- Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -
Where are we going today?
I don't know you tell us, you're driving.
I don't even know where we are.
- Ah. - No.
- Did you just run a light? - No.
I'm so nervous about all of this.
I've learned to make peace with my sudden death.
I don't look at the road.
Well, I have my Kris Jenner hairstyle
and no one's allowed to talk to me like that.
Shut up, Mom!
Alright guys, we got Rob Elrod.
Age 42, hometown of Olathe, Kansas.
- He's 5'9", weighs 230 pounds. - Yay! My height.
Not my weight.
He's nominated by Sawnsai, his wife's best friend.
You want juice? Sure.
I have known Rob,
I wanna say like eight years, nine years.
- And a Skittles. - Ah...
I don't know if we have any Skittles, we'll have to look.
Um, I think this one's says Davis.
And this little juice says Vincent.
If every man walking on this earth
could just be a little bit more like him,
we'd be in a much better place.
I'm a single father.
I take care of my two children.
I've been working for the last 15 years
as a manager of a bar and grill,
and I'm just trying to figure out all this being a daddy
and how to do it on my own.
Alison found out she had cancer
while she was in the hospital after she'd just given birth to Vincent.
We thought it's breast cancer, lots of people get it.
They take care of it, you move on.
We weren't that lucky.
She went through all the chemo, no problem.
She got halfway through the radiation
and then she started beginning to get dizzy.
And that's when we realized that
the cancer spread to her brain.
Oh, that breaks my heart.
And leaving two young kids.
Since Alison died, I think it's just, he does things for convenience.
Can I have a snack?
Yeah we're gonna make a quick hot sandwich.
- Yeah. - Yeah, alrighty.
Whatever he can microwave or is convenient, is what he's been doing.
But Alison would have wanted these kids to have
a very healthy lifestyle.
One, two, three, jump. Very good.
Currently, Rob's two mother-in-laws dress his children.
Rob can't even dress himself let alone his kids.
Susan likes to do the shopping,
and she also likes to fold the kids' clothes together
so we're not putting plaid on plaid, for example.
If I did not have the help, my boys would be dressed a lot more sloppy.
I try to be Rob's reminder of all of the things that Alison would want.
She tasked me with making sure that he moved out of their house,
by the time Davis started kindergarten.
I bought a new house not terribly far from here,
in kind of a neighbourhood that my wife always dreamed of us moving to.
Rob buying that house is a huge deal.
That house is so gorgeous, he needs help.
We cannot let him mess this up.
You're gonna never find me in this box.
"So Rob is at a crossroads.
He's been living with one foot in the past and one in the future."
That means he ain't in the present.
We need it all gone.
We need it all gone,
I told your mommy this years ago.
I hate this drawer.
Alison dying has left such a...
monstrous hole in all of our lives.
And the only thing we can do and what she wanted us to do is move on.
I almost feel like I'm nominating Rob on behalf of Alison.
I believe that from wherever she's sitting,
she brought this Fab Five in
to make sure that somebody was going to look out for her husband.
"Rob's throwing a housewarming party... "
I love a housewarming party!
"... and wants to show everyone
that he's ready to accept this new chapter
in his life with confidence and style."
Alright so our mission:
"He's been in the dark but Rob is ready to let the sunshine in."
- Yeah! - Jonathan's going for it.
Oh my god.
Guys we're here! What a cute little house.
This is adorable.
He's moving from this?
Hey, girl.
Hello?
Hello Rob?
- Oh hey! - Come on in.
- Can we come in? - Absolutely.
- Nice to meet you. - Hi.
-I'm Rob Elrod, nice to meet you.
- I'm Bobby. - Hi Bobby, I'm Rob.
- You're Vincent, you're Davis. - Hi five!
- Hello I'm Tan, nice to meet you. - Tan, nice to meet you.
Can I give you a hug?
Yeah, hi, how are you?
You're adorable.
I miss having this hair color.
So this is the old house?
Yeah this is the old house.
How's the packing going, are we almost done or is it...
We're kind of in the process,
still got a little bit more to get to.
So we could mess this place up
- and it's not a concern? - Trash it!
- Yeah, feel free. - Great
I love that you've instruments everywhere,
do you play with the boys sometimes?
Every now and then I get them to sit on it, start playing a bit.
You have such cool graphic tees.
Cute.
- Hello. - Yeah.
Oh my God, you fold.
I do my clothes. I actually do mine.
And it's funny because it's all scrunched in there,
because Alison's side I don't use anymore.
Oh, I like the guitar.
I like playing music.
That's good.
High five!
- There's literally nothing in here, you... - Nothing, no.
There's some spare bedsheets in one of them I think maybe.
- Okay. Here's a few t-shirts. - Uh oh, what's that?
- Oh yeah, some of Alison's old... - Okay.
Oh these are Alison's t-shirts?
Right, a lot of these drawers are empty just because I didn't wanna...
take Alison's space is how I felt.
And I know that was silly and I know if she was around she'd be like,
"Dumbass, put you stuff in there."
