Yep, that's me.
Teenage boy, stood on a bridge,
smokin' the drugs.
Am I a cliché?
Tough crowd.
Okay, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt. Where could the yogurt be?
For fuck's sake, Rick.
- Here you go. - Oh.
Get ready for the freak-out.
Put some meat on your bones.
- Gran, Mia won't want butter. - It's fine.
Don't worry, Alex. I've got it covered.
- No need to tell on me. - I wasn't going to.
You weren't what? Covering up our parents' secret divorce?
Okay, so...
I've put an extra yogurt in there, in case you get peckish.
Dad said you liked strawberry.
Uh, Mia!
When did you become such a stranger?
When did I lose my best friend?
No. No, no, Rachel McAdams movies are not a genre.
Um, sacrilege.
Okay, you know what? Fine, pick whatever.
Which do you want to start before swaps?
No, I'm good, actually.
Are you sure?
I can't be held responsible for my actions once I reach that
gooey caramel goodness in the middle. Mmm.
Yeah, I had a big dinner.
Suit yourself.
Are you okay?
Yeah, of course.
Why do you ask?
Now, don't forget, I'm picking you up later.
We've got our appointment with Dr. Nell.
Yes, I haven't forgotten.
This session is really important. He wants us to think about how...
How all of this has affected us individually and as a family.
I know, Mum.
Yep, of course you do.
Sorry.
I'm so glad I can always rely on you.
Who the fuck moved my fucking shoes?
Coming!
Hey.
Are we okay?
Look, I know I've been a total prick,
and I'll keep apologizing until we're 32, but...
I really am sorry.
I know.
I know everyone tries to save their best bits for the outside world,
but sometimes, Mia, you're like a whole other person.
- I'll give that to you. - I know. I am.
And I don't know how you put it on so easily.
One minute, you're a total prick, and the next is all sweetness and smiles.
Gorgeous.
And do you even realize how lucky you are to have friends like yours?
Like Becca.
Aside from being maybe the fittest person I've ever seen,
Becca is always just so good.
And so fucking fit.
Cameron pretty much kept me going while you were away.
He was the older sibling I needed you to be. And he was good at it.
And even when you've pissed him off,
Will just always wants everyone to have a good time.
And Alison is...
apparently, your new girlfriend.
So what are we doing later? Anything on the list?
Ooh. The list, the list, defer to the list.
I'm on it. I'm deferring.
What list?
Did you hear that, Polanco? George's mum sews his name into his boxers.
Not just mine. She does it to hers too.
Say something funny, twat.
How do you know?
Been sniffing your mum's knickers again, have we?
Nailed it. Twat.
Obviously not.
- Prick. - Don't cry about it, burger nips.
- Leave it out. - I'm seeing her today anyway.
'Course you are. Yeah.
Issy Huckin, the face behind every erection in maths since Year 8,
smiling at you.
Stop staring, then, you freak.
Some of you might be disappointed,
but that's what past papers are for.
Practice. This was the time to make mistakes.
And some of you have actually done rather well.
Oi, Polanco. Who you texting?
Your mum.
Ah, yes. "Your mum" jokes.
Super mature. Famously very impressive to girls.
Alex!
Sorry, sorry.
I said you should be very proud of yourself.
You and Issy,
only perfect scores in the year.
Prick.
Scrolling through her pictures instead of just talking to her.
What are you? A fucking incel?
Intelligent, though.
Like, an intelligent incel.
Sorry, um...
Thanks, Mum. Miss!
Miss.
An intelligent, Mummy's-boy incel.
Anyone who chooses to do maths at A-level
isn't right in the head.
Yeah.
- What was that exactly? - You'd be fine, though.
You are an overachiever who is sickeningly good at everything.
Um...
No, I mean...
It's... it's not...
I can't...
Form a fucking sentence to talk to you, apparently.
Fuck maths, though. I want to write.
Maybe journalism.
Or something unstable to piss off my dad.
- Yeah? - Yeah, you know.
Sack off uni, do Love Island, steal the prize money. That kind of vibe.
Yeah, that'll... that'll do it.
I think I'm gonna apply for that internship Miss Hossain mentioned, though.
Try being a corporate pig for a bit.
Are you?
What internship?
At Parker Newtown.
The firm in Bristol.
It's fully paid and they put you up for the eight weeks.
Oh, yeah. Um...
No, I... I don't think so.
How come? They only invited a couple of us to apply.
I bet your parents were buzzing.
They're slightly preoccupied with their horrible divorce
and my black hole of a sister.
We've, um...
