So it's the middle of the night,
and, uh, I'm naked,
I'm in a museum,
I'm surrounded by theseRoman statues, right,
and I realise Ihave to take a leak,
so I go to the bathroom,
and Rodin's Thinking Guy, right,
he's either there already,or he followed me in.
- Uh-huh.- I'm trying to take a leak,
but he's staring at me,
and then, suddenly, thestatue starts to pee.
I mean, like,
the longest, loudest peethat you've ever heard,
like Vesuvius.
- [laughs]- Like Niagara.
I mean, he's mocking me.
I get no relief, noteven in my sleep.
I'm kind of clogged up.
[blows hard through nose]
[blowing]
Wow. Wow, loud.
That was much louder than Ithought it was going to be.
It was exactly as loudas I thought it would be.
Did you look at theapartments I sent you?
Yeah, whatever you want's fine.
But I want you to feellike it's your place, too.
You don't have any preferences?
I... I don't know,
a place with somenature around it,
and a view of the river?
- You know anything like that?- I'm off.
[gasps] Did you justgive me the cheek?
I haven't brushed.
Uh-uh, not today.
Okay.
I will call you from New York.
- I love you.- You too.
No jail this time.
Ha!
You're way too happy!
[theme music playing]
[Hank thinking] Oh, good.
Two jars of pickles.
Which are the good ones?
Hmm, what if Ichoose the wrong one?
Oh, forget it.
Uh, yeah. The green pickles.
Green for good.
Wait. No. Blue for better?
Was that...
Dad?
[man on TV] I've saved thebest for last for this date.
[woman on TV] Oh, I'm so glad!
[man] Yeah, yeah. Ihave to end it on...
[woman] On a high note.
[man] Yeah, girl,yes, absolutely.
What the hell?
[woman] Oh, I'm sohappy about that.
- Hi, Julie.- Hi.
I've called you,like, five times.
I know. I can't find my phone.
This phone?
Oh, there it is.
- Thanks.- Yup.
Hey.
Has Russell been here at all?
I don't know, was he here?
Dad!
[snapping fingers] Focus.
Have you seen Russellin the past 24 hours?
[sighs heavily]
No.
- Okay.- Something wrong?
No. It's nothing.
When does Mom get back?
In a couple days, I think.
Um...
Russell didn't comehome last night.
Is that unusual?
Yes.
We're married. Youwere at the wedding.
You were so pretty.
Well, did you call him?
You didn't thinkI'd try calling him?
Well, do you wantme to call him?
Yeah, I guess.
I'd like to know he'sokay, and not, like,
at the bottom ofa lake somewhere.
Are you guys fighting?
We're kind of alwaysfighting, but it's fine.
Oh.
I can't... I thoughtI had his contact.
Do you have his number?
Oh, my God. Okay.
Forget it.
Thank you so much.
Goodbye.
Okay. Thank you.
[reality TV dating show resumes]
Oh, Jesus.
[Tony] Oh, sorry.
If you're here to slaughter myfather, he's in the bedroom.
Great.
[woman on TV] Yeah,I get that about you.
Yeah...
- Ew.- Ah.
I brought yourstinkin' chainsaw back.
Just put it on the bed.
So you can spoon it?
Are you depressed becauseyou miss our friendship?
[TV show continues indistinctly]
[turns TV off]
[sighs] Look...
[inhales]
At the convention...
Hmm.
[Hank inhales]
The people,
the meal.
[inhaling]
I... Uh...
Sorry?
I'm sorry.
Nice apology.
You can keep the chainsaw.
- I don't want it.- It's an expensive one.
- It's broken.- I know, but...
All right, grab your loaf ofbread. Let's get out of here.
No, I want to see whathappens to the pretty girl.
She cheats onMassimo with T-bone.
- [annoyed] Are you...- [Tony] Yeah.
[Tony] Here, come here.Take a look at these.
I see. I see 'em.
It's a white Trillium,or Trinity Flower.
See it's got threepetals, one, two, three?
Okay.
They're really rare to find.
Come on.
Take a look.
The Native Americans usethem for medicinal purposes.