I see Alison all over this house.
I can't imagine, even after two years, thinking,
"I want to get rid of my partner's space."
But, it is something he does need to do,
if he is going to be happy for himself again.
I even sleep on my side of the bed still.
- It's a strange thing. - No, no, I get that, I get that.
- What's this? - Is this Dad's idea of breakfast?
No, we eat that in the morning all the time.
- That's breakfast. - You eat that in the morning all the time.
Ok, so little ready-made breakfast sandwiches.
I love a flashlight pointed directly at my face.
It really showcases all my imperfections.
Hold on, I found all of these concert tickets.
- Yeah. - So you two went to a lot of concerts
- and stuff together? - Went to a lot of concerts.
Can't play music very well but I love,
I go to concerts to kind of get energized.
It pulls the negative energy out of me and then,
- I feel refreshed afterwards. - Wow.
Velociraptors jump around like this,
- "Wee, wee." - Go on you do it as well, copy him.
Do you want to do it too? Does he seem crazy?
No, thanks.
- He's like, nah. - I have dignity.
I have dignity, I'll pass. Way too much self-respect.
Tell me, what happens in the morning in the life of you?
You wake up, and then what do we go through?
Come in here, I'll...
floss, brush my teeth.
- You already floss? - I do floss.
- Actually, it's part of... - Let me see your gums.
Oh my god they're so pink and healthy.
- I do what I can. - Yay!
- I try. - So we...
- Brush and floss... - Yes, then what happens?
And then I'll...
- Come in close to me, uncomfortably close. - Ok.
Like it's just like, we want to be,
we can't be close enough!
So... we would.
- It's time to... - Everything you're saying sounds like
the teacher in Charlie Brown
'cause I feel so safe and secure in your arm,
I can't even...
What were you saying about something?
I was... Just talking about us that's all I was talking...
Oh, my God, you were just talking about us?
Can I be a princess?
A princess? Of course you can.
- I need to get that. - Yes.
- Look, you're a... - You're a princess.
Yeah, yeah.
So tell me about these.
You know, I've never been an early riser, so it's...
Kind of get up when they do about 7:00 am,
give 'em something quick and easy,
then I got a little time to myself to get me ready,
and then I come in and get them ready.
Mac 'N Cheese is one of their favorite things,
Mac 'N Cheese and hot dogs,
I cannot, I'm trying to get their palette past that
but that's just where they've been stuck for a while.
So you want them to evolve in terms...
I eventually I want to get to where
we can have one meal and we all eat it again.
Your flattop here is like really nice and clean.
It is, yes.
And you seem like a pretty clean guy,
but it's not because you keep it immaculate
- it's because it's not being used. - It's not a lot of use.
This thing has a little bit more rust and wear on it, yeah.
So it seems you've just sort of, you've lost touch.
Right, it just got, I feel like I've put a lot of things on hold.
Alison and I used to love having
a group of friends over and we would always cook different things.
- Steaks we would do... - So you like entertaining.
We loved entertaining, we just,
last two and a half years I really haven't.
A lot of friends don't come over, even the friends
who come over they kind of... feel...
Alison so much it's almost more depressing to them.
- Got you. - Even if it's a fun event.
Mm-hmm.
End of the week I'm having a housewarming party...
So you get to host something for people, this is what you love,
- you like this. - I'm so excited to have a
house full of people again.
Nice.
Full demolition derby you guys, watch...
Bam!
That was dangerous, let's do it again.
Oh, this is a beautiful photo.
I do love that photo, yeah.
Why is it not packed yet?
I just haven't got around to some of those that's...
easier said than done.
I've been digging up old memories everywhere.
After a while, I was trying to move some stuff
out of a cabinet and I was like,
why is there a kids' book in there?
And I didn't realize that she did this, a little...
This is a gift for Davis and Vincent,
a book read to you by Mommy, I love you...
Yeah.
So she...
every page you can hear her voice as she reads to the boys.
You're getting big and tall.
It makes sense you're honoring your wife,
but is there a lot of moments when you're always reliving...
- you're wife not being here... - There's definitely a little bit of that.
Yeah, yeah.
Last two and a half years, it's definitely, you want to progress
but there's always these road bumps that kind of,
slow you down, you gotta stop
and deal with the emotion, you can't avoid it, you just have to stop.
Deal with it, and then kinda move on.
Is that why you're leaving this house?
A little bit of that, but like,
I have fantastic memories here, don't get me wrong but,
it's a part of my wife's plan.
She wanted me to get to a newer house, that's...
with a younger neighborhood
where there's more kids the boys can play with.
That sort of thing so...
- Cute. - This is part of the plan.
It's part of the plan, yeah.
Can I ride your go-cart?
Yep, if you want.
Can I wear your helmet too, though?
- Yeah. - Ok. I don't care.
Ok.
There you go.
Guys I'm totally ready to drive the car the next time.
I don't know what my fear has been.
Your son was showing me this, he was like...
asking me if I know how to play.
