>> Bomani: THE U.S. IS GOING
BACK TO THE MEN'S WORLD CUP,
TRACY MORGAN IS HERE TO TALK
ABOUT THEM SORRY ASS KNICKS,
AND AMERICA'S SLAPPING COACH K'S
GRAVE LIKE IT'S CAMERON INDOOR
COURT.
RUN IT!
[APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU.
Y'ALL WATCH THE GAME LAST NIGHT?
YESTERDAY, DESPITE WHAT YOU MAY
THINK, NORTH CAROLINA WON IT
ALL.
>> ALL RIGHT, WE'RE DOWN TO 5,
4, 3, 2, 1.
UNC TARHEELS HAVE JUST WON THE
GAME!
LOOK AT THIS!
THEY JUST WON THE GAME, GUYS!
>> Bomani: IT'S NOT EVEN A GAME.
THEY STORMED THE FLOOR.
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.
I KNOW THAT WAS JUST
THE MEN'S FINAL FOUR, BUT UNC
DOESN'T EVEN NEED TO PLAY THAT
TITLE GAME.
THEY ALREADY WON SOMETHING
BETTER THAN A CHAMPIONSHIP!
ACTUALLY, THEY WON THAT LAST
MONTH!
AT MIKE KRZYZEWSKI'S FINAL HOME
GAME, FORCING HIM AND HIS
PLAYERS TO SIT THROUGH THAT
POSTGAME CEREMONY DRIPPING WITH
LOSER JUICE.
NO TROPHY FEELS BETTER THAN
WATCHING THAT.
>> STUDENTS STORMING FRANKLIN
STREET, CELEBRATING A SHOCKING
WIN OVER DUKE DURING COACH K'S
FINAL HOME GAME.
>> THIS IS THE BEST DAY
OF MY LIFE.
LIKE, COACH K'S LAST GAME.
WHOO!
>> I SMASHED THE OTTOMAN.
I THINK I MIGHT HAVE HIT IT
A COUPLE OF TIMES.
>> WE MIGHT HAVE HURT OUR
OTTOMAN.
>> Bomani: A CELEBRATION SO BIG
EVEN OLD WHITE PEOPLE FORGOT
THEY HATE DESTRUCTION OF
PROPERTY FOR ONE NIGHT.
LOOK, DON'T GET ME WRONG,
LAST NIGHT WAS PRETTY GOOD.
BUT WHILE CUTTING DOWN NETS
IS FUN, EVEN BETTER IS BEING THE
LAST TEAM IN ALL OF BASKETBALL
HISTORY TO HAND COACH K AN L.
SEE, WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO A
CHOICE BETWEEN A RIVALRY AND A
CHAMPIONSHIP, THE BEEF ALWAYS
WINS.
SPEAKING OF BEEF, YOU GUYS STILL
GOT BEEF WITH HUBERT DAVIS
OVER THIS ONE?
>> I'M VERY PROUD TO BE
AFRICAN-AMERICAN,
BUT I'M ALSO VERY PROUD
THAT MY WIFE IS WHITE.
>> Bomani: IT'S DOESN'T SOUND
LIKE YOU'RE LETTING THAT GO.
THINK ABOUT IT.
LOOK AT TOM BRADY.
HE RETIRED FROM A CONTENDER OUT
OF NOWHERE, AND THEN 40 DAYS
LATER HE'S BACK IN THE LEAGUE.
SO I GUESS FOOTBALL'S THE ONLY
THING HE'S MORE ADDICTED TO THAN
THAT WEIRD ASS WATER HE SAID
PREVENTS CONCUSSIONS,
C.T. ELIXIR OR SOMETHING.
BUT WHAT CHANGED?
IT'S SIMPLE!
BRUCE ARIANS STOPPED COACHING.
>> BRUCE ARIANS RETIRING AS HEAD
COACH OF THE BUCCANEERS.
HE WILL MOVE INTO A FRONT OFFICE
ROLE WITH THE TEAM.
>> TOM BRADY POSTED THE
FOLLOWING STATEMENT
ABOUT ARIANS ON HIS INSTAGRAM,
SAYING QUOTE, "YOU'RE AN
INCREDIBLE MAN AND COACH.
IT WAS A PRIVILEGE TO PLAY
FOR YOU."
>> Bomani: HE LEFT OUT THE
PART WHERE HE SAID HE'S GOING TO
MISS THEM WORKING TOGETHER.
IT'S LIKE SENDING SOMEONE AN
ANNIVERSARY CARD THAT SAYS "IT'S
BEEN A YEAR, RELAX."
AND TRULY NOBODY HAS SEEN BRADY
THIS HAPPY SINCE TRUMP WON.
AND WE WON'T SEE HIM THIS HAPPY
AGAIN UNTIL TRUMP WINS IN 2024.
EVEN LEBRON JAMES IS GETTIN' IN
ON PETTY FEVER.
DUDE HAS GOT A RIVALRY WITH
ANYONE WHO THINKS HE ISN'T
THE GOAT.
HE'S FIGHTING THE GHOST OF
MICHAEL JORDAN AND EVERYONE WHO
LOVES JORDAN.
HE STARTED A BUSINESS EMPIRE
LIKE JORDAN,
STARRED IN "SPACE JAM"
LIKE JORDAN, WORE 23
LIKE JORDAN.
THE ONLY THINGS LEBRON HASN'T
COPIED FROM JORDAN ARE HUMONGOUS
JEANS AND THAT HITLER MUSTACHE.
