Some agencies,they help their clients
sell their housesby reducing clutter.
We help them by stoppingthe walls from bleeding.
I’m Luke Roman.
I have this kind of connectionto these things all of my life.
- If you like her...- Hey.
You should make a move.
-Everybody, this isSusan Ireland, our new agent.
The technical term
is telekinesis.
Tonight, for the first timein my entire life,
I really felt like
I was in control.
-Those things,they can hurt you!
They are dangerous.
Until you learna little more about them
you might want to think aboutdoing things our way.
Dear.
This house is clean.
Bitch.
The things I’ve seenthese past few months
feel like one big hallucination.
I’m going to be really busyover the next few weeks.
-Guess maybe you’ll see meif you have time.
- Here, buddy, look at me!- Something’s changed.
The voices, they’re not there.
I got nothing.
-Hey, I can handle thingsfor a little while.
-I’m afraidyou’re going to have to.
These final negotiations
are always a little...
tricky.
Of course, the sellerwants something.
The buyer wants something else.
And, sometimes, there are
other parties involved
who have desires of their own.
That’s when your representationreally matters.
Excuse me.I just need to take this.
- Zooey, where is he?- I don’t know.
He was in his carheaded your way
when his phone cut out!Did you check in with August?
-August is a little busyright now.
Dear.
Shit!
- He’s here!- Does he have the key?
- Do you have the key?- That thing zapped my car
and chased methe last eight blocks!
-Real estate is exciting,isn’t it?
- Okay, if August crunchedthese numbers correctly,
you have, like,seven minutes, max.
-One sec.Hi.
Suppose I could trouble youfor a glass of water
and some Tylenol?
-I have the key!
-Technology is not cooperating.
-As soon as the numberscome up on screen,
we need to reset the clock,wind it up and make...
Augie, was that you?
-I find nothing funnyabout our current situation.
Nothing electricalseems to work.
-Looks like we have to do thisold school.
-This was so much simplerwhen Luke could just
talk to these things.
-Those days are gone.
Come on, come on!
Read me the numberswhen you get ’em!
It looks like eight.
Four, eight.
- Four eight? That’s not a time!- Well, that’s what it says!
Wait. The O in four isdirectly above the H in eight.
Four-eight.
Duh.
See, the house was owneby two brothers.
An electrician and a plumber.But...
one night the electricianmurdered the plumber.
-So, like Cain and Abelin the Bible.
-Yeah, most of thereally nasty shit
starts in that particular book.
Anyway, they saythe grandfather clock you have
stopped at that moment. So,
we had to track downthe exact time of death,
find a key that wouldwork in the clock,
reset it and then get it running
so that the plumbercould move on, but...
the electrician fought usevery step of the way.
-So... Ooh!
- Who wants to sell a house?- Are you okay?
I’m super! I’m super!
August just has a littlewet cleanup to do in aisle five
and then we’re good to go.
-So, what now?
-Well, now we sell this place!
-Well, we’re a little worried’cause our neighbors,
they showed their house nonstopfor six months
before they found a buyer.
-Remember, it only takes one.
One person to step into a houseand whammo!
Feels like home.
-Does it ever reallyhappen that way, though?
- It totally does!- See...
I believe the right houseis like a soulmate.
You can look ata thousand other houses
but when the right onecomes along, you know.
And it’s magic.
-Well, let’s hopefor some magic.
-Thanks, Susan!You’re amazing!
I, I don’t suppose you haveany jumper cables, do you?
-Hey, Susan in yet?
- Hopefully not for a while.- I have seven urgent messages
for her and she’s latefor the Cantervilles.
Yeah, well, I’m,six houses behind
on PIP searchesand HCP profiles.
- Have you seen August?- In his workshop.
He slept on his couchlast night.
-Yeah, I keep telling myselfbusy is good, but damn!
-This is whatour future looks like
if Luke doesn’t get back,like, now.
-Any word at all?
Well, then it’s timeto rattle his cage a little.
It’s an absolutebloodbath out there.
Your neighborhood is white-hotand you’re competing with
every house on the block.
It’s a seller’s market.It’s like...
it’s like a big, angry bearand with this kitchen,
your house is Leonardo DiCapriowaving a stick.
But it’s so much money.
-Look, you knock out this wall,put in a nice big island,
upgrade those appliances,a backsplash here,
a wine fridge there and...
you can increaseyour asking price to this...
But you’ll only be spending...
that.
Your R-O-I is going to beat least 84%!
Even moreif there’s a bidding war
and there is nothing likea farm sink
and a restaurant-quality stove
to make a buyer think aboutinvading Poland.
-You are a rock star, Susan!
-Well...
These are killing me, August.
I am literally dying.
-"The idea is to die young
as late as possible."
Ashley Montague.
-I know this agencywas founded on Luke’s ability
to see these things,
talk with them,reason with them,
even whenthey didn’t feel like it.