When did you get this?
I got it a couple years ago,
with the intentions of learning how to play it.
Something Alison and I talked about is eventually
getting them into sports and music lessons.
And I kinda hope, when they get into music lessons,
maybe I can kinda get in there with them
and do a little bit and we can work on the Elrod Family Band.
We can take Hanson, for sure.
Mmm-bop all day long.
I don't want this to get dusty anymore.
Hey, Rob.
Just this one.
Hi.
- Hi! - Oh, hey Susan.
Oh, look at this.
This is Alison's mom, Susan, everybody.
I can tell, you guys look just alike.
So, when do we get to see the new house,
of where this party's gonna be?
Whenever you guys are ready.
I will take the boys.
Where are we gonna go?
We're gonna go to Grandma's house. We're gonna go to Grandma's house.
- Aww. - Yes.
To the mobile.
Let's blow this popsicle stand.
This is a beautiful area.
It is the first one in the cul-de-sac, that grey...
- Gorgeous. - Oh, wow.
- That's amazing. - Oh, you got a beautiful yard too.
- This is great. - Let's go in.
We're home.
Oh, grand staircase.
- What a good model walking area. - Wow, regal.
Alison wanted a house with stairs.
This house is gorgeous.
This'll be the master bedroom.
- Nice. - Thank you.
Wow, this house is huge.
I love this, I've never had room for a king-sized bed.
I kinda wanted to go get me a king sized bed to put in here.
Ah yeah, I think I'm gonna get you a king-sized bed.
You've definitely got plenty of room for it.
Let's keep going.
You've got enough clothes for this?
We'll find out.
Tanny will set you up.
- There you go. There you go. - Pull your shoulders together.
Next time. I'm breaking out my Daddy voice now.
You, kids, be quiet over there.
We're done.
So... This has been extraordinary,
discovering more about you, your boys, and your life.
I want to make sure that
I find these memories of Alison
in these amazing items that
need to be preserved for the boys.
But tuck them away in their nice little home to where,
when you want to revisit those memories, you can.
I'm very excited about this.
I need it, I need the help.
And I'm glad you guys are here.
- I'm very happy you guys are all here. - We're so happy to be here.
I'm so excited.
Rob has gone through so much the last few years,
and he needs somebody to help bring him out of this
and remind him of who he can truly be.
I wanna take the stress away from him,
of having to create a new home.
The thing that I think Rob needs the most help with
is just getting his life back on track in a normal routine.
So, making sure that the home is functional for them
is really gonna have a huge affect on them.
Rob doesn't find himself having that much time to really
prepare a meal for the boys.
But having a family dinner
is something that was so important to Rob and Alison.
I want him to get excited about cooking for his boys.
I know that we'll be able to get Rob to a place
where he'll realize
it's ok to celebrate life again.
Even though the person he loves
isn't physically here.
In the face of unspeakable tragedy,
there are little moments where you can find joy.
Far be it from us
to be able to create a little baby-bit of a pocket of joy
so you can put one foot in front of the other
and show up for not only yourself,
but the people that are depending on you.
I can't tell you what your pocket of joy is,
I can just tell you that you need to have her.
- Let's herd these kittens. - Come on.
Are you're ready to go shop?
Let's go.
Come on in, Davis.
Hello, hello.
Hi.
Oh, my God. Look how cute you look.
Hello, Rob, how are you?
- Good to see you. - I need you, every time you see me,
- to tell me how cute I look. - Oh, my God. Look how cute you look!
- Do I? - Yeah.
- Ok, you ready to shop? - I'm ready to shop.
- Have you been here before? - Shockingly, no.
How about I support you two
- by taking care of the kids? - Okay yeah, please.
- Speaking of the kids, they look great. - Grandma.
I thought you were about to say, "Oh, I'm responsible for that."
Well, they look great already,
but I'm going to show you how to maintain it yourself.
Hey come here, let me see this.
Do you like this?
Hi, are you enjoying yourself?
- Gonna help us shop for the kids? - Yes, I will.
We've actually already been looking at some clothes.
Oh, you have?
- Yeah. - Are you coming for me?
Maybe there's a spin-off where you
dress men and I dress children.
Just saying.
Ok, so, it makes sense
to come to a store like H&M because they have awesome kidswear.
They've come up with what I call color stories already.
You look around at the boys,
and even Karamo.
Their color story is simple, it's all blue.
It's so easy to change out that shirt
for another blue shirt,
or a white shirt,
and then keep the rest of the colors super simple.
Every time you need to go buy the kids something new
go for a blue, a white, a green.
You're sticking with the colors that are really easy to outfit.
It's fool-proof for Rob.
All he needs to do is
remember to buy within that color story
and it's not going to be difficult to dress them every morning.
Woah, I turned her invisible.
Daddy found that one.
Good job.
Ok, when it comes to your style,
do you like what you're wearing today?
You know, I kind of see
myself like 15 years ago, but older.
I'm still kind of wearing the same style
and I haven't really
kinda progressed.
