.
- I don't know, I just never learned cursive.
- What? How?
- What does your signature look like?
- All caps. - Wild.
- [groans] Come on, get out of there.
[groans]
[panting]
[tense music]
* *
Was I supposed to leave it up there forever?
[chuckles]
I mean, I will, you know, if you just tell me to.
I'm an ally.
- * Whoop, whoop *
* Cabernet and sauvignon *
* Team is here and now it's on *
* Carry on and Carignan, sippin' on Perignon *
* Fine wine, got notes like a cello *
* Pull up in the spot like hello *
* If you got me, then I got you *
* This is the vibe, this is the crew *
* Grand crew, grand crew, uh *
* Grand crew, grand crew, grand crew, uh *
* Grand crew *
* *
- Noah's back in these streets. Tony's back in these streets.
The whole single squad is back, baby.
Whoa.
But also, I am sorry for y'all recent heartbreaks.
- No need to apologize.
The past couple weeks have been a little rough at home,
but I recently realized something.
You can't be sad at home
if you're never at home to get sad.
- So you're what? Just out all day?
- Yeah, I'm not going back home until I'm over Simone.
- What does your therapist think about all of this?
- I'll catch him up next week when I'm all better, bro.
- Okay, Noah. Do your thing.
- Anthony, how are you doing since things ended with Talia?
[phone chimes] - Oh, I'm good.
- He hasn't said a word about the breakup to anyone.
- Look, Anthony and I, we built different.
We move on.
I've seen him deal with breakups before.
If he says he's good, he's good.
- Actual and factual.
- And you know who you need to move on with?
Neighbor bae. - Okay, who's neighbor bae?
- Oh, this hot girl who lives in their building.
They've never talked to her. They know nothing about her.
- That's a lie. We know her and Anthony
have undeniable chemistry.
[elevator bell rings]
- [clears throat]
- That's all that happened? She waved?
- You had to be there. It was a very sexual wave.
* *
- So Fay, you're single, and Anthony's single.
- Yeah, so?
- So you think you two gonna ever, you know?
- Nicky, this is unlike you. Let me take it from here.
Y'all gonna [bleep]?
- [laughs] Thanks, Wyatt.
- You guys need to chill.
Being Anthony's rebound would be way too messy.
Plus, I'm still looking for a rebound myself.
- [laughs] Rebound?
Are you telling me
that you haven't had sex since your divorce?
- Shh, keep it down.
- That is not that big of a deal.
How long you been divorced?
- 18 months. - Oh, my God!
- Calm down. - Calm down?
With all the batteries you been wasting? Damn.
- I know. It's terrible, but... [sighs]
I don't know. All the guys I dated, they're just too nice.
I had a really great time. - I did, too,
which is why I'm not gonna kiss you or touch you
or make any moves because I respect you.
- [sighs]
- You're not gonna like this,
but you need the opposite of a nice guy.
- [groans] You don't mean...
- Oh, yes. I mean a jerk.
[French accent] Le douchebag.
A purebred dog.
- [groans] I think you might be right.
Damn. - Yeah.
Let's get you a big dog. [dog barks]
* *
- Yo, Anthony, what's wrong with you, man?
Did you hear my question?
- Sorry. I was just responding to a work email.
What'd you ask? - I said,
you think LeBron James is happy?
Like truly happy?
- I do, actually.
- Cool. Me too.
[gasps] [whispers] Neighbor bae, neighbor bae,
neighbor bae, neighbor bae. - Chill. I see her.
- Another sexual wave. - Chill.
- Hey. - Hey.
- What's up?
- I don't think we've officially met.
I'm Lanice. - I'm Anthony.
- I'm Big Sherm.
- My roommate and I are actually having a party
at our place tonight. You should come through.
- Uh, that sounds awesome, but, um, I can't make it.
I have work.
- Well, if you get done with your work,
maybe I'll see you.
[door opens and closes]
- Man, what--what was that for? - You know what it was for.
