I've never seen anyone have less fun dancing.
You look constipated.
Felix. Shut the fuck up. Okay?
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
I'm not gonna lie, this plate is fire.
Whoa, whoa, what... Felix?
It's not my fault. She's freaking out. Her body's changing, hormones.
Shut the fuck up, Felix, okay? You look like Filipino Jared Leto.
Sorry, I'm sorry. I just...
Oh, ah!
This dress looks so fucking stupid. I look so fucking stupid.
I want to die, like, it's...
It's okay. It's just a quinceañera dance.
Right?
Why so serious?
Mmm?
It's not the dance.
Is it because Suzy's here?
You two are basically dating. What's there to be nervous about?
It's not Suzy.
It's your parents.
I can't, fucking, like...
dance with my own girlfriend?
Yeah, but you will.
I mean, you have to.
I know.
It's just that they were like,
"This is a really important day
and remember that your abuela's gonna be here
and don't do any weird shit, mija."
It's just like, I'm the weird shit.
Well...
We'll see, because I have a plan.
Let's do some weird shit, mija.
Yeah?
Okay.
Oh, bro, you are crushing it.
Thanks, dude.
Okay, be honest, how many of these buttons do you actually press? Shit!
- Bro! Are you serious? - Shit. Uh...
- I'm so sorry. I didn't... - This is...
Formation! Wall! Vamos!
But, what's happening?
- Go, titi! Go, titi! - No.
Going again. Let's get it together, people.
♪ Todas mis nenas Estan bailando reggaeton ♪
♪ A todos los Que se copian de mi flow ♪
♪ Tengo dinero siempre me robo el show ♪
♪ Todas mis nenas Estan bailando reggaeton ♪
♪ Nalgas hacia el piso ♪
Okay. No, no. Stop, stop, stop.
How many times do I have to tell you?
Isa, I was moving my hips.
No, you're moving them in a circle, which is this way.
What I need for you to do is an oval shape, which is like this.
Do you see the difference?
No, I don't.
Irregardless, if you can't tell the difference between basic shapes,
we're gonna have to find an alternative version
because I'm not letting you fuck up my song.
- Okay, that's... That's our song. - Let's not get into semantics right now.
This is my reggaeton debut. My Latin music quinceanera.
Can't you see? It's a perfect metaphor.
But doesn't it feel like a lot of shit?
The quince, the New Year's Eve party. It's a lot of shit.
No, New Year's is the year's birthday. It's art.
You don't get it.
And I'm not gonna argue with someone that's living rent-free in my guest house
- for the past two weeks. - I'm trying to look for another place.
If that's the case, I need you to clean up after yourself
because Maria told me about your little PB&J sandwiches,
- the little stains on my mohair couches. - Isa?
Um, hi, I'm so, so sorry to interrupt, darling, but we need to finish up
because Javier Luna's team is here to prepare for his rehearsal.
Javier Luna is here? Oh, my God.
Javier Luna is here?
Yeah, we added him to the New Year's lineup.
Apparently, he's doing a magic trick or something
and they're gonna saw him in half. As if he couldn't get any hotter.
What are these guys doing here?
Oh, my God, I could care less about your little drama, to be honest.
Look! Rehearsal is over. Be better!
This is so awkward, like, right away.
Oh.
- What are you guys doing here? - I manage Javier Luna now.
And Felix is directing Javier's New Year's performance
and I manage Felix, as you know.
Wow, um...
Okay.
Yeah, let's go. We gotta rehearse.
I know how you feel.
If he saws himself in half, he needs another pair of legs.
- What happened to the last pair? - He said they weren't elegant.
- Oh, fuck. - Yeah.
Diablo! One incredibly awkward encounter wasn't enough for you today?
Can we talk?
Please?
Oh, gosh.
Random. I have a phone call.
Yes? Hey, Mom. How was surgery? Were they able to save the foot?
How are you?
Guys, I fucked up.
- I've missed you so much. - Felix.
Right, um...
Fuck you.
Fucking dumb bitch.
- I'll slit your throat. - Okay.
- Right.
Listen, I'm upstairs dancing to this song about friendship.
And you guys walk in and I realize
that I'm doing the complete opposite of what the song is about.
And I just wanna say that I'm sorry and...
I fucked up big time.
Okay. Is that it? Or...
Well, if I'm being honest, I... I thought that I was living the dream.
Being this reggaeton star. I thought it was my destiny, but...