AND LEBRON'S OBSESSION WITH
BEATING KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR'S
SCORING RECORD IS HIS LATEST
ATTEMPT TO SURPASS MICHAEL.
BUT THE LAKERS ARE MAKING THAT
QUEST RATHER DIFFICULT.
>> YES, I GET FRUSTRATED AND
ANGRY FROM LOSSES AND THINGS WE
COULD HAVE DONE BETTER AND
THINGS OF THAT NATURE,
BUT ONCE I LEAVE THE ARENA, I
LEAVE IT THERE AND LET'S MOVE ON
TO THE NEXT THING, SO...
I'M LITERALLY HAVING THE TIME OF
MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.
>> Bomani: YOU'RE HAVING
THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW,
IS ANYONE ELSE IN THE
ORGANIZATION?
IS RUSSELL WESTBROOK HAVING FUN?
HE'S ABOUT TO PULL HIS KIDS OUT
OF SCHOOL.
IS ANTHONY DAVIS HAVING FUN?
HE LOOKS LIKE THE ONLY PERSON
THAT MISSES THE NBA BUBBLE.
FRANK VOGEL?
HIS HOUSE JUST SHOWED UP
ON ZILLOW.
AND REALLY, TO ANYONE SAYING
LEBRON ISN'T PETTILY
CHASING KAREEM, DO YOU THINK
HE'S DROPPING 40 A GAME TO DRAG
THIS SORRY-ASS TEAM TO THE
PLAY-IN WHERE THEY CAN LOSE TO
THE PELICANS?
THE SAME DUDES WHO WERE ASKING
"WHY HE DON'T WANT ME?"
WHEN LEBRON KICKED THEM OUT OF
TOWN?
HELL NO!
>> LEBRON ATTEMPTS TO CRASH THE
BOARDS, YOU SEE HIM GO DOWN
BECAUSE HE HURT HIS ANKLE IN THE
PROCESS.
TAKE ANOTHER LOOK.
URRRGH.
THAT'S TOUGH TO LOOK AT.
>> Bomani: HE WANTS IT SO BAD
THIS DUDE ROLLED HIS ANKLE
HARDER THAN AN
UPPER-MIDDLE CLASS GIRL AT
COACHELLA, HIS ANKLE ROLLED
NASTIER THAN SOMEONE LICKING A
BLUNT WRAPPER WITH A COLD SORE,
HE ROLLED HIS ANKLE SO BAD HE
ACTUALLY ROLLED HIS CALF
THAT WAS LAST SUNDAY, AND HE
STILL CAME BACK TO PLAY FRIDAY.
NORMALLY WHEN LEBRON GETS HURT
LIKE THAT, HE LAYS UP FOR TWO
WEEKS, CREATING A NEW SLIGHTLY
RACIST FOOD TREND ON INSTAGRAM.
>> TACO TUESDAY!
AI-AI-AI-A-AI!
>> Bomani: YO, THAT WAS WILD.
BUT THE BIGGEST RIVALRY
PARTICIPANT OF THE WEEK?
THERE WAS ONE CLEAR WINNER.
>> OF COURSE, I'M TALKING ABOUT
THE SMACK SEEN AROUND THE WORLD.
AN UGLY MOMENT BETWEEN
CHRIS ROCK AND WILL SMITH.
TAKE A LOOK.
>> OH, WOW.
>> WELCOME TO EARTH.
>> WOW.
>> Bomani: DUDE,
HERE'S THE THING:
I DON'T EVEN THINK THEY'RE
REALLY RIVALS.
CHRIS ROCK TOOK THAT SMACK
BECAUSE WILL CAN'T SMACK HIS
REAL COMPETITION.
MAKAVELI THE DON.
>> WERE YOU EVER JEALOUS OF THE
LOVE JADA HAD FOR TUPAC?
>> OH, FUCK YEAH.
THEY NEVER HAD A SEXUAL
RELATIONSHIP, BUT SHE JUST LOVED
HIM LIKE HE WAS THE IMAGE OF
PERFECTION, BUT SHE WAS WITH THE
FRESH PRINCE.
>> Bomani: EVERYBODY FELT THAT.
BRIGHT SIDE, WILL.
IF SHE DID SLEEP WITH HIM,
SHE WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU.
AND EVERYBODY ELSE.
>> I GOT INTO AN ENTANGLEMENT
WITH AUGUST.
THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
>> Bomani: SO, YEAH, I KIND OF
UNDERSTAND WHY WILL WENT ALL HIT
HIM UP, INSTEAD OF JUST TAKING A
GODDAMN JOKE.
ALL OF THIS ON THE NIGHT THAT
WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WILL SMITH'S
CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT AS AN
ACTOR.
HIS CORONATION NIGHT.
COME ON, MAN, THIS WAS THE
CULMINATION OF ALL YOUR HARD
WORK.
YOU DIDN'T PLAY A POOR PERSON
17 TIMES FOR THIS.
YET, HE STILL CHOSE RIVALRY
OVER TROPHY.
'CAUSE NO MATTER THE BANNER,
NO MATTER THE TROPHY,
IT'S A UNIVERSAL TRUTH:
PETTY WINS.
AND NO ONE KNOWS PETTY LIKE
SPORTS FANS.
FROM MESSAGE BOARDS TO THE
ARENA, THE REAL PEOPLE IN THE
SEATS FEEL THOSE RIVALRIES IN
THEIR BONES.
