[Willie] Previously on Heels...
[Jack] I told Aceabout the Kleenex.
-[Staci] What'd he say?-[Jack] The whole thing
was a little bit of a blur.
[Ace] I'm gonnafucking kill you!
I may not deserve it, butif you give me another chance
I promise I'm nevergonna let you down again.
[Wild Bill] You wanna be seen?You cannot rely on others
who want the focus on them.
[Bunny] Hey, Ace!
[Gully]Your new DWL champion is
the valet,
Bunny Bombshell--accordingto Jack Spade's logic,
I guess anybodycan just grab the belt.
[Wild Bill] Jack,you need my expertise.
You don't know, really,what the fuck you're doing.
[Constance] You must introduceme to Wild Bill.
[Jack] Bill, this is Constance.She booked us for the fair.
You are a wise woman,Constance.
-[Constance chuckles]-[Jack] You got suspended?
[Staci] You can't hit peopleout of anger.
[Thomas] Dad hit Uncle Aceat the hospital.
[Staci] Jack, each actionand each situation,
you could've resisted.You embraced 'em.
You fucking leaned in.
[Ace] You act likeyou're some kind of genius.
You ruined my fucking life.
[Staci] Tomorrow's a new day.
You could talk to him more.
[Ace] This is Ace.Leave a message,
-and I'll hit you back.-[phone beeps]
[Carol] Thatta boy, Ace.
Thatta boy.
[dramatic music]
[mellow rock music plays]
♪ ♪
[singer]♪ I'm not waiting for ♪
♪ The answer ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I will ♪
♪ Walk in the shore ♪
♪ To find you ♪
♪ To find ♪
♪ The peace that's your own ♪
♪ Where you come from ♪
♪ All that you want ♪
♪ ♪
♪ One that's your own ♪
♪ Place to call home ♪
♪ Won't be ♪
♪ Granted ♪
♪ What is fair in love ♪
♪ Is fair in war ♪
♪ ♪
♪ What is fair in love ♪
♪ Is fair in war ♪
♪ One ♪
♪ To one ♪
♪ What's love ♪
♪ In war? ♪
♪ ♪
["Gimme Shelter"by The Rolling Stones playing]
♪ ♪
[singing along ] ♪ OohThe storm is threatenin' ♪
♪ My very life today ♪
♪ If I don't get some shelter ♪
♪ Ooh, yeahI'm gonna fade away ♪
[The Rolling Stones]♪ War, children ♪
♪ It's just a shot awayIt's just a shot away, war ♪
[Brian] Hey, Willie,it's Brian from Mayorca Beer.
Uh, couldn't make the show,but heard the news.
Congratulations.
Now let's square up,uh, accounts
now that you're flush.
I'm around all day.Give me a call.
Oops, must've missedyour message, Brian,
you perky fake fuck.
[Reggie] Willie,Reggie from Connors Roofing.
Tell Jack I gotta get paid.It's been eight months.
[Willie] Never a lid.Never a lid.
-Lids just vanish.-[sighs]
See you guys tonight.No idea when.
Hey, hug.
In two years,I'll be off to college,
-and you'll miss me.-[Willie] Really?
Get your grades up,or you won't sniff a college
you can go away to.
[Ted] Have fun at work, hon.
[Robin] I thoughtshe was quittin' the DWL.
Me too, love.Me too.
[phone vibrating]
-What's wrong?-[Staci] Hey.
Sorry, no one died.
But I just got an alertabout a county highway meetin'
on the family calendar, so...
[Jack sighs]Sorry, I keep clicking
on the wrong calendar.
No worries.We all do it.
The county's taking bids,
but they moved that meetin'to the 11th.
Jack, today's the 11th.
Fuck!
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Shit!God damn it!
Just calland say you overslept.
Jack, you're okay.
Jack, you there?
Yeah, no, I'm here,in our home.
I'm just not where I should be,which is selling
industrial fucking lawnmowers,God damn it!
I'm sorry.I love you.
Shit!
[Staci]Jack, they love you there.
So don't rush.Also, I wanna remind you
we gotta meet withThomas' principal tomorrow
to discussthe punching incident.
It's also onthe shared family calendar--
-the purple one.-[engine starts]
Timmy's got me scheduledto open the shop tomorrow
if I'm not fired today.
Thomas is suspendeduntil we meet with the school.
Well, do we bothhave to be there?
Because I took offtoo much time for the fair,
and my leverage has dwindled.
[Staci] Both parentsneed to be there.
Well, then I'll be there.
Jack, you sell more lawnmowersthan anyone else
at that company.
Chisel that onto my gravestone.
[Staci] Drive safely.Call me later.
I will.
[spits]
So nice to go on a runwith you.
Sorry, I just--I needed to run hard, think,
then run and not think.
You and Thomas can stay hereas long as you need.
What's up?
Oh, Jack just addeda work meeting
on the shared family calendar.
I was afraid he'd miss it,so I called him.
You're nicerthan I would've been.
[Staci] Not really.
Poor guy's always doingthree things at once.
He's--I feel for the guy.
He's...
he's my guy still.
We just...
gotta find our wayback to each other.
[soft dramatic music]
♪ ♪
Hey, you and I need to talk.
Where are you?
Why?You bringin' over croissants?
-[Willie] You wish.-That's why I suggested it.
[Willie] I just wannamake sure that last night,
when we were talking,you weren't blackout drunk
or high as shit, because if youand I are gonna work together,
we really need to be--you know.
No, I wasn't high last night.
You're whispering.
You've got some chippyin your bed, don't ya?
A lady, not a chippy.Her name's Constance.
I believe you've met.
You banged Constance,the fair commissioner?
Perhaps I did.Perhaps I did not.
Which would you prefer?
Oh, my God!That dirty, dirty bird.
[Wild Bill] She's quite nice--and the reason we got the fair.