* *
[doorbell rings]
- Hey, hey, hey. - Hey, boo.
- Aw, hey, babe.
Thank you so much for letting me crash at your place.
My apartment's plumbing will be fixed in about a week,
but I just can't stay any longer with this fool.
- Call me fool one more time and see what happens.
- Ain't nothing gonna happen,
or it already would've happened.
- Then say it again.
Say fool one more time.
[tense music]
* *
- Whatever. I'ma get my bags.
- Holy [bleep]. That was wild.
- Yeah, you really saved me by taking him in.
Speaking of which, are you sure that you want to take him in?
- Yeah, it's only for a week, and he's my boyfriend.
- Well, living together forces you to compromise,
and you two, I'm sorry to say, are very uncompromising people.
- Do you want me to take him or not?
- I do. I do. Forget everything I just said.
Thank you.
Michael, get your ass down here! Damn!
* *
- All settled in, my boo. [chuckles]
Is it cool if I play some video games?
- Oh, yeah, sure. I'm just knocking out some work.
Go play your little Nintendo. - You're the best.
- [laughs] No, you're the best.
- No, you're the best. - No, you're the best.
- [laughs]
[deep voice] No, you're the best.
[laughs] [metal scraping]
Uh-oh. What are you doing? - Huh?
Oh, it's a VR system, so I just some space to play.
Is that a problem? - Oh, um...
[chuckles] Of course not.
[laughter]
[metal scraping]
- [sighs]
Let's go!
Flank him!
* *
- I can't believe you turned down Neighbor Bae
after we finally learned her real name.
- Yet you still call her "Neighbor Bae."
- I don't use anybody's real name
the first year I meet them.
I used to call you "Veggie Burger."
- And I really didn't like that.
Look, I'm sorry, but you can still go tonight.
- And be known as the weird neighbor
that shows up to a party by himself?
You'd really do that to me?
- [groans] [phone chimes]
- Look, I can help you with your work.
I'm a quick study, and I know numbers.
5, 12, 3.1415926-- - You know what?
I'm in. - Really?
- Yes. - Hey, let's get it, Veggie B.
- Hey. - Veggie B, Veggie B, Veggie B.
- That's me. both: Veggie B, Veggie B,
.
[phone rings]
- Yo. - Yo.
I'm done with work. You still want to party?
- Definitely. - Cool.
Let me call Noah and Wyatt. - Word.
- Yo. - Yo.
Party tonight at Neighbor Bae's.
Want to come? - I'm in.
- As long as it's out, you know I'm in.
Can you pick me up at Calabasas?
- You walked all the way to Calabasas?
- You know it. [laughs]
- * Situations *
* Will arise *
* In our lives *
* But you got to be smart about it *
* Celebrations *
* With the guys *
* I sacrifice *
* 'Cause I knew you could not sleep without it *
* Meanwhile I *
* I loved you *
* You were my girl *
* You don't have to call *
* It's okay, girl *
* 'Cause I'ma be all right tonight *
* *
- [screams] Hi-yah!
My brother in arms,
together, we will save Nebulon!
- Michael, please.
- Damn, wow. How'd I get all the way over here?
This really is an immersive experience.
- Hey, do you mind being just a little bit more quiet
while you defend Newbulars?
- It's Nebulon, and the game is
"Nebulon Nine: The Last Nebuli."
And it's awesome. - Cool.
- Oh, I see. You're annoyed.
- No, I'm not annoyed.
Um, I think I'm trying to say that the game is dumb,
loud, and... - Wow.
- I hate this part of your personality.
- All right, well, you know what?
The only way to resolve this
is for you to enter "Nebulon Nine."
- Oh, no. I don't have time.
- But, Nicole. - What?
- The entire unified intergalactic
tribunal diaspora depends on you.
- They definitely don't. - [scoffs]
Just play the game, and if you don't like it,
I won't play it for as long as I'm here.
- Mm. - Come on.
