-[eerie music]
-[man laughing]
I had a great time.
-Me, too. Call me?
-I'm already dialing.
-[both laugh]
-Okay, it wasn't that funny, we should probably-- -Yeah.
-[dog yelping]
-Courtney: Help! My puppy!
It got hit by a car!
Also, there-there's a baby, with a torn ACL.
-Oh, my God!
-Courtney: Like a moth to the flame. -[air whooshes]
-[gasps]
-You've fallen prey to my dark seduction.
-Oh, my God!
You look like shit. -Hey!
-Do you need help? -No! You need help!
I'm a sexy vampire.
-What're you doing?
-Mesmerizing you.
-I don't think you are.
Look, I'm tired and you smell like dead cheese.
I'm going home.
[gasps] -You leave me no choice.
[grunts] -Ah!
-Ahh!
-[dramatic music]
-I'm sorry.
I don't want to bite you if you're not into it.
I'm just really hun-- ahh!
-[woman panting] -Ahh! You maced me!
For the record, I let you go,
you did not escape!
-[stomach grumbling]
-[hammering]
-Pathetic.
A vampire I, myself, created,
has yet to feast.
-Lemans, listen, man.
It was a real Buffy situation.
-Silence! -Ahh!
-You disgrace my line.
Feasting on rats?!
-I do not feast on rats!
They're too cute.
-SMH, dude, SMH hard.
Finish this coffin by dawn,
and perhaps I won't leave you to cook in the morning sun!
[screeches]
-Guess I'm the only goddamn vampire
that took shop class.
-Black Saturn: Help! -Huh?
-Black Saturn: [groaning] Help!
-Saturn?
Black Saturn!
-Help... me... -What happened?!
-The League...
captured...
all of them.
-You can hide here. -No! I'm going to break them out.
And you're going to help me.
-[theme song playing]
-♪♪♪ -[vital signs monitor beeping]
-Heart rate's stabilized.
I apologize for the medically induced slumber.
But these cells aren't designed to hold Gods.
-[lasers humming]
-Cooch: Yo, Optimo Rex, you can't lock us up.
We're on TV, dude!
-Liplor: Whoever built this toilet
has never seen my kind go to the bathroom.
This thing should be bolted into the foundation.
-A symbol of American freedom, locked behind bars?!
If this is irony then, brother, I don't like it.
-You have been quarantined for your own safety.
You have been in contact with the hostile insectoid.
Until she is apprehended--
-She has a name.
Lex, my daughter.
You know, when they cloned me to make you,
they should have given you a heart.
-But I must compartmentalize my feelings,
if I am to keep everyone safe.
-Standing between me and my daughter
is the opposite of "safe."
-You appear to have forgotten the severe beating I issued you.
I hope I didn't damage your brain.
-My brain's fine!
-Then, you should help Lex the only way you can...
waiting quietly until Sergeant Agony brings her in.
I've provided old copies of Highlightsmagazine to keep you busy.
-Cooch: Hell yeah!
-I'm ashamed I ever hugged you!
-I am not,
and never will be.
-By God, that is a positive individual.
-[barking]
[sniffing]
[barking]
-Are you on to something, or are you doing the poop dance?
Let me grab my bag.
-No, I've got her scent.
-How the hell do I know?
Buster Nut, you see anything?
-Not yet, but if she takes to the air, I will.
And with those leggings she wears,
I should get a pretty tasty angle
on that sweet, sweet--
-Sergeant Agony: Come on, man, you're still on the mic.
-I know, that's what makes it hot.
-Blue Menace, you got anything? -Blue Menace: Nothing.
Save the incessant bickering of this circus couple
you teamed me up with. -I'm just saying,
if we had taking out Beta Zenith as a team,
I might not be so insecure.
-Groaner, I'm not your therapist.
-If you'd come see Dr. Lolly with me, you wouldn't have to be.
-Hey, I'm gonna need everybody to focus up.
-[barking] I've got something!
-We're on Lex's tail now.
-Now that you mention it, I do need to take a dump.
Can I have five?
Two rounds of "Candy Crush" tops.
-Son of a bitch.
-[dramatic music plays]
-[sighs]
-[eerie music plays]
-Courtney: You're the only one who escaped?
-Yeah, that's right.
I was too smart for 'em.
-Really? -Yes, really!
Or they didn't think I was a threat, which is so absurd,
I-- whoa-oh!
Oh, what the hell, dude?!
-I'm sorry,
I can barely support my own weight.