Why would you put yourself in something that you don't feel great in?
Right. Rob, you ready?
- Absolutely. - Ok great, come and show me.
Here we go. Ok.
Love the shirt, love the shoes.
The jeans I felt a little nervous putting them on but I love the look.
You look great in them.
- They're not skinny, they're slim. - Right.
And I want to show you if you wanted to casual it down,
you can take a jacket from your closet,
real quick change.
If you wanna be more casual,
you're going to a concert instead of a nice dinner,
you could throw on another jacket.
You can feel a little bit cooler, you don't feel as stuffy.
- Does that feel good? - Yeah, that's really nice.
- Good. - Nailed it.
- Wow. - Have you been to EJ's before?
No, and I've heard so much about it, I'm really excited to be here.
This is your life, right?
You love chefs, you love being in a restaurant.
- Hey, Antoni. - And very soon, you're going to love...
this guy, right over here.
Chef, meet my good friend Rob.
Rob, nice to meet you.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Chef.
You guys are known for Brisket,
you guys are known for all kinds of stuff, at EJ's.
But one thing that people would not expect
is this beautiful, magical thing that's being prepared here, right now.
This is our squash casserole,
it's become one of our staple dishes.
Rob has two young boys who are picky-ish eaters.
When I met my wife, she had three kids.
And they were typical kid eaters.
They were eating Mac 'N Cheese, the hot dogs, ramen.
So, me being a chef, I was like "Ok we gonna try something different."
I always tell them, I will never give them nothing that I wouldn't eat.
Food can be so... nostalgia inducing.
I want Vincent and Davis
to have these experiences.
And by something as simple as making something from scratch.
Like, your kids will remember that, I don't remember when my parents
would put something in the microwave and reheat it for me.
But I do remember my father
grilling a steak on the barbecue.
Oh, look at the biscuits sopping up the juices.
I'm ready to eat it now.
- And then coat it with the parmesan on top. - Gotcha.
And then, we set it in the oven and let it bake ten minutes.
Wow.
Everyone is capable of cooking.
Rob is already somebody who knows how,
but I just want to show him that it can be simplified.
When it bubbles like that it means it's perfectly ready to eat.
That's gonna be really hot.
Yeah, I'm gonna wait just a second here.
Skim some off the top.
Oh!
Oh, it's perfect.
- Do you know what these are? - Oh, fish sticks.
We're making fishsticks. This is Mahi Mahi.
It's a very lean, flaky, white fish.
And a little on the healthier spectrum of things
So for the crust, instead of using regular breadcrumbs,
I wanted to do something that was healthier and different
and kind of expand their palettes.
- Are you familiar with macadamia nuts? - I love the macadamia nuts.
They crumble really nicely,
it adds that crunch that you want on the outside of a fish stick,
or anything that you're frying, without using bread.
If you can pound these out, not into a fine powder,
with the rough side here
so that we kind of have this consistency over here.
Okay.
Atta boy.
This feels like a Karamo exercise,
"Let out all your anger."
Perfect, so we're gonna dump those out in here.
We're gonna add a little bit of
lemon pepper seasoning.
Very nice. And our crust is ready, done.
Next stop, we need
the macadamia nuts to hold on to the fish
and how do we do that?
With our dear friend, the egg.
So, now you can grab a couple of these.
Put them in the wash.
And the other hand dry, dip 'em in there.
You just wanna get as much of it coated as possible.
And seriously, like, this is something your kids could actually do.
Right.
Perfect.
So, now we throw one of these in.
Definitely don't want them always remembering Daddy and the mircrowave.
Right?
So, we're already starting to see there's a little bit
of nice browning that's going on underneath.
Beautiful.
Ready.
- Hey. - Hey, hey.
We made a mess and we're done.
- Wanna have a try? - Alright.
How do you like that?
Good.
That's really delicious.
I'm glad.
Your kids will eat these.
Hmm, I just want to have more of this.
I'm sure you can tell we're in your old neighborhood right now.
Old hood.
- I grew up in this house right here... - Wait a minute, what?
With, the flags on the front?
Yeah that was the house I grew up in.
What's it like to be
leaving this neighborhood?
- You've got roots here. - I do.
Some of my best friends are still down the street,
but I'm just kind of ready to keep progressing
throughout this life we live.
I love a good tree with a face on it.
- It's looking a little empty, huh? - It is, wow.
Hey, there's those extra couple socks I couldn't find.
Apparently, I should have dusted more often.
Judge me later.
Wow.
How long before she passed was this?
About two and a half months before.
She really couldn't stand, but we were able...
she wanted to stand for a picture so bad and we
kinda propped her up against that tree,
to where she could look like she was standing.
She just loved that particular park,
it was, she used to call it "the pretty park".
It's not the name, but she called it the pretty park,
and the boys still like going there.
Whenever we're walking down the path and I see that tree,
I'm instantly right back to that moment.
It got me more than I thought it would,
walking in and seeing it empty. It really did.