- Prepare for intergalactic battle!
- Babe, you just united the entire Rack-Nack Galaxy.
That's so freakin' hot. - Yeah?
- Oh, yeah. - [moans]
- Oh, come here. - Oh, ooh.
- I want to pick up your leg. - Oh, yeah.
- Oh, oh. - Oh, yeah.
- Thanks for meeting me at such a late hour at the last second
around the corner from our spot.
I'm sorry I didn't respond to your text
until, like, 30 minutes ago.
- Oh, it's fine. You're perfect.
[laughter]
- Nice and you're, like...cool body.
- Thanks.
Um, would you want to get out of here, actually?
- For real? Just like that?
- Yeah. Is that weird? - No, it's great.
Almost too great. Who put you up to this?
- What?
- It was my girlfriend, wasn't it?
- You have a girlfriend?
- Uh-uh, you're not fooling me.
You can tell Monica I passed the test this time.
- What?
* *
- I'm just gonna say it. There are not enough chairs
for the amount of people in this party.
- Are you really already complaining about a party
that you begged me to go to?
- I'm just saying, people need to have a place to sit.
- Okay, who wants a drink?
Noah. - [gasps]
What's up? Y'all sleeping?
- No, you were sleeping, standing up.
Maybe you should go home. - No.
Home is where the heart is, and right now, heart hurts.
I'm out, baby. I'ma take a nap.
I mean, a lap. I'ma take a lap.
- Should we be worried about him?
- No. We worry about Noah all the damn time.
Let him figure this one out.
- So you guys just gonna be weird
and stand in the corner all night?
- Well, we ain't got a place to sit.
- I was actually about to grab a drink.
Can I get you one? - I'll come with.
- It's happening. It's actually happening, Wyatt.
- Why are you so surprised?
I thought you said that there was a vibe.
- I lied. There was no vibe at all,
but now, it's real.
What's wrong?
- I was cleaning my wedding ring earlier,
and I forgot to put it back on.
- Okay, so what's the big deal?
- The big deal is that all these single women
are gonna think that I'm back on the market.
I have married swag, and without the ring,
it's just swag.
- You dramatic. That ain't a thing.
- Hey. I'm Alexis. What your name?
* *
- Rosé for the lady. - Oh, thanks.
- Oh, what's this?
One of those fake-ass reality shows?
- "Immediately Married" is not fake.
They really get married immediately.
- Mm. Sounds horrible. - [laughs]
I seem to remember someone saying,
"You can't make fun of it until you try it."
- You talking about the man in the mirror, huh?
- Yeah. I'm asking for him to make a change.
- To immediately have and hold
through immediate sickness and immediate health
till death do you immediately part.
- I immediately do. - I immediately do.
- I love this show. - Immediately.
- I can't believe Pauline wants five kids.
- Really? I think five is,
like, the perfect amount of kids.
You can have a band. You can have a basketball team.
The Jackson Five, that's five kids.
How many kids you want? - Two.
I like things in twos, like shoes, boobs,
the Olsen Twins,
the "Sister Act" movies. - I guess that means
we're on kind of different pages here, huh?
- Yeah.
- [gasps] How about this?
Four kids. - Four kids?
- All right, that's two sets of two, okay?
And if we want to do the band or the basketball team,
I can just hop in. I can play hoop.
I can play bass. - Yeah.
- I can be the fifth member. - Two kids, two spare kids.
I'm in. [laughs]
- Can I get your number?
- I'm sorry, I'm married.
- Hey, what's your story? [chuckles]
- Look at my man, using a tiny-ass table as a chair.
It's a tragedy. - Yo, Sherm.
This is Lanice's roommate, CJ, and her girlfriend Gabby.
- Hey. Nice to meet you, Sherm.
- CJ, nice to meet you. So this is your place, huh?
And you've never thrown a party before.
- What? - Nothing.
You need more chairs. - A group of us
are gonna hit up this karaoke spot that's open 24/7
'cause, you know, I ain't going home.