That's fine.
Actually, they'reconsidered endangered
because they take upto ten years to grow.
[grunts]
- Beautiful.- I just said they were endangered.
Oh.
I wasn't really listening.
Okay.
Yeah, put it back 'causethat's how flowers work.
Come on.
You know how when Zeldaand I got divorced,
we each took a night table?
I wasn't trackingthat, but sure.
So now she's remarried andwants the other night table,
and I know it's putting alot on a piece of furniture,
but I kind of felt likewe were still connected,
like I wasn't sleeping alone.
I gave Lily thecheek the other day
when she leaned into kiss goodbye.
So we're talking about you now?
[clearing throat]That's why I showed up.
Okay, I had my time.
So are you mad ather for leaving?
I didn't think I was tillI gave her the cheek,
but I thought Iwas happy for her.
Well, the lips knowmore than the brain.
Yeah.
My anger has nowhere to go.
It's unhoused.
I'm like the Countof Monte Cristo,
but instead of plottingrevenge for 40 years,
I've been plotting a pointedconversation with my dad,
and now the man that Iwanted to confront is gone.
Gone. It's likean action movie,
where I go to punch a guy,
and he ducks, and Ihit the guy behind him,
and then I'm feeling guilty,
then the guy behind me whacksme in the back of the head.
Look, I've been here.
No one knows an existential hole
like a divorced person.
Climbing out isn't easy.
Start with one thing.
Something simple.
Could be as easy as just pickingclothes up off the floor.
Get it done.
Notice the feeling.
Tomorrow, you'll get two things.
Come on. [claps] Be present.
Close your eyes.
First thing that comes upoff the top of your head.
Close your eyes.
Um... Uh, my sink is leaking.
The hose is broken.
Well, you've got toget right on that.
I will.
It'll get under your floorboards,it could cost you 15 grand.
- I will.- You'll get black mold under there.
- What are you even doing here?- I'll go.
We're walking around in the woods,your house is falling apart...
Yeah, I'll go.
- [knocking on door]- [Laurel] Uh, Henry?
Are you all right?
Henry?
[door knob rattling]
Ah.
I'm making us aVichyssoise for lunch.
I need a toothbrush, Laurel.
Oh, well, give me 15 minutes.
I'll drive you into town.
I want to drive myself.
Oh, don't startthat again, Henry.
You lived inManhattan far too long
to remember how to drive.
We drove upstate last winter.
I love to drive.
We'll go together.
We'll make it an outing.
I don't want a goddamn outing.
I want to drive myself into town
and get it,
alone.
Well, I won't let you.
I'm sorry, Henry,it's far too risky.
[scoffs softly]
[cell phone vibrating]
Hey.
[Lily] Hey, I wasthinking about you.
I'm where we hadour second date.
Do you remember thatlittle cafe on West 4th?
And my realtor,
I swear to you, he looks justlike the guy from The Bachelor.
You had a crush on him, right?
[Lily] No.
I just thought he wastoo good for that girl.
Well, look, Russell'sbeen gone overnight.
He's probably insome motel somewhere,
blowing all his moneyon whores and drugs
and whatever's inthe mini fridge.
Oh, yeah, she told you?
Yeah, we spoke.
Julie and I,
not Russell.
So what should I do?
It's their marriage.
Just keep your brainout of their headspace.
It's full of booby-traps.
Julie just needsto take this time
and figure it out on her own.
Sorry.
[Hank] You've gotto be kidding me.
[Lily] Do you havea different take?
No, I'm passing my dad.
He's walking. Iheard what you said.
I'll stay out ofit. That's my forte.
Oh, Christ, if I pick him up...
I've got to go to workand the hardware store.
Hello?
He hung up on me.
Ah.
Lily-Lil!
Today's the day wefind you a new home.
The vibes are strong today.
Hey, partner!
Rodeo is back that way.
You need a ride?
Uh, no thanks.
Dad! Dad, it's me!
Come on.
Come on, get in.
[Hank thinking] He'slosing his marbles.
Well, I alwayshated his marbles,
so maybe there'ssomething better
rattling around in there now.
