-[sirens wailing]
-We got a jumper!
-[dramatic music plays]
-Get a net out here now!
-Rex: That won't be necessary, officer.
The League of Freedom is here.
What do we got?
-His wife called it in.
Served him with divorce papers today.
-Another human female has reached enlightenment.
Where is your heroic wife?
I would celebrate with her over vessels of wine.
-Okay, let's just turn that off.
-You sure the League is cut out for this kind of work, Rex?
-Well, this might not be within my purview,
but the League of Freedom is a big team.
-You can do it. You got this.
-Fantastic.
Aah! Bog-Man, you smell like shit!
What are you doing here again?
-I will give this man what he craves.
Understanding.
-The hell? Smells like pickled shit!
-He can smell you! -[retches]
My eyes are watering!
Extraordinaut, please.
-[warbling]
Oh! Great!
Heartshine?
-Don't come any closer!
Who are you?
-No. Who are you?
You are Roger Fogerty.
You are 41 years old.
And you are loved.
-No, I'm not.
My wife doesn't want me.
My parents are dead.
Who loves me?
-I do.
-Who are you?
-I'm Heartshine.
-We'll get him the help he needs. Thanks.
-You did it, Heartshine!
-Oh, yippee. Another fool who can't cope with life
gets to live a few more pathetic decades.
-Donald, I-- -Stop it.
I'd rather return to my workshop
and put myself to practical use.
-Devizo's been awfully cranky lately. What's up?
-I... I don't know.
-What's the Seven-Eyed Staff saying?
-It's saying Heartshine... is lying.
-[theme music plays]
-[eerie music plays]
-Aah! Let me out!
-Oh, Lex, you know I cannot do that.
-I'm sorry I'm late.
I had a hard time losing Rex. How is she?
-We don't have much time.
If we don't cure here soon, she'll be lost for good.
-[glass breaking] -Oh, shit!
-[dramatic note plays]
-What the fuck?
-Rex, I can expl--
-[yells] -[grunts]
-Let me out, Rex!
-[dramatic music plays]
-Dad?
I didn't want you to see me like this.
-She wouldn't let us help if we told you.
-I think this is where you apologize
for T-boning me on my desk, because you'd--
-I'm... sorry.
-Shit. Didn't expect you to say that.
Let's get you caught up.
Lex is losing control of her insect side,
the half she got from her mother, Frau Mantis.
-She begged us to lock her away from society until we found a cure.
-And hide her from me.
-She thought she'd caused you enough pain.
-Where do we stand now?
-Dr. Devizo: Look familiar?
-The serum from the island Debbie was imprisoned on.
She used it to neutralize my powers.
-If we can get more of it and modify it
to suppress Lex's insect DNA, we could have a cure.
-Then we go back to the island.
-There's something I've got to tell you about the island.
I guess you could call it a confession.
-Absolutely what you'd call it!
-After Lex defeated Debbie,
I kind of put her back on the island.
-You what? -[whirring]
-I want to remind you that I'm still very much
jacked up from your last tantrum.
-You'll be getting diminishing returns-- Ah!
-You stranded her on that island for decades,
turned her into a killing machine,
and then you put her back?
I loved her! You loved her!
-She's the most dangerous woman on Earth.
Where else could I put her?
-We can't get the power retardant without you, Rex.
-[soft music plays]
-Lex, I won't come back until I've found a way to fix this.
-[dramatic music plays]
-Announcer: Hey kids, buckle up or don't!
The Cooch and Liplor Show is back! -[growling]
-[tires screech]
-[whimsical music plays]
-What's up, y'all?
We sure did learn a lot today.
Mr. Cacky stopped by and taught the squids the true meaning of pasta.
-I sang a song about it, which was not easy.
A lot of moving parts there.
-And we learned how to stand up to bullies
from our special guest, Meta Zenith!
-Ha-ha! In every bully,
there is a traumatized child yearning for help.
Learn that child's weakness and attack with no mercy!
-[children cheering]
-Aah! -What do you say, Mr. Leprechaun?
-Goodbye for now, and never stop lookin' for me gold!
-Until next time!
-[cheers and applause]
-[explosion]
-That was fun!
-Can I get out of this monocle?
Where's my monocle guy?
-Zenith, great job out there.
I'm surprised a warrior like yourself could make time
for a children's television show.