Correction--I'm the reason we got the fair.
Yeah, okay, well, she stillowes us our appearance fee.
So you tell that dirty bird--
Hey! Slut-shamer.Stop calling her that.
I will call that trampy littleknob-gobbler whatever I want.
Get her to get me a check.
I've got countless overduebills I gotta pay today.
Happy to be of service.
You've serviced nothingbut that dirty Tweety's twat.
Get her up out of bed and gether flapping her wings my way.
And if her checkdoesn't bounce,
maybe you'll getsome goddamn croissants.
Chocolat, s'il vous plait.Merci.
[chuckles]
Oh, God damn it.
[door bell jingles]
[sighs]
[door opens, closes]
[customer] Thank you.
Oh, uh, I'd likethe restroom key, please.
You gotta buy something,thank you.
Um, I'll get just the key--would be great.
Key's for peoplewho buy something.
I bought four Cokes at aGas 'N' Break five hours back.
I didn't sell you those Cokes.
Each Gas 'N' Break'sa franchise.
Profits from those Cokesare in the register
of the Gas 'N' Breakfive hours back, not mine.
Well, yeah, but come on, man.
You guys draft off each other,right?
Makes sense thatif I buy X amount of liquid
at Gas Break A, I should beable to use the restroom
at Gas Break B.
People lie all the time.
I got the empty Cokes
and the receipt in my Volvoto prove it.
I'm just tryin'to piss it back out.
Y'all gotta come up with somesort of sales QR tracking code
or some shit,so we're not debatin'
a man's rightto relieve himself.
Sir, I'm notin the restroom business.
If you wanna piss outtheir Cokes,
drive back, piss outtheir Cokes in their restroom,
or you could buya new Coke here.
I'll loan you my key.
I got Coke,Cherry Coke, Coke Zero.
Stick 'em all up your ass, sir.
-[pee trickling]-[sighs]
[owner]You gon' wash that all away.
[scoffs]
[whispers] This fucking...
That's it. Now git.
For good.
[grumbling]
[engine starts]
[classic rock musicplays over stereo]
[stereo clicks off]
[sneers]
[soft music]
First time I kissed a manwith a moustache.
Ooh, so last nightwas your first time
-riding one too?-[laughs]
You took to it pretty well.
-[laughs]-If you need me today,
-I'll be at my chiropractor.-[laughs]
-[groans]-[laughs]
Don't tell WillieI forgot the check
because you seduced me.
How 'bout we go to my big,empty house next time?
Gets cold there, maybe you cancome by and warm me up.
I'll use my entire bodyas a giant blanket.
[both laugh]
Mmm. Mm.
[Wild Bill] Mmm.Mmm!
Would you like to touch itone more time before you go?
[Constance laughs]Not in a parking lot.
But definitely later.Call me.
[Wild Bill] Will do.
[Alex] Hey, guys,we've got Jim Freeman
with us today, author ofone of my favourite books,
The Journey is the Obstacle.
Jim, please.
Tell the folks about yourinspiration for writing it.
[Jim] Thanks, Alex.
So there's many an adagethat has led us astray.
Top of the list--
life's about the journey,not the destination.
-I say bullshit.-Right.
[Jim] Many of us are stuckon the wrong journey.
Yet we dawdle,because we've been taught
that we don't deservethe astonishing now.
You cannot create your ownversion of the astonishing now
if you're miredin making a foolish journey
seem meaningful.
The journey you've chosenis your obstacle.
[Alex] Yeah, totally.I can see that.
[Jim] If the journey you're onis not astonishing
in its spectacularity,
you must abandon itand start anew.
-[Alex] Mm.-[Jim] Each of us are called
to ignite journeys sparked
with the transcendent powerof the astonishing now.
But so many of usdon't answer.
Wake up!
Hey, Siri,define "transcendent."
[engine turns off]
[Bobby clapping]
Whoo, there's the champ!
-[chuckles]-Did you sleep
with that thing on?
Oh, I did not sleep.
I didn't want the feelingof that moment to end.
Didn't end.It is just starting.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, um,
Bobby,I just wanted to say...
thank youfor being in my corner.
I've never hadanyone in my corner.
Not like you.
It's dope.
Well, your corner'sa fun corner.
[both chuckle]
-[Jack] Hey!-[Willie] Hey!
[Jack] Amazing job last night.
[Willie]Well, last night's over.
Today,the wolves are at the door.
People thinkwe're flush with cash now.
Money from the fairis spoken for--
still got a mountainof unpaid bills.
We always knew the state fairwas gonna be a loss leader.
We did it to capitaliseon the buzz that we'd get.
Don't tell me why we did it.I know why we did it.
I also know a lot of that buzzpaints us as jabronis.
Gully's already cut two promos,saying our finish was bogus.
I already blew offall of Gully's heat.
[Willie] Get on Instagram,
'cause half our comments areDystopia marks mockin' us
-on our own page.-Let 'em.
Nobody ever gave a shit.Now they do.
That's good.
[chuckles]Not if we don't know
what we are doing.
Look, I got 50 texts--media, fans, sponsors--
possible momentum, butI got no-mentum with no plan
because the fair's finishwas not our plan.
-We're back to square one.-[Jack] No.
Mystery plus confusionequals ticket sales.
We're at, the very least,at square two.
Ticket sales?To what?
Look, I don't knowwhat I'm promotin'.
Is Crystal really champ?Bunny?
Is someone callingsomeone else out?
Maybe there'san in-ring interview
with Bill'sshit-stained tights.
I don't need a full script,just a gist,
just a sliver of a gist,something to promote.
We gotta pack the house, dude.We gotta pack it this week,
next week,and the week after that.
We gotta pack itover and over and over.
What the fuck is up with Ace?
'Cause he vanished last night.
I'm gonna go see himthis afternoon.
And do what, just have a laughabout how y'all almost
killed each other in the ring?