If I don't feast on human blood soon--
-Great story, Dean Koontz. Now shush!
-[dramatic music plays] -[drones whirring]
-Time to do a little recon, Saturn style.
Agony knows I'm out here.
He'll probably have every one of his men guarding the mansion.
-[drones whirring]
-[camera beeping]
-Courtney: It's a ghost town, dude.
-Probably all hiding inside, ambush, classic.
-[drone whirs]
-Courtney: No one's there, dude.
-Black Saturn: No way!
-[metal clanging]
-The hell?
-Rex!
-Saturn? - Where the hell is everybody?
-Looking for Lex,
but they left Optimo Rex behind to--
-What?! Dude, that's an insult!
Oh, I get it.
They think I'm dead.
Excellent.
-Uh, they know you're alive,
and they know that Optimo Rex
is more than enough to tear you in half!
-Are you kidding me?!
-You need to get a message to Devizo.
-He can find-- -No. I can do this myself.
-Rex, the lift.
-[dramatic music plays]
-[elevator dings]
-You would need an army to take Optimo down.
Stand down. -[elevator dings]
-Oh, no, no, no, wait!
-It is chow time.
-I'm not hungry, asshole.
-Fine.
-I was...
-No! He thinks I'll need an army?
I'll bring an army.
I've got my first soldier right here.
Right, Courtney?
-Maybe I'm busy.
-But you're my sidekick, the Ringler.
-I got turned into a vampire because of you,
and you just left me to rot.
-I had stuff going on.
I was hung up on The Groaner.
It was Summer Slam weekend.
-Well, now, I'm an undead animal,
living with jerks who think I'm useless,
which was kind of like when I lived at the mansion,
but at least I didn't smell like cheese!
-Look...
I don't know if you've ever fallen in love before.
-Of course not. I'm not a girl.
-Well, it messes with your priorities, man.
It makes you do stupid things.
-Like forgetting about your friend?
-Like forgetting about your best friend.
-Come here, you son of a bitch
But seriously, I'm not gonna be any help to you if I don't get some human blood.
-Leave that to me.
-[teeth retract] -Hey! I didn't mean me!
-Oh... [chuckles]
Sorry.
-Black Saturn: Bunsen?
Bunsen!
-It would mean a lot more to me
if you would let me drink your blood.
-Nah, you don't want that.
There's 200-proof tiger's blood coursing through my veins.
It'd give you a tummy ache.
-You called...
-...sir? -Bunsen, think you could tie off with one of your shoelaces?
Gonna need to squeeze you for a few pints of red.
-Sir, I don't want to alarm you, but I smell...
-[dramatic note plays] -...vampire.
-Oh, yeah. It's Courtney--
whoa-ho-ho!
-[Bunsen speaking Latin]
-[screaming] -Oh, no, hey, what the hell are you doing?!
-Disposing of the undead, sir.
-Since when is that your job?
-For millennia, the Bunsens have protected the Wheelihan line,
waiting for the day the Dracuvlads and Wolfenlykes
would return to claim their seed.
This will come as a shock, young Wheelihan,
but you are the chosen one.
-Yeah, no shit.
-Sir?
-I was neck deep in Dracuvlads months ago.
Where were you then?
-Awaiting the call.
-Would've been nice to know.
-They turned me into a vampire to get to him.
If you hadn't had your head up your ass,
I wouldn't be in this position.
The least you could do is give me a little damn blood.
-I'll get you a straw.
-Damn right you'll get me a straw.
And the sun is coming up.
I'm gonna need a coffin, too.
-We have this box from Amazon fresh.
-What did you order?
-A carton of almond milk.
-Get your rest, Courtney.
Tonight, we take Optimo Rex down.
-[eerie music plays] -[whimpering]
-[roaring]
-[roars]
-Ahh! [panting]
-Chet: I'm picking up her trail.
-Blue Menace: She's here!
-[laser zaps] -Ahh!
Ugh!
[screaming]
Ugh!
-[force field warbles] -What?
Let me go.
-I can't do that.
-[chittering, screeches]
-[force field shattering] -[screaming]
You couldn't have mimed some safety glass?
-No! [groans]
-We're running out of time! Get after her!
-On a scale of Paltrow to Kardashian,
I rank her butt a Ratajkowski minus.
-Shut up, fool!
-Careful. -Got it.
-[computer whirring]
-Robobot: A complete sample of Frau Mantis' DNA,
a copy of Lex's insect side.
With this-- -The gene ripper just might work.
