.
- So he killed at least five women,
but the police only found four bodies.
- And it's ten episodes? - Mm-hmm.
And apparently, they get the sister to talk.
- Yep, it's gonna be my entire weekend.
- Mm-hmm. - Hey.
Where are you all headed?
Did you see the stock's back up this week?
We should celebrate. Let's go for drinks.
- Together, or in our separate homes?
- There's that cool new bar lounge place
that just opened up.
Sadie, you could feed your cats, meet us there?
- Oh, I don't have cats. - Really?
What's with the whole vibe then?
- Um... - Oh, hey.
Dori, we're gonna go get drinks.
- Is this, like, a mandatory work thing?
- No, it's just kind of a fun team player kind of thing.
[forced laughter] - So I'm going?
- Good God, we should have done this earlier.
Ooh, hey, Elliot. Hi.
We're going for drinks. You're coming.
- Oh, I'd love to,
but actually my parents are in town tonight.
Yeah, I haven't seen them for a while, you know,
but they're stopping over on their way to Puerto Vallarta,
you know, so...
So I'll come for a drink. - Great.
- Uh, what's going on?
- Oh, nothing. - I heard someone say "drinks."
- Uh, yeah, I did.
- Sick! I'm in!
Oh, I finally get to be your wingman.
It'll be an honor to watch you work.
- Don't think it's gonna be that type of night.
- Can you imagine the runoff this guy gets?
Even his leftovers gotta be eights or nines.
- * Bom bom bom-bom-bom-bom-bom *
* Buh buh bom-bom-bom buh bom-bom-bom-bom *
[chorus vocalizing]
- Wow, this place is nice. - Ooh.
- Yeah, it's trendy, but it doesn't feel like it's trying.
- I like that the music isn't, you know, too loud.
- Oh, excuse me, ma'am, the bus to the old folks' home
is waiting for you right outside.
- Somebody give Sadie a flashlight
so she can see the menu. [laughter]
- Do they serve Ensure martinis here?
- Right, right.
- Uh, you're lame as [bleep].
- Oh. - Nice.
- I'm joking, okay? She's like a sister to me.
Come here, you big goon.
[phone buzzing] - Oh, my parents.
Probably wondering where I am. Killing the buzz, as usual.
- Um, I'm gonna get us a table, and let's do some shots.
Are shots still a thing?
- Is pouring alcohol in a cup still a thing?
I believe it's still being done.
- Amazing. Order us a round of shots.
Whoo! [forced laughter]
- Uh, is she acting weird? - Yeah.
Her energy's off. She's, like--
- Horny. - Ew, but yeah, kind of.
- Okay. How long do y'all think this is gonna go?
Because my grandmama has a birthday party tonight.
- Uh, well, I'm in it to win it.
Jack, you don't have a date or anything, right?
- Nope. - Noice!
And I assume Sadie has no plans.
- It's Friday night. Of course I have plans.
I am...
- You could make up literally anything.
- Yeah, that's what made it so hard.
- Mm. - Yeah, so just,
you know, let yourselves in, okay?
Have a little rest.
You must be pretty jetlagged
with all the traveling.
Uh, Mum, all right.
Well, let's not get too dramatic, all right?
I just saw all of you last Christmas.
Well, I think Zoom does count, actually.
- One, two, three. Shots!
- That's how you drink shots, by yelling "shots."
- Mmm. - Oh, Sadie's sipping.
- You can't tattle on me for sipping.
I'll drink it how I want to.
- No, he's right. Sack up, Sadie.
Come on. All right.
Let's each go around the horn and share something.
Cyrus, go.
- Okay, um...
there's some interesting AI software
that I'm looking into licensing.
- [imitates buzzer] Boring. No shop talk.
Come on. Share something about yourself.
- I really don't have anything. - Oh, come on.
We barely know each other outside of work.
Let's all say something personal,
you know, something you've never told anyone before.
Come on. - Come on.
- [sighs]
I took a 23andMe, and it says
that I might have that gene for colorectal cancer.
- Well, that's kind of a downer.
It's not exactly what I was looking for.
All right, Dori, save us. - Uh...
never seen "Titanic."
- No way! Me either! - What?
- So seeing a movie qualifies?
You asked for something personal.
- Jack, go. - Uh...[exhales sharply]
I like blue velvet cake more than red velvet cake.
[laughter] - That's crazy!
- But it's the same flavor.
- What did I miss?
- We're digging deep, getting to know each other.
- Uh, Jack likes blue velvet more than red velvet
and Cyrus is gonna die.
- All right, jump in, Elliot. Tell us about your real self.
- Okay, well, here's a fun one.