A couple of nickels?
Maybe a rare one I could sell?
You can't take me home.
Well, I gotta go to work, so...
I'll go with you.
No, I...
Does Laurel know where you are?
I gotta get my own car.
She keeps me trapped at home
like I'm in aStephen King novel.
Could be worse.
It could be a Jane Austen novel.
Yuck.
All right, buckle up.
[Paul shouting]Dammit, Leslie!
That is a bald-faced lie!
[Leslie, on speakerphone]I'm just the messenger here.
We would...
[clicking off speakerphone]We would support a strike.
You know we would.
It's the damn French department
and their stupid French berets!
We are and have,
until recently, always...
[Hank] Right through here.
What's going on over there?
Rourke's on with the union rep.
Something about thelegislature vote coming up.
What did she say?What did you say?
It's nothing.It's budget cuts.
What cuts? Whatare they cutting?
Uh, right through here.
That wasn't anissue at Columbia.
Yeah, the Columbiaendowment was $21 billion.
If I needed something,
we'd just call thepresident's girl,
and that was it.
You'd call his daughter?
Uh, look, this ismy father, Henry.
This is my assistant, Rachel.
She's going to take care of you.
Listen, if he gets feisty,
just, uh...
just give him some of thesestudent papers to read.
She looks gifted.
And so it begins.
Young lady, I'd like yourhelp with a couple of things.
[Hank] All right, cool it.
It's okay. What do youneed, Mr. Devereaux?
First, I'd like a coffee,light, with two sugars.
Second, I'd like to know
what's on your bedside table.
[Hank] You don't have to answer.
[laughs awkwardly] Excuse me?
What are you reading now?
- Oh.- Okay, he can read them,
but don't let himgrade anything.
Our faithful union rep
won't call for a strike.
Why not?
- She's prudent.- She's a pussy.
[Paul] Well, shethinks it will fail
because departmentchairs like Hank here
abandoned the union weeks ago.
[exhales]
Remember how ourlast strike went?
We lost more groundthan we gained.
[Paul] So then thistime, we do it better.
That's all you everdo, is nothing!
Your solution toeverything, right?
Don't even try?
You've screwed us all.
Them's the facts.
[slams door]
My car lease is up tomorrow.
Ah, you know what?
I'm just going to assumethe worst and get a Kia.
Where have we landed?
[Teddy] Well, DickiePope's a master tactician.
Our plan can't beto outsmart him.
Why don't you keepsucking his balls,
and we seeingwhere that gets us?
[Teddy] Look, I'mjust pointing out
that he's executinghis plan brilliantly.
You know, he hasn'tmissed a step.
So, realistically, we'regoing to lose this.
Aren't we?
Hank?
So, can you at least tellus what you're thinking?
You're not going to like it.
We're grownups.
I've really got to replacethe hose on my kitchen sink.
[cell phone vibrating]
[Emma] Jesus.
[sighs]
Hey, Julie, I'm onmy way to class.
I just have aminute. What's up?
I just went toRussell's pottery class,
which he never misses,and he wasn't there,
and his teacher said it wasa weird day for him to miss
because he was aboutto do under-glazing,
and he hasn't returnedany of my texts,
and none of his friendshave heard from him,
and I think something'swrong with him, Dad.
Like, this isn't like him.
Right.
Okay, well, something'sdefinitely happened to him.
What, do I call the police?
The FBI doesn't get involvedunless it's been three days,
I know that from Euphoria.
[Hank] Look,
what is the most logicalexplanation here, okay?
You told Mom you thoughthe was having an affair?
Yeah, but that waswrong. Even Mom said so.
That was about us not connecting
because I never see him.
[Hank] Well, why is that?
Because of that stupidjob you made him take.
Can you just tell me what to do?
[clearing throat]
All right, I'm talking aboutthe simplest reason, okay?
Have you ever heardof Occam's Razor?
Okay?
It means the mostobvious explanation
is very often the truth.
That sounds dumb.
It just means that Russellisn't calling you back,
and he's not coming homebecause he doesn't want to.
Now I know whyMom's leaving you.