-She wanted you to finish it...
one way or the other.
-Even if stripping away her insect DNA kills her?
Then we continue our work.
-[dramatic music]
-Titanium Rex: Psst! Liplor. -Yes?
-These walls are impenetrable,
but the floors are poured from diamond-enriched concrete.
You think you can eat your way through the floor?
-Eating concrete would be the equivalent of eating excrement.
You're literally asking me to eat shit.
I'd rather not.
-But, you could.
-Technically...
-Then I need you to try.
-Ugh, here we go.
-Liplor: [bites] Oh, my God!
-Cooch: You got this, Liplor!
-Liplor: I'm going to be sick!
-[dramatic music plays]
-Black Saturn: This team is coming together,
but I need the one man who trusts me with his life,
Commissioner Gomez,
which is why we're meeting at the symbol of our bond,
the Saturn symbol--
What the hell?!
I told them to clean this G.D. thing twice a day!
-Commissioner Gomez: It's the thing you can never wrap your head around, Saturn.
Storm City P.D. don't work for you.
-Then where is the $1,500 a month I send you for signal upkeep.
-Gonna be honest, we drink that money.
-[laughs] Whew...
You keep things interesting, Gomez,
but now it's my turn.
I'm assembling a team.
-Nope. Nope. -But-- just--
-Shut up! -The League of Freedom has been arrested!
-Yeah, I heard about that.
Got to be honest,
doesn't sit well with me.
-Then you're gonna-- then you'll-- but-- -No. No.
-No way. -Courtney: Oh, sick!
Never seen birds have sex before.
Kind of wish I hadn't.
-Courtney? I remember you.
You was with Black Saturn for a while there.
Man, those were the days.
You on this team?
-Sure am. -Then I'm in.
-What?! Because of Courtney?!
You know he's a freaking vampire, right?
-Who hasn't been bit by a vampire.
I had a run in the '80s, nothing I'm proud of.
You just got to kill the head vampire, then--
-Great story, some real R.L. Stine shit.
You're on the team. That's what matters.
-Our next move, sir?
-This team of four needs two more picks,
if we're to become
Saturn Six!
I'm assembling a-- oh!
If we work together-- eh!
What do you say? Ahh!
You know what? This team is good.
Let's move.
-[slurps]
-[retches, sobbing] I can't...
do this anymore.
-You've got to.
If we lose Lex to her insect side, well,
we've all seen the future that leads to.
-Speaking of, I'm feeling a little ripped off.
Wasn't I supposed to kick off this apocalyptic future
by becoming president?
-That's how it was supposed to happen,
before we traveled to the future...
-Ugh! -Titanium Rex: ...and Lex met herself.
-Ahh! -[hissing]
-[cracking]
-When I consume you, look under the golden rock.
-[air whooshes]
-There's no way of knowing how that changed things.
-But what if there is no hope for Lex?
If need be,
do you have the strength to do what must be done?
-How long did it take to come up with a plan?
The sun comes up in, like, an hour.
-Sorry. I got sucked into Divorceon HBO.
I was obviously procrastinating,
but that's my process.
Who's ready to do this?!
-Tell him, Bunsen.
-We were talking,
and perhaps it would be best to call it.
-Yeah, maybe we should call it...
a comeback.
Let's move!
-Look, we've been watching this Optimo Rex.
He's been up doing yard work since 3:30.
He's a machine.
That's a 7-year-old oak he's hand-mulching there.
We're outgunned, I tell ya.
-You guys don't think we can do this?
-Optimo Rex beat Titanium Rex single-handedly.
-Yeah? So?
-Maybe this fight is above your weight class...
and intelligence,
-and emotional maturity. -What do you know, Bunsen?
You're just a butler.
Here, why don't you go run some errands?
That's all you're good for.
-Yes... sir.
-Courtney,
here are the schematics to the mansion's power grid.
You're gonna turn into a bat and find the power main.
Chew through the wires.
That'll disable the League's cells,
-and then we'll be able-- -But the sun is coming up!
-Just go!
-You said I could trust you.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can.
-[screeches]
-Saturn, as much as I'd like to see you march in there and get your head taken off,
I'm an officer of the law. -[gun cocks]
-I can't let you do that.
-Oh... shit.
-[Courtney grunting, groaning]
[screeches]
Ugh, that's like doing 2,000 lat pulls on an empty stomach.
-[chanting music plays]
-Sun's coming up.
[wings flapping]
-[digging]
-Hey, Optimo Rex,
got something you're looking for.