-I am Meta Zenith now-- half Zenith,
half nationally famous talk show host Portia Jones.
Both dies must be free to express themselves,
Portia by getting back on television,
and I by negotiating our deal.
-Next time you want scale plus 10,
please just go through our lawyers.
Me and my rotator cuff would rather not arm-wrestle you for it.
-A common custom in the Godsrealm!
-And the eye-gouging?
-My own flourish.
-What adventures are the League embarking on now?
-Actually, Rex is away on family business.
He's given us all a little R&R,
which apparently means we're part of something called an "entourage".
-Like the television show with Vinnie Chase and E?
-Yep. -Ugh!
-Yep.
-Come on, clear out. -[giggling]
-This isn't a day care.
We've got three more of these to shoot today.
-Saturn? -Groaner?
Great to see you. What's up?
-What's up? You said there might be a spot for me on Cooch's show.
-Oh, right. Mm, let's retire to the ol' casting couch.
I mean, the couch in my casting-couch-room office.
-[dramatic music plays]
-Now, you know I just can't give you the part.
You'll just have to beat out a few other contenders.
-Such as?
-I'm here for the audition.
Oh. Groaner?
-Patty Mine?
-Oh, no! Aah!
I forgot you two were dating.
I hope this doesn't cause undue stress on your relationship.
-Son of a bitch.
-[thunder crashing]
-Jesus, what were you flying? Mach 5?
Thanks for the goggles, by the way.
I'd eat Bog-Man ass for some Visine.
-I want to get in and out before Debbie knows we're here.
-[thunder crashes]
-And there's one hell of a storm moving in.
-[dramatic music plays]
-[thunder crashes]
-The serum's in the northeast compound.
-Shouldn't we be looking for shelter?
This storm is looking more like a hurricane.
-I'm not gonna call off the search for Lex's antidote
because you forgot an umbrella.
Now buckle-- -[grunts]
-Rex? Rex? Aah!
-[suspense music plays]
-Aah!
-Run, you idiot!
-[grunts] -Aah!
-[gasps]
-[bolo whipping]
-[grunts]
-Aah!
Please! Please don't kill me.
-No.
-[lightning crashes]
-Let the storm kill you.
-Aah!
-Robobot? What are you working on?
-Nothing. Just cleaning up the shop.
-Don't lie to me, please.
-If Devizo can't make an antidote,
we have to have-- I'm sorry.
-Hey, don't be.
-It's a machine designed to kill you.
You know, a Plan B.
-[ominous music plays]
-There. One for me and one for you.
Now I call tell everyone we had a coffee date!
-[laughs] Right?
-A "coffee date"?
-Well, I was wondering, since Portia and I had a thing
and Zenith and I almost fornicated to save the world,
maybe there's something here worth exploring.
-The part of me that is Portia yearns for you.
-"Yearns." I like that.
-And the part of me who is Zenith
recoils at the idea of your snake-blade piercing my flesh.
-Slightly less encouraging.
-To achieve balance, there must be a... negotiation.
-Then let the negotiation begin!
-All right, let's see what you got.
-[lighter clicks]
-Ooh! You're still doing the brush fire thing.
-Oh, well, it was just the first thing out of the bag.
-Next! Patty, what do you got?
Okay.
I don't know what you think you're doing, but this is a kid's show.
Groaner, can you beat that?
-If I couldn't, we had a real pickle on our hands.
-[laughs] Well, Patty.
The Groaner sure did go out of his way
to upstage you and make you look bad.
Are you gonna take that?
-Oh, I don't know. I...
-Okay, stop.
We see what's going on here.
You're trying to use a spot on some stupid kid's show
to tear us apart.
Well, it's not going to work.
-Fine! This audition is over!
-W-Wait!
It'd be a shame not to share the art of mime with the world.
-And your agents aren't exactly blowing your phone up.
-Yeah, gonna let that one slide.
-We'll audition for you, but nothing is gonna get in the way of this.
-[laughs] We'll see.
-We'll see.
-[thunder crashes]
-Don't kill me! I...
-[thunder crashes]
-[sighs] Rex, Rex, wake up!
-Huh? -We're alive.
-[sneezes]
What the hell was that?
-You must have caught a cold. First one?
-Must be this power retardant messing with my Subtopian immune system.
-Rex, look!
-Why didn't you leave us to die?
-I don't know.
