all believe this?
I love howthey're all talking about
"breaking norms"and being so original,
and then they all followthe same trends.
It's like,"I am such an individual.
"Now watch me dothe exact same TikTok dance
that, like, 4 millionother people are doing."
And they always talking about"deadass this"
- and "deadass that."- Mm.
Y'all, what in the hell isa dead ass?
I have no idea.
And they wanna be famousfor doing nothing
except being themselves.
Do somethingthat makes the world better.
- I know.- Being a influencer
ain't revolutionary.
It's just likebeing the popular kid
- in high school.- And they are all just
so morally pureand holier than thou.
[laughs] They not allthat pure, Katherine.
[laughs]What do you mean?
Well, Hazel claimsto not like Dave Chappelle,
but she be at every oneof his live shows.
And Breanna eats Chick-fil-Aevery day.
I could keep going,but let me stop.
No, please, keep going.
Well, Natasha sayshe don't like Michael Jackson,
but she be doingthe "Remember the Time" dance
on her lunch break.
Inauspicious startto the Payne Women's Committee.
Here I am,a man trying to correct
the mistakes of the past,but I'm still the bad guy?
I don't get it.Are we just supposed
to sit around and wait untila woman needs us
to change a light bulb?
I got asked to change
three different light bulbslast week,
and I had to stand on a rollingdesk chair for one of 'em.
You ever notice how whenthey have to evacuate a ship,
it's always women and childrenfirst?
- Mm.- Okay, I get the children,
but why are men somehowmore disposable than women?
But why do I have to changethe big plastic jug
on top of the water cooler?
You know, I've got a bad back.
Ugh, I hate being askedto change those.
- Me too.- #MeThree.
Mm.
Thank you allfor joining me again.
I am an imperfect person.
I have a lot of decisionsto make,
and sometimes--a lot of times--I screw up, so I'm sorry.
Just like...I imagine Ruby is sorry
for the timesthat she screwed up.
- Excuse me?- Oh, you know,
the whole Malala thing.
Yeah, she darkened her skin
for a Malala Halloween costume.
- [outraged chatter]- That was six years ago.
Yeah, well,the Internet's forever, Ruby.
Don't defend yourself.That's gross.
I know that ain't Miss Harpertalkin',
the one who goes on and onand on about trans rights
but loves "Mrs. Doubtfire."
- What?- You're such a hypocrite.
- [scoffs]- Well, we all make mistakes.
What did, uh--what did Chloe do again?
Big R. Kelly fan.
I don't.
I separate the artistfrom the art.
That is super problematic.
Whatever.Sasha voted for Kanye.
- [crowd yelling]- Well, sounds like you guys
have a lot to discuss amongstyourselves, so just have fun.
Oh, oh, oh, and Josh,
he bought a bulldogfrom a puppy mill.
A female-owned puppy mill.
- Bye.- Oh, come on.
[all arguing]
Mmm, what flavor is this?
Lavender chamomile.
It's like sipping a massage.
I put it in my travel mug,
tell everybody I'm drinkinghot coffee.
Yeah, you shouldn't haveto hide it though, you know?
You know, why can't men enjoydelicious things?
Yeah, and allof our deodorants are,
like, "sandalwood musk"or "Arctic gunmetal."
- Mm.- I like vanilla.
- I like bergamot.- Yes.
Why can't I smell like those?
You know, I have neveronce had a manicure.
- No.- Yeah, because I guess society
has decided that personalhygiene is gendered.
And do you know what womenget to do
that I always wishedthat I could?
- both: Hmm?- Give and receive
multiple orgasms.
No, I think technicallywe can give those.
I don't think so.[laughs]
You know what? I'm doing it.
I'm ordering the vanilla.
- Yes.- Because I like it.
- Yes.- Good for you.
- Please do.- Your body, your choice.
Were we the good guysor the bad guys just now?
No idea, but it was fun.
Yeah, I see whythat generation
likes canceling people.
It's energizing.
What's going on here?
We're havin' a PayneWomen's Committee meeting.
This is black coffee,by the way.
Uh-huh.Hey, uh,
have you guys written upthose policies I asked for?
Oh, you know, we, um--we started them,
but then ultimately felt,you know, that, like,
as men,it wasn't really our place.
Yeah, that needsto be something women do
- for themselves.- Oh, great, yeah.
One more thing on my plate.
- Thank you, guys.- Yeah, yeah. Good job.
Are men genetically lazy,
or is this more likea societal thing?
Honestly,and don't repeat this,
- I truly think it's both.- Mm-hmm.