I need two officers to infiltrate
a gang dealing drugs on Brightmarsh Estate.
No, please don't shoot my hand, I play keys in a church band. Shut up!
This mission, it doesn't exist.
No, you, man ain't cut out for this game, innit?
I need you to bury this body.
THEY SCREAM
Clinton told me he only ever dated black women.
Right. That is a white lady.
Don't be late, don't be short.
Can't wait to get the hell out of this mess.
This is the person that Clinton was working with.
I think this is the person that we've been looking for!
PHONE BUZZES
That's not my phone.
That's Clinton's phone.
Please be here, please be here.
It's here! Hold up. OK.
SHE GAGS
HE SPLUTTERS
OK. All right.
Breathe. "Good to hear from you." What do we say?
I don't know, just start typing.
Type what? I don't know, but quickly!
It's a bit suspicious if it takes too long. OK.
OK, I've got it.
Seriously? You've just typed your own name over and over again.
I don't know. I mean, it's so much pressure!
"Sorry I was out of contact."
Send.
SHE SIGHS
PHONE CHIMES
"Meet me, usual place."
What's... the usual place?
Tell her, "I'm a bit bored of the usual place.
"How about a cheeky KFC in Clacton?" Yeah, that's good.
And I could murder a zinger, so... No, no, no.
She'll know it's not him.
"I've got vouchers, I need to use them."
OK. We need something else.
What are you doing?
I am looking through Clinton's old texts, AKA police work,
you might have heard of it. OK, that's uncalled for,
all right? OK.
"Just got in. See you in 20."
So it's 20 minutes away from Clinton's home.
Shit, I'm good!
OK, a place 20 minutes from his house in London
doesn't really narrow the field.
OK, "Order me a banoffee cronut and a flat white."
It's a caff! Giuseppe's on Mayor St, where he first met us!
As per my previous comments, shit, I'm good! Say it!
Shiitake mushrooms, you're good! Yeah, that'll do, let's go.
Pick up the pace or we'll miss her!
Talk about gentrification.
Who would have thought Giuseppe's would be doing that flat white?
So what you call it - banoffee cronuts? Yeah, bloody hipsters.
What's up? Quick, Google "banoffee cronuts" near me. OK.
The East is East Cafe and Sourdough Bakery.
Home of the banoffee cronut. Shit, it's this one.
It's a half an hour walk.
We've got to meet Kirsty in ten.
Run! That way. Back the way we came, back the way we came! OK.
You've got longer legs than me!
THEY YELL
Move! I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
THEY GASP
Kirsty... Kirst...
Hey, Kirsty! Oh, sorry.
I'll just...
Oh! HE SPLUTTERS
Hi! Ooh!
Do you mind if I just...?
Oh, OK, that's a good shout, actually.
Sorry...
Mm, mm...
Hey!
SHE COUGHS
I realise you were expecting Clinton Blair.
We were working with him, you know...
..on the mission.
I need to sit down.
So, Clinton Blair is dead.
Clinton's dead? Yeah.
So we're just, like, on our own in this thing now.
Yeah, really sad about Clinton. I mean, bloody great guy.
But we're on our own in this thing now, and we want our lives back!
All right. OK.
So you work with him, yeah?
And I'm not quite sure who you think I am, but, you know Clinton
and I, we just went on, like, a few dates?
Oh, you can level with us,
you know, we're his undercover guys.
Should we be saying that we're undercover?
Oh, we're his guys round the way.
I've no idea who you are.
Oh. OK. You do the thing...
Listen, lady, you've got responsibilities,
so I'm going to need you to do whatever it is you do
and get us out of this mess.
It's like I said, Clinton, me, we just went on a few dates.
Dom... could you...? One sec.
Maybe she just went on a few dates with him.
All right, lady, we know what's happening here,
and you're going to have to work with us or we'll talk...
..to the press!
And what exactly are you going to say to them?
Well, it's drug dealing on the Brightmarsh Estate.
So there's drugs, and then police,
and then there's Clinton, dead.
OK. No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.
So you've watched the Line of Duty, yeah? Yeah.
There's a Northern Irish one. That's you. Yeah?
I don't know what that is.
Like I said, Clinton and I, we just,
we went on a few dates.
I'm so sorry.
But, you know, good luck.
Kirsty...? Kirst...?
Ki... Ki...?
So obviously we don't know enough.
You know, this is the big league. She's obviously not going
to help us unless we have leverage,
so we need to find out what's going on and prove it and then be like,
"Bam, bitch, there's your leverage,
"help us out or read about it in the Daily Mail."
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah!
Maybe perhaps worth keeping on the table that she...
..she's just a lady who went on a few dates with him.