-A difficult giftto replace with technology.
-But he can’t do that anymore!So you’re the guy!
There has to besomething more efficient here
than Scrabble tiles.
-And yet they came through.
-Keep working it, Augie.
-Hello!
Tell me how you died!
Ha.
- What a day.- Yeah.
-How are we doingon McTeer and Bryce?
McTeer title’s clean.
Bryce had a lienfrom a crazy roofer,
but we’re getting it cleared up.
-Did you finishthe PIP on Sanderson?
Two previous owners, no DOPs,
no Undies, no Baby Janes.
-Okay. No deaths on premises,
nobody buriedunder the basement and...
Don’t tell me.
-Bette Davis,Joan Crawford, 1962.
- Nobody...- Blah!
Nobody being tormentedby a family member!
That’s it!
Um...
I,
I noticed you brought inthree more normies this week.
-Not every househas to be a horror show.
And I’m supposed to look ata bank repo this afternoon
that Julie Chenis interested in.
Aren’t you getting, um,a little tired?
And I’m only askingbecause the rest of us
are really exhaustedwatching you.
-I thrive on being busy.Always have.
I’m living my best life.
Next stepis to take out the wall.
Try not to maketoo much of a mess.
You’re on acrusade about the radiation.
- Yeah, they have...- gamma rays on vegetables.
-What the hell is that?
-I don’t know.
They asked us to look for...
the finger...
so they could sew it back on.
-Any luck?
-Guy’s probably lawyering upas we speak and where’s Susan?
It was her ideato remodel the kitchen.
-Well, Susan is primarily asales and marketing specialist.
When shit gets realand your walls start to bleed,
they generally call onMister Ripley and myself.
-So, tell me aboutthis voice you heard.
-It was a very high one, a boy.
Little one,singing his heart out.
-It was beautiful.
Like that choir. The...
- The Vienna Boys’ Choir.- Exactly!
-Yeah, we can check,but most of them
probably have an airtight alibi.
-Being in, you know...
Vienna.
-Where is thisLuke Roman person?
His name is on the sign!Why isn’t he getting involved
with this?Where the hell is he?
-Bless me, Father,for I have whiffed.
-Gimme three Hail Mary’sand close your stance.
So, I’m here for mybiweekly wellness check.
Stopped going to Funland?
Stopped being fun.
Now it’s just land.
Anything newon the adoption front?
-They say it’sonly a matter of time
and finding the right situation.
-It’ll work out.
-So, how’re you keeping busythese days?
-Watch a lot of TV.
You know, Jeopardyis a lot more challenging
without the voices whisperingthe answers in my ear.
I think I found your mom.
Got some hits on the name.
Kinda tracked her through acouple of towns over the years.
Yay, internet!
-Where is she?
-Not far.
I want to check out some things,you know, just to make sure.
-Well, keep me posted, okay?
Everything good at the office?
Yeah...
Susan’s killing it.
-Felt kinda bad aboutthe Travis house fallout.
She didn’t evenwork for us then.
-Did you not see her interviewon Channel Seven?
-No. You know,I’ve been kind of...
-A reminder that the wondersof modern life come with danger
And that’s why the Roman Agency
is sponsoringthe Home Safe Home initiative,
subsidizing furnace inspectionsto low-income housing.
Because home is the one place
where you shouldalways feel safe.
- Wow.- Yeah, it was a great idea.
Totally saved our bacon.
-That’s great.
-Did you hearwe sold the Donovan house?
- It’s a great property.- Once you get past the portal
- and the hellhound and...- Sister Act?
Yeah.
So, you coming back or what?
-Thinking Monday.My dad’s birthday and I know
he’d tell me to get my lazy buttback to work.
Besides...
Runnin’ outta quarters.
Hail Mary, full of grace.
Do you see the finger?
- No.- Are you sure?
-I work in real estate.
I’m perfectly aware of whata middle finger looks like.
- Luke!- William!
How’s our favoriterepeat client?
- I am well!- I am wonderful.
Now, where is Sylvia?
-Susan? She is really busy,
but I thought I’d drop offthis housewarming gift.
- Very kind.- I take it
- you’re starting something new?- Yes.
You know how I like to startevery new novel
in a new and fresh place.I mean,
if you cannotfrighten your own willy off you
from time to timeto prove to yourself
that you’re stillfogging up the mirror?
-Well, this place’ll do it.
-Yes. In fact...
I was justgetting the spare keys
and a few tipsfrom the former owner.
Hello, Luke.
-Megan. Hi.
Well, I think perhaps,
I’m just going to go indoorsand...
get better acquainted.Yes.
-Hey.
Congratulations on the sale.
- Yeah.- And the residency.
It’s really exciting.
-Kinda scary.
-Well, you don’tscare that easy.