- I...- [phone beeps]
"and he sat back inthe doctor's armchair,
and the room got smaller,
and the air got colder,
and the chair gotless comfortable,
- and the carpet..."- Okay, Lester, that's...
That's interesting,interesting take on...
the subject of havingan hour left to live,
but I think we left Jen'sstory a little early.
Jen, you said yourprotagonist was 24?
- Twenty-two, actually.- Okay, whatever.
She needs help,
but she never asksher father for help.
Why is that?
Well, her father'snot in the story.
The story's about how shelost her neighbour's dog.
Yes, yes, but asa curious reader,
I'm just wondering ifthe father gave her,
you know, probably trueadvice on how to find a dog,
or manage one,
what... what wouldthat look like?
Why would she callher dad, though?
I mean, I don't think the reader
is going to bethinking about that.
The perceptive reader would.
[Bartow] No.
No call, 'cause...
here's what's going to happen.
She's going to giveher dad a call,
and he's going to give somemessed-up fatherly advice,
and probably get too involved
and take away her agency.
No way she's calling her dad.
You called your father.
What?
Are we talking about my story?
So, what about my story?
No, we're still talkingabout Jen's story,
just Jen's story,
but let's...
Take away her agency,let me push back on that.
[sighs]
She's an adult, sohow does he do that?
He can't.
Also, if he doesn't helpher, isn't he abandoning her?
[Bartow] No, it stilltakes away from her story.
Well, it shows that he cares.
He could just care in his head becauseI didn't write him into the story.
[Bartow] If I may, Professor,
I think what you'retrying to say is that...
Well, and this is alsotrue in my experience,
every character carriesthree characters with them,
a father, a mother,
a younger sister.
Yeah! That's right.
But is this kindof character work
on people who aren't actuallyin the story really important?
[Bartow and Hanktogether] It's vital.
[Hank] Yeah, uh...
[stammers]
Yes, I mean, thefather is in her life.
He should be in her story.
Yeah, he should helpher find the dog.
[exhaling] Okay.
Then, um...
her father diedwhen she was three.
- Aw, that's...- Okay, yeah,
no, that's just lazy.
[Hank] Yeah.
[cell phone buzzing]
What?
Have you seen Russell?
- [Meg] Nope.- Has he been at work?
[Meg] Nope.
Okay, well, if you see him,have him call me, okay?
Julie is worried about him.
[Meg] Yup.
Is everything okay?
You can't hide forever.
[sighs] I know.
To wit, I have never beenmore stuck in the muck
than on that blisteryNew York evening,
and, of course,
my mind went directly to Dickens
and his irrationalfear of hansom cabs.
[others] Ah.
[Henry] Um, where was I?
Uh, fear of cabs.
[Henry] Yes. We knowDickens suffered trauma
from a trainderailment he was in.
He wrote a letter in 1865
to an opera singerhe met in Paris,
Madame Pauline Viardot.
Fascinating...
[Hank quietly] You let him out?
- Well, I couldn't just lock him in...- What did you do to him?
He hates Dickens, okay? He's writtenthree books on how much he hates Dickens.
Well, I didn't know.
[Hank thinking] Whatis it about fame
that turns people intosycophantic morons?
I mean, he can barelytie his own shoelaces,
and he's spitting out nonsensefrom muscle memory here,
and they're riveted,
like he's Taylor Swift,
and they're, youknow, the world.
Scintillating anecdote.
- I wonder if you might perhaps drop by my class.- [Hank] Oh, no, no.
No. We've got to leave.
- What? He didn't finish his story.- Yeah.
Yes, he did.
A few more minutes.
Okay. I'll see you in 10 years.
[chuckles]
Hey...
Your daughter hung up on me.
Good for her.
If you're not careful, she'sgoing to turn out like you.
Maybe she's still mad at you.
Mad at me? Why?
Why? Because you fired her.
You lied to her.
You told her thatyou didn't have
any more classes to offer her.
But she doesn't know I lied.
You told her?
Well, she was going totake a gig in Tennessee.
You know? So, whatam I going to do,
see her once a year?
She's the only daughter I like.