He heard the cheers.He knows what we achieved.
-It was greatness.-Well, good.
Maybe greatness can be achieveda second time
by inspiring some wordsto come out of your mouth,
about what the fuck happensnext?
Goin' to round everyone up.
[phone clacks, line rings]
[Ace] This is Ace.Leave a message,
-and I'll hit you back.-[line beeps]
Ace, look, I knowwe had an eventful endin'
to last night's show,and we hadn't talked yet.
I've been trying to reach out
and I'm sureyou're still sleepin'.
Willie's been up my assfor next week's show.
Look, just tell mewhat you wanna do.
And we'll do it.Okay?
Let's build offof what we accomplished--
together.
[phone beeps]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[Ricky] I think these boysgot something here.
I'd cut back on the road dates,build the business with them.
-You?-Only if you promise
your possum dronewill puke in Jack's face.
I'll shake on that right now.
Look, a lot of upside here,a lot of potential.
But they need a update--announcers, big screens
so the live housecan watch promos, vignettes,
interviews, maybe a podcast--gotta take it beyond the ring.
[Ricky] Look at you, Bill,wakin' up with ideas.
[Gully]Twitchin' her cottontail ass,
-so she got the belt.-[all chuckling]
[Gully] According to JackSpade's logic, I guess anybody
can just grab the belt.
They don't even need to bein the back.
They could be a bunny,a chipmunk,
or a palomino ponywith a braided tail.
That boy's neckmust be made of concrete.
Billy, you clobbered him.
Hurtin' him put a hopin my step.
Gully's gota good point, though.
It was a no-DQ match,but Crystal still wasn't in it.
Crystal won.They cheered.
You didn't seem this concerned
with Crystal winninglast night.
Eh, I just shotgunnedthree beers, bro.
I'm just saying.[chuckles]
In the light of day,we got some explainin' to do.
Hardcore fans won't respect usif we don't.
Now boys,it is what we make of it.
Maybe since Crystal'sBill's valet,
she won it for Bill.
You fixed it even better,Ricky.
Somebody bringbig daddy my belt.
[Jack]How are the hangovers, y'all?
Round of applausefor all of us!
-Yeah right!-[cheers and applause]
Willie!Debbie.
Everything that you didbehind the scenes--bravo.
You are seen.You are appreciated.
Thank you.
-[wrestler] Whoo.-[wrestler] Good job, ladies.
-[wrestler] That's right.-Ricky!
It's good to have you with uslast night.
You lent us your fansand your skillset.
-Thank you.-[wrestler] Amen!
-[wrestler] Ricky!-[wrestler] Whoo.
I hate that stupid heart thing,
almost as much as whenthey bow with praying hands.
[Jack] The Dad!
I-I didn't see your match,but Willie says you did good.
Thank you and congrats.
-[wrestler] Yeah.-[wrestler] All right, Dad.
[wrestler]Yo, he fucking killed it.
-[Crystal] All right, Dad.-[wrestler] Big Jim.
-[cheers and applause]-[Jack] Okay, he's back.
-[Crystal] Big Jim.-Talk to your wife.
Make it official.We're better with you here.
-[wrestler] Yes, sir.-[wrestler] Welcome back, Jim.
Sure hope these guys likegettin' paid in compliments,
'cause that's all we've gotleft to pay 'em with.
Bill.
You swallowedyour embarrassment,
and you kept the show goin'last night.
That gesture, that means a lot,
not just 'causeit benefitted us,
but for what it says about youas a friend to the DWL.
-Says I shoulda took a enema.-[laughter]
Crystal.
You launched yourselfinto the chaos last night
of some festeringSpade family drama.
And we only weathered it'cause of you.
It's 'cause of your guts.It's your instinct.
It's your heart.
I'm grateful for you.
Thank you.
[cheers and applause]
That shit was amazing.
Last but not leastis Ace Spade,
who's still sleepingapparently.
[scattered laughter]
When everything was gettin'crazy last night,
before Crystal saved the day,
Ace coulda climbed the ladder,grab the belt, but he didn't.
Okay?
'Cause he cares aboutthis here promotion.
DWL was resuscitated,
because Ace and I shook hands
on a vow of loyalty.
And for real bad reasons,I-I squandered that.
So if anyone here
has a problemwith Ace Spade...
...it started with me.
I deserve the blame,
because I puty'all's hard work at risk.
I'm sorry.
[soft dramatic music]
♪ ♪
I gotta write this week's show.
Crystal,
you're now a DWL wrestler.
-Welcome to the roster.-[cheers and applause]
Okay, for this week's card,
I gotta rewind a few thingsjust a little bit.
We're gonna invalidatethe results of the ladder match
due to technicalities,
build some heat,promote the shit out of it,
deliver killer stories.
I want y'all to stay sharp,stay tuned.
We survived.
Now, let's build on it.Thank you.
Jack, come on!
That shit's not fair!
I think I deserveway more than scraps.
It's bullshit thatI have to give up the belt
after holdin' it for one night.
I'm confused.
I should be able to defendmy title in the ring,
not relinquish iton some fuckin' technicality.
You came to my house.
You said you'd do whateverit takes for the DWL.
So there were conditionsyou didn't disclose then?
Jack, I'm tryna talkabout my future in the DWL
in the present.
We were together in the past,five seconds ago,
when I pronounced youa DWL wrestler,
which, 24 hours ago,you were not.
I'm not arguin' that.
No?You were shoutin' after me
and calling bullshit.
Jack, I- I followed youto talk to you.
A week ago, you cried to me,saying that you would do
-anything for the DWL.-[Crystal scoffs]
I wasn't crying to you.
I was trying to takeresponsibility for my actions.
But it would seemthat "anything" meant
before you got the belt.
'Cause now you got the belt,
and you're the onewho's telling me what's next?
That's what you left outwhen you were cryin'
and apologisin'.