No, OK? She's a cop! Of course she's a cop!
I mean, how come she wasn't
so devastated to hear that Clinton was dead?
She got over the news like that!
I don't use these dating apps.
We talk about them in prayer group and I know
they desensitise people.
"Oh, no, my lover is dead! Oh, I know, I'll just get my phone
"and I'll find a replacement by swiping left, right, up and down."
So, then, how come she was so keen to know what we knew?
Ladies like gossip.
Watch me and you, yeah?
She's a cop. I know she's a cop.
She's... definitely a cop.
They're waiting for you, ma'am, when you're ready.
HUBBUB
Good morning. I'll be reading
a short statement in response to this morning's reports
and there'll be no questions.
The body discovered on Walthamstow Marshes on Sunday morning was,
as you know, a serving officer,
Detective Inspector Clinton Blair.
I can confirm this morning
that the DI had been the subject of an internal investigation
at the time of his death by the anti-corruption unit.
REPORTERS CLAMOUR
As this is an ongoing inquiry, we cannot disclose any further
information at this time.
There'll be no further comment until the case is concluded.
Thank you.
Brilliant, ma'am, as ever.
Not now, Dolan!
SHE RETCHES
Edwards is involved somehow, OK?
Maybe the gang are paying her off.
Need evidence.
It's Tevin. What? It's Tevin.
For the love of actual flippin'...
Hey, Tevin, it's always a pleasure.
Thank you.
We can do the Sudoku on our lunch. That's very thoughtful of you.
Read it.
We knew this day would come.
Keep your heads.
At least to understand something here.
No-one's getting nabbed for this.
So don't go flapping.
I don't flap, I'm not a flapper.
If anything, he's the one who flaps. Guilty, I flap. See? He flaps.
Flap, flap, flap away.
Did you know this guy on your PCSOs?
Yeah. No.
Which one is it - yes or no?
Yes, we did know of him.
No, we did not "know him" know him.
Yeah. We didn't go for a drink with him after work
or anything like that. Nah!
I mean, I don't even drink. I might have the occasional shandy
on a bank holiday, but that's about it. That's all I drink, shandy.
Be cool. Keep your heads.
I'll keep it, I'll keep it, like, in a box,
and it'll just be kept there, like my head in a box.
Are you done? Yeah.
Thank you, Tevin. I love your tank top.
Essentially, I think we got away with that.
What does he mean, "No-one's getting nabbed for this"?
Well, because it's Tevin, and he doesn't believe
that actions have consequences.
Maybe cos Edwards is on the payroll.
Erm, Dom...
Photo fit? No.
No, no, no.
I think that's... fine.
Yeah, that's not us.
Anyway, we've got to find out what's going on with Edwards.
OK, how are we going to do that?
We're going to break into her office.
Dom, no! I am a PCSO, OK?
I confiscate alcohol from teenagers.
I write postcodes on bike frames with UV pen.
I do not break into police stations!
We need to find out what's going on,
or we're going to be stuck here on street corners, selling drugs
to randoms and taking orders from that guy
for our short, brutalised lives!
We are breaking in!
How do we even get in?
HE GRUNTS
I normally do 15 of them, but it's my second circuit, so...
Yeah, I just... I wanted to apologise,
you know, if I was a bit weird in the caff the other day.
Just not been myself, I'm just so stressed.
Basically, HR have been arseholes about giving me my P45.
HE GRUNTS
I wish I could just go in there and get it, but...
..guess I can't.
Hey, here's an idea,
totally at random!
I mean, are you still the fire marshal?
No, no. They've found someone who's
more on top of the fire regulations than me.
HE CHUCKLES
Yes, I'm still the fire marshal.
Right. Why don't you set off
the fire alarm and then I can go in and get my P45?
Let me stop you there. There's
a number of problems with that statement.
One, misuse of a fire alarm is a crime, as defined...
All right, don't worry about it. Forget it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm not saying I won't do it,
I'm just saying it'll be my, you know, cock on the block.
Well, that's an image. Thanks.
"What's in it for me," you know?
What?
Well, I'm going indoor rock climbing tonight. You ever done it?
Can't say that I have, no.
I always say it's a bit like making love.
It's great on your own, even better with someone else.
Huh? Oh. Oh, eurgh.
I'd love to go indoor rock climbing with you, Pricey...
Yeah? Great!
OK, well, see you at 2.30 for this fire drill, then.
HE GRUNTS
The fastest I've ever run this drill
was four minutes and 13 seconds.
The slowest is seven minutes, 40 seconds.
That's because Lianne in Forensics' waters broke. Not my fault.
I will not go slower than five minutes. Can't you just push it
this once, though, for us?