Reggaeton is not my destiny.
You guys are. And I'm nothing without you two.
And that's exactly why the song worked, because...
...it was real, you know?
It was the truth. Like, you guys are my corillo
and I'm sorry that it took so long to realize the shit
that I knew my whole entire life.
What are we gonna do? Like, not forgive you now?
I'm sorry.
I know.
We accept. It's a good apology.
So will you manage me again?
Of course. I need somebody to talk shit about my other client with.
Um, so, what are you gonna do about Isa?
Just gonna tell her it's over.
Just like that. She's gonna love that.
Oh, my God. Let's go.
You guys wanna get PB&J's?
Hey! There he is.
- You're 15 minutes late. - Oh, am I? Sorry about that.
I'm in a time crunch. I left my kid in the car.
Just kidding. I gotta pick him up at daycare.
And you're getting a drink before? Super classy of you.
What the fuck do you want, Mia?
Okay, so Javier needs a little more money for his big trick at the end.
He wants to saw himself in half, so it's become a little pricier
- than we thought... - Absolutely not.
If he keeps this magic shit up, he's gonna saw his career in half.
That's good.
I gotta write that down. Have you got a pen?
Oscar, the contract says that I...
I know what the fucking contract says. I wrote...
Okay, I approved the contract.
If you blew your budget, then that's just poor management.
You know, we don't pay for clients' extracurricular activities.
Yeah. Oscar, you know that's not true.
You literally helped Abel put out his children's book.
Okay, fine. Whatever. I'll pay for the stupid magic performance.
Thank you.
Make sure the album is ready for one of these release slots.
BPM can't budge on that.
You can. You do it all the time.
God damn it. Get out of my head.
There were so many powerful statements
that I wanted to make when I wrote "Corillo."
Um, one that really stands out to me is,
"Me fui pal calentón with my corillo."
- Calentón is slang. - Yeah.
And it means going back to what really matters.
This song is about my corillo.
Do you mind, uh, clearing the room for a moment?
Yeah.
Because I need to decompress. I got a stress migraine.
- Come on. - Santi, what is it?
I'm doing an interview about what inspired us for "Corillo."
Yeah, but you just stole exactly what I told you
about why I wrote my song "Corillo."
Of course not. I... I didn't mention Puerto Rico
because I don't like to culturally-appropriate.
- I don't think... - Isa, I can't do this anymore.
I'm sorry?
Are you breaking up with me?
Isa, what are you talking about?
We were never in a relationship anyway.
Unbelievable.
After everything that I did for you?
Isa, I've abandoned my lifelong friends
for this relationship.
I'm not doing the New Year's performance, okay?
I'm not gonna ask for anything else from you.
I just want my song.
I'm not gonna tell anyone about what...
This agreement that we have together.
I'm just gonna leave and you'll never see me again.
Isa, are you okay?
Isa.
Everything's fine, all right?
I promise.
Did you believe that?
Yes.
Because there's plenty more where that came from.
Santi, why are you cheating on me?
What the fuck are you talking about?
Did you think I was joking when I said I would end you if you ever crossed me?
How do you have that?
Hello! They're, like, shooting a documentary on my life!
There's, like, cameras everywhere.
I warned you not to embarrass me.
But I didn't embarrass you. That was a private moment.
Santi, please.
Wake up.
Santi, we're famous. There are no private moments.
Look. You have two choices.
One, you go through with this breakup and I go full Lemonade on your ass
and I destroy you and your little girlfriend's life,
which seems like a pretty sad choice to me.
And then you got choice number two.
You do this New Year's debut with me.
We release our hit single,
and your great-grandchildren collect royalties for the rest of their lives.
It seems like a pretty easy choice, pork chop.
Ugh.
We already blew through Oscar's money and we're still over budget.
We can have this over here now...
So, I know things have been, like, extremely weird between us since, um...
You know. And, um...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for how everything went down.
You don't have to apologize to me. I get it.
Okay.
That was easier than when I practiced with my therapist.
I mean, I was pissed when I found out that you lied.
I was really fucking pissed,
but I thought about everything that you did
and what you would've had to go through to get here, and I mean,
your boss was Oscar and that dude seems like a dick.
Thank you for saying that.
He's such a dick.
You had to find your own way to make yourself feel seen
in this crazy fucking industry.
And I get what it's like to be the only one in the room sometimes, so...
You mean the only one who's not a dick?
Everything I did was for you guys.
I know that now. Thank you.