You want to roll? - No, man.
I'ma go home and sit down.
- All right, bet. Peace, dude.
- Good night, y'all.
- I'm getting too much attention without my ring.
I got to get out of here. - Hey. Hey.
- All right, man. I'm down to roll.
- Okay, I'll get Anthony. - No. Whoa, whoa, whoa, man.
Why y'all always got to act so damn married?
You don't interrupt a man when he's in his element.
I got this.
- * Boy, are you trippin' *
- They gonna hook up. We're good to go.
.
- Yo, can you believe Noah is in Reno?
- Seven! Yeah, this is way better than being home!
[laughs]
- Man, stop using Noah's crazy ass
to distract from telling me what happened with Neighbor Bae
last night. Give me the juice.
- Oh, no, no, no. I'd rather not talk about it.
- Oh, come on, man. I don't need a full cup.
[British accent] Just give me one little
spot of tea please. - Fine.
So things started out good.
Party was winding down and then she asked me to go to her room.
Then it was on. - My man.
- I just told you it doesn't end well.
- I'm sorry. I'm just invested in
the ups and downs of the story. Now, what went wrong?
- Well, eventually as we were hooking up,
the music switched to a very particular song.
- * Never thought that we would ever be *
* More than friends *
- Oh, no. That's a breakup anthem.
- Well, I tried to push through,
but eventually the song just got the best of me,
and my emotions just came out.
- Oh, damn. So you cried in front of her.
- No, no, I cried,
but I didn't cry in front of her.
- I--I don't understand.
- Okay. Um...ah.
You know how when you go to the bakery,
you typically order your pastries
at the front counter?
- Absolutely. - Yeah, yeah, I know,
but if the baker really likes you,
then sometimes, they'll invite you to the kitchen.
- Hmm.
- To taste some special pastries in the back.
- Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh. [laughs]
So you was eating in the back of the bakery.
- Yes. I was eating in the back of the bakery.
- Yeah.
Wait a second.
Does that mean...
- You cried in the back of the bakery?
- You told everybody?
- You couldn't expect me to keep this a secret.
It's too good. - [sighs] Whatever.
Can we please stop talking about this now?
- No. I have so many more follow-up questions.
- Yeah. - Same.
- Like what did she say and how did this whole situation end?
- Well, I didn't technically end it.
- How? - What?
- If I left the kitchen,
she would have known something was up.
- So you stayed in the back of the bakery?
- Yes, I stayed in the back of the bakery.
- And she didn't notice?
- I mean, I don't think I would notice.
There's no way to see what's going on back there.
- You know what? I'm actually surprised.
I never took you for a "back of the bakery" type of dude.
- You guys aren't? - Ooh, I only visit
the back of the bakery on special occasions,
like birthdays, the Queen's funeral...
- I don't want to get too deep into
my relationship with Kristen,
but I will say I have never cried while eating [bleep].
- Okay, we're done here.
* *
- So Fay, how was your date last night with the dog?
Did you get some?
- Nope, he thought it was a trap.
- Hey, just wanted to tell you that the cab you recommended?
Fantastic. - Oh, the Argentinian?
- Yeah, it was delicious. Full body.
- Excuse me.
How would feel about going on a date with my friend?
- Nicky. - What?
- Sorry about her. - No, it's cool.
I would love to, but... - You're married.
- No. I'm very single, but I'm not from here.
And I leave town tomorrow,
and I don't think I'll ever be coming back.
- Really? - Perfect.
Just breathe. Listen to me.
Take the next flight out.
Call me when you land, okay? Yup. Bye.
Oh, fun story.
My brother had a nervous breakdown
at the Grand Canyon.
- It be like that sometimes.
Yo, this cheesesteak is about to be banging.
I ain't had a Steak-umm in a minute.
- I know. It's a classic, right?
Chop up the meat, babe.
- Oh, no, you don't have to chop up a Steak-umm.