You know the worst part of all this
is the fact that she can't watch these kids grow.
It's the bottom-line worst aspect of this whole thing.
You know, when I see no couch here, I almost...
think of Alison's hospice bed being here again.
That's not what Alison wants me to remember.
You definitely don't want to forget,
but you do want to not have that pain on the forefront everyday.
I just want the boys to know that when they get older that...
your mom...
squeezed every bit of joy out of this life that she could.
- I found these. - Yeah.
She had the idea
of writing these birthday cards to the boys for birthdays
she wouldn't be there, we were like, "That's a fantastic idea."
And then you put the
card in front of you, and you pick up that pen
to write to your child, knowing you're not gonna be there for that.
I mean, it was unbelievably hard for her to actually,
write these cards out,
knowing that she wanted to...
she wanted to do all 18 years, she wanted to write like
congratulations for getting married card,
things like that but then she just,
it would be too hard she'd have to set the pen down like,
"I can't do it right now."
As hard as it was for her, I just...
She was so strong.
Right here,
"Be nice to your brother."
She did that in every one
because she was so worried about Davis being mean to Vincent,
when clearly she should have wrote that in Vincent's book.
I was just gonna say, I'm like,
I think she had the wrong idea.
She had the wrong child, but...
She's absolutely my angel now.
It's life and
I want to live it as long as I can,
but I'm excited for when I get to see her again.
Not gonna miss the purple hall.
Need a hug?
I found...
a posterboard that Alison's family made her,
for when we thought it was her last chemo treatment.
Seeing it now just makes me really angry
knowing it really wasn't.
What is this place?
Who's house are we going to?
It's a house, but it's a nice house.
It is a nice house.
I'm in love with my shoes.
- And I want to everybody to know it. - They are nice shoes.
They're orange.
- Come on in. - Alright.
Oh, my goodness.
Hey!
- Rob, this is Johnny, Johnny, this is Rob. - Nice to meet you.
- Wow. - I understand you're a bass player.
Ah, no, I hope to aspire to be a bass player someday.
So when we were in your house,
I realized that music was a big part of your life.
Yeah, we loved going to see live music a lot.
Loved listening to music around the house
and busting into dance parties
- on a regular basis. - Yeah.
So the thing is, I want to bring you to a place so you can learn music
and so you can have fun,
and it's something that you can also pass down to your sons.
So that their sons can have the joy of music.
You know, I keep thinking we're happy
but I definitely have some of the bad come in every now and then.
And it's okay for you to have the negatives.
Time happens, and you're on your journey to healing.
You're going to be able to
focus less and less on the negatives
and more and more on the positives.
Because that's the way you're going to be able to heal.
Do you have another bass for him?
I do, it's right there.
Oh, yeah, you're getting
- a full music lesson. - Oh boy.
- Are you feeling it? - So, everybody gets to see
- how bad I still... - No!
This is a positive space.
Look at you, you're like a natural.
Yeah.
We're gonna use this as a space
for you to start figuring out maybe, like,
what the first Elrod family single would be.
- You know what I mean? - So, what I think she would do,
is first just stick to the real easy things.
- Bass, as you know, is more like the drums. - Right.
And we do have pitches,
but it's more about the rhythm,
like we're the foundation of any song.
Okay?
So, let's start on the big, fat string,
the 'E' string.
Yeah, just make up a rhythm,
and I'm gonna play the chords up above,
and we'll just kinda have a little jam session.
Here you go.
Alright, hold on.
When you were hitting that chord, what does this remind you of?
Thinking about Alison, popped in my mind right away, it was just,
she was a little funky, so.
Yes.
You know, just her personality, she would give you belly laughs
- on a regular basis. - Oh, yeah.
I loved being around her, never knowing
what you're gonna see, what you're gonna get, it was just,
what version of fun are you going to find today?
Yeah, nice.
So you need a different rhythm.
Like, don't change the strings so much,
just stay on that 'E'.
Think about a fun, happy, off-the-wall rhythm.
There you go.
Rob is transitioning to this
new phase in his life.
And it's supposed to be filled with happiness,
and good memories.
I think he understands that,
wants that,
and is going to make sure that that happens.
Those bluegrass guys have it harder than I thought.
- We'll get there... - You'll get there, you'll get there.
Can you get that door Davis? Thank you.
- Hi, guys! - Hello, hello.
- How's your week going - Oh, it's been great.
Come on over. Take a seat here.
- Alrighty. - Hey, guys.
- Alrighty. - Alright, Rob.
- Yes. - I really like beards.
My only thing that I'm really not living for...
is this.
Like, I don't like this
- swoopy in-your-face thing. - Yeah.
I just feel like it's kinda,
'cause I feel like this is going down and then this is going down
so I just feel like it's a lot of down.
And I wanna like lift you up.
So, I think I wanna start with your beard,
and then I'm gonna wash your hair, and then I'm gonna cut it.
- So let's do that. - Good deal.
- That was a lot of hair. - Look at all that hair.