What are my Thanksgivingsgonna be without Margaret?
Sitting in some damn diner
listening to mystupid son-in-law
talk about monster truck shows?
You handled this perfectly.
Nice job.
Okay, the lecture's over.
Seriously. Come on.
You've got to get your coat.
[Emma sighs]
If anyone calls,I've gone fishing.
- Okay.- [telephone rings]
- I got it.- English department.
Uh, okay.
Hey, Gracie?
Dean Rose would like to see you.
He wants to see me?
Can't I just...Can I call him?
He said it's a sensitive matter?
Is... Is someonefrom Human Resources
going to be there?
He didn't say?
Well, this can't be.
I mean, you...you don't think...
You don't think that this is...
I was just published!
[Rourke whistles]
- I'm sorry.- It's all right, Jill, I sent for her.
- Gracie, sit...- I will not sit, and I will not go,
gently or otherwise...
- Gracie...- and if I do,
you can count onit being otherwise.
- Gracie...- My class enrolments
are the highestin the department.
All of my courseshave waitlists.
Sometimes, studentswait two or three hours
- to see if they're granted access!- Gracie.
How can you put me onthe chopping block?
Oh, this isn't about that.
This...
I did it.
I'm getting a divorce.
It's finally happening.
- You moved out?- Well...
- Oh, my God.- No, this is real.
I said the words.She took it well.
Too well, to be honest,
and she actually thanked me
because I brought it up first,
and then she wentout with friends.
You're too late.
Maybe,
maybe if you had come tome six months ago, but...
I am on the rise.
You had your chance.
"We dipped ourpalms in chalk to...
keep our handsfrom letting go...
and..."
Interesting interpretation.
It's 380 square feet,
- massive walk-in closet.- Mmm-hmm.
Hardwood floors,
- and a cute little alcove.- Oh, yeah.
That's nice.
And you're only two blocks awayfrom the A and C subway lines,
which takes you rightinto Penn Station.
- That's where your school is, yeah?- Yeah.
And this one's $2,900?
$2,885.
Oh.
Hmm?
I don't know.
It's very cute.
It's a little small.
I'm just thinking if my husbandcomes to visit, or my daughter,
or what if both of them come atthe same time, then what do we do?
[chuckles]
Okay, I'm noticinga pattern here.
Do you see the pattern?
Look, I show you a small place,
you talk about visitors.
-I show you a big place...-Oh, yeah, I see. [chuckling]
Okay,
here's what we're gonna do.
I only do this formy favourite clients.
- Close your eyes.- Okay.
Now imagine your perfect day.
Okay.
I... I wake up early,
and I go for a run,
and then...
I get a cappuccino nearby,
maybe a really good croissant.
Work.
I go to a cafe after
for, like, emails and whatever.
Um...
meet up with a friend or two
for drinks and dinner,
some place new and fun,
and then home,
settle in,
watch TV, or...
read in bed.
[sighs]
[Eddie] And that'syour perfect day?
Yeah, more or less.
Okay.
Now, here's what I'm hearing.
No husband,
no kids,
no visitors.
Eh...
just sayin'.
I think I picked thewrong perfect day.
Oh, come on, he was tryingto rent you an apartment.
I feel guilty.
Why? You're here, soyou're thinking about here.
I have to go to the bathroom.
Oh, shit.
My husband.
[woman laughing nervously]
Shit.
Hey!
- What a surprise.- I know, right?
- [laughs awkwardly]- How lucky.
- I had a client nearby.- Ooh.
Did you order yet?
No, uh, just waiting for a menu.
Fantastic. Okay, great.
- It's so good you're here.- Everything okay... at work?
- Not really.- It's a tough day for me, too.
Yeah, looks like it.
Well, I heard you say thatit was a good place...
So, uh, Steve and Fiona
invited us up to theBerkshires this weekend.
You know, their housein the Berkshires.
Uh-huh.
So I'll just say that we're,you know, too busy to go, or...
- I mean, how nice is their house?- It's a shithole.
[laughs]
Here we are!
One Italian chopped salad,
and one chicken penne.
That's ours.