You're real focusedon that day.
I gotta square that day withwhat's happening right now.
And do not consider any part
of any event scraps.
So let me know if you wannabe part of this promotion.
Follow me, fucko.
-Ah.-[Willie] You just got a gift.
I was just tryingto stick up for my--
[Willie] Shut up!
I thought you were smart.
Jack just gave you more praisethan anyone in this buildin'.
I got two sentences.You got a monologue.
He actually used the words,"I am so grateful for you."
And you go marchin' after him,stampin' and stompin'
in your little Care Bear boots,whinin' "No fair"?
Jesus.
This promotionis in the dark ages
when it comesto women wrestlers.
You ever wrestleda 30-minute match?
'Cause that's what it takesto be at the top of the card
in this business--30 minutes.
How's your cardio, hmm?
And what's your gimmick?
'Cause as faras the audience knows,
Bunny Bombshellnow has the DWL belt--
or whoever Bunny was,before you tore your ears off.
We don't know.
So if you've got solutions,share 'em.
Otherwise,quit runnin' your mouth.
I wasn't tryin'to run my mouth.
Really?'Cause you opened it,
and you let words spew forthwithout thinkin'.
-If you say so.-Oh, I say so.
I fuckin' know so.
I've lost my lifeto this business.
So listen to what I say.
[sighs]
I'm sorry.
I am listening.
Really.
Well, I have no ideawho your Mr. Miyagi is,
but clearly,you've been practicin'.
You didn't learn all that on thetrampoline in your front yard.
Regardless,
there's a matchthis Saturday night,
and before your hissy fit,Jack was writin' you into it.
For all I know, now he's inhis office writin' you out.
Well, I will goapologise to him.
You will sit in this roomfor ten minutes
and do nothin' but reflect
on how you can better speak topeople about your aspirations.
Nobody owes you shit.
Today's Monday.
Your road to fairnessstarts now.
Go get one of the boys,who isn't tryin'
to stick his dick in youto help and start workin'.
Get in the ring.
Get through five minutesof action nonstop,
then ten minutes,then 15, then 20.
And if you can't do that, well,that's the story Jack writes--
you sidelinedbefore you even got started.
And whose fault is that?
[door slams]
-[Jack] Hey, Ma.-[Carol] Hi.
What's with the rocks?
I'm bombardedwith junk mail.
I discovered ifI ship back a box of rocks
using thepostage-paid-by-addressee
envelope,it'd cost them a lot of money,
and it stops.
-Respect.-Mm-hmm.
I've been calling Acesince last night.
Well, we--
the show went well, but we hada little bit of a spat.
He's gone, Jack.
You make it sound ominous.
[Carol] He left with foodand his sleeping bag.
Then just say he went camping.
He went camping, Jack.
You don't thinkhe went camping.
Took his Xbox.
[mellow musicplaying over radio]
Welcome.
Please be made aware that thisestablishment is cash only.
No credit card, no Venmo,no PayPal, no Apple Pay,
no crypto--cash only.
Seems pretty restrictive.
I'll just have some,uh, white toast.
Hmm, tryna lose weight?
Just tryna enjoy some toast.
[sighs]
Let me buy you a meal, partner.
Man with your frameneeds protein.
I'm not tryin' to offend.
I've had days whereall I ate was toast.
I like toast.
Can't trust a man who doesn't.
-I usually---Buddy, I ain't lonely.
Go find some other runawayto make s'mores with.
Mm.
Well, you seem kind of oldto be a runaway.
[door opens]
[door closes]
[waitress] Hey!
So you dining and dashingon me, you motherfucker?
[person] What you mean?
-What?-[waitress] Pay.
Get--pay yo' bill.
[person] Oh, God.[chuckles]
-Keep the change.-[waitress] Change?
Keep the fuck away from here,you goddamn thief.
[car door closes]
Hey.
Here.
I don't know why I did that.
I do.
You feel the worldowes it to you.
So you keep it.
[engine starts]
[country music playing]
♪ ♪
[wrestlers grunting]
[both grunting]
-[groans]-[wrestlers jeering]
[laughter]
-Okay.-[Bobby] Come on.
Come on, Dad.
[both grunt]
-[Bobby] Nice, nice, nice.-[wrestler] Attagirl.
-[stopwatch beeps]-That was 12 minutes.
[The Dad breathing heavily]
That was not 12 minutes.
That was 11 minutes,46 seconds.
[both exhale]
Ah, that sucked.
Diego, you think you can last15 minutes with me?
-Uh...-[laughter]
Okay.All right.
In a bygone era,I woulda had a great answer
to that question,but I'll just say this.
Let's lock up.
Ah.
[door bell jingles]
Hey, man, you work here?
[worker]Are you buying or complaining?
Buyin'.Uh, is this, uh, jacket
good for the rain?
What do you mean"good for the rain?"
If I'm in the rain,will I be good?
Well, it is a raincoat.
So I think the answer is yes.
You ever gone campingin Dover Springs?
Nah, I hate camping.
You workat a camping store.
Alimony.Don't ever get married.
So if you're hikin' and campin'in Dover Springs,
I hope you're all geared up.You got bear spray?
There's bears in Dover Springs?
Oh, yeah, lots of 'em.
They passed a lawyou can't kill 'em anymore,
but bears don't seemto be thankful about that
when you run into 'em,so watch out.
You got hiking boots?
Uh, naw, I was just--I was just gonna wear these.
You're gonna hikein soccer shoes?
It's pretty rough terrain.
They're broken in.I'll be good.
Hey, I just wanna make sure
you know what you're doin'up there.
I mean, you're asking me aboutthe efficacy of a raincoat.
This--this particular raincoat.
Raincoats always work, man.That's why they're raincoats.
Do you sell tents?
[whispers] Oh, my God.
[Crystal sighs]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[marker scribbling]
[person] Every time,just keeps making the bus.