- What? That's what makes a cheesesteak a cheesesteak.
You chop up the meat.
- No. What makes a cheesesteak a cheesesteak
is the cheese on the steak, okay?
- Who doesn't chop up a Steak-umm?
- Okay, well, now it's about to get silly,
and we don't wanna have a fight here.
- No. - And we know how to deal
with it, so we're just gonna do it my way.
- Absolutely not. We'll do it my way.
- I would rather die.
Okay.
Compromise here.
We'll just bust open another pack.
Make one your way, make one my way.
- No, that's a waste of food and money.
- Money's meant to be spent. - Do you not have savings?
- What? Absolutely not.
We could all die tomorrow.
Cash is worthless in the casket.
Look it up.
- I can't marry someone without savings.
- Marry? Who said anything about marriage?
I am never getting married.
- We just had a conversation about having four kids.
- You can have four kids and not be married.
Just ask my buddy Pookie.
- Just chop up the damn Steak-umm.
- Oh, now, we yellin', huh?
- We been yellin'. You wanna know what else?
"Nebulon Nine" sucks. - [gasps]
Say that again, and it's immediately over.
- "Nebulon Nine"...
sucks! - [gasps]
Wow.
.
- Man, I'm sorry for encouraging you
and Neighbor Bae. I feel like everything
that's happened has been my fault.
- No. None of it was your fault.
To be honest, the breakup with Talia and I
was a bit more complicated than I let on.
- How so?
- Well, uh...
she found out that Fay had feelings for me,
and then I admitted that at a certain point,
I had feelings for Fay too.
- Wow.
Okay, so what's up? You still got feelings for Fay?
- I think she's great,
but my feelings were before Talia and I got together,
and honestly, going through this situation, man,
made me realize that
getting involved with a friend is just a bad idea.
- That's real.
Well, hey, man,
you know, you can always come and talk to me.
- I appreciate that. Thanks.
- Oh, and just as a heads up,
I'm gonna give this about two weeks,
but after that,
I'm gonna roast you nonstop.
- Bro, you've already roasted me so much.
- I know.
* *
- This was fun. - It really was.
- So if I'm being honest, I really want to hook up,
but I'm not looking for a commitment.
- I leave the city tonight, so that sounds good to me.
- Great.
* *
- You're so sexy. - You're so sexy.
- So...
can I eat a little piece of your skin?
- What? - I mean, not important skin.
You know, just the extra stuff.
Let me exfoliate you. - Oh.
[laughter] - Wait. He really said that?
- He really did. [laughter]
- Oh, man. People be cannibals out here.
- So how are you doing?
- Mm.
You know, I actually wanna talk to you about that.
I've been holding in a lot.
And then I talked to Sherm, and it made me realize
how much better it felt to talk things out.
So I thought I should let you know
that Talia and I broke up because of you.
- What?
- She found out that you had feelings for me,
and then she asked me if I had feelings for you.
And I didn't want to lie, so I told her that I used to.
Then she ended things.
- Why would you tell me that?
- I thought it would be better to be open and honest.
- For who?
What, am I supposed to feel bad now?
- No, no.
- Are you telling me that you like me?
- I just didn't want things to be weird.
- Well, they're weird now.
* *
- [sighs]
* *
- Nicky, what you doing here?
- Michael and I broke up.
- Oh, no. I'm sorry. Are you okay?
- Yeah. You were right.
Neither of us was willing to compromise.
We're two very hardheaded people,
but we're both better off.
- Well, I'm glad then, but why'd you come all the way
over here to tell me that? Oh, my God, no.
- Hey, what's up, bro?
I'm just gonna set up in the same room.
- I am so sorry, Wyatt.
- I just really wanted it to work.
I loved him living with you.
- I know, but you...
you're gonna make it through this.
See you later.
- Nicky, don't leave. - Sorry.
- Oh. Hi.
- Hey. [clears throat]
- Did you cry in my...
- Yeah.
- Not a doctor. Shh.