We've got a lot on.
Right. Of course.
Do you have a free period?
Do I have a period?
Yeah, yeah, yes.
Um...
Yeah, a free period, you know, not a...
I don't have a... the menstrual cycle.
Kill yourself.
Sorry, no. I...
I think I have English, actually. But we could...
Yo, bro. What's good?
Your timing, apparently.
Yeah.
I'll see you later.
Hm.
Fucking menstrual cycle.
Why don't you take a menstrual cycle off a cliff?
Me and Carli were talking about shrooms at some point.
Shrooms? Like the drugs?
Yeah, darling. Like the drugs.
I'm not sure I need to be hallucinating anytime soon.
Well, maybe, but they do help you drift off, you know,
help you forget your troubles and all that.
Hm, troubles, you say. Well, I have one or two, so count me in.
- Hey! - I'll call my dealer.
All right. Laters, plebs.
Are you okay?
Yeah, just... just a second.
Are you still bleeding?
Just a little.
I can't believe I didn't...
Honestly, it's fine.
It's fine.
Mum was great. I wasn't alone.
I know, I just...
wish I could have been there for you.
Hm?
Come on.
I'm sorry, what?
Issy Huckin is...
...messaging me.
And not even in a "do you have the biology homework?" kind of way.
But in a casual, making jokes,
borderline flirty way.
In a "did she just ask me on a date" way?
A few messages from you and I'm full of butterflies.
I'm pathetic.
Am I a simp? Is this simp-ish behavior? Do people even still say "simp"?
I don't know. I don't even care. I'll be your simp, Issy Huckin.
And you...
...have sent a tit pic. Holy fucking shit.
"Thank you"? You fucking twat. Um...
I don't know when I expected to exchange nudes for the first time,
but I didn't think it would happen while shitting out last night's chili
in the English block toilets.
As far as risky wanks go,
this one, this is pushing it.
Fuck. No. No, no, no, no.
Go away. Go away. Go away.
♪ One, two, three, four ♪
♪ Get up, get on up... ♪
Shit.
♪ Get up, get on up Stay on the scene ♪
♪ Get on up Get up, get on up... ♪
Sorry. Bloody door.
You're disgusting.
You're a sex machine. You're a disgusting sex machine.
♪ Stay on the scene, like a sex machine ♪
♪ You got to have the feeling Sure as you're born ♪
♪ Get it together, right on, right on ♪
♪ Get up, get on up ♪
You all right, twinkle toes?
Who spunked in your cereal, eh?
Well, luckily, you're talking to an expert.
I'm serious, all right. I'm a girl guru.
A woman whisperer, right? If pulling birds was an Olympic sport,
I'm Tom "breaking diving records on the" Daley. Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, but Tom Daley is married to a man, so...
Whatever. What I'm trying to say is, right, you don't want to wait too long.
Or she'll be the one that got away.
Thanks, Cam.
Yeah.
Hey. Shrooms are sorted for later. I'm going to go pick up from Juice.
- Who on God's green earth is Juice? - He's my dealer.
- What kind of name is that? - He's actually a very dangerous man.
What's he selling, Ribena?
Hilarious.
And are you sure about this, Mia?
Yeah, I'm sure. It's on the list. Got to do it sometime.
- What's this list you keep talking about? - What if you freak out?
And relive that time your cat ate a wasp and died?
Hmm. Well, unlike Albert, God rest his soul, I will live.
Babe, what about your parents?
Guess there's only one parent to worry about now that Dad's left.
What?
Great.
Wait, is that true?
Rick and Viv have split up?
No.
Well, yeah. But it's fine.
And you didn't tell me?
What the hell, M?
Why didn't you say anything?
Can we just move on, please?
Mia, this is, like, huge.
Are you okay?
I'm fine. It's... it's not...
You happy?
Sorry, I didn't...
It was just a joke.
Maybe next time you should just keep your mouth shut.
'Cause that worked out so well last time.
And the palette was all wrong. They hadn't worked to the spec at all.
And the budget's gone completely out the window.
I hope you told them where to stick it.
I did.
I said I can't work like this. Fix it or go elsewhere.
That's my girl.
You're not going to finish that?
I've got to finish my coursework for tomorrow.
Okay, love.
Thanks, Dad.
Smell ya later.
Alex!
Sorry, might be a while.
Bathroom's free.
I just assumed you guys knew about our parents.
Nah, she didn't mention anything.
Shit.
- You know, I didn't mean to... - Hey. Don't stress. It's all right.
Mia's just going through it.
Are you good, though, yeah?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm good.
All right.
Oi, Cameron!
- Catch you in a bit. - Yeah, in a bit, man.
You alright, babes?
Polanco!
- What? - All right, Polanco?
- What is it? - We got a surprise for you.
- Just a little thing. - Let me see.
Nice cock, mate.
- So embarrassing. - The fuck?
I can't believe you thought Issy Huckin was sending you nudes.
But the picture?
Yeah, Google Images, mate.
Please, fuck, no, this can't be happening.
I can't believe you fell for that!
You wish, man.
If you wanted to see my cock, you should've just asked.
Ooh.
- Where have you sent that? - It's on the group chat.
It might even be on the girls' one, too, if you're lucky.
- You're a prick. - Had you down as a BBC man, Polanco.
What?
Big Black cock.
- Got that one from your daddy, I reckon. - Fuck off.
Alex is more like an LBC guy.
Little Black cock.
LBC!
- Fucking hell, Tom, you're too much. - We're just messing about.
...invitation to Paris Couture, I'm not interested.
Right?
Oi, Theo! Put your boyfriend down.
- So I'm your boyfriend now, apparently. - And I haven't even taken you out yet.
Mm-mm.
Hey, what about this weekend?
We could go to the cinema, maybe grab some food?
- Wait, for real? - Yeah, why not?
I mean, I do have a very busy social calendar.
- Might have to move some things around. - Fuck off.
Captain! Come on, bring it in.
- Come on! - Okay, focus in, yeah, focus in.
We're so close, boys.
Don't drop it now.
Don't give those Holland Park pricks the satisfaction.
This one's ours to lose.
So get out there. Fucking enjoy yourselves. Come on!
Come on!
♪ You're not alive Until you start kicking ♪
♪ When the room is spinning And the words aren't sticking... ♪
Open up.
Yeah, boy. If you need.
♪ And the radio's all about A runaway model ♪
♪ With a face like sin And a heart like a James Joyce novel ♪
Fuck.
♪ Saying sister, sister How I missed ya, missed ya ♪
♪ Let's go wrist to wrist And take the skin off of my blister ♪
Get up, man, you little pussy.
I know you're pissed off, yeah, but you got to swallow it.
All right? Come on.
Is he talking about my parents' divorce?
Or my little Black cock?
♪ The boys in the better land The boys in the better land ♪
Alex, come on. Come on.
♪ The boys in the better land... ♪
Come on!
Come on, Alex!
- Fuck, man! - Aw.
Come on, guys. Go again.
♪ Driver's got names To fill two double-barrels... ♪
Oi, LBC.
Don't cry about it, man.
Fuck off, you prick!
Fuck you!
You prick!
Get off him.
- Enough. - What's he doing?
Come on!
- I can't believe you boxed my nose. - Shut up.
You actually wanted to beat the shit out of me.
Yeah. You were being a wanker.
But you fully bopped me in my face.
That is so jokes, LBC.
It's not funny.
I don't rate that race stuff. It's shit chat.
You tricked me into sending you a dick pic and now the whole school has seen it.
- You know how embarrassing that is? - Chill.
It's not even that small.
That is so not the point. It's private.
Now it's everywhere.
If Coach goes on your phone, we are fucked.
- He won't. - You don't know that.
It'll blow over.
Yeah, for you, maybe.
I've got family fucking therapy later, and all I'm gonna be able to think about
is the fact that I'm a newly qualified sex offender.
It's fine. Just say it was me who sent it.
- Obviously, I can't do that. - Why not?
Because then you'll also be a sex offender.
- Why are we sex offenders? - Because it's child porn. We're 15.
Shit.
Fifteen and sex offenders.
Okay, can you stop saying sex offenders?
Are either of you boys gonna explain what happened out there?
You fucked it.
You've absolutely fucked it.
You can bet neither of you will be playing on my team
for the rest of the year if you don't explain.
Somebody better speak up before I have you both suspended.
You fucked it so much.
Kiss your future goodbye. Your name's going on a register...
It was my fault.
- Wait, what? - I started it.
Me and Alex fell out this morning.
And I was pissed off so I said something about his sister.
And it was meant to be a joke, but I took it too far.
Is that true, Alex?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's true.
Off you go, Thomas. I'll deal with you later.
Look, Alex.
I know your family has a lot going on.
How are things at home?
We're all having a jolly old time.
Um... we're coping.
You know, it's okay not to be okay, bud.
Who are you? The Dalai fucking Lama?
I know you're worried about Mia, but I hear she's doing really well.
It's remarkable to see her back on top of things, after all she's been through.