I don't understand...
[Jack] I don't thinkit's too bad.
I'll smile more to offset it.
Thank youfor waking me up yesterday.
Think we're gonna get thatcontract with the county--
a lot of mowers.
Jack, that's so great.
Ace left town.
I have no idea where.
I think the idea is he don'twant me havin' any idea,
'cause he hates me.
He doesn't.He's not gone far.
He took his Xbox.
I never shouldatold him the truth.
Staci, we were cookin'.
We had arrived.
Let's just have this meeting,get Thomas back in school.
Ace will be back.
Hello there,Mr. Spade, Mrs. Spade.
-Good to see you again.-Hey, good to see you.
Despite the circumstances.Um...
-This is Jennifer Stone.-Hi.
Pleasure to meet you,Ms. Stone.
-[Jennifer] Hi.-[principal] She works with
the districtas a school psychologist.
Uh, sorry we kept you waiting.
[Jack] Uh, no worries at all.
The amount of time I spentin this here office as a boy
makes me nostalgic to be back.
[chuckles] Usually,the principal's office
brings up scary memories.
I hope you weren'ta troublemaker, Mr. Spade.
Well, I didn'tnecessarily make any trouble--
didn't shy away from itwhen it found me,
certainly wasn't scared of it.
Violence sometimes suggestsa deeper issue going on
with a child, and the proximityto professional wrestling
may even normalise it.
It's boys.We handled it at home.
Tell us.We're concerned.
No need for a concern.It's handled.
Thomas understands he can't usehis fists to express himself.
Well, not at school, anyways.
School, their rules.
School rules say you can'tdefend yourself that way.
Noted.
There's no needfor a deeper dive.
Okay, well, the video evidenceof the incident
might amendyour feelings about it.
[Jack]You got any audio evidence?
Audio evidencewould amend your feelings,
because audio evidence would
reveal what provoked Thomasthat day.
Thomas broke the boy's nose.
We want to make every effortto de-escalate the situation.
I-I-It's over.
It's de-escalated.[scoffs]
You think this is funny?
No, I don't.
But I was just recallingwhen I was in fifth grade here.
A kid named Dave Curley
pulled down Becky Colquit'spants at recess.
Becky's brother, Todd,stepped up.
He broke Dave's nose,
and then he brokeDave's left arm.
And Dave learned somethingthat day about bullying.
Now, guess what?
Dave turned intoa pretty good guy.
He's working as a social workernow up in Raleigh.
Thomas is a sensitive boy,
who responded in a waywe don't prefer.
Thomas got toldto go fuck himself.
That's bullying.
Thomas taught that bullya life lesson
about using threatsand fightin' words.
[principal]There's no such thing
as fighting words, Mr. Spade.
Fighting words escalateinto a school shooting,
and you don't want that,do you?
Did you just ask meif I wanted this to escalate
to a school shootin'?
I did.
Until Congress legislates anapproved list of fighting words
that justifiablyprovoke physical retribution,
we're just gonna draw the lineat no punching,
no kicking, no scratching,no pulling hair too,
but top on the listis no punching.
Make sense?
Totally. Completely.
Well, mission accomplished.
That was one ofthe worst routes ever taken
to accomplish any mission ever.
It's a miraclewe got out of that meetin'
with them agreein'to let Thomas back in school.
Well, Staci, it's over and donewith, and he's unsuspended,
so what is the dealfor tonight?
You gon' drive to Alpharetta,grab Thomas,
and just come on back,'cause that's a--
That's a lot of drivingfor one day.
I don't even know what to s--
[Jack]Staci, I came to the meetin'.
Me, it's Jack.It's my point of view.
I figure sincewe were invited--
Summoned.We were summoned.
They had the districtschool psychologist there.
This wasn't a meetin'about detention and writin'
"I'm sorry for punching"200 times.
They think our son mighthave mental health issues.
[Jack] They...[sighs]
They're concerned
that the school district'sgonna get sued.
They're just tryin'to cover their ass.
They wanted us to acknowledgepunching as wrong.
How could you not read that?
'Cause punchin'is not always wrong.
Listen, are we supposed to liveaccording to principle,
or we just supposedto suck it up?
We're supposed to liveaccording to principle
and common sense.
Well, let me knowwhen to use which.
And hey, how- how is it thatI'm here talkin' 'bout Thomas,
and you're clearlytryin' to talk about me?
No, I'm talkin' aboutall of us.
This is exactly my point.
I thinkwe're doin' this together,
and then you go rogue,arguing about fighting words.
No, goin' rogue's fightin'
in the absenceof fightin' words.
Those peoplehave master's degrees.
If they think we shouldreframe our son's behaviour,
maybe we should just listen.
I listened,then I responded.
You talked.You schooled the school people.
What the hell, man?
You have one gear lately--confrontational.
I was in theredefendin' our son,
who did not havemental health issues--
[sighs]I don't wanna argue.
I just wanna hold your hand
and walk throughthis life together.
But I...[chuckles]
I sure can't imagineanyone observin' us
and thinking,"Wow, what a great marriage."
But it's what I want.
It's what we deserve,and it's not this.
[scoffs]
And I'm notin a hurry to come home
if this is the waywe're gonna treat a--
[Jack] Go ahead.
Say something else
about how I'm no longerthe man that you married.
Stop provoking me.I wasn't going--
I did what you asked.I told Ace the truth.
I'm here at this meetin'listening to those two
fucking idiots tell usthat our son is a bully,
which is not true.
I conceded the point.I did not think it true,
but I did for you,for Thomas, for us.
I can play by the rules,but you're here,
and you're threatenin' me,Staci.
You're threatenin'to stay separated!
No, I am telling you
I am so disorientedand--and--and unfamiliar
by this way you now seemto express your unhappiness.
And that it has to change,Jack,
because I can't do itlike this.
Well, I don't know
when you got so conditional,but there it is.