And if you hadn't acted crazy and taken those risks,
we wouldn't have all of this
- and I wouldn't be losing my mind now. - All right.
Ah, okay, well,
you, my friend, are full of surprises,
but, no, no, we can't fire another pair. We just can't.
Bro, how are they supposed to believe I cut myself in half
if my legs are dancing and they look nothing like my real legs do?
Right, right. And I hear you, bro.
That being said, we've gone through so many wonderful pairs of legs.
Yeah, but none of these legs have flow like mine.
But...
Cabrón, figure it out.
You're the creative director, right? Then create!
Talk to you when I talk to you.
- No. - For God's sake...
No! He said those were the legs! He promised!
Well, he changed his mind... again.
And we're totally fucked.
The show is tomorrow and we're legless.
Legless!
Legless.
Pants off.
What do your legs look like?
We're all doing leg auditions.
- I just wanna see... - We're not the same color as him.
We're here live in Miami for the hottest New Year's Eve party,
where global icon Isa is set to debut her new single
with a special performance that will be live-streamed around the world.
I can't believe I thought she was actually starting to like me.
You told me this was gonna happen and I didn't listen to you.
Okay, it's no fun to say, "I told you so," if you cop to it first.
Look, we will figure something out.
Santi.
Come here, please.
This is my life now.
Stay strong. We'll catch you inside.
He's just so shy sometimes.
- Come on. - I'm here.
I'm just, like, so excited.
I feel so blessed to have met Santi.
You know, "Corillo" shouldn't be "Corillo: Featuring Santi."
It should really say "Corillo: Because of Santi."
Isn't that right?
- Isn't that right? Mmm. - Yes.
How, um... lovely.
Great. It was so good to see you, Celeste.
Okay, um...
Yo, hey, are you good?
Yeah.
Hey, look, I really try not to judge anyone
for how they live their life or their career,
but I gotta ask you, as a friend, of course,
Why the fuck are you doing this shit?
It's good for my career, you know?
Featuring Santi? What is that about?
It's not your song anymore? The world is gonna think it's hers.
Listen, I know it sucks, but I gotta do this.
No, you don't.
Actually, yes, I do, because if I don't, Isa's gonna release this.
Fuck. What the fuck is that?
I'm sorry.
That would ruin my entire career.
My reputation wouldn't mean shit, Santi.
Listen, believe it or not, I actually listen to you when you talk.
And of course that picture's gonna ruin me too for a second.
I mean, probably longer.
And the Isa hive, they're just really bad people
and I can't let them screw you over because you don't deserve that.
Wow, um...
Thanks, I guess. I mean...
I don't know what to say here.
Listen, uh, I'm sorry and...
I'm just... I'm gonna figure this out. Okay?
How?
Don't ask me that yet.
Sant...
- Hey. Hey. - Hey.
Santi, just doing a little pre-show check-in.
Good? Everyone good? Settled in?
Hey, all of BPM really wants to thank you for being such a team player.
You're doing the right thing. You don't wanna fuck with Isa.
Hey, don't worry.
Your time will come. Eventually.
Probably.
Fuck!
Why so serious, my friend?
Am I just throwing away my career by going through with this?
You have to do this.
And we'll get through it together.
We are forever.
Right?
Whatever happens, man, I'm there for you.
Minus right now.
I mean, right now, I got to go direct Javi.
And Mia and Ness also have to come,
so technically you are alone at this moment.
Listen, I... I love you, bro. You're gonna kill this shit.
If we don't go broke trying. I am way over budget on this trick.
I told you we're fine.
We can cover the rest of it. It's okay.
Uh, with what money?
Uh...
I sold the Porsche to make up for the overages. So, you're good.
- What? Why? - You love that car.
Yeah, I've never loved anything
the way I love that beautiful piece of blue German machinery.
And I sold it for a fucking magic trick.
And that is how much I believe in you, Felix.
Oh, my God.
This better fucking work.
It will.
Or it won't. It very conceivably could not work.
It likely will fail.
But either way, thank you.
All right. Um, hey.
You got this.
Suerte.
What was that voice you did?
It's Joker in Spanish.
Oh.
Ladies and gentlemen, Javier Luna!
Come on, buddy. You can do it.
Oh!
This is pretty fucking cool.
And for my final trick, I'll make myself disappear.
Wow.
R with R cigar
R with R barrel. Rapidly.
We are ready for you, Isa.
Here goes nothing.
Oh!