Hey don't forget your mustache.
I won't forget that mustache, buddy.
- Let's wash your hair. - Okay.
Really try, when you're washing your hair, get present.
Think about how your fingertips feel on your scalp.
Think about removing the crap off of your scalp.
It's really just a way for you to get
out of your head and into your body
and that's extremely healing to our nervous system,
so close your eyes and relax.
I wanna encourage Rob to...
quiet down and connect with himself
through grooming, so that his internal strength can build up,
so he can get through this in a peaceful, happy way.
Now we're gonna get this haircut going.
Oh, that haircut looks cute.
I can see you too, Vinny-boo.
Look at that cute little face.
Show them your muscles.
- Ooh. - Dang.
He's been hitting the gym.
He is so strong.
How can anybody really ever be depressed with these two kids around?
Well... I dunno, people can.
- They do all the time. - They do, you're right.
You can get paralyzed in the depression at times and, like...
One hundred percent.
That's a perfect way to say it, like...
my stepdad was sick with cancer
and then passed away on my mom
and stepdad's 60th wedding anniversary.
Then, the next year, my mom got diagnosed with ovarian cancer,
like, stage three.
We didn't know how bad it was gonna be.
She's been cancer free for four years.
Having gone through those things kind of back to back,
the fear of losing my mom was like...
I had just watched my stepdad go.
And so, I got like into a really very depressed,
couldn't get out of bed, not checking the mail,
- stopped working. - You cannot function.
I was not this Jonathan.
Like I mean, just not at all.
You experienced a loss
and that's the part that we have to, like...
love on, a little bit.
'Cause two years is not very much time,
especially when you're raising kids.
I've always felt like I've had to put
the grieving process on hold for a minute,
like, ok, I'll get back to this in a minute,
I gotta get the kids ready for this or that.
It's something even Alison and I talked about, like...
about like, I won't be able to just stop
and grieve, I can't put my life on hold.
Some of it will be a lifelong...
- Adjustment... - ... adjustment.
And it will be.
and I think...
I think as people, we want to put things in boxes.
And we wanna like wrap it up and have it be in a nice bow
and, unfortunately, with cancer and stuff, and losing people,
like there is no box and there is no bow.
Like there's no takeaway that's going to be like,
"Well, that's how you deal with that."
You know...
I know...
I know what it is to watch someone go through chemo,
I know what it is to love someone,
and see the fear in that person's eyes
because they've had a medical team tell them that
they can't beat this disease and that it will end their life.
When you look in someone's eyes and you know that they know...
that there's no way to beat this...
For me, I know in my life I have not been able to deal with the severity
of everything in one sitting, 'cause it would like incapacitate me.
- Right. - So, that's why I go to the gym,
that's why I go to yoga,
I just try to check in with myself in, like, little bits.
I have my time at the end of the night.
I put the kids to bed and then I'll sit
out on the back porch and just kind of...
for a while I would just let it out.
Kinda got away from it a little bit lately, but...
Oh.
Hug?
He's lost something extremely important to him.
And he did it, like, so gracefully.
'Cause watching my stepdad go in that way,
I was not as graceful myself.
I was really, really hard on myself.
And, I'm just so blown away by him.
- How good do you look, dude? - Wow.
Don't you look amaze?
I love it.
You look great. Get out of my face, you look gorgeous.
Love it.
Have you ever had a man in heels cut your hair?
I feel like that was a first.
- I would say it's a first, yeah. - Yeah.
- Have a good time? - Yeah.
Was it what you expected?
It was more than I expected.
Alright, let's go.
Hi!
- Hello, hello. - Ah, look at that hair!
- Look how good you look. - Oh, love it.
Oh, my God, your hair looks so nice.
Come on in.
Oh, my God, are you ready?
I can't wait.
Wow. Wow!
Holy schnikes!
That's amazing.
We painted some of the railings.
Dark, to give it a better architectural pop.
That fireplace!
So, notice there's some major differences in here.
These architectural features were here,
but we painted everything in nice, soft, grey.
I wanted to make these stand out, the fireplace and this over here.
I added four lights on to...
- Those lights are so cute. - Aren't they cool?
The kitchen.
Oh, my goodness. I knew you were gonna do a good job,
but, man, this is amazing.
Do you think your boys will like it?
- I think they're gonna be overwhelmed. - Are you ready see more?
- Yeah. - Yeah?
The master bedroom.
You wanted that big king bed.
Oh, boy!
Wow!
I put your TV in here
so this is where Daddy can come and chill and relax.
- Right. - And watch his shows.
Or the boys can watch shows in here with you.
- I love the pictures of the boys. - Yeah.
This is so cool. I'm gonna fall into this on a regular basis.
I love this.
- Masculine with some feminine touches. - Get in there.
Here we go Jonathan, now's our moment.
Oh!
Look at how easy she just falls right in there.
Come right in.
TV on the ceiling, you don't think it would be great?
So...
when we were packing up the old house...