-Don't say it's conditional.-That's fine.
-No, it is!-Who the fuck are you?
It is!
[sighs]
And look,may- maybe it should be.
I get--I get it.
I'm--I'm gonna stopasking you to come home,
because clearly,I haven't earned it.
♪ ♪
Who am I?
I disappeared
the day my dadshot himself in the head.
And Daddy's final wordsto me were,
"Jack, take care of Ace,"and I thought that I was.
I'm a manwho's desperate to provide,
who's tryin' to build a homefor all of us.
And, Staci,I'm failin' at all that.
So n--so I'm--so I'm a man
who doesn't knowwhere his brother is,
and--and whose wife and sonhave left him
alone in our home.
Now what's that make me?Who's that make me?
I'm just a dude.
I'm just...[sniffles]
I'm just a dude who's tryin'.
♪ ♪
And all I'm doin' insteadis I'm fuckin' everything up.
I'm a disaster.
I don't know
what I have to do
to find the guythat I was before.
I don't know the first thing.
♪ ♪
I'ma figure it out.
♪ ♪
["High" by Brittany Howard]
♪ ♪
[Brittany] ♪ I already feel ♪
♪ Like doing it again ♪
♪ Honey ♪
♪ ♪
♪ 'Cause once you knowThen you know ♪
♪ And you don't wanna go ♪
♪ Back to wherever it isThat you come from, yeah ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I just want to stay high ♪
♪ With you ♪
[Ace] This is Ace.Leave a message,
-and I'll hit you back.-[line beeps]
Ace, hey, listen to me, man.
I don't know how faryou went or where,
but I know thatyou took your Xbox with you.
So just tell me what I gotta doto get you back here.
You want me to run downMain Street naked
with a pumpkin head?
Done! All right?
I messed up,but I need you with me,
and I want you to knowthat I won't keep on working
to build this thinguntil you decide to come back.
You know thatyou gon' come back,
because you wereborn to wrestle!
So just reach out,and let's fix this!
[wrestler]Okay, okay.
Naked lady walks into a bar.
-[laughter]-Poodle under one hand.
[wrestler]There's no way, dude.
Ace has gone away,no idea where.
New plan--Crystal,you're gon' be on the card.
Where?I don't know.
But we're gonna throw youin the deep end.
That way, if you drown,
we will not have wastedany time.
Don't ask me how it ends.Don't ask me how it begins.
I'm gonna write a promo.We're gonna shoot it tonight.
Brew some coffee.
[laughs]
-[squeals]-[Diego sighs]
Jesus, the minutewe get some momentum--
these fucking brothers, man.
Now Ace quit?Rooster defected.
Pock's gone AWOL.Bobby's leg's broke.
It's fucking great.
[Bobby] Actually,I'm healing really fast.
Doctor said thatI make more calcium
than the average person.
[Ricky]How's that work, exactly?
You got, like,a milk titty in your leg?
[laughter]
Hey, Jack.[knocks on door]
Want you to know I'm here
to relieve some pressure,here to help.
Bill, if you're gonnatell me that I don't know
what the fuck I'm doing again,no, thank you.
"You don't knowwhat the fuck you're doin'"
is not an insult.
It isn't.
Look, you can't be judged onyour ability to do something
if you haven't beenproperly taught how--
no disrespect to your dad.
Hey, you wanna gowhere he never went
and where I've been.
Sometimes my turns of phrasemisfire.
I own that.I offer an apology.
And I am here to help.
Not to disrupt.
Now, look.
We are, right now,what we call in the business,
butt-fucked.
The finish to the title matchgave us a huge pop,
but we booked ourselvesinto a corner.
We gotta figure outhow to make you whole again
while still pushing Crystalwithout emasculatin'
your sausage partyof a talent roster.
Look, you can write.
Write.
But I got some ideas--
some good ones.
I'd like to share 'emwith you.
In this...[chuckles]
...battered notebook,one of about 100,
there lies the scribbled wisdomborn out of 7,000 nights
in 6,000 motels.
Let's put our heads togetherand get this shit goin'.
♪ ♪
As presidentof the Duffy Wrestling League
board of directors,I called this press conference
to addressthe recent controversy.
Last week,in an overzealous moment,
our referee erroneously awardedthe title to Bunny Bombshell,
who was not a legal competitorin the title match,
and therefore,was ineligible to win.
-[Crystal] Huh.-[Eddie] 'Scuse me.
[camera shutters clicking]
-[laughs]-[Eddie] This referee
is now suspended without pay,pending an investigation.
[Bobby] There's no need.There's no need.
I'm retiring from reffing.
[Eddie] Praise the Lord.
[Paul] Nice passing the heatto the ref.
[Kevin] Time-tested good shit.
Shut the fuck up, Kevin.
Bill Hancock was incapacitatedduring the match
and left unattended,
a grievous oversightby our entire promotion.
I want to apologiseto Mr. Hancock
for our mishandling of yourgastrointestinal complication
and offer you Jack Spadein a ladder match rematch
for the DWL title.
This is only happenin',
'cause he's threatenin'to sue the DWL!
-[mic feedback]-[Wild Bill] Eddie.
I accept your completelyunmotivated apology.
But if you're lookingfor who to blame,
look at who might gainthrough sabotage.
-Jack Spade.-[crowd murmurs]
Ace Spade.
I was poisoned!
And who had better access
than my so-called valet,Bunny freakin' Bombshell?
A valet that had just come offworkin' with Ace Spade.
Maybe they never stoppedworking together.
[Jack] Keep on using themfightin' words, Bill,
and you're gonna find yourselfin a world of hurt.
You got your money,and you got your lawyers,
but what you also haveis a mouth writin' checks
that your leaky asscan't cash!
Let's go right now, big Jack!
Please!Leave it for the ring,
where we will all gladly pay
to see you spillone another's blood.
