Disarmed.
- Oh my God! - Hello, Samantha.
Why are you awake? It's, like, 4:00 a. m.
For some reason, I just could not sleep.
Okay, well, I have to be up pretty early, so I'm gonna...
Right. Did you have fun with Alex?
- Yeah. - Nice.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Can we talk about it later?
Of course. Please.
Cool.
So, you see, I am not, in fact, intrusive and nosey.
What is happening right now?
Nothing is happening.
I just don't want to be overbearing,
and yet absent.
No, no, don't bother.
Your diary is right here.
That is not my diary, that is my fourth step.
- Your what? - It's part of the program, okay?
I-I write out my resentments
and then I let them go. Give it back to me.
"Selfish, bad behavior, bad listener.
- Mom. - This one. "I am resentful
of my mother for her beauty."
Really?
What am I supposed to do with that?
Nothing! You don't do anything with that.
"A self-involved narcissist
who tries to cover up her failures with gardening."
Really, what are my so-called failures, Samantha?
I am not having this conversation with you.
Taking that was a huge violation of my privacy.
- Your privacy. - Yes.
I am sure everyone
in all of your meetings knows exactly what's in here.
No, they don't. Only my sponsor does.
Olivia Elliot of NPR knows our dirty laundry.
That's wonder... Shouldn't this be for your eyes only?
Yes!
Now you know all of it, though. Are you happy?
- No, it's awful. - Hey, w-what's going on?
It's like 4:00 in the morning.
Oh, God, why are you wearing her robe?
Sorry, it's a medical condition.
I don't want to hear anything else.
It's like a night sweat thing.
I thought she knew about my sweat thing.
It's really... It's enough.
Brit.
Okay, let me start by saying
I am not coming to you because Samantha's otherwise occupied.
Okay, wow, I didn't think that before, but now I do.
I just really need someone to complain to.
Fun! Well, at least I'm not busy
- doing anything. - Okay, come on, Brit.
You got three minutes, right?
Zacky's dad wants to see me.
Whoa. Trent's in town?
I haven't seen him since that viral video of him
skateboarding into a dumpster full of teddy bears.
How is that guy?
He wants to hang out. Like, alone.
He wants to "talk."
I don't want to talk to him.
I don't have to do this, right?
I mean, he is the father of your child.
He was.
Before he went and ditched us to go live his dreams
jumping in dumpsters in L. A.
- Look, I think you got to go. - Ugh.
I feel like Sam would have said the same,
but I would have done the opposite, because... Sam.
- Samantha? - Oh!
Mindy?
So, uh, what are you doing here?
I'm housesitting Olivia's plants.
- They were dying from neglect. - Oh.
It's a dry run to get her to appoint me godmother.
Godmother? I thought you hated babies.
Yeah. The way they can't support
their own heads freaks me out.
What are you doing here?
I don't know, I just felt like I needed a walk,
and then my feet kind of took me here.
You want to talk about it?
Olivia's not coming back for a while, Sam.
- I know. - I mean, we can
Weekend at Bernie's this all you want,
but, spoiler alert, Bernie's dead,
and you need to find a new sponsor.
Fink, my office, please. Chop-chop.
- Hey. - The Sphinx.
- What? - New nickname.
Sam, Fink, "Sphinx."
- Sick. - It's good, right?
- Mm. What do you need? - So, listen, we got
the New York meeting coming up.
I really want to have some great ideas,
I need everyone focused.
I really want to impress Corporate.
I want to show them how we're gonna take
this dying print publication, rip it from its grave,
bring it to the future.
Yeah, okay, great.
Let me, uh, think of some stuff. I'll get back to you.
Here's what I'm thinking.
Stuff like Backpage,
but without the murders, okay?
Maybe we do a podcast, maybe a TikTok challenge.
- You're Gen Z, right? - Millennial.
Oh, you're useless to me. Why are we even...
Hey, Jeff? Jeff, come here for a sec.
What are you, generationally speaking?