Pray to your god I figure it out.
-Devizo...
-[dramatic music plays]
-The serum.
-[grunts]
-[coughs] What did you do to me?
-Revealed your true selves.
A sick old man and a tinkerer without his gadgets.
-What we are at our weakest. that is truth.
Behind me are the spoils of the island--
food, weapons, paralysis discs used to harvest the villains that died here.
-I stand before you at my weakest,
no powers, weather-torn.
All you have to do is take it from me.
-[sneezes]
-Aah, you son of a bitch! Cover your mouth!
-I've never had a cold before.
-[singing] Snips, snails, puppy-dog tails.
Little boys are made of these.
But all these things are lame as hell
when you've got a dune buggy!
-You hear that, kids?
-It's time to learn about dune buggies!
-[children cheering]
-Now, dune buggies come with these stupid things
called "roll bars," which don't help you roll at all!
-What exactly are the children learning here?
-Let's give this motherfucker a haircut.
-You know, how you give a dune buggy a...haircut.
-Let's fire this thing up!
-[engine revs] -[tires screeching]
-[crashes]
-We've established that Portia would be open to dating me.
-She has a thing for incompetent men.
-Got that. Wrote it down.
Let's not repeat that again.
-But that part of me that is Zenith
recoils at the touch of a man.
-"Zenith requires a feminine touch."
-Of her own. She prefers her own.
-So if our theoretical relationship were to move to the lovemaking phase,
I would promise to don a womanly wig
and sing the songs of the Valkyrie to make Zenith happy
and would grow a chin strap, frost my tips,
and wear a beanie to get Portia's motor running.
Do we have a deal?
-I'm sorry, I desire a warrior true.
-"Warrior true"?
Try this on for size--
The Battle of the Bulge, our troops had no fuel, no ammo,
but I had my bayonet and a gut full of fire.
I charged with a devil's yell,
dodging Panzer shells and German insults--
a disgusting, guttural language, by the way.
By the time the day was through,
200 Germans had fallen by my blade.
-Anything else?
-I also spent that night siphoning fuel out of those Panzer tanks--
just me, a length of hose, and a side effect of my government augmentation--
lips and a tongue that are completely impervious to fatigue.
-We may just have a deal.
-Yeah, it's hard making a living as a prop comic.
I even answered an ad for a job at Chippendales,
but then I saw the application.
Thank you. Patty?
-[warbling]
-[laughing] Holy shit! How did you do that?
-What? -Climb those imaginary stairs!
-Oh, I have the gift of mimekinesis.
I can project hard-light holograms of things I mime.
-Since when? -Since always.
Did you think my superpower was painting my face and going to mime school?
-I guess I just-- -Never asked?
-This is amazing! Patty, you've got the job!
-Maybe The Groaner could be my assistant.
-Sorry. Only one slot.
Again, is this causes strain on your relationship,
my humblest apologies.
-[thunder crashes]
-Debbie, please.
If we don't get that power retardant,
I could lose my daughter forever.
-Your daughter?
The only one to ever best me in combat
and the reason I'm back on this island?
-He put you back on this island.
He's the enemy. -Excuse me?
-Your evil turned Debbie into that.
You're the reason we're here.
-Have you both forgotten?
I loved you, Debbie,
and you betrayed me by giving your heart to Rex.
You made me.
-Will you cut that shit out?
You were always a conniving little bastard.
-[knife slams]
-You're both wrong.
-[thunder crashes]
-Before this, before the island,
when I was Heartshine,
the Stone of Amour gave me the power to spread love,
unlocking tender feelings in those who needed it.
I saw in Dr. Devizo a man with great need for that love.
But as I use the stone more and more,
I noticed a change in Devizo.
He became bitter, jealous.
The man I loved disappeared before my eyes.
I retreated into the arms of another, and soon after,
I learned the Stone of Amour's terrible secret.
To spread love to one person,
I had to sap it from someone else.
Every time I used it's powers,
I was stealing love from Devizo.
I made you what you are, Donald,
not by sleeping with Rex, but by loving you.
It was monstrous, you stranding me on this island.
But you were a monster I created.
-[stone warbling]
-Aah!
Heartshine died that day,
and Debbie Devizo was born.
-No. That's not-- that can't be true.
-Lies are weapons for the weak, not for me.
-[coughing] Oh, God damn it.