And now, Ms. Bombshell--
Whoa, check yourself.
[mic feedback]
My name is not Bunny Bombshellor Tits McGee
or any othercartoon stage name
this hairy, syphilitic sackof skin tried pinnin' on me.
You will call me Crystal Tyler.
-I am a grown, damn woman.-[Jack snickering]
Oh, you think it's funny,Jack Spade, huh?
[Jack] I do.
What's funny was that lookon your face
after I kicked your assand took your title!
-You wanna go right now?-I'll do whatever...
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.-Ms. Tyler!
I am impressedby your competitive fire,
but this belt and the titleare gonna be held in abeyance
until Saturday's match
between Jack Spadeand Wild Bill Hancock.
And Ace Spade, you're invitedto return to Duffy
and challengefor the belt again.
If not, your spot'll be takenby another challenger.
See you all Saturday,7:30 p.m.,
live from the Duffy Dome.
-[Willie] Cut.-[Eddie] Good!
-[all cheering]-[wrestler] Hey, good job.
-[wrestler] Nice job.-[wrestler] Very well done!
[Eddie] Ain't nothin'without the words, Shakespeare.
[birds chirping]
♪ ♪
[exciting music]
♪ ♪
Hey.Standing room only.
Field of fucking Dreamsout there.
Promo worked so good.
Merch is moving.Beer is flowing.
We're gonna makesome money tonight.
Yeah, they still gotta buywhat we're sellin' in the ring.
Okay, one victory at a time.
You sure about the finish?Just confirming.
♪ ♪
-[phone clicks]-[line rings]
[Ace] This is Ace.Leave a message,
-and I'll hit you back.-[line beeps]
[sighs]Hey, if you show up here
in the next ten minutes or so,just slide in the back,
and I'll fill you inonce we're in the ring.
Otherwise,I'm gon' keep reachin' out,
and I'm gon' keep leavin'these messages.
♪ ♪
I need you back here.
♪ ♪
-[phone beeps, clicks]-[taps on window]
Let's go.
[dramatic music]
[heartbeat thumping]
[heavy metal music]
♪ ♪
[crowd booing]
[crowd chanting]Ace! Ace! Ace!
Ace! Ace! Ace!
[Eddie] Folks,I'm sorry to say this,
but Ace Spade is a no-show.
[crowd boos]
But you were promiseda triple threat ladder match
for the DWL strap, and that'sexactly what you're gonna get.
[cheers and applause]
Ace Spade's suddenand mysterious absence
has providedthe opportunity of a lifetime.
I am makin' an open challenge
to any other manon the DWL roster.
Now, who's it gonna be?
[Crystal] How 'bout a woman?
[crowd cheering]
I got a DWL contractright here,
which means I'm on the roster.
[Wild Bill] No, no, no, no!
And I came herefor what's mine--
to win back my belt!
[crowd cheering]
[Eddie] Oh, don't encourage hernow, folks.
She's a spectatorjust like yourselves tonight.
Look at thistypical male bull crap.
Woman comes in, beats three men
only to have a fourth man
manufacture some technicality
to dismiss her.
They're lookin' at me like,
"Who's this bitchthink she is?"
-[crowd booing]-Shut up!
[Crystal] You guys see thatlook on Jack Spade's face?
-[crowd jeers]-Yeah, he don't like a lady
using such language in the DWL,but you know what?
You're actually rightabout me, Jack.
My name is Crystal Tyler,
and I am the baddest bitch
the DWL has ever seen!
[crowd cheering]
-[laughs]-Nice.
I am the real goddamn champ
till one of you has gotthe balls to take it from me.
[crowd shouting]
Your job is to hop aroundand fetch my robe.
[crowd ohhs]
So quit twitchingyour little bunny tail here
and hop on out!
This match is no placefor a woman.
[crowd booing]
Crystal Tyler,you want in the match?
-You got it!-[cheers and applause]
But!But don't you come crying to me
'cause you got bit tryingto play with the big dogs.
[crowd booing]
Ring that bell, Eddie!
[bell rings]
I am officially protestin--
[crowd ohhs]
Shit!
That's a living legendright there!
How dare you!
[Eddie] All right, folks.We are under way.
Oh, he's giving hera police escort
right intothe turnbuckle there.
[Jack] She don't belongin this ring!
[Wild Bill] Witchcraft!
-Burn her!-[crowd booing]
[Eddie] There's just two leftin the dance contest now.
Okay, here we go.
[Ricky] Now this issome great action here.
[Eddie] You don'tturn your back on a girl
with that kind of agility,I'll tell ya.
[Ricky] Looks like she's tryin'to maybe choke him.
[Eddie] Whoa!
[Ricky] Crystal just landson her feet like a housecat.
[Eddie]Stuck the dismount.
[Ricky]Uh-uh. She means business.
[cheers and applause]
-[Crystal shouts]-[both] Oh!
Well, that done backfiredon him, didn't it?
[Jack] Ow!Come on!
-[Crystal] Did it hurt?-[Jack] Yes!
-[Crystal] Yeah?-[Jack screams]
[Eddie] She just keeps slappin'with her open hand.
I don't understand that.
I would use a rockor a closed fist.
[Ricky] Closed fist is illegalin professional wrestling,
Eddie Earl.
[Ricky] Oh!
[Eddie]He threw her for distance.
[Ricky]Oh, he's fixin' to end
this girl's careerbefore it starts.
[Eddie] Oh, she's jumping upto the top pole.
Appliances.Here she goes.
Oh! That is some kindof superkick right there.
[Ricky] Every time Jacktakes his eyes off the prize,
Crystal doessomething fantastic.
[Crystal grunts]
[Ricky] Oh!
-Good lord!-Oh!
[Eddie]Like a young Nadia Comaneci,
right with an elbowto the face.
[Ricky] For anybody under 75right now,
he means Simone Biles.