Are y'all ready?
Oh!
Did you see that?
Great fucking trick.
What the fuck?
I need to admit something.
Isa and I were never together. It was actually all bullshit.
Like, I was so lost chasing fame and success
that I lost sight of what really matters.
And to me, it's my friends.
My corillo.
And that's why I wrote this song.
¡Formación! ¡Vamos!
♪ Quien va a estar pa' mi Cuando ya... ♪
What is he doing?
♪ Cuando me caiga Quien me va a levantar ♪
♪ Cuando todas las luces Se apaguen en la ciudad ♪
♪ Quien me va a llamar ♪
♪ Yo! ♪
♪ Me volvi co-dependiente ♪
♪ De lo que opine la gente Por mis inseguridades ♪
♪ No se ven pero se siente ♪
♪ Y si mañana sientes... ♪
It's literally my song, bro.
♪ No se preocupen Que me fui pal calentón ♪
♪ Con el corillo siempre la paso cabrón ♪
♪ Soy millonario sin tener un millón ♪
♪ Vamos a bailar esta vida Como un reggaetón ♪
♪ Que pa eso se hizo ♪
♪ Si lo míos están bién Yo mejor estoy ♪
♪ Mil problemas pero... ♪
And he forgot to do the oval! I...
♪ De aquí no me voy Yo no me voy hoy ♪
♪ Que ando con el coro mío ♪
♪ Que se joda, que se joda Eso de vivir amargao ♪
♪ Hace rato pasó de moda ♪
♪ Ya yo compré los trajes Pa' mi pana pa' la boda ♪
♪ Por si vuelvo y me enamoro ♪
♪ Y si me rompe el cora Ellos van a estar ahí también ♪
Well, well, well. If it isn't my Pretty Little Liar.
Uh, Reformed Liar. I lie a little bit.
♪...que me fui pal calentón ♪
♪ Con el corillo siempre la paso cabrón ♪
♪ Soy millonario sin tener un millón ♪
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year to you.
♪ Que pa eso se hizo ♪
♪ Que me fui pal calentón ♪
I feel like I hear a countdown.
What?
- I don't hear anything. - No, I definitely hear a countdown.
Like, um... Like a five, four...
- Three, two... - Mmm-hmm. Two...
Uh-uh.
I'm not so easy.
Okay. Maybe I'm a little easy.
Okay, so, uh... The Internet loves Santi.
Yay!
- That's nice. - Yeah.
Uh, BPM and Isa's legal team, they... Yeah, they do not.
Boo!
Yeah.
Speak of the devil. It's Oscar.
Yo, what up, man? How's it hangin'? To the left or to the right?
If you happen to be with Santi, can you pass along a note?
Oh, yeah. Totes.
We're suing you for everything.
You're never gonna work in this industry again.
By the time we're done,
you legally won't be able to sing "Happy Birthday."
You don't fuck with Isa or BPM.
Okay. Um, bye.
So what good is the Internet loving you if you can never work again?
On top of that, we owe Gina at least 400 grand.
Trying to lighten the mood.
It's not a disaster.
It's close.
Great. There's someone else calling to yell at me about this shit.
- Hey, maybe you should pick up the phone. - Actually, no.
I think you should pick up the phone.
Ness, clearly he doesn't wanna answer the call. Just give it up.
Sometimes your persistence comes across as bullying.
Santi, oh, my God!
Santi, dímelo.
- What? - Oh, shit. DY. Daddy Yankee.
Yeah, I liked your performance.
You're bare. You hit it.
Wait, hold on. You...
Wait, you watched my...
So, do you have any tips or something? I don't...
No, man, it's fuego. I love it the way it is. Organic. Cool.
Thank you, but I don't know... what's going to happen.
I don't know who's gonna wanna work with me after this.
Come by the studio. I got some fuego...
- Para a romperlo... - No, guys, this is a deepfake.
Stop fucking with me. Please?
- No, I have nothing to do with this. - No. Stop. Hey.
This is real. He likes your stuff.
- Hey. - Hey.
Bro. You know who you're talking to right now, bro. Come on.
I'm sorry, bro. This has just...
This has been my... This has been our dream.
Yeah, we love your "Gasolina." Sincerely.
Wait, how did you get my phone number?
Man, you know. PR, baby.
No fallamos.
No fallamos!
What's that mean?
It means we don't miss.
Oh, that's cool!
- Yeah! - Let's go!
We got a song with DY!