All things considered, we had a good day. Which part?
The part where you randomly started rapping at a bunch of year elevens
to "stay off da streets"? They were on the streets.
They were waiting at a bus stop.
The bus stop on da streets.
Wet wipe?
Yeah, go on, then.
It's going to need hot water.
Next week's rota, hot off the press.
Oh, give me, give me.
Hello to you, too, Dom,
my sumptuous almond joy. What?
What? Hmm? Don't know.
Why do they keep partnering me with Kay?
Partner with me if you like. No, thanks.
You wouldn't be saying that if you saw me
on that Call of Duty last night.
Absolutely beasted some lads from Tampa.
Racist bastards!
Not any more, they've banned most of those players.
No, I mean about always partnering me with Kay,
blatantly because we're both black. Oh, right, well, no comment.
Anyway, I thought you two were mates.
No, I don't even like working with the guy, he's a joke.
And when it kicks off, he'll be about as much use
as a chocolate teapot.
Weren't that racist?
No.
I don't know. Minefield.
Anyway, I wouldn't sweat it with PCSOs.
Most exciting it's going to get
is stopping a cyclist mounting the pavement.
Am I right?
I'm going talk to you about an undercover mission.
OK, OK, OK,
OK, this is a dream.
I'm still asleep in my box room off the kitchen.
She's, she's probably frying palm oil again
and that gives me nightmares.
So I'm not here, you're not here.
This is all just a jo...
Ow! My bad.
Sorry. It's OK. I'm awake now.
It's all right. It's... Aah!
I won't do that to you like that again.
I'm sorry.
I'm just going to, just check here. Sorry.
Just...
Yeah, as I thought.
OK, what is it?
Yeah, yeah, he's definitely dead.
Oh, what are you going to do, Dom? What are you going to do, Dom?
Well, the gang obviously killed Clinton,
which means they definitely know about us.
Yeah, yeah. They've probably been on to us this whole time, which is...
Which is how they got to him. Which is how they knew where we lived.
Oh, my God!
They know everything.
Why are you singing Shackle?
♪ I lift my hands
♪ I understand
♪ That I should praise you through my circumstance
♪ Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance...
Oh! Oh, oh.
I said I wasn't gonna do it again. I broke your trust.
I'm sorry. It was my bad.
OK, all right, let's just get a grip, OK?
I mean, if they knew about us, we'd probably be in that bag, too.
What are you doing? I'm calling for backup?
Oh! No backup.
They fired us, remember?
We can talk to them and we can, we can tell them.
Tell them what?
So let's go over this once more.
You were authorised by... Detective Inspector Clinton Blair.
..to infiltrate the notorious Bright Marsh Estate Gang.
But first, he told us to get fired from our jobs as community support.
By stealing a squad car?
And flashing your bum bum at pensioners.
He then stole drugs from a secure police lockup, sold said drugs
on the open market for the gang...
And finally tonight, you were driven to Walthamstow Marshes
by a gang member named Kevin... Tevin.
Tevin, who produced a dead body from his trunk,
which turned out to be that of Detective Clinton Blair.
Yes, that's right. Absolutely.
Well, that is quite a story, isn't it?
Indeed it is, Dave.
See, Dom, I told you they'd get it.
Wait, wait. No, I swear.
Look, we were just doing our civic duty.
Help! Do something!
It's not gonna work.
PHONE VIBRATES
Hi, Tevin. How are you?
You can't run.
I'm going to find you. What?
Run? Shit!
Who said anything about running?
I wasn't talking to you, Dom. Oh, thank God.
I mean, not, not, not...
Not that I care, because we weren't even talking about running, obvs.
Is it done?
Thing is, we are...
Kay and I are having a pretty heated discussion about best practice here.
Best practice?
I know you're in there.
Do you want to give yourself up now or wait till I catch you?
Do you mean me or...
You'll know when I mean you, Dom.
Just get it done.
What if we can't do it?
Gotcha!
Holy shit! What?
Well, the guy can multitask.
He's literally killing someone else whilst threatening us.
Let's play again. No, rules are rules.
I won, so, bedtime, yeah? OK.
Night, Daddy. Night, egghead.
We can't go to the police.
We can't leave the country.
I mean, they got to Clinton, and next it'll be you, me,
My dad... Your stepmum.
It's like one big, giant test, you know?
So, how do we pass the test?
We dig.
Kay?
Shit!
Why is the hole so small?
Yeah, it's compacted.
What?
Well, it's soil compaction.
It's when the air is displaced from the soil.
Makes it harder to dig. How do you know that?
I was a Brown Owl in the girl guides.
Why wouldn't you tell me this before we started digging?
It was a difficult time, and the Scouts rejected
my suggestions for change.
No, I mean about the soil. It must have slipped my mind, I guess.
OK, so how do we fix it?
Well, that depends on climate and fauna, mineralogy?
OK, fine, just dig, but harder. Got it?
OK, that's enough.
That's gotta do it.
Oh, yeah, that's big enough.
All that's left is just to, you know, just chuck him in.
This is all happening a little bit too fast.
Like, can we say a prayer first
for God to forgive us for our trespasses?
God has more important shit to worry about.
Let's just get this over and done with.
Oh, fuck.
Zip caught my finger.
Wet wipe?
Why?
A guide is a friend and sister to all. Your hands need protecting.
I'm the sister who will protect them.
God!
I'm protected.
So you're protected.
Protected.
He was protected.
Someone was protecting him.
Someone else knows about this mission.
Oh, my God!
What are you doing? Getting Clinton's phone.
You can't steal from the dead.
Hey, we need to find out who Clinton was talking to
before they got to him.
Because that person can get us out of this mess tonight.
Let me find...
Ha, I've got it!
Hang on, it's stuck. Stuck? Yes.
Oh, shit!
Not a phone, not a phone.
Absolutely not a phone.
Oh!
Also, kudos to you, sir.
It's impressive.
OK, going back in.
So it's touch ID, so it needs a fingerprint.
Thank you. I am aware, OK?
Just building up to it.
Right.
Aha! I'm in.
Oh, crap. What?
Needs his finger for everything.
Can't you just change the password?
Password?
Did you do it?
What?
What's happening, Dom?
What?
You can't cut it off, Dom.
We need it.
We can't cut it off, Dom.
We have to.
It's on you.
I can't. What?
I can't.
Kay, you lost. Cut his finger off.
We're burying dead bodies.
We're digging up dead bodies.
And now we're cutting off ligaments? Are we butchers?
Hey, I didn't wake up today planning to dig a ditch,
but I did it to keep us alive, all right?
So if I have to cut off a finger too, then fuck it.
I'm going to do it. Yeah?
What are you prepared to do?
Yeah, OK.
Hey, Lord.
Now would be a good time to say,
"My son, I was only kidding", you know, like you did with Isaac?
Please say something.
WOMAN SCREAMS
I don't know. I don't know what that means.
It means God is sick of your shit. Hurry up.
OK, OK, yes.
Yeah, you're right.
Ah!
No, I'm sorry, I can't.
I can't do it. I can't, I can't.
Just give it here.
Send a dickhead to do a woman's job.
Sorry, Clinton.
My arse is in your face.
This is not dignified.
I get it.
But I'm doing what needs to be done.
Yeah! Oh, oh!
OK.
Yeah!
See that? See that?
Doing what needs to be...
You OK?
At least it wasn't face ID.
OK, we're done here.
What do you mean? What do you mean, "what do you mean"? I mean I'm gone.
I knew from the second I saw you that you were a joke.
Dom, I was, I was scared.
Look, we just need to take some time. I'm sorry.
No, there is no way. Because you let me cut this finger off on my own,
so now you can fend for yourself.
You know what? I'm better off solo anyway, so goodbye, Kay.
And you know what? Fuck you!
Everything OK there?
Yeah, we just went for a walk. We got lost.
A bit late for a walk, isn't it?
It's just, we've had some reports of antisocial behaviour
in the area, you know, poaching, fly-tipping, dogging.
Looks like we've been rumbled.
Yeah.
Yes, ma'am.
We went on a hike, and then, what can I say?
We found ourselves dogging.
I can't say that I'm proud of it.
I can't say that we're proud of it.
That's who we are. We're doggers, me and her.
We're doggers, and that's just what we do.
We, we dog.
What are the spades for?
Oh, yeah. These...
Dogging, as we all know,
can get a bit messy, right?
Yeah! I mean, the other day, we were trying out a new technique,
weren't we, and we, we...
We just wanted to be thorough with our dogging clean-up.
Clean-up. Right.
If you leave now, I won't report you.
But if I catch you here again
or in any of the Waltham Forest conservation areas,
you will find yourself in court.
Yeah, no, don't worry.
You have no idea what dogging is, do you?
Not a one. God! What is it?
Thanks for breakfast, Dom.
Do you mind if I got another biscotti?
I'm good for it.
Come on, Dom, please talk to me.
There's nothing here. What?
There's nothing on here.
Just boring, normal phone crap.
Probably got a secret phone stashed somewhere.
Shit!
I hacked off his finger for nothing.
Have faith. We'll find something.
Faith?
A guy is dead. We buried his body.
I cut off his finger.
There's your faith.
Why are you still here, anyway? Dom? Crap!
Well, well, well.
Back once again with the renegade masters.
Bricey!
All right? Wow.
Yeah.
Got the old Bricey special, energy drink straight in the coffer.
Got to be done.
What? Nice.
Yeah.
What are you doing here anyway?
Why are you covered in shit?
No, just, oh, we were at a festival.
You ever heard of Leaf Life?
No. No? It's new.
Yeah, it's just this eco jazz soul mixed with a bit of Morrison dance
and Westlife fusion.
Sounds rubbish.
It is, because, you know, these eco types,
"Oh, we want to save the world but we can't keep a Portaloo clean!"
Right? It was horrendous.
Yeah. We just...
We came here to use the facilities,
clean up a bit.
And to get biscotti.
Oh, the biscotti is banging, isn't it?
I love the biscotti.
Yeah, he's all right, this guy.
Why are you always hating on my man?
I'm not hating on your man.
What was that thing you used to call him? I don't know.
Yeah, you do know. I don't.
It was... Chocolate teapot. Yes!
Yes.
Right.
Well, some of us got to get back to keeping them streets safe.
Stay out of trouble, you.
Dom, text me, any time. Day or night.
Same number. But I don't have your number.
It's just, you know, he's talking about something.
I found something.
Maps. Phones have maps.
Yeah, but...
Home.
That's his address.
That's just up the road.
I don't know,
maybe there's something there that can lead us
to who Clinton's been working with. Yeah.
That's Clinton's car.
This is it.
How do we get in? You're a girl guide,
didn't you learn to pick locks and shit?
Dom, I was a Brown Owl.
Funny enough, breaking and entering wasn't a badge.
Come, Dom.
What?
Window's open.
We need to find something to help us get up there.
What if we had a lasso and we just went...
Oh, yeah.
Oh, you know?
Yeah!
Yi, yi, yi!
Yi! Yi.
You do that, I'll find something real. Dom.
Shed.
Right. OK. Hold it steady. Oh.
I'm going up. Oh, OK.
Go on, then.
Hurry up. OK.
OK. All right.
Quicker! Don't rush me. OK.
It's, like, three feet high.
What is it?
I'm afraid I cannot remove my hands from the ladder, Dom.
What? Yes.
I can't remove my hands from the ladder.
Because if I do, I will fall.
Right, just come down. I'll go up.
OK, give me a sec.
Oh, look at that.
I cannot move.
I cannot remove my hands from the ladder
because I'm afraid of heights.
If you were scared of heights, Kay,
why would you volunteer to go up a ladder?
Because I don't want to be a chocolate teapot.
You are almost already up there.
Yeah? So just, just keep going, you can do it.
No, can't do it. Yes, you can.
Kay, you can do it. Dom, listen to me, yeah?
I looked up dogging on the internet.
My soul is forever scarred.
I am not cut out for this life, OK?
Bye, thank you. Kay, you are a Brown Owl.
You can do whatever you put your mind to.
So just...
♪ Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
♪ I'm just gonna praise ya
♪ You brought that change now I can lift my hands
♪ I'm gonna praise you
♪ I'm gonna praise you. ♪
That's it, Kay.
I did it!
♪ Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
♪ I'm gonna praise ya
♪ You broke the chains now I can lift my... ♪
Kay?
Kay? Are you all right?
♪ Through the fire and the rain
♪ Bound in every kind of way... ♪
Open the door.
Oh, wow!
Yeah, he was doing all right for himself.
OK, so what exactly are we looking for here?
I don't know.
A laptop, a burner phone?
Rolodex. OK. Fax machine? Fine.
Just anything that will lead us to who he was working with.
What is this? What is this Irish jig you're doing?
It's too many hot chocolates.
Right, do not piss in a dead man's house.
Excuse me.
He's going to piss in a dead man's house.
It's disrespectful.
Oh, an espresso.
Oh, yes.
Thank you, Clinton.
KNOCKING AT DOOR
Oh.
Oh!
Hey.
PHONE VIBRATES
Hello?
Hello? Mr Blair?
Hello, madam.
Nothing to be concerned about.
Who are you?
I'm a colleague of Clinton's.
Is he OK?
Everything's in hand.
Terribly sorry for the disturbance.
You can go home.
Who was that?
Superintendent Edwards.
What's the superintendent doing, breaking into Clinton's house?
Oh, maybe she is who Clinton's been working with.
Nah, she knew he wasn't going to be there.
Shit! She knew he was dead.
Who breaks into a dead man's house?
Yes, apart from us.
I think she was looking for this, you know?
I mean, there is enough info here to put the lot of them away.
But...
But why stash all of this in his bathroom
instead of his office?
What, so he can read all of this on the loo?
Kay, I don't think he was investigating the gang.
I think he's investigating the pigs.
That's really disrespectful, given our profession.
OK, fine, police, whatever.
This is some Line of Duty shit.
Look, I've got to get back. Yeah.
Oh, Kay? Yeah.
Yeah, I just wanted to say...
What?
You know. I don't know.
Tell me.
I just want to say I'm sorry if I called you a chocolate teapot.
I mean, you're not, obviously.
And, and you're...
You're all right.
I mean, you're better than all right, you're fine.
So, yeah, that's it.
Apology accepted.
Jesus came down to forgive us all... All right, don't ruin it.
Just piss off.
Are you ignoring me? Tevin!
Hey, Tev, mate.
Do, do, do! Top of the morning to ya!
Shut up. OK.
Is it done? Yeah, yeah, it's done.
Good.
Be on the block tomorrow.
Tevin?
You know, you can't keep coming to my home unannounced.
I have a life here.
I just, what I mean is...
I just mean...
I know what you mean.
Hey, you did what needed to be done tonight.
I respect that.
But let's get one thing clear.
You don't have a life now that don't have me in it.
Get me?
I get you.
We passed the test.
Plus, you know where the bodies are buried.
So that makes us yoked, for life.
And Dom?
When I call, you answer.
Yeah? Sure.
Sure thing.
Thank you, God, for your continued protection, your love and blessings.
Forgive us for the difficult things we've had to do
and may continue to endure.
Bless my friend, Dominique, and show her that you are a guiding light
to her path and a lamp to her feet.
What are we going to do, Hooty?
And even though darkness may be all around us,
we know that all things work together for good
for those who love you and are called according to your purpose.
So, in the end, all will be well.
Amen.
OK, everyone, this way.
So, it is...
Ten points for a caterpillar.
Eight points for a slug.
Miss? What is it, Murray?
How many points for a grave?
For a what? For a grave.
For a grave?
Now, that is going to be badgers.
Because at this time of year, you...