- Ok. - You know I told you I wanted to make sure
I made a very special place...
for you to keep your memories.
Oh man.
And all the cards said...
you know, be nice to your brother.
- So what I did was... - Oh my goodness.
I had it made in her handwriting.
Oh... Oh, that's beautiful.
Oh, my goodness, that is amazing.
Thank you, so much. That's beautiful.
So, basically,
you wake up.
This is who we are, this gorgeous face, you can't even help it.
- You woke up like this. - You woke up like this.
This is the gorgeous cleanser if you want to wash your face in here.
This is the gorgeous cleanser for your shower.
I gave you three of these pomades
so that you can play with the boys' hair.
Experiment with them and see what you like.
I would just come in and get your hair a little bit wet.
Just with your fingers, it doesn't have to be crazy.
And then I would come in with just a little bit of mousse.
And like, literally, a very little bit goes a long way,
and if you don't put a little bit of this when your hair is wet,
I feel like it just like won't stop falling in your face all day.
And then just use your fingers.
And the sides go back.
- This back part goes forward. - Got you.
It's like so easy.
I feel like this is just you, but elevated.
- I like it. - Right?
It's simple and...
makes a pretty man prettier.
It does, right?
So, grab that.
- Oh, boy. - I know.
It's our moment, this is fun.
Even restrung the bass, look at you guys.
- I got something else. - Uh-oh.
Ha!
- You like this? - I like it.
I got the boys a little keyboard.
We got a little drum set, so,
I want to make sure your guests and I want the boys
to see that music is gonna be something that's a part of your life.
So, tonight I want you to play,
and it doesn't need to be anything great.
Elrod Family Band's first performance.
It's Elrod and Sons first performance tonight.
This is your new beginning.
Yeah, absolutely.
First thing's first.
A super organized closet.
- Yes. - I want to put you in couple of looks,
so let me show you what I got for you, first of all.
- Do you feel comfortable with stripes? - I definitely love stripes.
Okay, great. And then...
I got you a leather jacket.
I love a motor jacket. If you're just wearing a t-shirt,
a pair of jeans, throw this on and you're gonna seem a lot cooler.
Ready to try on?
Yeah, I'm so excited.
Huh, no, no, no, yep.
I'm just gonna do that little tuck that I was telling you about earlier.
Don't mind me.
Oh, you're missing a button.
- Oh, yup. - Do you wanna?
Looks like everybody wants to see the show today.
Wow, you look awesome.
Hi, come on out.
Oh!
- Oh I love that jacket. - Nice.
Yes, Daddy.
I'm taking him to The Eagle.
- Eye contact. - You look so good.
He's still cool Dad, he's not looking too young.
The jeans are simple,
there's nothing too out there about them.
So he can wear this wardrobe for years and years to come.
Do you feel very much elevated?
Like more than two levels.
Like, I went from first floor to penthouse.
- Yes. - That's kinda how I feel, so...
Alright you're gonna feel even more so in the next one.
- Ready to try it on? - Let's do it. Let's do it.
If you come back down here with your top off
we wouldn't be mad about it.
Just a bow tie.
Ooh.
And let's take a look. Okay.
Hey boys you ready?
Yeah!
Come on.
- Good Daddy. - Hey!
- Do a walk, do a walk. - I like it.
- Yes. - Casual, sophisticated.
I love the agressive cuffs.
Somebody order a DILF?
Look at that DILF.
You can go somewhere casual in this, or somewhere dressed up in this,
this could be great for a date, or for hanging out with the kids.
There's so many places you can wear this,
this isn't just a daytime look.
- Do you want to take a seat with us? - Sure.
Come join us.
Ok, so what do you think of this?
I love the look, I love being...
confident, I didn't really realize how
not confident I was, really.
I would just throw stuff on like I didn't care. Now I care.
And tonight when you are getting ready for your event,
put on a pair of jeans, you can put on a t-shirt,
it's your home, be comfortable,
I don't want you to feel stuffy.
You get to have your first meal with your boys tonight.
Take advantage of that little moment where they can sort of sink in
and kind of realize, "Oh this is our home now."
This is going to be... a clean slate.
You said that you and Alison
planned this moment three years ago, right?
Yeah.
The last step, what she wanted, was for me and the boys
to live a happy, fun, life.
And we can do that now.
Each one of you guys have brought...
... some joy and...
... made this week just unbelievable.
I feel absolutely amazing and I'm ready to move forward
and ah... just attack this life and have fun.
I thank you guys all so much, I thank you so much.
Alright guys, we love you.
You're doing one more hug, I want a full standing one.
Thank you guys.
Keep it simple tonight,
- Bye. - Bye.
Bye guys, thank you.
- Are these done? - Yeah.
Can I try one?
Can I make you a plate?
Fishsticks.
Oh my god, they smell so crispy.
Ok, this is a squash casserole
that's amazing.
You know it's good when he's shut his mouth for so long.
I know, when Jonathan's quiet, the food is good.
Ok, let's do it guys.