No, Dom, these stats are plotted
on a graph that's shared nationally, so... What's this?
Tabard, AKA cloak of invisibility. Wear it.
Once I've done a head count, I will blow this whistle,
letting everyone know they can come back inside.
Listen for this whistle. That's your cue to get the hell out of here,
all right? OK. Let's do this. OK. What, as in right now?
Yes. Now?
Quite a lot of activity on our social media
about the photo fit, ma'am.
Right, good. No, not so much.
A number of people saying it looks quite a bit like the musicians
Missy Elliott and Tupac Shakur.
Right, well, have you brought them in?
They're American, ma'am.
And the latter's been dead for some decades.
Maybe pull the photo fit?
ALARM SOUNDS
SHE SIGHS
Oh, Christ. Today of all days. Come on.
Please muster in the lower forecourt area.
This is a drill. Thank you. Maybe it's not a drill.
Maybe this is a very important situation.
We're in her office. We're in the superintendent's office.
We've broken into the superintendent's office.
Just get on with it!
What are you doing? Taking pictures.
No, of evidence! Of things that could connect
us to the Brightmarsh Gang, not Nik Naks!
But we don't know what is and what isn't evidence!
I mean, this could be evidence!
Or this could be evidence.
You know, a diary with numbers and dates and shit, all right?
OK, hold up. Don't take pictures of this!
I'm taking pictures of this, you take pictures of something else,
but not of Nik Naks, and stop picking up shit.
You don't know how it goes back!
I do, because I took pictures of them!
OK, everybody back inside. Come on, we've got work to do.
Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry.
Go on! Sh!
Shit! My God, you idiot!
Don't spread it around, don't spread it around.
I will kill you where you stand!
Right, if I touch you on the shoulder, congratulations,
that means you just died of smoke inhalation.
You're dead. Dead.
Meet me in the canteen. I just need to grab a file.
Yes, ma'am.
Oh, God! Oh!
Hello, madam!
Sorry! I don't know who made this mess.
I'm just coming back with a broom.
This sounds like a job for carpet cleaner!
Told you, cloak of invisibility.
Hello, sir.
Oh, hello, madam, any charge, any charge? Dead.
Nailed it!
Hey, look at this. Emma's diary says, "6pm today, CH."
What does "CH" stand for?
Criminal hijinks?
Yeah. Or this one straight after just says, "Park bench."
Who the hell writes "Park bench" in their diary?
Shifty meetings always happen on park benches.
Oh, my God, you are so right.
What if she's meeting a gang contact
with, like, a brown envelope stuffed full of money?
After work, we are following Edwards.
Team Day on the case.
I'm sorry, what?
Day - Dom and Kay.
Nah, we're not doing that.
OK, Team Kom?
Ah, no... I'm going to have to pray for you.
Right, I've got binoculars, I've got crisps, I have a flask of hot
chocolate and I have mini marshmallows.
Hey, this is a stakeout, it's not a sleepover for your tenth birthday.
OK, so shall I leave the snacks, then?
No, you've brought them now, so...
I see you've got banoffee cronuts there.
You didn't mention those, did you?
That could have been really bad!
You could have totally messed up... Oh, get in the car!
Look, she's coming out. Oh. She's coming out.
Argh!
Damn it!
She's turning.
That must be what "CH" stands for.
I'm all right, thanks, over here. Yeah, she's all right.
She's got out the car,
she's talking to some of the residents.
Feel much better for seeing your daughter, eh?
Oh, it's her mum!
Yes, Columbo.
So where were we? Bathrooms
I will get gold fixtures, but not, like, tacky gold, like, mid-century
shit to offset the pink tiles, but not, like, pink
like, dusky salmon with a hint of thin gold grout.
What about you?
I don't know. It'd be, like,
probably a nice semi, one that you can hoover
in an afternoon, preferably next to a bus stop.
This is your dream house, Kay!
Yeah, I know.
Keep reaching for that rainbow.
Oh, she's heading over.
She's getting back in the car, she's getting back in the car!
Shit, she's parking! OK, go in front of her, go in front of her.
She's going to see you, She's going to see you!
Oh, my God! My goodness!
OK, I'm parking up here, I'm going to park here.
I'm going to just park here.
Well done for going in front. Just be cool.
You know, not suspicious at all.
That's brilliant.
Oh, she's coming out of her car.
She's coming towards us. She's coming towards us.
Oh, shit! She's coming towards us.
Stop talking and narrating the whole thing!
Shut up. Shit!
Are you aware you've got a brake light out?
Erm, no, I was not aware, Officer.
Sorry. Right, well, it's illegal to drive without both brake lights.
You need to get that corrected at the earliest opportunity, right?
Mm-hm. OK, yep. Right, I will do that right
before I go home to my scratcher.
Yeah, och, aye! Just making noises! I'm sorry.
Bloody Julie, not checking the brake lights? She knows that drives them
mad in this thing!
PHONE BEEPS Oh, God! OK.
Oh, my God, I'm supposed to meet Pricey for indoor climbing.
He's just going to have to wait an hour or two.
That's pretty standard, right? I mean, who the hell sends
a calendar invite to a date, anyway? Someone who holds it against you
if you're two hours late? Right, you're going to have
to deal with this on your own. All right, what do I do?
Just, you know, take pictures of whoever she meets,
and try and listen to what they say, but stay out of sight.
OK. All right. I won't let you down, Dom, I won't do it.
It's not possible. OK?
Enjoy your date. It's not a date, I won't enjoy it.
Get out! Quicker!
You do look nice.
Thank you. God! Stay out of sight!
Ali! Come on, Ali, reach for it!
You're never going to get that tomorrow.
Oh! Hey, Pricey, sorry I'm a little late.
Hello?
There'll be no climbing today, Dom.
Or scaling, or grappling.
Oh, why?
I need you to explain this to me.
Oh. LAUGHS: Well, that is clearly a picture of Missy Elliott and Tupac.
That's what that is.
I think it's a picture of you and Kay, Dom.
What? No!
OK. That's... no! if you think this is a picture of me and Kay,
then that's offensive.
Oh, yeah? Well, how many other people were wandering around
Walthamstow Marshes last Saturday night dressed in a onesie
covered in spaceships? Spaceships are popular now.
I'm going to ask you a straight question, Dom.
Did you murder, or were you involved in the murder
of DI Clinton Blair? No!
Come on, how long have we worked together?
Do you seriously think I could do something like that?
Well, I wouldn't blame you if you did. The guy was bent.
Bringing the force into disrepute.
He had it coming. What do you mean, "Bent"?
It was all over the station, he was bent as a £9 note.
They'd been investigating him for months.
Who? The police. He's up to all sorts.
Stealing drugs from evidence, extortion, money laundering.
Rumour is he got bumped off by a gang cos he tried
to take them over.
Here's the thing. This mission, it doesn't exist.
You all right, Dom? Yeah.
I got... I got to go.
Dom? Dom?
What happened at the park bench, who did she meet?
Yeah, so the park bench just turned
out to be a ceremony about a park bench.
APPLAUSE Right.
Well, he was bent. Who?
Clinton. Pricey just told me he was trying to take over
the Brightmarsh Gang. The police had been investigating him for months.
What? That's why he wanted us to infiltrate them,
because he was trying to take them over. It wasn't for some
investigation, he was using us.
What about the dossier? Why was he hiding it in his house?
He was hiding evidence. He didn't want the gang
he was about to take over shut down by the police.
But why was Edwards looking for it?
Because she's the fricking police!
It's done!
We're done. Bye, Elder Bunmi.
What's that about the police?
No, no, no. She was just talking about the Police. You know,
the band Police. You know, the one with Sting?
With Sting.
TYRES SCREECH
You'll be told what you need to know when you need to know it.
But you're clever, you're good, you're police.
Bastard!
Where've you been? Oh, not now, Dad, seriously.
Yes, now. Julie's been without her car all day,
and she missed her Bikram.
Well, I mean, I was a bit tired anyways.
Oh, my God, I left a note.
You don't leave a note, you ask permission! It would have
been good to know when you were going to bring it back.
Here we go. Pile-on Julie, you're just loving this, aren't you?
You're always making a drama of every little thing.
No wonder his heart is failing. If he dies in surgery,
it'll probably be your fault!
Dom. Right, we've decided it's time you stood on your own two feet.
Are you chucking me out? No, we're not chucking you out.
You're chucking me out? Look, Dom, we'll talk about this tomorrow.
No, never mind tomorrow. You're chucking me out,
I'll go now. I'll leave! I'm not staying where I'm not wanted!
Dom... And this jam is mine.
Go! Dom!
I need somewhere to stay.
You want to have sex in my house?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, she's just a friend.
She's only staying for a few nights.
Galatians 5:14. "For the whole law is fulfilled
"in one word, you shall love your neighbour as yourself."
Her grandmother is from Lagos.
She can sleep in the living room, and no talking between
10pm and 7am.
Thank you, Ma. Thank you. Thank you.
Dom? I made...
Listen, Breeze, we can't run any more through the laundrettes,
we need another cash business.
This week alone, I've done 11,000.
All right, Tevin?
We got a problem.