SO I HAD TO HIT THE STREETS TO
ASK THEM IF PETTY COULD EVER GO
TOO FAR.
>> HAVE YOU EVER HECKLED
SOMEBODY OF EXPORTING AND -- AT
A SPORTING EVENT?
>> LeBRON.
>> HAVE YOU EVER HECKLED SOMEONE
AT A SPORTING EVENT?
>> EVERY YANKEE FAN AT EVERY
GAME JUST SAYS FUCK ALTUVE.
>> Bomani: SOMEONE WHOSE NAME
IS ALTUVE MIGHT BE WALKING PAST.
MILD, MEDIUM, SPICY.
I DO NOT LIKE YOU.
>> MILES.
>> Bomani: DAMN, DUDE.
YOUR FAT AS HELL.
DO WE NEED TO PUT A TREADMILL IN
THE STRIP CLUB?
HIS DREAM WOULD BE TO SEND YOUR
ASS TO THE G LEAGUE.
WHAT IF A WHITE PERSON INSIDE
IT?
>> THAT'S A PROBLEM.
>> Bomani: YOU PLAY LIKE LAMAR
ODOM PASSED OUT UNCONSCIOUS.
>> I DON'T FIND THAT OFFENSIVE.
>> Bomani: MAD FUNNY.
THAT'S HOW NEW YORK SHE IS.
MAD FUNNY.
YOU MISSED SO MANY SHOTS THE
POLICE UNION WANTS TIRING TO
HELP THEIR P.R.
>> [LAUGHS]
IS IT BAD THAT I KIND OF LIKE
THAT ONE?
>> Bomani: I WILL PULL A
TICKET ON YOUR FAMILY WELL I
KIDNAPPED THEM AND TAKE THEM TO
EUROPE AS HOSTAGES AND YOU HAVE
TO MAKE TWO FREE THROWS TO GET
THEM BACK.
THIS IS A LONG-WINDED HECKLING.
THIS GOES BEYOND HECKLING.
SOMEONE WHO IS VERY LITERATE.
THAT'S YOUR BABY, TRISTAN
THOMPSON.
PAY YOUR CHILD SUPPORT.
>> THAT IS SPICY.
>> Bomani: I'M GOING TO SWEEP
YOUR MOTHER OFF HER FEET, MARY
HER, AND THEN FUCK HER OVER THE
WAY YOU ARE FUCKING OVER THIS
TEAM.
WOULD YOU TAG BAD ABOUT ALTUVE'S
MOM?
>> FUCK ALTUVE'S MOM.
>> Bomani: DAMN.
WELL, THE KNICKS ARE OUT OF THE
PLAYOFFS AGAIN.
SO I HAD TO TALK TO COMEDIAN,
ACTOR, AND NATIVE NEW YORKER
TRACY MORGAN.
HE'S BEEN ROOTING FOR THEM HIS
ENTIRE LIFE AND I JUST WANT TO
KNOW...
HOW?
WHY?
>> WHEN I DID BOMB, IT WAS
HILARIOUS.
IF I AM GOING DOWN, I AM TAKING
ALL OF YOU ALL WITH ME.
I DON'T JUST BOMB.
MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I AM SNAPPING ON EVERYBODY.
>> Bomani: YOU ARE A KNICKS
FAN.
>> Tracy: I WANT TO CALL
TIMEOUT.
>> Bomani: FOR THOSE OF US NOT
FROM NEW YORK, WE FIND YOU TO BE
SO FUNNY.
>> Tracy: IT'S OKAY TO NOT TO
BE FROM NEW YORK.
IT'S OKAY TO NOT BE IN THE KNOW.
YOU'RE BORN AND RAISED IN
NEW YORK CITY, YOU WANT TO KNOW
FROM THE TIME YOU'RE 10 YEARS
OLD.
>> Bomani: ALL YOU ALL KNOW IS
THEM LOSING AND THAT GETS
CONFUSING.
YOU GET SO OPTIMISTIC AND
EXCITED.
>> Tracy: THEY ARE COMING ON
NOW.
WE ARE PLAYING THE YOUNG BOYS.
WE HAVE DEROSE, THE VETERAN TAJ.
LIKE I TELL ALL THE KNICKS FANS,
BE PATIENT.
WE MIGHT NOT BE READY RIGHT NOW.
I DON'T WANT TO MAKE THAT EXCUSE
AND SAY WE JUST WANT TO COMPETE.
WE WANT TO COMPETE AND WE WANT
TO WIN.
I FEEL IT.
DEEP DOWN INSIDE I FEEL IT
COMING ON.
I SEE THE RING.
I SEE IT'S COMING.
>> Bomani: I WANT TO ASK YOU
THIS ABOUT THE KNICKS.
WHY IS IT THAT TEAM HOLDS THE
CITY IN THAT WAY?
THE YANKEES DO ALL THE WINNING
BUT THE EMOTION BEHIND THEM
ISN'T THE SAME.
>> Tracy: BACKUP.
YOU HAVE WALL STREET.
IF YOU WANT TO CHEW.
EVERYBODY'S WAITING.
WAITING FOR THE CHIP TO COME
MASFAR AS THE KNICKS ARE CONCER.
EIGHT YEARS.
WE GOT TO THE PLAYOFFS.
I REMEMBER THAT GAME.
I WAS THERE WHEN WE LOST.
TRAE YOUNG SPIT ON THE FLOOR AND
I THREATENED HIM.
THERE'S GOING TO BE A PROBLEM IN
HERE.