I'm technically on the cusp.
"On the cusp." That's an annoying answer.
That's exactly the kind of Gen Z bullshit I want.
Fink, take a page out of the Jeff playbook, please.
Jeff, let's do a column
called "On the Cusp With Jeff."
Sam, you have a visitor. Or it might be a stalker.
- I can't tell. - Okay, thanks.
- Bob? - Sam, hey!
Sorry to barge in.
Boy, this is it, huh?
I mean, I really miss the hubbub of an office, you know?
- It's just like... - Yeah.
So fun. Listen, I don't have
a lot of time right now. Can I help you with something?
No, I-I'm just here
to see how the sausage gets made.
Okay, so I heard some of what you guys
- were talking about last night. - Mm-hmm.
And your mom, she's not feeling great about what happened.
- Bob. - Look, if you just sat down with her,
I think you might be able to get an apology.
Sorry, you think I'm gonna get an apology from the woman
who said, "Why did you put your finger there?"
when she slammed it in a car door?
Yeah, just sort of flickers.
- Yeah, that's nerve damage. - Yeah.
Ow.
All right, I can't guarantee anything,
but I know your mom,
and she loves you.
And why not give her a shot to see if she can
make it right, you know? What do you have to lose?
What if we do a collab with Yung Gravy?
- Who? - The rapper.
Yung Gravy? Oh, that sounds good.
You hear that, Fink? This guy's two for two.
- Oh, hey, man. - Hey.
- How are you? - I'm good!
- Love that shirt. - Oh, thank you, love yours.
- That's great. - That's a fun top.
: Yeah, see?
I love watching the sausage getting made.
Yeah, hang out, have fun. I'll see you later.
Oh, good, okay, thanks. I will, I will.
You're gonna love this hair oil.
Got it from my girl, she lives in Hawaii.
Okay, all right. Looks great.
Thank you.
'Lecia, look at you.
A goddess in her queendom.
My place of employment? Really?
The perfect place for us to have a deeply personal conversation.
I mean, I could take you around the corner
to get a lemon poppyseed muffin.
No. How did you remember that's my favorite?
Wait, what's your game? What are you doing here?
What, you like, need money?
Since when have I ever asked you for money?
So, what do you want?
Trying to get back in my pants again?
That's not why I'm here.
Look, I'm giving up
- the whole stuntman life.
You love doing backflips off motorcycles,
it's like your favorite thing in the world.
- Why are you really here? - I just said it.
I'm done, I'm out. I'm old.
- Dude, you're 28. - That's my point.
That's, like, 85 in stuntman years.
And this last stunt, I mean, it really took me out.
But me going through that wall,
it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Yeah, I ended up in this hospital
with this old dude who blasts Michael Bublé.
And at first, I was like, yo, this sucks,
fake-ass Sinatra.
But then, he put on this song called "Home."
You know what it got me thinking about?
- Let me guess... home? - Yes.
But I realized that when I think about home,
I think about Zacky.
Well, Zack and I have been at home
without you for a long time,
and, um... we're doing just fine.
I know, and I'm not trying to crowd you.
I'd just...
like the chance to be a part of it.
I'm moving back.
- You are? - Yeah, yeah.
I got an apartment in Everett and everything.
I just would love to see you all more.
Okay, that's... That's a lot to lay on me
right before I gotta fix a perm.
No needs to feel awkward about the silence.
Silence allows us to reflect,
to go within.
I also don't want to oversell the silence,
'cause this feels like it's a little long now.
- Yeah, I'll start. - Okay.
I would like to submit
that I skipped my lunch break for this,
and she still has not apologized.
Apologize for what? For what?
You have not explained what all of my so-called failures are.
Well, I shouldn't have to, should I?
'Cause those were my private thoughts.
That's not admissible.
Oh, this is not a court of law, I'm not really...
Did I fail when I bought a new car
at an exorbitant rate
because you totaled my beloved Volvo?