-I don't think so...-No, that's definitely ours. We ordered it.
- Mmm-hmm.- Yup.
[clears throat]
Thanks.
Looks tasty.
Do you want to share, or...
Actually, I want a divorce.
But, uh... But-but why?
Well, I feel like you'renot honest with me,
or with anyone really.
You know, I feel you're...
You're a dishonest person.
Uh, but-but that's not...
Why are you doing this?
And your erections are soft.
- Not always.- And you're clingy.
I mean, I can't evenhave lunch on my own
without you havingto be all over it.
I thought you likedhaving lunch with me.
No, you know what?
It's me.
Yep. I'm just not fulfilled.
You want to tell me why?
You really wanna know?
I'm not in the sameplace as when we met.
I've grown, or...
Or at least I'm trying,
and I feel like you haven't...
Or maybe you're just starting,
but, like, it's aseries of, like...
false starts,
and it never... t neverreally goes anywhere,
and...
And I can't just keep...
waiting,
hoping,
for no other reason than to hope
that we're going to...
That we're going to bein sync again, so...
I have made some big decisions,
and I'm starting to see
that those decisionsdon't involve you anymore,
and I'm really sorry,
but they just don't.
So, um...
am I going to go, or are you?
- Um...- Oh, Jesus.
- There.- Where are we?
Just sit here, okay?
Don't touch anything. Don't talkto anyone, and if you have to pee,
don't.
I'll be right back.
[knocks briskly]
I called the bar.
They told me your shiftended an hour ago.
I know Billie toldyou what I told her,
I mean, about the classes.
I'm sorry that I did that.
I shouldn't have.
I really don't want totalk about this right now.
Yeah.
Hey, do you think wecan get past this?
Because I want youto know why I did it.
- 'Cause I think you're better...- It's just a bad time, Hank, okay?
Yeah. Yeah, all right.
Russell?
[Russell from inside] Yeah?
[sighs] Oh...
Julie is worried about you.
- Dad, um...- Just put your pants on.
I'm going to take youhome to your wife.
- So, Gramps...- No.
- CarMax!- [Hank] What?
CarMax!
- [Hanks] That's obviously not a CarMax...- It's a car-looking place.
- You know what I'm talking about.- No, it's fine. Leave it.
- I'm not going in.- Pull over!
- Pull over!- No, I don't want...
- Pull over right now!- All right, calm down!
- I'm pulling in!- [Russell laughing]
No laughing!
I'm not ready for you to laugh!
What did he do? What'd you do?
He cheated on his wife.
Bah! She'll be fine.
All right, you canlook at the cars.
You have as muchtime as it takes me
to try to pee.
[cell phone buzzing]
What?
[Hank] You'll never believewho I've got in my car.
Is he with you? Is he okay?
Yeah.
He's okay in the waythat you mean it.
Where was he?
Well, I'll let him tell you.
I'll have him homein 20 minutes.
Okay.
Thank you. Bye.
You know, you don'tknow the whole story.
I only know the dirty parts.
It's just it's hardwith Julie sometimes.
You don't know how she gets. Iget excited about this great idea,
and all she does is tell me allthe reasons why it's stupid.
Like, they thoughtGoogle was a stupid idea
until it made a million dollars.
I just feel like sometimes...
Sometimes, I needsomebody in my corner
who doesn't make me feellike a complete loser.
All right, well, maybe you needto find a different corner.
- What's this?- [knocking on window]
- You're Henry's son, right?- Yeah.
Yeah, well, he's chosen a car,
but, um, he's goingto need a co-signer.
Uh, no. He... He can't drive.
And also, the lastthing he needs
is my financial backing.
Yeah, well, he needs someone's.
No credit, unpaidcredit-card bills,
terrible creditrating, no savings.
This can't be right.
What?
[car horns honking]
And she thinks you're a loser.
[sighs]
- Get in.- [Henry] Okay.
[Hank] You're notbuying a car today.
[Henry] Okay, okay.
[line ringing]
[Laurel] Hank,dear. Where are you?
Where is Henry?
All right, I'm about toleave a car dealership
with my esteemed father.