-[dramatic music plays]
-[retches] I-I can't do this.
-Then... it's over.
-What about Saturn? He could still--
I don't know.
What does Saturn do again?
-Exactly.
-I appreciate you bringing the fugitive in, Commissioner Gomez.
I'll take it from here.
-Afraid it's not that simple.
Gonna need you to fill out some paperwork.
We do things by the book at SEPD.
-I hope you won't be offended,
but if I'm going to sign something,
I have to read the entire document.
-Sure, sure.
Wouldn't have it any other way.
-[suspenseful music plays] -[handcuffs click]
-Yeah, this one was slippery, uh, he--
-Black Saturn: Hey, rat dick!
-[dramatic music plays] -Think you could lock up
my friends without getting your shit kicked in?
-You were supposed to sneak off and free your team, you idiot.
-Calling an audible.
-You... lied to me.
I find that... annoying.
-Can't hear you.
Why don't you speak into the microdrone?
-[drones whirring]
-[retches]
I think Saturn's here.
-What are these things?
-I'd tell you, but I don't want to...
"drone" on. Attack!
-[lasers zapping]
-[arm cannon whirs] -[explosions]
-Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
-Okay, you boys got this covered.
Gomez out.
-This is it, Courtney.
Chew like your life depends on it.
[grunting]
-I find your behavior disturbing.
I'm having trouble containing my anger.
-Black Saturn: No need.
-[heavy footsteps]
-Look what I found.
Ultra Saturn, baby.
Face, face, face,
again to the face, another one to the face,
face, face, face, face, face, face, face, face,
face!
-[intense music plays] -You shouldn't have made me angry.
-[grunts]
-Let's see how you do in a fair fight.
Computer,
kitchen sink.
-[targeting computer whirring]
-[missile launchers cocking]
-[targeting computer beeping]
-Ugh! Ugh! Ahh! Ugh! Ugh! Ow!
[grunting, groaning] Oh! Ahh! Ahh!
-[crashes]
-[groans]
-I do quite well in a fair fight,
thank you very much.
-Ugh. Ugh.
-How did you ever convince yourself you could beat me?
-I...
I know I'm not the strongest hero out there,
but I'm not a bad decoy.
-[electricity crackles] -Got ya, bitch!
Ahh! Ugh.
[coughing]
-[lasers hissing]
-He did it.
That son of a bitch did it!
-Cool. So, I, uh--
I swallowed 800 pounds of shit for nothing!
-Ugh. take you long enough? [coughs]
I got the shit kicked out of me, man!
-Are you kidding me?!
I'm about to burst into flames, you dick.
-You are not. -Shut the fuck up!
-All you think about is yourself!
Well, I want you to see what happens!
I want you to see your best friend
burst into flames!
[whimpers]
-[dramatic music plays]
-Hey, I feel... different.
-Looks like Bunsen completed his errands.
-[electronic music plays]
-[roar] -[grunts]
-[gunfire]
-[grunts]
-[Dracuvlad screams]
-You don't think it's--
-Don't speak his name.
The opposite of House Bunsen.
-[Lemans hisses] -[Luprecious grunts]
-[Lemans screeches]
-[screams]
-[grunting, groaning]
-[groaning]
[coughs]
-Courtney says, "Hello,"
-sir. -[flesh tears]
-[screaming]
-You actually care about me.
-Dude, you're my best friend-- ugh!
-[arm cannon whirs]
-I have been more than polite.
This is over.
-Looks that way.
-What? Ugh!
-I am awake.
-Wait, wait, wait! Wait a second.
You... did all this?
-Yeah, I did! I--
I mean, the Ringler did it...
under my supervision.
-I don't care how you did it.
Thank you.
Saddle up, team.
Lex is out there,
and we're going to save her.
♪♪♪
-Leave me alone!
-[laser zapping] -Don't know what I'm capable of!
Ugh!
[grunting]
-[dramatic music plays]
-[laser zapping]
-[screaming]
-[laser zapping]
-Sergeant Agony: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hold up, hold up, hold up!
Stop firing, goddamn it!
-[explosion]
-Buster Nut: Oh, shit.
-[dramatic music plays]
-Oh, no.
I just killed Rex's daughter.
-[rumbling]
-Rex's daughter is gone.
[screeches]
And I killed her.
[screeching]
-Mm, still making those leggings work.
-[theme song playing]
-[monkey chatters] -Man: Stupid monkey.
-[paper tearing] -[monkey cry]
-[slap]