-[grunts] Aah!
-Don't try that again.
-Yeah. Okay, sure. I'm cool.
-The quesadillas are almost done.
Can't you make yourself hotter, Liplor?
-You know, I'd really like to talk about script approval.
-When we come back,
a special guest will entertain you-- or some shit.
-[cheers and applause] -So... good luck.
-Do you really mean that?
-Well, what is that supposed to mean?
-Nothing.
-Well, uh, look, if you're feeling emotional,
I could go out there instead.
-Oh, to help me? Come on!
-[laughing] Oh, man! This is great.
-Hey, seriously. What's wrong?
-You didn't even know what my powers were.
-No coming back from that.
-No. No, I didn't.
I didn't need to.
-What? -What!
-I guess I didn't care what your powers were.
-You were smart, funny, mimed like a son of a bitch,
and you felt like someone that would understand me,
someone that could see me for who I am.
Why would I even be thinking about powers when... -[sobbing]
-When I already knew you were special?
-[Black Saturn sobbing]
-The hell is that?
There's a rhino fucking a platypus?
-I-I think you guys should go out there together.
The kids need to see this.
-[heroic music plays]
-Thank you.
Hello, kids!
I'm the Groaner, and if you'll excuse me,
I refuse to start a show without some fan-fare!
-[coins clinks]
-That was the fare, f-for the fan.
-[child coughs]
-You call that a fan?
-[powers humming] -[switch clicks]
-[wind howling]
-[laughing] -[applause]
-H-H-Hey, kids! Over here!
I've got some gags you can actually see!
-You're stepping on my bit.
-Television is a visual medium.
-[balloons squeaking] -A-rubbie-dubbie, tie the knot, and voila!
-[cheers and applause]
-Who wants to not see a real dinosaur?
-[cheers and applause]
-Uh, do you think that's a good idea?
-[power humming]
-[rumbling] -[T-Rex growling]
-[dramatic music plays]
-Aah! Mimes aren't so lame
when they're riding a Tyrannosaurus rex, are they?
-[heroic music plays] -[T-Rex roars]
-Holy shit!
-[screaming]
-Patty, l-let's take it down a notch, honey!
-It's gonna charge!
-[crashes] -Groaner: Holy shit!
-[dramatic note plays]
-All right! That's our show!
-I was just getting somewhere!
-Perhaps you were. Now we will never know.
-God damn it!
-How'd we do?
-You did over $100,000 in damage to the set.
You will never work for this network or any network again!
-This was you plan all along, wasn't it?
Ruin our careers and laugh at our pain,
just to make yourself feel better!
-No, I-I didn't. Honestly, I--
-Never talk to me again, ever! I hate you!
-[thunder crashes] -[eerie music plays]
-[muttering] No. No, no.
-This can't be right.
-What is the problem?
You just found out your turn to villainy wasn't your fault.
-That was my whole identity, man.
I'm an evil asshole! That's my thing!
-None of us have free will.
We are born into a storm, and the tempest shapes us.
-I shape things! I design evil plans.
-Your darkness is the absence of light
the Stone of Amour stole from you.
-That's supposed to make me feel better?
That your love was just a ploy
to siphon off whatever goodness you needed for others?
I am the puppet master! I am not a puppet!
-Donald, stop. It was real.
Before you were twisted, you loved me, and I loved--
-[electricity crackling] -[screaming]
-What the hell was that? We were having a moment.
-And I was focused on our mission--
getting this power retardant back to Lex.
Well, we can't leaver her here like this.
She's coming with us.
-Fine. I'm just glad things are finally going our way.
-[dramatic music plays]
-Be ready to move on my mark.
-You sure about this, Agony?
-Damn sure. Robobot doesn't know
we put a tracking device in him when he joined the League.
I cross-referenced his locations
with the component shipments I've been tracking,
and Robobot's been spending a lot of time in Dr. Devizo's lab.
We're about to find out what they've been hiding
since they got back from the future.
-[alarm blares] -Oh, no.
-[electricity crackles]
-Lex, we've got to go.
-[door crashes]
-[sparks hissing]
-Just what the hell has been going on in here?
-What do we do now?
-We run.
-[dramatic music playing]
-[chitters]
-[theme music plays]
-[monkey chatters] -Man: Stupid monkey.
-[paper tearing] -[monkey cry]
-[slap]