When I was nine, a bully shattered my clavicle
with a croquet mallet. - Whoa.
All right, now that's the kind of thing I'm looking for.
- Oh, my buddy had his clavicle removed
so he could do oral on himself.
- I think that's ribs. - No, it's--
wait, hold on.
Oh, yeah. You're probably right.
- Yeah, it's ribs. It's ribs.
All right, let's get another round.
Hello... - God, shoot me.
- Ooh, I'm a huge Sudokuer.
- Oh, truly I'm obsessed with it.
- I'm not, like, a nerd about it.
- No. No, of course not. No.
Yeah, not like I'm in a league or anything.
[both laugh]
- Hey. - Hmm?
- Dark bar. You should cover your drink.
- Thanks.
- Yeah, I've just been noticing
how wide open that drink's been.
- You have? - Mm-hmm.
- How late do we need to stay at this thing?
- I think we can leave whenever we want to.
- I'm not gonna be the first to get up, though.
- Mm-mm.
- Well, we'll all get up on the count of three.
- Okay. - One, two...
all: Three.
- What's up?
- Cramp in my leg, so I'm stretching it out.
Don't want to get a blood clot.
[chuckles nervously]
- Chicken. - You are!
- Are you guys hungry? We should get menus.
Excuse me. Hi there.
Could we get some menus, please?
- Oh, great, food. - Oh, my God.
- I'm so sorry, we actually need to close you out.
We have a private event later.
- Oh, no. - Aw, rats.
- That's too bad. - What private event?
The Party Poopers of America Convention?
- You know what? We should just keep this going at my house.
Yeah. - Yes, I'm in.
- Your house? Tonight?
- Yeah, we're just getting started.
I mean, this is gonna be fun.
I will go settle the tab.
- Thank you. - Pay that tab, homegirl.
- Chug 'em if you got 'em.
- My grandmama gonna be pissed if I miss her birthday.
She ain't got that many left.
- Hey, wait.
Should we be worried?
Katherine has never once asked us to do anything social,
and now she's, like, desperate for us to come over?
- Is she moving? - What?
- Y'all, if I miss my grandmama birthday
to help her move [bleep], I'm going to lose my mind.
- Hey, you made it!
All right! Let's get this party started!
both: Hey. - What, are you moving out?
- Oh, no, just Richard is. We're getting divorced.
[sighs]
You guys just gonna stand there all night?
.
- Sorry for the mess. It's usually a lot nicer
in here. Oh, yeah.
Like, you see those dents in the carpet over there?
Just picture, uh,
three chrome nesting tables stacked together.
They're great. Really anchor the...space.
- Totally makes the room. - Sounds nice.
- Hello.
What is this? - Hi, Richard. Hi.
I just invited a bunch of my friends over from work.
- Tonight? - Mm-hmm, yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry. Should I have run that by you?
Oh, wait. You don't live here anymore.
- No, you just do whatever you want.
- Yeah. - Like you always do.
- I will. I'll do that, yeah.
- Oh, if this is a bad time, we can go--
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's a perfectly good time.
Richard was supposed to be done hours ago.
The fact that he's here isn't my fault,
just like his many shortcomings aren't my fault.
- Oh, that's funny. Yeah, should we talk
about the things that aren't my fault?
- [laughs] - Yeah.
Her narcissism, for example, is not my fault, right?
Her clinical depression, not my fault.
- Well, this one has OCD. - That's not my fault.
[argument continues]
- Feels weird to be watching this.
- Yes, I believe it is basic house guest etiquette
not to stare directly at a couple
while they're actively divorcing.
- Okay, while y'all figure this out, I'm just gonna slink--
- Oh, no, Cyrus, don't. - No, Cyrus.
- Cyrus, no, no, no, no. - That makes it worse.
- I can't even slice a bagel correctly!
- You don't cut it like a normal person.
Normal people slice it...
- I don't think this is any better.
- Did you know they were getting a divorce?
- There's a confidentiality agreement
between a boss and an assistant.
I can't just reveal what's going on in her personal life.
- You didn't know. - No.
I would've told all of y'all. - What are you doing?
- I'm not gonna make it through this night without alcohol.
- You find anything good? - Some white wine vinegar,
skin care products, and some expired hot sauce.
- Wow, sorry about that. I was just working
on a couple little logistics. - Oh, no.
- What fighting? - Totally fine.
- Hey, let's get this party started!
Who wants music?
Uh, I don't know. What do you guys like?
Elliot, what music do you like?
- Well, I like all music, so... - But what's your fav?
Like, what's your jam? - Uh...
just, you know, just, like, everything.
Kind of equally. Kind of, eh!
- Do you not have a soul, or are you
just too frightened to have an opinion?
- Both. - Okay.
All right, we're gonna get up in the club now.
Here we go. Let's get funky.
Oh, shoot. Shoot.
Richard's the one that usually deals with the Wi-Fi speakers.
- Want me to go ask him? - Oh, no.
[scoffs] We're divorcing.
You know, kind of bad timing.
The timing, it's eh. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Anyway, sorry.
- [clicking tongue]
- Oh, I know. Why don't we go in the Jacuzzi?
- Yes, we should totally hot tub it up.
"Hot Tub Time Machine," am I right?
- Right about what? You just named a movie.
- Darn it. I don't have no bathing suit.
- Uh, we don't need 'em. - Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we do.
- You can just borrow one of mine.
I have so many. - Mm.
That's too bad for us guys, though.
Sounds like it's gonna be a ladies night kind of thing.
I'm so jealous 'cause I really wish
that I could get in that hot tub.
But you know what? Next time,
I'ma get boozy in the Jacuzzi with you Katherine, okay?
Good night. - [laughs]
Oh, you know what? - Hmm?
- Oh, there are so many bathing suits in the Goodwill box
that Richard was giving away. - Yeah?
- Let me go check. - Okay.
All right. - How about that?
You got to stop saying you want to stay at places
you don't really want to stay.
- Yeah, Mum, look, I want to see you too.
It's just that I'm at the CEO's house right now.
It's kind of a big deal. Everyone's here.
I can't exactly leave.
What do you mean you're hungry?
What happened to the Stouffer's I left for you?
You microwaved it.
Okay, well, if you treat it like [bleep],
it'll taste like [bleep].
- I think I've got some suits
for you to wear in the closet.
- Great. - Yeah.
- Whoo! [chuckles]
How long do you think this is gonna go for?
- I'm thinking 5 minutes to get changed,
20 in the tub, 12 to dry off, say goodbye.
And we're out of here in 37 minutes.
- Nice. Nice. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- Ain't it not sanitary to wear somebody else's bathing suit?
- I think it's fine.
- My mama always told me to keep my underwear on
when I tried on swimsuits at the mall.
That's why I said that.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense.
- She also told me red lipstick would make me a whore.
- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.
- Uh-huh.
- Hey.
- Nice suit. - Yeah.
Uh, Katherine said it was in a donate box.
But I can-- - It's all yours.
Just enjoy. - Thank you.
It's a great suit. - Mm-hmm.
- It's just the right amount of pockets.
This one even has zippers, which I can put snacks--
- You know what? I'm gonna take off.
[upbeat music]
* *
- [bleep] damn night from hell.
- Uh-uh, I...
I can't figure these jets out. I don't really use the hot tub.
- I actually like how it's perfectly still.
You can really see everything.
- So when did you and Richard decide to get a div--
- Oh, I don't want to talk about Richard.
- Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, no. - Yeah.
- Let's talk about other stuff. - Yeah, yeah.
[chuckles] - Yes.
- So, Cyrus, so how are things progressing with the EV stuff?
- I thought you said no shop talk.
- I did. I did. I did.
- But we could talk about it if you want to.
- No, no, no, no, it's my rule. I'm sticking to it.
No shop talk.
Tonight is about bonding and fun.
[chuckles] - Yeah.
- Anyone see that documentary about the Uyghurs?
- Oh, no, I've been meaning to. Is it any good?
- I haven't seen it. - Ah.
- Uh, I-I heard it's pretty sad.
Yeah, lots of people being mistreated really badly there.
- Wow. - That's pretty...sad.
[water ripples] - Oh.
- Uh, jets are kicking in.
- So are we just gonna keep sitting in this fart water?
- As much as I've enjoyed this deranged social experiment,
I'm gonna go.
- Ah, hey. all: Hey.
- I just love that post-hot tub feeling.
- Yeah, it's great 'cause you're not
in a hot tub anymore.
- [chuckles] So what's next?
- Next? Like, after now?
- You know what? We should play a board game.
Do you guys like board games?
We've got Clue, Battleship...
- Hey, Katherine, this has been--
- Oh, wait, what's this one? - Oh, my God.
- Warhammer: Owls of Asgard,
which I think involves us painting our own pieces.
- Oh, wow, look at the time.
I gotta get up early for... [mumbles]
- [yawns] Yeah. It's a bit past my bedtime.
- Oh. - Ah, gotta feed the cats.
- Yeah, maybe we just call it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Of course. Of course, it's late.
Of course. Go home. I'm sorry. Yes, yes.
- We can stay if you want us to.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, go home. Enjoy your weekend.
I've gotta catch up on my binging anyway.
See you Monday. both: Okay.
- Night-night. Thank you. - Good night. Thank you.
Such a good time. - Mm.
- All right.
Who is in what tennis game tonight? [chuckles]
- Katherine, you sure you're good?
- Oh, yes, of course. Yeah.
No, no, I just don't know how to use remotes,
so I-I just watch my shows on this.
Night, guys. Take care.
You guys know the way out.
- You know what? I think I'm gonna stay.
- You know what? Me too.
- You guys, it's fine.
I know how to be alone.
- No, I'd rather hang out here.
- Yeah, and if Jack's staying, I'm staying.
I'm not gonna go do a pub crawl by myself.
- Wasn't gonna do that. - Right, because we're staying.
- My parents are probably asleep on the furniture
in my apartment, so I don't want to wake them up.
- Oh. - Night's shot to hell anyway.
Maybe we can Instacart some booze or something.
all: Yes.
- You have a whole case of Pappy Van Winkle?
This is, like, six figures' worth of bourbon.
- You know what? Help yourself.
There's wine. There's cigars.
There's caviar. There's gourmet cheeses.
- It's like a doomsday bunker
for the most fun apocalypse ever.
- Yeah, if this was the apocalypse,
it's weird to think that we'd have
to repopulate the Earth.
.
- Uh, this is a $10,000 bottle of Château Lafite Rothschild.
- It was a Christmas gift to Richard.
- Well, hell, if that's how you treat a man,
I'll marry you.
- Well, I am available. [laughter, chatter]
- Mm-mm.
That is way too salty.
- Yeah, dude, it's caviar.
- So basically, this one glass of wine
is worth two brand-new iPhones? - Mm-hmm.
- Worth it. Fill me up, Elliot.
Thank you. [upbeat music playing]
Hey!
- Hey. How did you get it to work?
- I checked the modem, and the Wi-Fi password was there,
so I searched local devices--
- Right. Can I say never mind?
- Yeah.
all: [chanting] Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
[cheering]
- Aah!
- * Hey, hey *
[vocalizing]
* Uh, yeah, yeah *
[vocalizing]
* Yeah, yeah *
both: Oh!
- * All the crazy I did tonight *
* Those'll be the best memories *
- Suck it!
- * I just wanna let it go for tonight *
* That will be the best therapy... *
- Oh! - Hey!
- * All the crazy things I did tonight *
* Those'll be the best memories *
[playing Beethoven's "Fur Elise"]
* *
- What song is this? - Oh, it's an original.
- Wow, you made that up? - Yeah.
- That's great.
- * I just wanna let it go for tonight *
* That will be the best therapy for me *
- * You're the best man I'll ever know *
* There's no way I could ever go *
* Darling, there's no way *
* No, no, no, no way I'm living without you *
- Hey, check it out.
I'm Edward Chablis-hands.
- Stop, Wesley.
I have to text my grandma and tell her I can't make it
to her birthday party. She gon' be pissed.
- Won't she understand if you told her
it's, like, a work emergency?
- She knows I'm just an assistant.
That's not an important job.
What are you doing?
- Hey, Mary, I need someone to drop off
a 2023 executive-class Palermo to, uh...
what's your grandma's address?
- 146 Lincoln Street.
Do the leather seats. All the options.
And write a note that says, "Sorry we needed Dori tonight.
"We couldn't run this company without her.
Happy birthday. From Payne."
- "Dori will get married."
- "And Dori will get married."
Yeah, I need it tonight.
Thank you, Mary.
- Oh, my God. [laughs]
Thank you, Wesley.
- [as Edward Scissorhands] Who's Wesley?
- Thank you, Edward.
- You're welcome. [chuckles]
- Hey, your hands are really red.
- It's really tight, actually. I need some scissors, I think.
- Yeah, okay, let me get some.
- Oh, God.
- Yeah, Hillary Clinton gave me this one
for something woman-y. I can't remember.
- Oh, is that you and the pope? - Yes, His Holiness.
We, uh--we met a couple years ago.
- Wow. What was he like? - Gassy.
- Really? - Yeah.
- That's so funny. I'd heard that before.
- Big time. - Somewhere else.
- Yeah. - And what's this one?
- Oh. [chuckles]
Uh, those are the burial plots
that Richard and I bought for ourselves.
Won't be needing those anymore.
I actually have six burial plots,
two for each marriage,
and I'm gonna end up being buried alone
next to a bunch of cats.
- Ooh. Like the pharaohs.
- [chuckles]
- You know, um,
being divorced doesn't have as much stigma anymore.
I mean, I've been divorced. - Once. Big deal.
I mean, everyone's been divorced once.
Maybe I'm just not marriage material.
- Oh, no. Come on.
How about this? Here's the deal.
In 20 years' time, if we're both single,
we'll marry each other.
[chuckles]
- [sobbing] - Oh, Katherine.
Oh, hey. It's all right.
You don't have to marry me.
- * Tear down the mountains *
* Yell, scream, and shout *
* You can say what you want *
* I'm not walkin' out *
- Don't jump.
[both chuckle]
- Just taking in the scenery. - Yeah.
- You want to join me? - How's the water?
- Oh, it's nice. - Oh.
Oh, my God, it's freezing.
That is freezing.
- Yeah, but if I told you that, you wouldn't have joined me.
- No.
- [sighs]
- Good moon tonight. - Mm-hmm.
- I like a crescent.
The full moon, eh, it's a little braggy.
It's like, we get it.
- We gonna talk about last week at some point?
- Mm, you mean the sex in the car thing
or the fact that Dale wore mismatched socks twice?
- [chuckles] Both of those are crazy.
- I mean, I like you.
I just--I always swore
that I would never date someone that I work with.
But then I always think,
well, I'm spending so much time at work.
If I don't date someone I work with,
am I just swearing off dating altogether?
And I also think that...
[sighs]
I don't know what I think.
- Well, when you decide, you know where to find me.
- * I'm stayin' *
* I'm stayin' *
* And you, and you, and you *
* You're gonna love *
* Oh, ah, ah, ah *
[inhales deeply]
* Me *
* Yeah *
* Oh, ah *
Thank you so much. Next, we're gonna
.
- I love a fire.
- I bet our ancestors
sat around fires just like this.
- Yeah, they were always buying [bleep] from West Elm.
- It's the first time I've ever used it.
And that's the irony: you work your butt off
to afford a big house,
and then you're working too hard to enjoy it.
[scoffs] - Mm.
- Do you ever think about
what else you could've done with your life?
- I used to want to be an architect.
- Oh, really? - At one point or another,
I think most young, gay boys do.
- You know, it's probably the whole Mike Brady thing.
- I sort of always wanted to go to New York
and do the fashion thing.
- Seriously? - Yeah.
Or, I don't know, become a therapist.
- That seems better.
- I used to want to be a pilot.
Or an athlete.
Or a detective.
Or a policeman.
Or a fireman.
Or an astronaut.
- So anything a seven-year-old wants to be when he grows up.
- Oh, or something with dinosaurs.
- Oh, a paleontologist. - No.
- Elliot, your turn. - Let me guess.
Haberdasher. - Cheesemonger.
- Chimneysweep.
- Yes, very droll, everybody. Well done.
Please continue to make hilarious jokes
about how British and effete I am.
- Okay. What did you want to be?
- Well, if you must know, I wanted to be a chiropodist.
- A what? - It's like a podiatrist.
Basically--essentially, I mean, it's a podiatrist.
- Now why would you want to go and do something like that?
- Uh, chiropodists make a lot of money.
- That is the most random [bleep] thing I've ever heard.
- Jack, what about you? What would your life be
if you weren't an assembly line worker that I hit with a car?
- I don't know.
- Like, what did you want to be when you were a kid?
- You know, I never really thought about it.
I just kind of take things as they come.
- You don't plan anything?
How does a person live that way?
- Well, a year ago, I was a factory worker.
Now I'm sitting in front of a fire pit
outside of a mansion with a Cuban cigar in one hand
and a hundred-year-old scotch in the other,
so things just kind of work out.
- But for real, was there, like,
a foot doctor in your family or something?
Like, I'm trying to wrap my head around it.
- It's just--it's a recession-proof business.
It's too late to come home now. I've called you a SuperShuttle.
Oh, it takes you to the airport.
It just doesn't take you to the terminal.
You know, taxi's, like, $40.
I'm not made of money.
- This is the softest blanket I've ever touched.
It's merino wool.
- They wick moisture.
That's why they're good.
'Cause they wick. - Okay.
- I'm gonna take mine home.
She's not gonna notice.
- I love you guys.
- Mm-mm.
- Oh, gosh. Tonight was fun.
Did everybody have fun? - It was fun.
- It was. - [chuckles]
Good. I'm glad.
Good night.
- Night.
- Good night.
- You guys want to be buried next to me?
- Excuse me? - Like, now?
- No. No, just someday.
- Oh, okay.
- Great.
[chuckles] It'll be great.
I'm looking forward to that.
[groans] Night. - Good night.
- [chuckles]