And you always do okay, yeah, don't you, bud?
Here we go again. Your sister is wonderful.
I haven't reported you to the head. This time.
I was a scrappy teenager once myself.
I do get it.
Thanks, Coach.
But physical aggression like that is never acceptable.
I did have to call your mother and tell her.
Well, isn't that just fucking fantastic.
Please, God, make it so that my sister hasn't seen my naked penis.
You're disgusting.
Alex?
Issy. Um...
Hey.
Are you okay? What happened out there?
Sorry, I, um...
It was just, you know...
boy stuff.
Did that sound gay?
Boy stuff?
Definitely sounded gay.
Anyway, I, um... I hope you're okay.
I was just wondering if you were doing anything later.
I thought that maybe we could work on the Parker Newtown application together.
You know, two brains better than one and all that.
Um...
- This has got to be a joke. - I mean, no biggie if you don't fancy it.
Does she know? She has to know.
You know what? Don't worry about it. I'll manage.
Have I done something?
- What? - Like, have I done something wrong?
Um...
Tell her the truth. Obviously, just tell her the truth.
Sorry, I've... I've got go. Um...
At least you didn't punch her.
Ugh, as if this day couldn't get any worse.
Grounded for life. Bags packed and kicked out onto the street. Jail time.
Today of all days, Alex.
Really?
Let's just try and focus on Mia, shall we?
That's it?
That's the moment you realize you're not even worth being mad at.
Because it will only ever be about her.
Hello, darling. How was today?
- Did you manage your lunch okay? - Can we not with the 20 questions?
Sorry, sorry.
Ooh, I managed to get a hold of Miss Lambert. Have you spoken to her?
- Are we gonna go? - Okay.
Seat belts on. Let's go, team.
Hi.
Hi, hi, hi, hi.
Hey, Dad.
- You're late, but... - We're here now, aren't we?
How was school, Meems?
How about you, Al? Good day?
Ah-ha! It's the Polancos.
- Come on up. - Thank you.
This is gonna hurt.
Today is not about finding easy answers.
We are beginning a constructive and honest dialogue
to help aid Mia's recovery.
There is no judgment within these walls.
Hm? Does that sound okay to everyone?
We're all very much on board.
Aren't we, darlings?
Right, so, how have things been since Mia came home?
It's like we've got our girl back.
In the months before she went away,
I mean, she was unrecognizable.
Not just physically, you know.
She was lying.
She'd become a little... deceitful
and, uh, self-centered, and Meems isn't like that.
Do you think that's a fair assessment, Mia?
Uncanny.
I understand that it's been a difficult time for all of you
with Dad leaving the family home.
How do you feel you're coping with the change, Mia?
Well, you've been doing really well, haven't you?
She's just so focused on her recovery.
Maybe we should talk about what you think
are any obstacles that could inhibit Mia's recovery.
I'm not talking about apportioning blame,
but anticipating triggers can really help us cope better with them.
Right, well, no expert, but, um...
I think there's a lot of pressure on young people these days
to look perfect, isn't there?
And you've got, uh, magazines and reality TV,
and then there's the tweeting and the liking the Instagram,
and then the TikToks.
And it's just this constant comparison to each other.
I mean, it's no wonder why so many of them end up like this.
Yep, you've nailed it. All down to TikTok.
Perhaps what Mia is trying to say
is that those sentiments may be true in a general sense,
but they might not be applicable to her personal experience.
Rick. How do you think Mia is finding the adjustment?
I don't know.
I mean, Mia's on track, but...
it can't have helped.
Come on.
Obviously, finding out my entire family was lying to me was totally shit.
I've been in the dark.
But, you know,
things may not be as easy for me as they are for perfect little Alex,
but that doesn't mean you need to shut me out.
We were doing what we thought was best.
We were covering for you.
Because you were too much of a coward
to tell your daughter that while she was in hospital,
you were too busy finding yourself a new girlfriend.
I was protecting her.
- She wouldn't have ended up in hospital... - Here we go. Martyr Rick.
- ...repressed every sign... - I repressed?
- You paid no attention! - Can we just please...
Let's just press the pause button here.
Alex, how does this make you feel?
Yeah.
They're always blaming each other.
And neither of them see the damage that they're doing.
You've been lying to Mia for months, and you roped me into it
because you can rely on Alex. Dependable, perfect Alex.
As if any of you have given me the option to be anything but.
You... you just expect me to keep your secrets,
to look out for Mia, to get good grades, to not take up space, to be okay,
but what if I'm not fucking okay?
None of you thought about that 'cause apparently I don't matter anymore.
I have tried my best not to hate you, Mia, but ever since you've been ill,
it's like I'm invisible. I am a fucking shadow, and I am tired.
You and your illness just swallow up everything,
and I'm sick of it.
I cannot keep shrinking myself to make room for your anorexia.
Okay? I can't.
So if you are so set on slowly fucking killing yourself again,
please just put us all out of our misery and just do it.
Alex?
I'm just
really proud of how far Mia's come.
Mm. Mm.
How can you be so angry at something that's partially your fault?
You could consider couples therapy.
I do know a good therapist who I think could help.
Oh, fuck.
Okay.
Have a think.
Alex, I know how hard this must be for you.
If ever you need to talk, you know where I am.
Most people pay attention to the lead guitar,
the vocalist, and the drummer.
But people who know, they take note of the bass.
Because it is the bass who quietly holds the band together.
Right, I think I need to pop back to the office.
I think that went really well.
Anybody want a lift?
I've got my car.
Shall we get some food on the way home?
I've got plans.
Mia?
- Mia, are you okay? - Just go away.
I'm not going anywhere.
I don't know why I'm doing this. I'm sorry.
So stupid.
I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing.
Sorry.
You've got nothing to be sorry for.
I didn't take shrooms.
No?
I already feel so out of control and...
And the only way I know how to deal with things is...
I think you made the right call.
Yeah?
I don't know, I just feel like I'm failing.
You're not failing.
I've got an idea.
- Come on. - Okay.
Why did you bring me here?
It's where I come to escape.
To think, you know?
Get perspective.
Thinking about the people down there with all their own shit.
How many of them do you think have to endure family therapy?
How many of them need it is the real question.
It's shit that Dad left.
Sorry I wasn't there
when it got bad.
- Sorry all of this is happening. - It's not your fault.
Isn't it?
I know I've put you all through so much.
That was your illness.
That wasn't you.
I guess I'm scared they won't be different things for very long.
It wasn't fair of them to make you lie.
The thing is...
I don't know.
I think we all do shit because we think it's the right thing to do.
And sometimes it's not,
and we can't change what we've already done,
but we can, like,
try and be better next time.
Make better mistakes for better reasons.
Oh my God.
Look at me. I am a total mess,
and my little brother is right about everything.
Fucked it today.
Mm, yeah, you completely fucked it.
Multiple times. With a chainsaw.
But Issy seems cool.
Hmm. Maybe you can redeem yourself.
I don't know.
She's seen my penis.
I know, but...
she also clearly likes you.
You should ask her to help you with that application.
You know, charm her with your freaky genius brain.
- Send the fucking text. - Okay, I'll send the text.
All right. I'll send it, I'll send it, I'll send it.
I'm sending it. I'm sending it.
- Fuck. Oh my God, no. - God. Okay, okay, okay.
Ooh.
It's beautiful, innit?
Innit.
Love you.
Love you too.
It's good to have you back, Mia.
♪ Socks and sliders Everywhere and every day ♪
♪ Full English breakfast At a caff, not a café ♪
♪ No, no, baby We don't let strangers come our way ♪
♪ But you should come To my hood, my hood, my hood... ♪
One day, you'll learn not to hurt the people you love most.
♪ I'll show you gangsters Don't you go running your mouth ♪
♪ Mopeds are racing 2:00 a.m. outside my house ♪
♪ Oh yeah, it's loud But come to my hood, my hood, my hood ♪
♪ Coming from the land Of wings and chicken fillets ♪
♪ Where you're from, man won't Be able to read but he can bill it ♪
♪ You can see why that's a problem Any given problem ♪
♪ Staring in my face? Imma ask you, "What's the problem?" ♪
♪ You can be Bane or you can be Robin ♪
♪ But we've got a lot of Dark Knights Living up in Gotham ♪
♪ Man, there's babies having babies, man It's crazy up in my hood ♪
♪ This **** got me praying That I die good ♪
♪ Where we'd rather buy guns Before we buy books ♪
♪ Where they left us in the dark So we light kush, my hood ♪
♪ There's no place like home No place like home ♪
♪ Buy me any ticket, I don't wanna go ♪
♪ To a town Where there's no one like me round ♪
♪ Don't take me there or anywhere ♪
♪ On these streets, these streets In the dark, we glow ♪
♪ On these streets, these streets We're high when it's low ♪
♪ On these streets, these streets Through concrete, flowers grow ♪
♪ In my hood, my hood, my hood, my hood ♪
♪ You should come to my hood My hood, my hood ♪