Thank you for this, Ant. That's yummers.
- Alright, boys, are we ready? - Let's watch Elrod and Sons.
- No. - No, Bru-bru.
No, Bru-bru.
Bruley.
Cute.
- Honestly, that haircut I did on him was gorgeous. - Yes, so good.
Alright, I am ready to bread these guys up.
- He's making Mohi sticks. - Nice.
Coming.
My gosh the kids are home!
Aw, there's Susan.
Oh look at him. Come on in.
Hey Rob, look at you.
Thank you, you guys are looking cute.
You're looking nice.
- Hi. - You do too.
- You look great, oh wow! - Thank you.
I would be remiss if I did not mention the
gorgeous, hot, pink, outfit.
Do you love it, Tanny? Is that Tanny approved?
It's a brave choice.
You wanna see the new house?
Look we got a new dining room here.
I feel like Susan raided my closet.
Where are all our old couches?
Ah, who cares?
Look at this, Elrod and Sons, for our family band.
Ooh I love that.
Yeah, the boys are gonna start playing music with me.
- What? - Look at all the memorable stuff by Alison.
Good place to keep it isn't it?
And you know...
... you know the kid's birthday cards?
She wrote this in every one of them.
And that's her handwriting.
Yeah.
I'm telling you.
- Boys. - What?
Here's a lot of the stuff we're gonna use
to keep Mommy's memories going.
I didn't know that.
Yeah I wanted to make sure it was as real and personal as possible.
How nice that all of it is in one spot?
It's not just like strewn about the entire house.
It's such a respectful way to pay homage to...
You know when he's able to move on and have a new girlfriend or a wife,
it's still in a special place for the kids and him
to visit when they need to.
Mmm.
This fish is really good.
Rob.
I love your new look.
Your hair, your outfit.
I think it's just gonna be a...
a new start on life for you.
And I know Alison would be so happy for you.
I think she would too.
She's kind of around watching this whole...
thing really.
- Yeah. - All week.
Aww.
- I choose this one. - You like this shirt?
- Yeah. - That is a cool shirt.
Ok, so. There's no rule as to how you should dress your kids, like,
let it be playful, just dress your kids, and now is the time
where you can say I've got this, I can do this,
they're my children and I can take care of them.
We're gonna just take...
Come here Davis.
Ooh, there we go.
I think he may have just put hand cream in his hair.
Did he really? That's amazing, if he did.
Alrighty.
I'm dancing.
No, no more, you don't need anymore.
Aah.
Okay.
I want black jeans tonight.
This is such an easy closet,
it's so simple, on the whole it's very neutral.
I like being this low to the ground.
Love that color on him.
Color is hard on boys like him and I.
Look how good he looks.
- Yeah he looks really sharp. - He just looks so much younger.
I know that's the most important
part of it is that he looks so many years younger.
I can't believe that's the same man in the picture
that I have over on my board.
Look at him fixing his 'stache.
Did you teach him that Jonny?
Yeah I did.
Open the door, open the door.
- Oh, my god look at that handsome guy. - Come on in.
Hey, Max. Oh look at you.
Hey Sawnsai.
Oh my god I could cry.
- You're gonna cry? - You look so good!
How you doing, man?
- Hi, Mom. - Oh, my god he's so handsome.
Aww.
You guys ready to take the tour of this place?
Oh my gosh, look at this.
It's really lovely to see him and the family
and friends just experience some joy together.
It's so lovely.
Isn't he just a handsome guy?
- He does he looks really... - Why thank you, thank you, thank you.
Aww, Momma approves.
- She likes his beard Jonny. - She does?
Yeah look she just touched it, she was really happy.
Love.
Just want to see, oh look, we'll bring both of these out.
I just have to see them on.
I mean how often do you dress in front of all of your friends.
Hey, boo.
Hey!
We love Tan for doing this.
To Tan.
Tan!
Oh, that's so sweet.
I'd like to thank everybody for showing up here.
And I want you guys to know you're all so much a part of this.
Everything you guys did through Alison's treatment
and helping me out afterwards
while I was kinda going through all the emotions.
You guys have really been there for me
and I want you guys to keep being around after.
And come back and
really enjoy this and we're gonna make new memories
and have a lot of fun.
So, guys, to the future.
And also to Alison.
Cheers, everybody.
Cheers.
Rob is kind-hearted.
He's vulnerable, he's full of love and happiness.
And he's ready for everyone else to see that man now again.
Alison came into my life for seven years.
She helped me create a family, we got married and just
made me a wonderful human being, like really kinda cleaned me up.
To a smaller extent I feel like the Fab Five
played the role of Alison for a week.
They really...
mean a lot to me.
They did so much.
There are no words to thank these guys.
Out of the darkness and into the light.
- Yes. - Aww.
Want to make your kitchen really pop?
Make sure you're using contrasting colors.
If you do a light counter top, do a dark cabinet.
I personally like doing light on the top
because it draws your eye upward,
and makes your space feel larger,
even if it's not.
- Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -