♪ ♪
-Titanium Rex: Anyone care for a top-off?
Extraordini, more eggnog?
-The Seven-Eyed Scepter demands a diet void of animal products.
Also, if the scepter knew I was celebrating
a Judeo-Christian holiday, it would just shit,
so let's not throw it in the scepter's face.
-Far out. Bogman?
-I'm made of trash.
I spent yesterday in a landfill eating Allman Brothers 8-tracks.
Fill her up.
-Rex, General Agrabah claims
you and he have fought in more battles together
than you and I.
-Don't ask me to do the math tonight, Zenith.
-Fine. We shall settle this by combat.
Gather your men and weapons of war.
This shall be glorious!
-(spits) Wait! What?
-(whispering indistinctly)
-Ah, even in the cold of winter does love bloom
for Dr. Devizo and Heartshine.
-I thought I would be enjoying the party with my wife.
-Then you shouldn't have spent the entire day in your workshop.
-I was working on something important.
-Oh, really? What?
-This.
I made one for myself, as well.
This way, we can always be together.
-Oh, Donald.
-I... need some fresh air.
-(wind howling)
-Everything okay?
-I don't wanna hurt him, but I wasn't built for marriage.
My heart shines for all people.
-Well, I hope it shines for me just a little more.
-I wish it didn't, but it does, Rex.
-Mm. -Mm.
-Titanium Rex: I need you, Heartshine.
-Debbie: You have me, Rex.
-(knock on door)
-Man: Devizo, come on. Team photo. Let's go.
-I'll be right there.
-Everyone, gather around.
Closer. Closer.
-(growls)
-And...
-(camera shutter clicks)
-It must have been very painful to find out
your wife was in love with your best friend.
-It was.
-How did you deal with it?
-Poorly, Optimal Rex.
Very, very poorly.
If you'll excuse me,
Sergeant Agony says Debbie is on her way.
I have to prepare myself...
to die.
-(theme music playing)
-(grunting)
-(groans)
-American Ranger: That monster we fought on the island
was Dr. Devizo's ex-wife?
-And my former lover.
-Before, after, or during their marriage?
-Eh, the usual.
-God damn it, Rex.
-Okay. I had an affair with Dr. Devizo's wife.
-And mine. -And my mom!
-All right. Yes.
But that doesn't explain how Debbie ended up
on a prison island for supervillains.
-Maybe she took a helicopter like we did.
I don't know.
-When did you see her last?
-She retired to a commune
right before Devizo betrayed the League,
or so I thought.
-She was soft when she arrived.
I was sure she would die.
Like the others, I was a supervillain
deemed too dangerous for my country of origin.
Every morning, the helicopters came to drop food.
The strong ate first.
It was a week before she knew she must fight or die,
so she fought, the weakest at first, then the stronger.
-Debbie? My Debbie?
-She is not your Debbie anymore.
When she had beaten all of us, only Stonemount remained.
He was the strongest of us.
He ate first. He woke last.
-(both grunting)
-Flame Scar: She ended him...
and was reborn.
-(screeching)
-She became First Eater, the Last Waker,
she who is not hunted.
-I have got to stop her before she hurts someone.
-No. She isn't your problem, Dad.
For all we know, she just wants to be left alone.
-She was a member of the League.
-Ugh. We've all seen how you treat
former members of the League.
Why can't you just ignore this one, too?
-What has gotten into--
-Sergeant Agony: Listen up!
The helicopter Ms. Deborah Devizo stole
went down 50 miles outside Storm City!
The pilot, Warrant Officer Nathan Mensler,
wanted everyone to know he's okay.
-Oh, like that's important information.
-He thinks she's headed for Storm City.
I've arranged transport for you and the team.
-I can fly there faster on my own.
-Dad, please don't.
-Why are you so worried about this?
-I... I can't say.
-Well, I'm sorry. I've got to do this.
-Come on! Damn it.
-I forgot my charger. Aw, screw it.
(gasps) -You!
(grunts)
What did you do, Devizo?
-I screwed up, okay?
Ugh! I screwed up bad.
When I found out about you and Deborah,
I wanted to kill you both.
I'd heard of an island in South America.
I faked her Dear John letter and fooled her
into going to the island with me,
where I told her she would spend the rest of her days.
-You're sick.
-I wasn't in my right mind. It was the '70s.
We thought cocaine was vitamins, for God's sake.
-You left her to die.
-No. The next day, I cooled down and rushed back to save her.
I searched for weeks.
Devastated, I had to give up.
-(grunting)
I should kill you.
-Debbie: I wouldn't bother.
He's already dead.
-Debbie. Debbie, I--
-Lance of light.
-Glove: Lance of light.
-Wait. It's me.
-I know who you are,
but you have no idea who I've become.
-I can help you, but you have to tell me what you want.
-You'll know what I want when I take it, tomorrow at dawn.
Okay. I'll just tell you. It's Dr. Devizo's head.
That's what I want. -Come on!
-I can't let you do that.
-You think yourself blameless?
Devizo put me on that island, but you left me there.
-I-I thought you didn't wanna see me.
-You believed what you wanted to believe.
You will leave Devizo to die or fall yourself.
-Would it be really weird if I threw out
that I know a kick-ass therapist we could all--
-Every night, I went to sleep knowing in the morning
someone would try to kill me.
Know that in the morning I come to kill you.
Know that in the morning you die.
Feet of feather. -Wait! No!
-Glove: Feet of feather.
-Whoo! Boy, oh, boy.
How are we going to get out of this one?
Rex? Rex, what's the plan?
-I... I loved her, Devizo.
I can't forgive this. You're on your own.
-I loved her first, you asshole!
I loved her first.
-Hey, Groaner. It's me. It's, uh, 2:00 a.m.
Uh, maybe you're asleep.
Uh, I don't know if you've heard,
but I've been riding around in a helicopter all week,
some time in a boat.
Life is pretty full and interesting
for me at the moment.
Doing just fine without you.
Pick up your goddamn phone every once in a while!
-Did you miss me, Liplor?
-I did indeed. Did you bring me anything?
-Think there's some sand in my pockets.
-I'll take it.
-Do you find it worrisome
that Rex just flew off without consulting us?
-I'm more concerned with how worrisome Lex finds it.
-Devizo: You fear what you'll become, don't you?
-In this future, I'm an evil insect overlord.
Of course I'm afraid.
-It's in your power to prevent it,
but you have to trust me.
Back in your world, the past,
my ex-wife returns to murder me.
I know this will leave you gobsmacked, but I kind of deserve it.
Rex, your father, will die protecting me,
if you do as I say.
-If I do as you say?
-Yes.
You save him by unleashing
the full power of your insect side.
From that point forward,
any hope of controlling yourself is lost.
Rex lives, but this future is born.
I beg you, Lex, when you hear the name Debbie Devizo,
fly away and don't look back.
-How do I know this isn't one of your plans?
-That's the tragedy of our relationship.
You don't.
-Rex, did you find Debbie?
-Yes. She wanted a word with Devizo.
-I bet. Did they get everything worked out?
-Sure. Debbie's coming back in the morning to murder him.
Turns out, he was the one that put her on that island.
Anyway, it's been a late one. Let's all get some sleep.
-Wait. You're not just going to let her kill Dr. Devizo, are you?
-Yeah, I am. You heard me say that he was the one
that stranded her on that island, right?
-Yeah, we got that.
-Okay, so, then, what are we talking about?
-I know Dr. Devizo is no pal of ours, but--
-Ranger, shut up.
Rex is the leader of this team,
and if he wants to sit this one out, we sit it out!
-Rex, help, please.
-She's right, Ranger.
Everyone, get some sleep.
-You all know why we're here.
In less than four hours, Debbie Devizo is coming
to murder your boss.
-Are we gonna let that happen? -All: No!
-We'll put Dr. Devizo here,
inside a secret bunker in the Mojave Desert.
There's only on way in,
and the door has one hell of a lock, us.
All: Yeah!
-How'd you piss her off?
You keep the convertible in the divorce?
-Bitches be crazy, right?
-He left her to die on a deserted island
infested with murderous supervillains.
-Thank you, Sergeant Agony.
-Whoa. That's... yoah.
-That is pretty messed up, man.
-The way we were all cheering, I-I feel sick to my stomach.
-Am I contributing to behavior like this
when I say, "Bitches be crazy"?
-Dude, I-I think you might be.
-This might be a good time to bring up
how we don't have one female member.
-Wow. You're... You're right.
I don't know what that says about us, but it can't be good.
-(murmuring)
-Look, none of us are happy
about defending an abusive husband.
-Abusive? I was just-- -Why don't you save it?
-Whether we like it or not,
let's keep this dangerous sociopath safe!
Whoo!
-All (flatly): Yay.
-And away from your sisters if you've got 'em.
-(gasping)
-We thought Hysterio's mind leeches
had turned you evil forever, Rex.
-But Heartshine never gave up on you.
-What's that you always say?
"One my stumble. One may fall."
-The League will catch you...
-All: One for all. One for all.
-Aah! (gasps)
(panting)
(sighs)
-I thought you didn't care about Dr. Devizo, Rex.
-I'm not doing this for him.
There's still humanity in Debbie.
I can't let her throw that away.
-Ugh!
-Lex, I need your help on this.
-I won't ask you for anything else ever,
but please let this go.
-I don't understand.
-You don't have to.
Just know that if you don't,
I won't be your daughter anymore.
-I don't know if you're jealous or mad at me or what,
but I don't have time for this.
If you don't support me, sit this one out.
-(sobs)
-It's almost dawn, everyone.
We don't know when Deborah will hit,
but she's gonna hit hard.
-Titanium Rex: What's the plan?
-Rex, you came.
-Save it, you madman.
-Madman? I'm-- -Shut the (bleep) up, Ted Bundy!
We need all the help we can get!
This corridor stretches a full mile
into the heart of the mountain,
leading to an impenetrable cell.
Every section of the corridor
has state-of-the-art defensive capabilities,
gas, lasers, EMPs, you name it.
Broken up by a series of safe rooms
where we will team up and lie in wait.
-Oh, so we throw ourselves at her like cannon fodder
and hope she uses up all her powers.
-I call Groaner!
-Fa...
-You heard him, team. Let's do this.
-Titanium Lex: Maybe you just don't want me to save Rex.
How do I know this isn't one of your plans?
-Devizo: That's the tragedy of our relationship.
You don't.
-She really shouldn't be up there.
-Aah! -Ow!
-Hey, beat it! That's a cultural treasure!
-Okay. I'm going.
-You got anything?
-Not a goddamn thing.
-You know, this is bullshit!
We're superheroes, man.
Why are we back here with the norms?
-What are your powers again?
-(stammers) Shut up, you... you dick.
-Quiet. I've got something.
-This is it.
Go, go, go, go!
-(yelling)
(yelling)
-Hanzer Comet.
-Glove: Hanzer Comet.
-(yelling)
-(warbled screaming)
-Oh!
-Okay. This is it.
Who wants to go first?
I've always hated all of you. I want you to know that.
-(grunts)
-Robobot: You can't hit what isn't there.
-Quad Eyes.
-Glove: Quad Eyes.
-Oh, shit.
-(metallic thud)
-Welp, you're on your own, guys.
-All: Ha!
-Brain-jack.
-Glove: Brain-jack.
-All: Knock-knock. I'm here.
-(grunting)
-Skeleton key.
-Glove: Skeleton key.
-Energetic eel.
-Glove: Energetic eel.
-Open fire.
-(screaming)
(screaming continuing)
-Hey, anyone thinking maybe we just pee on ourselves
and see if that calms her down?
-Wraith of wind.
-Glove: Wraith of wind.
-(screaming)
-Cooch!
-Sinew of stone.
-Glove: Sinew of stone.
-(grunting)
-Stop, please!
(screaming)
-So, how's the girlfriend? She cheat on you yet? (chuckles)
Ooh, what are you doing? Oh, I wanna help.
-(thuds)
-What the (bleep) is all this?
-This is whatever you want it to be.
Is it a flower, a bee, or maybe you'd like a kiss of nerve gas.
Uh, you're immune to nerve gas?
-(high-pitched voice): No, not at all.
-This is helium.
Gary, you (bleep) me for the last time!
-This is it then. Pick your power.
-Think I'm good.
(grunts)
-(gas hisses)
-Quantum dome. -Glove: Quantum dome.
-Buster Nut, it's been an honor.
-It has? -Just get behind me.
You've grown on me, you little bastard.
-Merciless window.
-Glove: Merciless window.
-(grunts) -(screams)
-Witchcraft.
-Quantum-stabilized wormholes.
-I don't care what you call it. It's creepy as hell.
-Buster Nut: Ow! Ow! Ow! -Yah!
-Ow! Ow! Ow!
-(grunting) -Ow! Ow! Ow!
(groaning)
-Having fun? Because I can keep this up all day.
Ow!
(grunting)
(groaning)
(screaming)
(grunts)
-Donald!
-She's here. -(door opens)
-(groaning)
If anyone is out there, the League of Freedom is down!
Repeat, down! We need help!
Oh, shit!
-Agony (over radio): Lex, can you hear me?
Please, Rex is in trouble.
-(sobbing) -Lex, can you hear me?
-You've made your choice then.
-What you did on that island you did to survive,
but this is just cold-blooded murder.
-I don't know if I mentioned this before,
but I also apologized, if that helps.
-Slithering thought.
-Glove: Slithering thought.
-(groans)
-Winter spear.
-Glove: Winter spear.
-(grunts)
-Weighted void.
-Glove: Weighted void.
-(yells)
-Aah!
-Data scar. -Glove: Data scar.
-What are you doing?
-(crackles)
-Aah! -No!
-Debbie, please. -(Titanium Rex grunting)
-(Debbie groans)
-(grunts)
-(groans)
-Plasma gaze. -Glove: Plasma gaze.
-(grunting)
(groans)
-All you have to do is move.
-I'm...
I'm sorry for what happened to you, Debbie.
If I have to die to prove that, so be it.
(grunting)
(screaming)
-(Titanium Lex yelling)
(grunts)
-(groans)
-(gasps) Dad!
-Lex? (groans)
-Mortal triage.
-Glove: Mortal triage. -(beeping)
-God mode.
-Glove: God mode.
-(grunts)
-(warbling)
-Oh!
-Dear God.
-(grunts)
-(grunting)
-(gasps)
-(grunting)
-(screeches)
-Lex, no.
-(grunting)
-(groans)
-Light of-- Ugh!
-Glove: Command not recognized.
-(screaming)
-(screeches)
-Donald, do something.
-(screeching)
-Devizo: Lex, look at me.
It's over.
Put her down, dear.
-(groans)
-(screeches)
-(panting)
-(sighs)
I wasn't supposed to do that.
-What?
-In the future, you told me if I did that,
I could never go back.
Were you telling the truth?
-Oh, honey, I-I don't know.
It's... It's me. Uh...
I don't know.
-(monitor beeping)
-Lex?
-Sorry to disappoint but no.
-Devizo, what are you doing?
-You know, thanking you for saving my life.
I'm upsetting you. I-I'll leave.
-No, don't. It's...
It's better if someone's here.
What happened to Debbie?
-She's being held in a cushy federal prison.
I saw to that.
It was the least I could do.
Now rest, old friend.
Your worries will be here when you wake.
-(seagulls chirping)
-(grunts)
(screaming)
-(theme music playing)
-(monkey chattering)
-Man: Stoopid Monkey.