Did I fail when I forked over 40 grand for your rehab?
Did I fail when I let you off the hook
after you didn't come home when your father was sick?
- No, no, no. No.
Those things are not in your little book
of "reasons I'm mad."
Right, so I don't know if you know
what the term "off the hook" means,
'cause you're still talking about it.
My question has not been answered.
What did I do to deserve such vitriol?
Because I am not responsible for your alcoholism, Samantha.
Well, if you still see me
as that drunk from two years ago,
then there's nothing to discuss.
Well, that was a good start.
Okay, yeah, Zack loves his dad.
I mean, he's psyched when Trent rolls into town
and takes him to a movie where someone
gets their head chopped off, and feeds him 14 Creamsicles.
But what happens when he gets another Mountain Dew commercial
and leaves again?
What happens if he doesn't?
- Pete, we have sex. - Yeah.
So you're supposed to be on my side automatically.
No, no, no, I am. I am.
I just, um...
Is there a chance that this is good for you and Zacky?
Don't do that.
Don't act like you're all deep and shit,
and got all the answers.
You don't know him like I know him.
No, I-I don't.
And-and I don't want to be an asshole here,
but...
What if he's changed?
You and Trent were like, what, 19?
I mean, you were just kids.
Yep.
And I was the kid who got stuck with a kid,
and he was the kid who got to do whatever he wanted.
Hmm.
Look, if Trent wants to spend more time with Zacky,
I think that's great.
But I'll believe it when I see it.
I hope you get to see it.
Why don't you give him a shot?
Let him babysit, and you and I can go out
for a little night on the town.
Will there be steak?
- You want steak? - Yeah.
Then there'll be steak.
Sam, this stuff is great,
it's gonna be perfect for New York.
I do want to change a couple things, if you can...
Cool, yeah, I'll get to that later.
What the hell, are... you crying?
No. God, I'm just tired.
Sam, no, no. Sam, Sam, Sam.
Listen to me for one second.
As your mentor, I want to just let you know
that you cannot cry at work.
You basically cried to me last week.
It's a double standard, I'm aware of that.
But when a man cries at work,
it is essentially him, like, shedding his toxic masculinity,
and it's a show of emotional strength.
- And you know... - No, it's not.
Let's face it, we both know that women
just get hammered.
They're emotional, they're hysterical, and just...
Okay, I'm going for a walk.
Yeah, I know, Sam, it is funny how allergies
look like crying. Get some Claritin.
All right, guys, keep it up. Great job.
I'm heading to New York soon, so...
Hey.
Remember when I was 16 and my dad was sick,
and you said if I ever needed anything...
Yeah. Come on.
Carol? Is everything okay?
- Is Sam okay? Did she drink? - No, no.
It's much worse.
She wrote 50 pages of horrible things about me
because of your program.
And when I tried to discuss it with her, she left.
And then you called me.
What do you want me to do?
Talk some sense into her. Fix her.
Carol, the problem is you.
Excuse me? I love my daughter.
Oh, congratulations.
Look, Carol, I think you need to go to our sister program.
It's for family and friends of alcoholics.
Sam's been sober for a while now.
You are the one that needs help.
And Carol, put down the shears.
I can hear you stress-gardening.
I swear the couch is really, wildly comfortable.
Oh, yeah, I love this couch.
Oh, just, um... Yeah, you can...
- I can, uh... - Yeah.
- Yeah, my parents
decided to dump all my stuff here,
'cause I'm dead to them now.
Right.
Your mom's always so mad at you,
but this is a whole new energy for me.
Oh, yeah. Don't worry,
I'll teach you everything you need to know.
This is gonna be fun.
Yeah, like old times.
- Except without the puking.
- Ugh. - Mm-hmm.
You okay?
I mean...
not really.
But I will be, I'll be fine.
You can stay here as long as you want.
Thank you. I will.
Okay.
If you take out more skateboards, just, like,
- put them in the garage, all right? Got it, yep.
