Oh, hello.
Let me catch you upwith what happened
previously on Blindspotting.
Bitch!
Earl!
I got you a presentfor keeping bugs in.
Is your girlfriend
cheating on youwith her new boyfriend?
Are you gonna tell Jacque
you're in love with her?
Don't let nobodysteal your joy.
I need to break them up.
I may have told Cuddiesome disastrous costume advice.
You a pirate, Pare.We kill pirates!
I say this with love,
but y'all are hella stubbornas a family.
You are not my sister.
Let's make that 1,000% clear.
You are my brother'sfucking luggage
that he dropped off here.
Mustafa.
I want you to come backto Bali, be my wife again.
What the fuck is that?
It's a Thizzly bear.
And his dad made itfor him in prison.
Oh, Trish,you stole these for me?
-Do those say Oakland?-Yeah.
-Ooh, I like these.-Thank you.
Fuck, it feels so goodto be out
doing some normal ass shit,girl.
Can I buy you a drink?
You think I didn'tsee you in there
kissing that pale-ass nigga?
Looks like you lost an earring.
Oh, no, no, no, no!
This can't be happening.
Oh, this is bad.
We're at a full-scalered alert!
The mantises are loose!
Oh, what are wegonna do, Thizzly?
What are we gonna do?
Mom's gonna kill me.
Oh.
What the fuck is that?
- Bugs!- Bugs everywhere!
Shoot 'em!
Where are you guys?
Oh, shit!
It's on your face!
What is this, Bug's Life?
Hey, what the hellis Meatfest, anyway?
So Miles' daddy wasa two-timing vegan.
And to commemoratecutting his ass off...
Right.
Rainey startedMeatfest, a'ight?
Not a vegetable in the crib.
I'm talking meat only.
You feel me? You dig?
Anyway, that annual tradition
has been going on for...27 years?
Yo, this is a lot of meat.
- Help me out here.- Ow! Fuck.
Yo, who's is this?
Oh, shit. Oh, oh! Ooh!
Wait, she's coming!
Oh, hold up.
Hey, y'all, who knowwhere this earring is from?
- What?- I don't know.
Who cares?
Oh, this sexy-ass girlI hooked up with
last week at Luka's.
Ooh, did you hit that?
Fuck yeah, I did.
Bug queen!
Hey, hey, what she look like?
Fall back. Fall back.
She's powering upher scorpion tail!
Light-skinned Black girl,
big curly hair, big booty.
She has a-a rose tattooon her shoulder.
She told me her name,but I was hella lit.
Uh, Amber? Anika? Alexis?
Ashley. Her name is Ashley.
Fuck!
Game over.
- Hey.- Hi, Rainey.
What's that for?
In this house, Trish issurrounded by white people
because of Miles and me.
So for the holidays,we decided to cap
the amount of white peopleallowed at Meatfest.
This year, we're down to six.
I gotta do more to reducethe white footprint.
You do know you're white.
I already clicked one for me.
You better click onefor Darrell.
He's coming, right?
Yeah, but he's not white.
He's Chilean-something.
I'm not datinganother white guy,
and I'm not going double whitein this neighbourhood.
He looks white to me.
Why do you thinkI call him White Darrell?
'Cause he's not Black.
I am not that reductive.
Wait, wait, Rainey,you're dating someone new
and keeping ita secret from us?
I've had, like, two dateswith the guy.
Well, if he looks white,he reaps all the benefits
of being white, so guess what.
He's white.
And that's a fair point.
He's not white like me-white.
Well, show us a picture.
I can't because my phoneis in the Be Present basket.
No phones till after dinner.
Did y'all drop your phonesin that basket?
-Oh, yeah, yeah.-All right, keep it simple.
Does he go to Blondie'sor Fat Slice for pizza?
And don't think. Just answer.
-I think Fat Slice.-He's Black.
No, he's just notBlondie's white.
And Asians go to Blondie's.
Don't be grouping uswith white people.
Yellow Perilsupports Black Power.
Well, bring the Asiansto Fat Slice.
No, go to Graffiti Pizza.A Black woman owns that.
Don't be groupingall us Asians together.
-I'm Taiwanese.-Yeah.
Not to be mistakenfor mainland China.
I know, babe.
Does Darrell use a washcloth
- or a naked bar of soap?- I don't know.