Did you know that heis completely broke?
[Laurel] Of course I knew.
Of course you knew.
All right, I'm puttingyou on speaker phone
so you and Dad can getyour stories straight.
Go.
- Give me this.- [Laurel] Your father is a very important man,
the kind of man whogets taken advantage of.
It was Belinda.
[Laurel] It was Melanie. AJoyce scholar. Zero originality.
Let me guess.
You cheated on her,
more than once,
so she got her revenge bystealing all your money?
My money wasn't theonly thing she stole.
She plagiarised mytheory about Dubliners!
The bitch.
[Laurel] You're beingvery unfair, Hank.
Your father's in a crisis.
We're his family.
- It's our duty to take care of him...- [Hank] Alright.
My duty is to gosee my daughter,
and I'm going todo that right now.
[disconnects call]
Give me that.
Hey, Dad.
Is he in the car?
Honey, can we sit down?
No. Where is he?
He ran away.
Very funny. Can youtell me where he is?
Julie, you were right.
He was cheating on you.
No.
No, he can't, he's nota good enough liar.
You have to understand
that guys like Russell, hon',
they're... They're small.
He's my husband.
I know it's hard to hear,
but I want you tounderstand, you know,
so you're not wondering.
He doesn't feel respected.
He doesn't feelsmart around you...
Stop. Stop.
You're just making shit up.
- He wasn't cheating on me!- I'm not making... No!
Thank you.
You're an Amazon Prime member?
- That...- Dad...
- Doesn't that co...- He wasn't cheating on me!
Look, he's terrifiedto face you, okay?
He's a little boy.
Can he even grow a beard?
Why are you taking his side?
I'm not taking his side.
I'm just making excusesfor him, his excuses.
I didn't say... I'msaying them, but...
[car horn honking]
You left Grandpa in the car?
He's fine.
He can fiddle with the knobs.
It's a wonderland for him.
Where is the fiction section?
Uh, this is not a bookstore.
I saw some paperbacksover there.
Okay, well, that'sthe fiction section.
We had betterlibraries at Columbia.
Right, right,
but did Columbia havea plumbing aisle?
Well, where's yourassistant, the boy?
What boy?
The one you were mad at.
That's my daughter'shusband, okay?
And he was cheating on her.
That's why you were mad?
Yeah, that's why I was mad.
You're being too hard on him.
Dalliances happen.
- It's part of marriage.- No, it isn't.
It's hurtful and it's wrong.
I've been there, buddy.
Sometimes, it's right.
There are tears, sure,
but people come out stronger.
No, they don't.
From personal experience,
I can tell you they do.
You can lose yourselfin a marriage
if you're not careful.
The key is to identify
what will make you, theindividual, prosper.
Yeah? And whatabout your son, huh?
Should you havebeen there for him?
I was never goingto be a father.
That wasn't me.
What was I gonna do?
You can't be in between in life.
You've got put yourself all in.
Make that choice.
So no regrets, huh?
I have regrets,
sure.
Yeah?
Recently,
I've started rereading Dickens.
Oh, much of the work isappalling, of course, maudlin.
Still,
I recognise
I was too hard on him.
I feel almost as if I havesinned against the man.
[Hank thinking] Deprived of thepossibility of confrontation,
I turned to revenge.
I realise that theCount of Monte Cristo
was unfulfilled by his revenge,
and ended uppitying his nemesis,
and even helping him.
I hate to call ol'Dantes a softie,
but I have to say,
this feels just fine to me.
[knocking on door]
I don't need anymore of your help.
I'm not here to help.
[tap water running]
["While You Stand"by Michael Nau plays]
♪♪ I am a mountain ♪♪
♪♪ High as can be ♪♪
♪♪ Yes, and I am anocean While you... ♪♪
♪♪ While you stand by me ♪♪
♪♪ Oh, but I am thefool You know ♪♪
♪♪ Anytime you don't ♪♪
♪♪ No telling where I'll go ♪♪
♪♪ Or where I won't ♪♪
♪♪ Where I won't ♪♪
♪♪ Mmm, mmm, mmm... ♪♪