- Move, Dad. - Okay.
Here's the number for urgent care,
Poison Control, and the pediatrician.
There's Brit's number on there, too,
- in case of emergency. - Got it.
Okay, and no screen time after 9:00.
No screens.
You act like I've never babysat before.
Look, we're gonna watch three episodes of Naruto,
and then we're gonna hit the hay, okay?
Okay.
Just don't do anything
you and I would have done, huh?
I won't.
- All right, I'm gonna go. - All right.
- Zacky, I love you. Love you, too.
All right, how we doing, everybody?
I see a few stragglers. Not surprised.
Fink, of course, late.
So, listen, I have good news from Corporate.
They told me, "We are going to double
your operating budget. You killed it."
And I said, "No, I didn't kill it, my team did."
So, I want you guys to feel so good about yourselves.
Absolutely destroyed this assignment,
and I want you guys to just go nuts
and have a great time.
You guys earned this, you worked so hard...
- Nathaniel... - Yes, indeed.
Uh, all right.
I guess I got a raise. Already.
And trust me, everyone is gonna be getting
some really nice Christmas bonuses,
or Hannukah bonuses, whatever your thing.
Uh, all right. This is not a raise.
I actually just got served...
by my wife.
Um, listen, everybody,
my wife has been, um...
intercourse-ing with a New York Yankee.
But yeah, so she's been sleeping with a Yankee,
and, um, I may have to just stay in New York for a little bit.
But listen, all great news tonight.
I could be back tomorrow.
None of us know what tomorrow brings.
Jeff, I gave you a column, and maybe tomorrow it's gone,
'cause you got mauled by a... A squirrel,
and it had rabies, and you... you're dead.
Or maybe David's having an affair like my wife was,
and your wife decides she's gonna stab you
in the neck with a, with a pen, and you're dead.
Hey, maybe you should take a walk, you know?
- Just hang up and... - Thank you, Sam, yes.
I am gonna take a walk.
I'll talk to you guys soon. I'm hanging up.
Oh, my God!
Why, God?!
Oh, no, Karen!
Oh, God!
I'll... I'll leave the...
Goddammit...
'Cause we can do it, too. Okay.
Well, that was fun.
This'll be nice. One less dish to clean.
God forbid she should wash a plate.
I-I've seen her wash plates before.
Well, I have not, and I've been living with her
a lot longer than you have.
Go, eat. I'm not hungry.
Carol, I have to say something.
You're in the wrong.
Excuse me?
- You're in the wrong. - Mm, that's not possible.
You never should have read her journal.
And you should apologize.
I'm... I'm sorry. It's the truth.
No, wait. I'm not sorry.
I have to stop saying "sorry" for things I'm not sorry for.
Bob, dear? It's been a very long day.
Why don't you go restring your ukulele?
All right.
Karen, what's up, baby? It's-it's me, your Nate-Nate.
I'm in Poughkeepsie, New York,
on a Balance Brothers retreat.
Tell her how you feel, bro.
Yeah, listen. Baby, I'm getting, like,
into a real primeval mindset.
Open up. - I am, okay? Just...
I'm just... I want you to know that I know
that I got a lot of work to do,
and it's work that I want to do, okay?
Yeah, why should she believe you?
'Cause I've changed. I've changed, baby!
All right? I left Boston, I came back here.
I'm gonna hunker down with these warriors,
and I'm gonna make progress,
and it's gonna come from the heart, all right?
Let-let me be your only Yankee.
Let me be your Yankee, I'm gonna bat a thousand for you.
I know I hurt you. I want to make this right.
I'm gonna put rose petals on the bed.
I'm gonna make the swan towels like you like.
- All right, Nate. Wrap it up. - What's that? Okay, yeah.
So, I gotta go.
That was Coach Kevin, we're going kayaking,
so I'm gonna go do that.
And when I come back, I'm gonna be a changed man.
I love you. And also, real quick,
Nestor, you're dead!
I'm gonna kill you!