I haven't showeredwith him yet.
- Oh.- Okay.
Ashley!
Oh, fuck.No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
- Mommy! Mommy--- No! Shh, shh.
Shut up. Shut up.
Let me go, you bitch!
Okay! Okay, okay, okay.
Listen to me.It's not what you think.
You fucking ho-ass, trick-ass--
No, no, no, no, no.It was nothing.
Just let me explain.
Bitch, you cheatedon my brother
while he is in prison.
You his wife, Ash!
Ooh, I cannot waitto tell everyone.
-You are fucking done.-I-I-I just--
Hey, what up, y'all?
Spice King and his thang.
What's good with y'all?
Hope you gotthem hot wings.
Oh, look, baby,No Phones Be Present.
- You dig this?- I love it.
Earl, I'm so glad you're here.
There's a code red emergency.I need your help.
Trish is here already?
I have no idea.But the bug terrarium broke.
What?
I used my mom's Amazonto buy praying mantis eggs,
and then they all hatched.
And then they escaped.
Oh, shit.
Meet me in my room.
You can bring your friend.
It's not--she has so much going on--
What are you waiting for?Come on.
Okay, I gotta putthis meat in--
Hey, what up, E?
Hey, hey, man, what's up?
No, I said,"Why are they bugging me?"
We didn't say nothingabout no bugs.
Trish, I'ma need youjust to be quiet, okay?
And I need youto keep it between us.
Oh, do you?
Well, Earl knows
because your side meat ishis fucking roommate!
Now I'm 'bout to tell my mama.
He is not my fucking side meat!Fuck!
I just-I just need you
to give me a chanceto figure it out, okay?
I am begging you.
Fuck you, Ashley.
We trusted you.
Ma!
Fucking Christ.Just--fine! Fine.
But if you tell her,I will tell Jacque
that you are in love with herand that you tried
to sabotage Cuddie.
Wow.
Wow! Okay.
Just leave it aloneuntil after Meatfest, okay?
And I will tell Rainey myself.
Trish, you're on duty.
You know what to do.White cap is six.
We're at three now,including me.
Is everything all right?
Yeah, just hungryfor that meat.
Ain't that the truth.
Fuck you,you lumberjack-looking bitch.
Fuck you.
Dumbass fucking bitch.
How could they allhave escaped?
I'm seven.
Okay, how many mantisesare we talking about here?
At least ten.
But they kept on hatching,so could be more.
My God, a whole congregationof mantises.
Okay, Sean, we got you.
I'm off to checkon Sean.
This is our secret.
Baby boy.
Oh, shit, what the--
oh.
Hi, Earl.
- You must be June.- Mm-hmm.
I'm Janelle.It's nice to meet you.
It's nice to meet you.
- No Mustafa?- Uh, no.
He had to go back to Balito take care of his daughter.
-My fiancé.-Oh, fiancé, not divorcée?
She said fiancé.
- Future fiancé.- Okay, fiancé.
We're just excitedto meet your...
Future fiancé.
Stop saying fiancé!
Sean's bugs got loose.Now his ass is on the line.
- Earl!- Oh!
You told!
Yeah, but we needall the help we can get.
I don't know what the hellyou got bugs for, anyway.
Ashley ain't neverheard of a dog?
Just find them before Mom sees.
And boom.
-Oh.-Oh, nice.
-Now that's good---Pace yourself.
Just remember to save roomfor the pig.
But he wanted meto move to Nice,
and I saidthat's out of the question.
Oh, my goodness.
- Oh, hey Miss Tammy.- Hey, baby.
Oh, a teardrop earringlooks good on you, honey.
Thank you, sugar!
Oh, there you are.
Oh, God, you look like shit.
Oh, okay, uh...
okay, what is wrong?
Uh, excuse me!
-I messed up, okay?-Okay.
Last week, I went to a barand we had drinks
and there wasmusic and dancing,
and then I kissed someone.
And it doesn't--it doesn't mean anything.
But--but Trish found out,
and now she wantsto tell Rainey.
Look, don't worry.
I kissed two guystoday already.
It's the holidays.
-That's not the same!-Mm.
Yo, I don't know what thisshit will do to my family.
But I have to dowhat's right, right?
Oh God, my heart.
Who's gonna be couple goalsfor Cuddie and me now,
Steph and Ayesha?
Girl, you know I can't cook.
How are you making thisabout Cuddie right now?
I mean, they werekind of goals, you know?
Does she have any proof?
Yes, she hasone of my earrings.
So what?
So she has oneand you have one.
They cancel each other out,
like that time I hada threesome with my ex.
Okay, this-this-this isn't helping.
Wake up, bitch.
It's your word against hers.
And let's face it,she is a lot,
like Kirstie Alley on Twitter.
- Have you followed that bitch?- No.
Honey, she has losther damn mind.
She's always loungingin her pyjamas.
Okay, so, um, what- what doI say, that- that she's lying?
I should just tell, right?
It's my word against hers.
I don't thinkthat's gonna be enough.
Who else knows?
Earl knows!
Well, what are you doingtalking to me?
You need to go make surehe shuts his trap.
Yeah, you- you're right.Here.
-Oh.-Here, here, here.
Find Earl. Find Earl. Oh--
And find wine.Find wine. Find wine.
Rainey, my angel.
Oh, I hate that bitchso fucking much!
Can I get some more wine?
I have wine.
Get your own damn plate, Trish!
All right, Earl, where you at?
Earl.
Fuck you.
Trish? I'm Leah.
Sean goes to schoolwith my son.
Ooh, that's four.
You lucky you here early.
A- actually, can you help?
I have another tray in my car.
Ugh, this--this is why there's a cap.
Where's your car at,Miss Daisy?
It's right out front, yeah.
Okay.
Oh, wait. Wait.
Don't move. Don't move.Don't move.
Okay, just-just follow meright in here.
Oh.
- Earl.- Oh!
I know you know, Earl.
And just when you thinkyou have things under control,
boom, this happens.
Things happen.
And I know you know.
And now you knowI know you know.
I don't know anything.
I know who your roommate is.
-Oh!-I fucked up.
But it's notwhat you think it is,
so I'ma need you to keep itto yourself for a day.
No worries. I'm- I'm a vault.
They call me voûte suisse.
Okay?
It's French for Swiss vault.
Okay, well,this is English for "Shh!"
-Please.-Okay.
-S'il vous plaît.-Okay.
All right.
Oh, baby, my sweet.
We almost got caught. Oh.
You're cute,like a little alien.
- Earl.- Oh! Oh!
Gotta get out this hallway.
I need you to come help metell my mom about Ashley now,
'cause a nigga needs a witness.
What? No.This is between you two.
Did Ashley get to you?
Are you really on her sidewith this bullshit?
No, I'm not on any sideof anything.
I'm-I'm Switzerland.
Nigga, fuck Switzerland.
Look, all I know is hearsay.
Okay, I heard nothing.I know nothing.
I saw a earring.I seen so many earrings.
You have earrings on right now.
Why the fuckyou covering up your cup for?
You thinkI'ma fucking poison you?
This just how I--a drinkthat I've been drinking
that is a drink...that I drink.
It's good etiquette at a partyto cover your drink.
Silence is violence, Earl.
Silence is violence.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Yeah.
You- you talkin' and you beingvi--
Silence ismotherfuckin' violence.
Oh, okay.
Yep, just in the hallwaydrinking.
June, talk to him. Talk to him.
Wow, where did you get thoselittle-little micro links?
Well, you know what?Enjoy that.
-Ah! Okay.-Here you go.
Where'd you meet this guy?
Gilroy Garlic Festival.
White as cocaine.
Hey, I go there every year.
They got one hell of a sorbet.Garlic Sherb.
Ooh, does he check outthem thick-ass mannequins
at Eastmont Mall?
I don't know.Should I take him?
Has he beento Sweet Jimmy's yet?
Now, that's a dead giveaway.
Does he know any of thosecommercials off of Soul Beat?
Ask him if he knowswhat a chitloaf is.
You ask him when he gets here.
How am I supposed to knowall this off two dates?
It's a loaf of chitlins.
Tried to get that commercialout of my mind,
but I can't,even after all this time.
-Mm-mm.-Shoot, Darrell's late.
He's supposed to bring ice.
Ooh.
Not to bat against my own team,but the brother is late.
I didn't sayhe was Black.
I said I really,really, really, really
don't think he's white.
- Oh, he white.- Mm-hmm.
As soy milk.
As the Ultimate Frisbee team.
St. Patrick's Day parade.
As a ayahuasca trip to Bali.
Shit, rice.
The Olsen twins.
You've got this.It's okay.
Come on, Petunia.
Come on. Come on.
It's okay. You can trust me.Come on.
Let's get youin your little home.
There you go.
Locked and loaded.
We did it, Thizzly.Just a few more to go.
Whoo! I'm the mantis king!
♪ Sitting in the dark ♪
Nancy! Nancy. Nance.
I have a situation.
Oh, Lord. What now?
Ashley may have
stepped out on Mileswith my roommate.
Now, she says it was nothing,and I believe her.
But who cares what I believe'cause Trish found out
and went crazy and saysshe wanna go to Rainey with it.
Ashley's asked menot to say anything,
but Trish isn't having it.
They both coming for me.
And I keep saying,"Hey, I'm Swiss!
Like good cheeseand chocolate."
And I got a lot of thingsthat I'm juggling
I'm not even telling--oh!
I felt that on the other side.
I can't believe you're puttingall this on my plate
when I got all thison my plate.
I'll handle it. Don't do shit.
What the fuck?
She-she couldn'thear me, right?
Ah, I was usingmy whisper voice.
Get your ass in there.
Ow! Ow!
Bitch, are you serious?You cheated on Miles?
Who told you that?
Earl told my mama.
How the fuck you gon'tell him before you tell me?
Oh, fuck, it's spreading.
First of all, it meant nothing.
And I didn't tell anyone.He found out.
Fuck.
Ash, you know I get it, okay?
But you gon' haveto tell Rainey
before anybody else does.
Tell her I kissed another manat fucking Meatfest,
the very festivalshe created to spite
a man who cheated on her?
Oh, yeah,Rainey don't play that.
Mm.
Occupied!
Okay, take your time.
I'll go upstairs.
Mommy, Mommy,do you have a second?
Yes, baby. What is it?
Mom, I needto tell you some real--
Trish, can I talkto you for a second?
-Okay, wait, wait, one sec.-I'll be right back.
-I just have to pee.-Mom.
You keep that Ashley shitto yourself.
Don't tell your mamaor anybody else.
Why?
Everybody deserves to knowwhat a scammer Ashley is.
Whatever happened to all thatride or die loyalty bullshit
she be talking about?
I understandwhere you coming from.
But be honest with yourself.
Are you trying to help Milesor just hurt Ashley?
Hmm? What are you up to?
Hey, Janelle.
Girl, shut the fuck up.We're on a mission.
Go, go, go, hurry up, hurry up.
Hi, Trish.
Hey, girl.
I brought bone broth.
Great.
Okay, that's five whites.
One spot to go.
Bone broth.
Now, see,if my Mustafa was here,
he would have capturedall of these
in under 30 seconds flat.
Did I mention his judo skills?
Not in the last five minutes.
When do we get to meetthe magical Mustafa, anyway?
Well, maybe you cancome visit us.
Oh, yes, I love Bali.
You're moving back to Baliwith Prince Charming?
Shh! Shh! Dang, Earl.
It's still a secret, a'ight?
I ain't told Ash yet.
Okay, but now the vaultis closed.
No more secrets.
-All right.-Okay.
Man, this little critterreally like you.
Make way! Make way.
Wonderful.
That's a pig pig, ain't it?
Talk about high on the hog.
You know,it's a saying for a reason.
Speech, my lady, speech.
Oh! Oh! Speech!
This Meatfest could not havecome at a better time.
I needed this so badly.
I'm so glad to haveall of you in our home.
Aww.
Ah, perfect timing.
Everybody, this is Darrell.
I did not knowwhat to wear to Meatfest,
from the shoes and my fitall the way up to the do.
I was just--so I'm so sorry I'm late.
I didn't knowwhat to do with my dog
because he getsseparation anxiety.
Hmm.
But you would love him.
Chauncey isthe world's sweetest pit.
Luckily, my cousin Meredith,she came over to sit with him.
But then driving over here,I got pulled over.
Thank goodness I knew the cop.
'Cause he pulled me overlast week.
- Ah!- So I pulled out
my "friends and familyof a cop" badge again,
and he let me go.
It works every time.
Okay, we have reachedaudacity of the Caucacity
in the white capacity, y'all.
Yes.
-That's a shame.-Yeah.
I know that dude,White Darrell.
That nigga hella Mexican.
All right, all right,where was I?
Well, you all have been therefor me when I needed you.
And more than that,you've been there
when I've shut my blindsand tried to hide.
When I was too proudor scared to ask,
you have always beena constant support.
And I can trust youto be honest with me,
even when the truth hurts.
And that, my friends,is loyalty.
You are my chosen family.
Aww.
- To Meatfest!- To Meatfest!
All right, now wheredo we start with this?
-You okay?-I'm far from okay.
Mm-mm-mm.
Always the thirsty bitch.
Lap it up, poor baby dumb-dumb.
Trish, just back the fuck off.
Oh.Oh, no, no, don't talk to me.
Talk to the judgein divorce court.
Now's not the time.
Y'all need to get your assesback in there.
Ooh, I should reallywhoop your ass
right herein front of everybody.
Calm down, Trish.
Don't fucking tell meto calm down!
- Excuse me?- Hey!
Oh, why is everyone in here?
Is it something I said?
Earl.
Don't look at me.
I'm-I'm Switzerland.
Oh. Huh?
You?
Earl? Janelle? Nancy? No?
None of y'all, hmm?
Okay, you know what? Fuck it.
I cannot do this shit anymore.
No more secrets.
Mommy,
Ashley done fucked aroundon Miles,
and everybody here knowsbut you.
Jacque, I am in love with you.
And I triedto break you and Cuddie up
by telling P-Lo to tell himto wear a pirate costume.
Sabotage.
Uh, I have some good news.
Um, I'm moving back to Bali.
Hold on. What?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,wait, wait.
Go back.
Ashley, that's not true, is it?
I don't--um...
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.There's um... no excuse.
Rainey, I just miss himso much.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I-I just wanteda bit of normal again.
I've just been havinga really hard time.
And it's notanyone else's problem,
so I just stuff it down.
But it's gotten worse,
and I- I don't feellike myself anymore.
I just--I got drunk,
and some guy was beingreally nice to me,
and... it was so stupid.
And I'll tell Miles myself.
Just- just please, at leastlet me tell him myself.
Well, you just did.
Oh, shit.
My brother donebroke out of jail.
I tried to call.
But there's no phonesat Meatfest, so...
Come on, Thizzly.We did it.
We got the praying mantises!
Dad!
I missed you.
Fuck.
We are at white capacity.
Darrell, I willmake you a plate,
but you gotta go.
Okay.
Shit, I'ma namethis shit "Onna Gang," nigga,
'cause, nigga,everything I'm saying, nigga,
that's on gang, nigga.
♪ Just cause you gotYa ass a gun ♪
♪ That don't make youA gangster ♪
♪ Ol' badass lil boyI'll give you a spanking ♪
♪ I know some niggasWant me dead ♪
♪ I be keeping 'em patient ♪
♪ Keep taking picturesWith all them hammers ♪
♪ Ain't beating no cases ♪
♪ Load the clips upWith gloves ♪
♪ I ain't leaving no traces ♪
♪ I'll leave up out this Earthbefore leaving a statement ♪
♪ Fuck with usYeah, just know ♪
♪ That you beefingWith Haitians ♪
♪ We ride around with baby K'sOn a special occasion ♪
♪ Li'l bitch, I'm a dogBut a lion at heart ♪
♪ You know that shitGon' come to light ♪
♪ You can't hide in the dark ♪
♪ And you can't get upIn this whip ♪
♪ Catch you riding a bar ♪
♪ And you don't meanShit you tweet ♪
♪ But be typing it hard ♪
♪ And every time I hit a bitchIt be from behind ♪
♪ When they had meIn that cell ♪
♪ I was beefing with time ♪
♪ Nah, nigga, I don't rapI'm just speaking my mind ♪
♪ DaBoii for president, bitchI'm freeing the guys ♪
♪ Keep on talkingOut your neck ♪
♪ That shit funny as fuck ♪
♪ I'm finna pull upOn your sister ♪
♪ And bust me a nut ♪
♪ I'm not familiarWith no manners ♪
♪ Or no home training ♪