He's workingthe outside of the ring here.
-[Jack] Thanks very much.-[fan] Hey!
He's stealing a $7-beer.That's not all right.
Remember,this is a ladder match.
You need to use the ladderto climb and grab the belt.
[crowd booing]
-[crowd cheering]-[both laugh]
[Ricky] You need the ladderto win the match,
but it can alsobe used against you.
Look at her.
She's beento a Home Depot before.
All right, well,he's back in the ring.
He's a little--oh.Little do-si-do there.
[crowd ohhs]
She didn't planto land on that elbow.
[Ricky] Hot dog, kids these dayscall that a cutter.
It's a Crystal Cutter,Eddie Earl!
[Eddie] That's a rich countryin the Middle East as well.
[crowd cheering]
[Ricky] All right,that ladder's twice the size
of that little girl.
[Eddie] Well, she's gottaget up to the top floor
and get that belt.
[Ricky] Oh, Crystal's gonna win
this match right here,right now.
[Eddie] Hold up, Ricky.
Have you ever seena ladder match
where someoneclimbed the ladder
with a sense of urgencyor alacrity?
-[crowd ohhs]-[Ricky] Oh!
He's got a hold of her--an impolite hold of her.
Could be prosecutedin some states.
[Ricky] He's gonna throw herinto the second row.
[Eddie] Oh, wait!
She's reversed it on him.
[dramatic music]
Oh.Oh, she is--
[Ricky] Jade Spade mightbe in trouble here.
[Eddie] She is twistingthe life out of his neck.
Like a boa constrictor.
-[Annie] Use those thighs!-[Constance] Choke him out!
[Annie] You got it!
♪ ♪
She's locked ina triangle choke.
-He's very much in trouble.-[crowd chanting]
I would think a lot of men
would want to bein his position.
[Ricky] He's tapping out.He can't breathe.
He don't wanna be there.
♪ ♪
He's out.Jack's unconscious.
[Eddie] It's all overbut the climbin' now.
[fan] Come on, Crystal!
[Ricky]When she grabs that belt,
no one can say thatshe won on a technicality.
She beat these menfair and square.
We are all eyewitnesses.
[Eddie] She's this closeto winning the belt again.
Wait a minute!He's comin' from the side!
Wild Bill is back.He has self-released himself.
[crowd chanting]Crystal! Crystal! Crystal!
[ladder rattles]
[crowd gasps]
[soft dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[inaudible speaking]
[bell rings]
She's made it!
She has won the belt again.
Yeah! Whoo!
[crowd chanting]Crystal! Crystal! Crystal!
Crystal! Crystal! Crystal!
[cheers and laughter]
[Eddie] It's CrystalMania,is what it is.
That's what's broken out here.
[Ricky] What a sport.Hey, look it--
look at how dejectedJack Spade is.
He's upset.
[Eddie] Well, he should be.
[Ricky] Yeah, absolutely.
[Eddie] He just lostto a 101-pound girl.
[crowd chanting]Crystal! Crystal! Crystal!
[Wild Bill]Great piece of business, Jack.
One hell of a sacrificefor a top guy
to put overa five-foot-nothing female--
and clean, at that.
[Jack]It was the right thing to do.
[beer can opens]
[Wild Bill]And judging by those cheers,
it was a good call.
[Jack] Thank you.
You helped put her over too.
"Therefore, Saul took a swordand fell on it.
"And when his armourbearersaw that Saul was dead,
he also fell on his swordand died with him."
I'll be fine.
I once lost to Vanilla Iceand a Ninja Turtle.
-[Bobby] There she is!-[cheers and applause]
[Willie]Way to go, Crystal Tyler.
Willie, I just--
[sighs]
[laughs]
All right.
Good job.
Go ahead and grab yourselfa beer or a shot,
you know, to celebrate.
♪ ♪
[laughter]
[Willie] Oh.
Hey.[laughs]
All righty then.
Hey,a few more shows like that,
and you might actuallymake some money.
[chuckles] I know.
[Bobby] This guy did it.He was--
-[wrestler] This guy.-[Bobby] Yeah.
[wrestler]This guy! This guy!
[wrestler] Hey.
[excited chatter]
[Crystal laughs]
♪ ♪
[muffled, distant chatter]
♪ ♪
[Jack] Ace, hey,listen to me, man.
I don't knowhow far you went or where,
but I know that you tookyour Xbox with you.
So just tell me what I gottado to get you back here.
Do you want me to run downMain Street naked
with a pumpkin head?
Done! All right?
I messed up,but I need you with me.
[grunts, yelps]
[Jack] I want you to know thatI'm gon' keep on working
-to build this thing.-[grunts, groans]
[Jack]Until you decide to come back.
[screams]
[Jack]You were born to wrestle!
So just reach out,and let's fix this!
[line beeps]
Jack, look.
Turns out the DWLdidn't need Ace after all.
Now we got...
[imitates crowd cheers]CrystalMania!
♪ ♪
[groaning]
["Gimme Shelter"by The Rolling Stones]
♪ ♪
[singer]♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
[groaning, panting]
♪ ♪
Help?
[echoing]Can anyone hear me?
Help!
♪ ♪
[Jagger]♪ Mad bull lost its way ♪
♪ War, children, yeah ♪
♪ It's just a shot awayIt's just a shot away ♪
♪ War, children, yeah ♪
♪ It's just a shot awayIt's just a shot away ♪
[singer]♪ Yeah ♪
♪ ♪
[Jagger]♪ Yeah ♪
♪ War, children ♪
♪ It's just a shot awayIt's just a shot away ♪
♪ It's just a shot away ♪
[Jagger]♪ I tell you love, sister ♪
♪ It's just a kiss awayIt's just a kiss away ♪
♪ It's just a kiss away ♪
♪ It's just a kiss awayIt's just a kiss away ♪
♪ Kiss away, kiss away ♪