THERE IS IN HERE.
IT'S JUST A GAME.
YOU DON'T SPIT ON THE FLOOR.
YOU DON'T DO THAT.
>> Bomani: WHO ARE YOU NOT
ROCKING WITH?
>> Tracy: LeBRON.
HE NEVER CAME TO NEW YORK.
>> Bomani: TEASING.
THE BLUE AND ORANGE.
>> Tracy: RIDING THE TRAINS, I
GET IT.
MAYBE ALL THOSE THINGS.
>> Bomani: HE GOES TO THE
GARDEN AND KILLS IT EVERY TIME.
>> Tracy: I WAS MAD WHEN JAY Z
DID WHAT HE DID WITH BROOKLYN.
HE LEFT BECAUSE HE CAME AN
AGENT.
YOU CANT OWN A TEAM AND BE AN
AGENT.
>> Bomani: HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT THE NETS?
YOU'RE FROM BROOKLYN.
>> Tracy: THE WHO?
>> Bomani: NETS.
THE BUILDING IS RIGHT DOWN THE
STREET FROM WHERE YOU GREW UP.
>> Tracy: I KNOW.
SO?
JUST BECAUSE I'M FROM BROOKLYN
DOESN'T MEAN I NEED TO BE A NETS
FAN.
I'M A KNICKS FAN.
>> Bomani: TALKING ABOUT
THINGS IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU CAN
BELIEVE THAT HAVE HAPPENED.
GETTING KNICKS COURT SIDE
TICKETS HAD TO BE A MOMENT.
>> Tracy: I STARTED UP THERE.
I MADE MY WAY ALL THE WAY DOWN
TO MY CAREER.
MY CAREER AND I'M ON THE
SIDELINE.
I'M A FIXTURE AT THE GARDEN WITH
THE KNICKS.
I LOVE MY KNICKS.
PERIOD.
>> Bomani: MY MAN, I
APPRECIATE YOU.
>> Tracy: I LOVE YOU.
>> Bomani: YOU ARE PLAYING
GOLF.
>> NEWSPAPER WRAPPED WITH
PACKING TAPE.
>> Bomani: ANY EVENT YOU CAN
GET TICKETS TO, WHAT WOULD IT
BE?
>> THE MASTERS.
>> SUPER BOWL.
>> THE METS GALA.
I WANT TO WATCH CELEBRITIES DO
COKE IN THE BATHROOM.
>> SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT.
>> I WANT TO SAY THE U.S. OPEN
OR SOME SORT OF TENNIS EVENT.
>> IF YOU LEARNED THERE WAS
SHADY STUFF GOING ON, WOULD YOU
STILL WANT TO GO?
>> FOR SURE.
I THINK I WOULD WANT TO GO MORE.
>> THE FASHION INDUSTRY ITSELF
IS PRETTY SHADY.
>> I KNOW WHAT I THINK A SHADY
GOING OUT AT THE MET GALA, A
CONSPIRACY TO GET BLACK PEOPLE
TO DRESS AS RIDICULOUS AS
POSSIBLE SO THEY CAN LAUGH AT
US.
>> DO WE NEED THE MET GALA FOR
THAT?
HAVE YOU BEEN TO ATLANTA?
>> Bomani: WHAT IF I SAID
THERE WAS A SHADY BACK STORY TO
THE MASTERS.
>> IF TIGER WOODS WAS PLAYING.
>> Bomani: THIS WEEK ALL EYES
ARE ON AUGUSTA NATIONAL.
THE PROCEDURES CLUB IN GEORGIA.
IT IS LIT.
HOMECOMING FOR THE 1%.
WHITE-COLLAR ALL STAR WEEKEND.
RICH FOLK FREAKNIK!
AND YOU KNOW WHAT GOES ON AT
FREAKNIK?
>> LAW ENFORCEMENT TARGETS
EVENTS LIKE THE MASTERS FOR
INCREASED SEX TRAFFICKING
ACTIVITY.
>> WE'VE SEEN THAT THERE'S
A SPIKE IN THESE TYPES OF
ACTIVITIES DURING THESE
SPECIAL EVENTS.
PEOPLE COME TO THESE EVENTS
TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND, UH,
SOME PEOPLE'S DEFINITION OF A
GOOD TIME DIFFERS FROM WHAT THE
LAW'S IDEA OF A GOOD TIME IS.
>> Bomani: HE COULDN'T FIGURE
OUT HOW TO SAY THAT.
MAYBE THE FANS THINK
THOSE GREEN MASTERS JACKETS ARE
A TRIBUTE TO BISHOP DON MAGIC
JUAN.
THE GREEN IS FOR THE MONEY AND
THE GOLD IS FOR THE HONEY.
BUT TO PUT IT SIMPLY, THE
MASTERS IS A FLEX OF POWER AND
CONTROL.
AND DESPITE EVERYTHING I SUSPECT
ABOUT THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE
MASTERS, THEY GIVE US THIS
PERFECT WEEK IN SPORTS.
AND I LOVE IT.
EVERY YEAR, I EAT THAT SHIT UP
LIKE THOSE TURKEYS NINO BROWN
GAVE AWAY AT THANKSGIVING.
BEHOLD, AUGUSTA NATIONAL.
LOOK AT THAT SHIT.
THE WATER JUST GLISTENING.
THE FLOWERS BLOOMING
IN TECHNICOLOR.
GRASS LOOKS LIKE THEY PUT
BONNETS ON IT EVERY NIGHT TO
KEEP IT INTACT.
THE FAIRWAY WAKES UP IN THE
MORNING LIKE...
>> YES, YES.
OOH, OOH, OOH.
STIFF WHERE?
>> FOR REAL, STIFF WHERE?
>> Bomani: PUT THEM FAIRWAYS
ON THE COVER.
IN 1986, JIM NANTZ CAME UP WITH
THE PERFECT DESCRIPTION FOR THE
MASTERS.
>> A TRADITION UNLIKE ANY OTHER.
A TRADITION UNLIKE ANY OTHER.
>> LIKE JIM NANTZ SAYS,
>> TRADITION
>> UNLIKE ANY OTHER.
IT'S A TRADITION UNLIKE ANY
OTHER.
>> WELCOME BACK TO BUTLER CABIN
AND THIS TRADITION UNLIKE ANY
OTHER.
>> Bomani: HE JUST SOUNDS LIKE
MONEY.
THAT MAN HAS BEEN 62
SINCE HE WAS 25.
NOW, AUGUSTA NATIONAL COMPLETELY
CONTROLS THEIR IMAGE.
WHICH INCLUDES TRADEMARKING
EVERYTHING.
THE GREEN JACKETS?
TRADEMARKED.
THE FAMOUS PIMENTO CHEESE
SANDWICHES THEY SELL
FOR A BUCK-FIFTY?
TRADEMARKED!
AND YOU KNOW DAMN WELL
THEY TRADEMARKED THIS.
>> THIS TRADITION UNLIKE ANY
OTHER.
>> Bomani: I AIN'T NO SNITCH,
BUT I'M NOT SURE EVERYONE GOT
THE MEMO ON THIS ONE.
>> IT'S A TRADITION UNLIKE ANY
OTHER.
HOCKEY FANS IN NASHVILLE
THROWING CATFISH ON THE ICE.
>> A TRADITION UNLIKE ANY OTHER.
IT'S NO PANTS DAY
IN SAN FRANCISCO.
>> TRADITION UNLIKE ANY OTHER.
YES, IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR
AGAIN.
TIME FOR SOME RITUAL
INDIAN BABY TOSSING.
>> Bomani: THAT'S MORE LIKE
A MICHAEL JACKSON TRADITION LIKE
NO OTHER.
THEM BABIES BUILT DIFFERENT OVER
THERE.
THE MASTERS BRANDING IS A BEAST.
THEY SELL THE OFFICIAL GEAR
EXCLUSIVELY ON LOCATION FOR ONLY
THE WEEK OF THE TOURNAMENT.
IT'S LIKE A SUPREME BURBERY
POP-UP FOR MIDDLE-AGED WHITE
DUDES.
>> MICHAEL BOYD AND HIS BUDDIES
HAVE MADE THEIR SECOND TRIP TO
THE PRO SHOP THIS WEEK.
>> WHEN WE FIRST GOT HERE,
WE DID THE OPENING CEREMONY,
WENT INTO THE STORE, SPENT TWO
HOURS SHOPPING.
>> I GOT HATS, SHIRTS, JACKETS.
>> THE NUMBER ONE THING I WANTED
TO GET WAS MY FLAG HERE.
I'M GOING TO PUT A BIG THREE
FOOT POSTER IN MY MAN CAVE.
>> ANYTHING THAT HAS THAT
MASTERS LOGO.
WHEN YOU SEE IT, YOU KNOW WHERE
IT'S FROM, YOU KNOW IT'S AN
INVITE ONLY PARTY, AND YOU WANT
TO BE A PIECE OF IT.
>> Bomani: I KNOW A HYPE BEAST
WHEN I SEE ONE.
DURING THE MASTERS,
THEY CALL THE
CUSTOMERS PATRONS, BECAUSE
CALLING THEM PEASANTS IS TACKY.
THE MEMBERS OF THE CLUB PUT ON
THEIR GREEN JACKETS AND GIVE
DIRECTIONS AROUND THE FACILITIES
LIKE FILTHY RICH HALL MONITORS.
THEY EVEN CONTROL HOW YOU
CELEBRATE, GOLFERS INCLUDED.
THESE ARE THE WORDS OF AUGUSTA'S
COFOUNDER, GOLF LEGEND BOBBY
JONES.
"IT IS APPROPRIATE FOR
SPECTATORS TO APPLAUD --"
MAN, WE AIN'T READING ALL THAT
SHIT.
THEY GOT MORE RULES THAN BIG
MAMA'S DEN WITH THE PLASTIC ON
THE COUCH.
EVEN THE WORDS COMING OUT THE
MOUTHS OF BROADCASTERS ARE
RESTRICTED.
THIS IS GARY McCORD IN 1994.
>> THESE GREENS ARE ABSOLUTELY
JUST LIKE GLASS.
I DON'T THINK THEY CUT THEM
OUT HERE.
I THINK THEY USE BIKINI WAX
ON THEM.
>> Bomani: BUT HE
NEVER WORKED THE MASTERS AGAIN.
THEY GRABBED HIM BY THE ROOTS
AND YANKED HIS ASS OUTTA AMEN
CORNER.
HE WAS MESSING UP THE BRAND.
A BRAND LIKE THAT HAS TO BE
FLAWLESS TO KEEP US FROM
THINKING ABOUT
ALL THAT TRADITION JIM NANTZ
IS TALKING ABOUT.
BUT IN FAIRNESS, IS MASTERS
HISTORY ANY DIFFERENT THAN
AMERICAN HISTORY?
CLASSISM?
CHECK.
SEXISM?
CHECK.
RACISM?
CHECK.
ADD A LITTLE GENOCIDE
AND THE MASTERS COMPLETES
THE SET.
AT LEAST ON THE RACISM FRONT,
THERE'S BAD NEWS AND GOOD NEWS.
BAD NEWS: THE CO-FOUNDER OF THE
CLUB CLIFFORD ROBERTS IS
FAMOUSLY BELIEVED TO HAVE SAID,
"AS LONG AS I'M ALIVE, ALL THE
GOLFERS WILL BE WHITE, AND ALL
THE CADDIES WILL BE BLACK."
GOOD NEWS: HE SHOT HIMSELF
ON THE PAR-THREE COURSE IN 1977.
AND THEN FINALLY WE GOT SOME
PROGRESS.
WHATEVER YOU THINK ABOUT THEIR
LEGACY AT AUGUST, IT DOESN'T
REALLY MATTER.
THEY SO RICH THEY DO WHAT RICH
PEOPLE NEVER DO, TURN MONEY
DOWN.
>> AUGUSTA NATIONAL, THEY HAVE
NO INTEREST IN MAKING MONEY.
>> THEY DON'T SELL THAT MANY
TICKETS.
THE CROWD IS A LITTLE BIT MORE
HIGHBROW AS OPPOSED TO WHO WOULD
>> THEY ONLY ALLOW FOUR MINUTES
OF COMMERCIALS TO BE RUN PER
HOUR.
YOU'D THINK THEY'D MAKE A BUCK
OFF CONCESSIONS?
NO.
CHECK OUT THESE PRICES.
LESS THAN THREE BUCKS
FOR A BEER.
>> Bomani: YES, THOSE ARE ALL
THOSE SCORING AT HOME
THAT IS DARREN ROVELL
AND NO, THAT'S NOT
A REAL MASTERS JACKET.
BY THE WAY, THEY DON'T EVEN NEED
CBS.
CBS NEEDS THEM.
IN 1965, YOUR BOY CLIFF
"ALL BLACK CADDIES" ROBERTS TOLD
AMERICA ON LIVE TV THAT THE NEXT
MASTERS WOULD BE BROADCAST
IN COLOR.
NOT "WITH" COLOR
NOT "FOR" COLOR...
"IN" COLOR.
EXCEPT HE HADN'T BOTHERED TO
TELL ANYBODY AT CBS.
CBS EXECUTIVES WERE AT HOME
BEGGING FOR A CROSSOVER PROMO
LIKE, "THE ONLY GRASS GREENER
THAN OUR FAIRWAYS IS
ON GREEN ACRES!
WEDNESDAYS AT 9!"
HOW DO YOU SCORE TICKETS TO THE
MASTERS?
IT'S KIND OF LIKE THE SNKRS APP.
FANS PLAY A LOTTERY FOR THE
PRIVILEGE OF BUYING SINGLE-DAY
TICKETS.
>> WE WAITED 10 YEARS
TO WIN THE LOTTERY.
>> ABOUT 25 OR 30 TIMES.
>> I WAS IN THE LOTTERY
FOR 24 YEARS.
>> IT'S THE HARDEST TICKET
IN SPORTS.
>> Bomani: AND THEY'RE NOT EVEN
PRICE GOUGING.
THE HAVES AND THE HAVE-NOTS
ALIKE FIND THE PRICES
AFFORDABLE.
THAT'S THE MASTERS' WAY OF
SAYING JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE
ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY A TICKET
DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN TELL US
WHAT TO DO.
IT'S MANUFACTURING EXCLUSIVITY.
WHY YOU THINK BLACK PEOPLE
ACROSS THE WORLD STAYED UP TO
WATCH MEGHAN MARKLE JOIN ONE OF
THE MOST RACIST INSTITUTIONS ON
THE PLANET?
BECAUSE WE WANTED TO BE PART OF
SOME EXCLUSIVE SHIT TOO.
MARRYING INTO THE ROYAL FAMILY
IS HARD.
BUT GETTING A MEMBERSHIP
AT AUGUSTA?
THERE'S NO APPLICATION.
YOUR HIGHEST REFERENCE
DON'T MEAN SHIT TO THEM.
THEY JUST LET YOU KNOW.
>> AUGUSTA NATIONAL IS SO
SECRETIVE, IT WON'T REVEAL THE
NAMES OF ITS MEMBERS OR EVEN HOW
MANY OF THEM TERE ARE.
REPORTEDLY, THERE ARE 300,
ALL BY INVITATION ONLY.
>> ALL ISSUES OF MEMBERSHIP ARE
NOW AND HAVE BEEN HISTORICALLY
SUBJECT TO THE PRIVATE
DELIBERATIONS OF THE MEMBERS.
>> Bomani: DON'T SAY
YOU WANT TO BE A MEMBER.
THEY THINK THAT'S TASTELESS.
BILL GATES HAD HIS PEOPLE DENY
HE WANTED AN INVITE.
THEN EVENTUALLY, HE ENDED UP
GETTING IN.
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE MOTHERFUCKER.
THE CLUB IS SO EXCLUSIVE EVEN
WINNING THE MASTERS WON'T
GUARANTEE MEMBERSHIP.
JACK NICKLAUS AND ARNOLD PALMER
ARE THE ONLY TWO MASTERS WINNERS
TO HAVE GOTTEN IN.
TIGER WOODS?
AUGUSTA TREATS TIGER LIKE
CINDERELLA.
HE CAN HAVE FUN IN THAT JACKET
UNTIL THE CLOCK STRIKES MIDNIGHT
AND THEN EVERYBODY AT THAT PARTY
ASKS HIM TO BRING THEIR CARS
AROUND.
HE MAY NOT HAVE A MEMBERSHIP,
BUT HE HAS THEIR ATTENTION.
THAT'S WHY THEY TRIED SO HARD TO
HUMBLE HIM.
TIGER DESTROYED THE COURSE IN
1997 AND HAD THE NERVE TO SAY
IT WASN'T THAT HARD.
LOOK WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.
>> AFTER TIGER WOODS OWNED
AUGUSTA OVER A DECADE AGO,
THEY HAD TO TIGERPROOF IT.
>> HE WON BY 12 SHOTS,
THEY TIGERPROOFED THE COURSE.
>> MANY SAY THAT AUGUSTA
HAS BEEN TIGERPROOFED.
>> YEAH.
THEY'VE LENGTHENED IT AND
ADDED SOME TREES THAT TIGER USED
TO HIT IT OVER.
>> Bomani: TIGERPROOFING?
THAT SOUNDS LIKE WHAT SIGFRIED
AND ROY FORGOT TO DO THAT ONE
NIGHT.
YOU KNOW YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR
WHEN THEY DON'T LAUGH
THAT HARD AND THEN CLAP.
THE WALL STREET JOURNAL FIGURED
OUT AUGUSTA HAS SPENT ABOUT
$200 MILLION BUYING UP
PROPERTIES AROUND THE CLUB.
ALL SO THEY COULD HAVE MORE
CONTROL.
NOW SEE, THIS IS AUGUSTA
NATIONAL.
THE ONLY SIGN OF LIFE
IN A CONCRETE DESERT.
LOOK AT THE REST OF THE
NEIGHBORHOOD, LOOKING LIKE KEVIN
DURANT'S LEG.
HEY, AUGUSTA, PUT SOME LOTION
ON YOUR CITY!
BUT WHY ARE THE RICHEST PEOPLE,
MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE, MOST
IMPERVIOUS PEOPLE TRYING TO
IMPRESS US?
AT THE END OF THE DAY,
THE MASTERS IS A PUBLIC
RELATIONS EFFORT.
BECAUSE DEEP DOWN, THE ONE
PERCENT WANT US TO LOVE THEM.
EVEN IF WE DON'T KNOW WHO THE
FUCK THEY ARE.
AND I CAN'T EVEN KNOCK IT.
BECAUSE IT WORKS.
>> WHEN YOU'RE COMING UP
THE ROAD TO THE CLUB.
>> MAGNOLIA LANE.
>> OH, MY GOD, IT'S JUST
INCREDIBLE.
>> SO MANY PEOPLE I KNEW WHO
LOVED GOLF AND IDOLIZED
GOLF...WHAT THEY WOULD PAY TO BE
IN THAT POSITION.
>> FIRST TIME I PLAYED IT, IT
WAS THE MOST NERVE WRACKING
THING I'VE EVER DONE.
>> WHY?
>> JUST BECAUSE OF WHAT IT IS.
>> WHEN PEOPLE SAY, TOM, WHAT'S
THE CITY OF AUGUSTA LIKE,
WHAT DO YOU TELL THEM?
>> [SINGING]
♪ I FEEL GOOD ♪
JAMES BROWN.
>> Bomani: HIT ME!
SEE, SOMEONE KNOWS
THE GODFATHER OF SOUL IS FROM
AUGUSTA TOO.
FOR SEVEN DAYS A YEAR, THEY LET
US FEEL LIKE WE'RE PART OF THE
CLUB.
THEN AT SUNSET ON SUNDAY?
IF YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY,
TAKE YO BROKE ASS HOME!
BUT THEY NEED TO APPEASE US.
BECAUSE THERE'S MORE OF US THAN
THEM AND WHO DO YOU THINK IS
FIRST UP AGAINST THE WALL
COME THE REVOLUTION?
"THE MASTERS," AND EVERYTHING
THEY REPRESENT.
>> TALK YO SHIT!
>> Bomani: DAMN RIGHT.
THIS IS WHY WE CAN
ALLOW OURSELVES TO WATCH THE
MASTERS YEAR AFTER YEAR.
BECAUSE THE FLEX IS A FRONT.
THEY MAKE THE COURSE LOOK JUST
LIKE HEAVEN BECAUSE THEY KNOW
THEY'RE HEADED STRAIGHT TO HELL.
THE MASTERS IS JUST SUBWAY
SELLING PIMENTO CHEESE
SANDWICHES AFTER THE JARED
SCANDAL.
KEEP THE SANDWICHES
APPROXIMATELY A FOOT LONG,
AND WE'LL PRETEND YOU DON'T
DISGUST US.
AND THE MASTERS ISN'T ALONE
IN THIS.
IN FEBRUARY, LIV GOLF
INVESTMENTS ANNOUNCED A NEW
SAUDI ARABIAN-BACKED GOLF LEAGUE
FRONTED BY GREG NORMAN.
AND JUST LIKE THE SHARK,
PHIL MICKELSEN BLEW IT
AT THE END.
HE SAID THE QUIET PART OUT LOUD
ABOUT HIS BENEFACTORS.
>> THEY'RE SCARY BLANKS TO GET
INVOLVED WITH.
WE KNOW THEY KILLED KHASHOGGI.
THE REPORTER.
AND HAVE A HORRIBLE RECORD ON
HUMAN RIGHTS.
THEY EXECUTE PEOPLE OVER THERE
FOR BEING GAY.
KNOWING ALL OF THIS, WHY WOULD I
EVEN CONSIDER IT?
BECAUSE THIS IS A
ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY
TO RESHAPE HOW THE PGA TOUR
OPERATES.
>> Bomani: SO YOU CAN SEE WHY
PHIL WON'T BE AT THE MASTERS
THIS WEEK.
HIS MISTAKE WAS STARTING WITH
THE BAD SHIT.
ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS TAKE ALL
THAT DIRTY OIL MONEY,
SHUT UP, STAGE THE PERFECT
TOURNAMENT, AND NOT LET PEOPLE
KNOW THAT THE SAUDIS HAVE
SOMETHING IN COMMON WITH THE
PEOPLE BEHIND THE MASTERS.
THROUGH HISTORY.
PHIL MICKELSON IS NO JIM NANTZ.
AND THAT'S WHY THE SAUDIS AND
THE MASTERS TOLD PHIL THE SAME
EXACT THING,
"SHUT YOUR ASS UP!"
MOST OF US ARE NEVER GOING TO
SEE THE INCREDIBLE PRODUCTION
THAT IS THE MASTERS,
SO AT "GAME THEORY," WE GOT OUR
OWN FLEX AND WE ARE THROWING OUR
OWN TOURNAMENT ON THE SHADY,
DIRTY STREETS OF NEW YORK CITY.
[APPLAUSE]
AND UNLIKE AUGUSTA,
EVERYBODY'S INVITED.
MAY WE PRESENT THE STREET
MASTERS.
WELCOME BACK TO LIVE COVERAGE OF
THE 2022 STREET MASTERS, THE
ONLY TOURNAMENT ANYONE CAN PLAY
IN, EVEN SOMEONE WALKING BY.
DO YOU WANT TO GET IN THIS GOLF
TOURNAMENT?
>> STREET GOLF LEGEND TIGER HOOD
IS TAKING ON JAMES DAVIS AND
THEY ARE TIDE.
IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THIS.
>> WHAT TIME ARE YOU STARTING
THIS SHIT?
>> THE FIRST ONE TO GET IT IN
WINS THE TOURNAMENT.
IT COULD TAKE FIVE SECONDS OR
FIVE OUTS.
NOBODY KNOWS.
>> THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO
SPECIAL.
IT'S NOT PRETENTIOUS LIKE THE
OTHER TOURNAMENT IN A GUSTO.
>> THE WORD ON THE STREET IS
THAT THE MASTERS PUMPS AND AUDIO
OF BIRD SOUNDS TO ADD TO THE
AMBIENCE OF THE TV BROADCAST.
HERE, YOU WILL HEAR JUST ABOUT
EVERYTHING.
>> FUCK OUT OF THE STREET!
>> I WOULD THINK THE FAMOUS
CHEESE SANDWICHES COULDN'T BE
TOPPED.
BOY, WAS I WRONG.
>> WE SERVE WHOLE ASS MAIN
LOBSTERS.
>> AUGUSTA NATIONAL MIGHT HAVE
ITS BEAUTIFUL AZALEA THAT LINE
THE FAIRWAYS, HERE WE HAVE
BODEGA FLOWERS.
THEY ARE TEEING OFF ON THE 18TH
HOLE.
>> LET'S GO TO FLYOVER CAM.
OVER FIVE BAGS OF PIZZA BOXES,
DIAPERS.
>> IF YOUR BALL GETS THERE, IT
BELONGS TO THE STREETS.
>> DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S WATER OR
PISS.
THIS IS TIGER'S LAST FALL.
LET'S WATCH A REPLAY BROUGHT TO
YOU BY MY BROTHER'S KID WHO
KNOWS HOW TO DO ALL THAT SHIT
WITH HIS iPHONE.
CONGRATULATIONS, TIGER HOOD.
WE WILL PRESENT THE WINNER WITH
THE JAMES BROWN MEMORIAL GREEN
CAPE.
I FEEL GOOD.
>> FABULOUS.
>> FOR BEN LIONS AND TIGER HOOD,
I AM BOMANI JONES.
PEACE OUT.
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bomani: THAT'S BEEN OUR
SHOW TONIGHT.
WE HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT AT HOME.
HOW DO I FEEL ABOUT IT?
TELL 'EM.
>> I FEEL GOOD!
>> Bomani: YOU SHOULD CHANGE
YOUR NAME TO QANON BECAUSE ONLY
THE CRAZIEST MOTHERFUCKERS I
KNOW BELIEVE IN YOU.
>> THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
>> WE HAVE NOT FOUND IT YET.
IT'S ALL FAIR GAME WITH RACHEL
DOLEZAL.
>> I WENT TO HOWARD WITH HER.
SHE WAS WHITE THEN.
>> WHAT'S OFF-LIMITS?
>> YO MAMA.
>> WHAT IF HIS MAMA'S SO FAT
JAMES HARDEN WANTS TO WEAR HER
TO GET OUT OF PHILLY.
>> SO YOU'RE SAYING ALL IS FAIR
AS LONG AS IT'S HIGH-QUALITY?
>> IF IT'S A GOOD BURN, YOU'VE
GOT TO EAT IT.
TAKE IT HOME.
IT'S NOT WRONG.