So, when do you leave?
-Day after tomorrow.
I was gonna call you.
-It’s okay.
You got a lot going on.
How are you getting bywithout the, um...?
-I’m good.
Some daysare better than others.
But I’m good.
-You know,it feels really ironic.
The things you do...Did.
The things you sawand talked to.
Those were the thingsthat I struggled with.
And, now, they’re um...They’re kinda gone.
-And you’re leaving, too.
-Thank you for making my worldso much bigger.
- It’s that bank repo.- They call it the Ensom House.
I finally got up hereto check it out.
Look, I’ll call you back.
Whammo.
I believe the right houseis like a soulmate.
You can look ata thousand other houses,
but when the right onecomes along,
you know.
And it’s magic.
Wowza.
I’m sorry. I do notunderstand your request.
- Sure.- There’s a smart-house function.
-What can I do for you?
-Just looking.
-Please let me know if youhave any questions, Susan.
-How’d you...
Did the bank add meto the database?
-Yes. Please let me knowif you have any questions.
-Sorry I’m late.Everything okay?
The Cantervillesare freaking out.
-Okay. In momentslike these
I think it’s importantwe follow a process.
Luke always counted onintuition and magic
those days are over.
- Susan, sh.- No, no.
I think we need toface the truth here.
Luke has lost his special sauce.He’s just a regular guy now...
-On a good day.
-Luke!
So, it’s a step-by-step processI call ECHIDNA:
Engage, Coordinate, Handhold,Investigate, De-terminate,
- Neutralize, Assess.- De-terminate?
-A lot of our clients don’treally understand what we do.
So, when we get fired...terminated...
-Which we always do.
-We need to be rehired.De-terminated.
-But why ECHIDNA?
-Echidna is an egg-laying mammalindigenous to Australia.
- Well, there you go.- It’s a mnemonic.
To help you rememberthe key steps of the process.
Well, Heaven forbidyou forget your ECHIDNA.
Great. Good.Thanks so much.
Can you catch me upon what’s happening
- with the Kingston place?- Boy.
The DeVores wanta contingency deal, right?
But Jack Kingston’snot having it.
He says,"Buy it or don’t. I don’t care."
-Return to thesweet embrace of the grave.
-We’ve tried any numberof devices to
facilitate communicationbeyond the veil.
There’s something about toysthat works particularly well.
Possibly their simplicity and...playful appearance
create a rapportwith those on the other side.
Luke, do you think this...
Your current status,do you think it’s...
permanent?
-You mean do you think I’mgoing to remain a normal person?
Well, gee, I hope so.
Yeah? What?
-Your office.
Why were you so nasty to Susan?
-I wasn’t nasty.
-You were a condescending,dismissive jerk.
-Look, we havea lot of work to do.
Susan is great. You know thatI think she is great,
but she does tend toget bogged down in the process.
And we just don’t have the time.
-Well, Susan made the timeto keep this agency running
while you were offhaving your two-month
case of the Mondays!
- Where is she?- I have no idea.
Where does she go when she feelssad, unappreciated and
justifiably pissed off?
-Who’s there?
Um... house?
House control voice thingy?
Creepy man-projecting internetconnected simulated person unit?
Hello, Susan.
-Did you just play that musica minute ago?
-Did you not like it?
-I...
Yes, it was fine.It just startled me.
-I’m sorry.
-My device at home waitsuntil I ask it to play music.
-Yes, the older models do that.
-I gotta go.
-Come back... soon.
- I was...- I am really grateful
for the way you stepped upand ran things while I was away.
I don’t know if I expressedthat really well in there
and I’m really sorryif I sounded like anything
other than really grateful.Really.
-You know you say "really" a lotduring difficult conversations?
No shit?
- Sorry to interrupt.- Whattaya got?
-A few things dribbling inon the Canterville house.
1938, a ten-year-old boynamed Samuel MacAdams
died of scarlet feverin the house.
-Child’s voice.
It all adds up.
-What all adds up?It’s one clue.
-I’ll take it from here.
-Yeah, um...I’ll let you know when the...
rest of the records come in.
-So, you’re really justgoing to do this yourself?
Screw the process.
-Susan, you took what we doand you color-coded it.
There’s nothing magicalabout your process.
It’s my process with a cute namebut without the intuition.
Susan.
What are you going to do?Rat me out to Zooey again?
- You go ahead.- I’ll be right up.
-I’m telling you, Mom,I was killing it.
Clients loved me.
Competitors respected me.
Bob Livingston feared me.
-Monsters are alwaysafraid of fire.
And I like Luke!
-I like the old Luke.The new Luke seems...
Defensive.Territorial.
Just insecure.
-You never really knowwhat people are going through.
Now, that being said,
I never believedyou’d be truly happy
unless you work someplacewith your name on the door.
Am I that arrogant?
That good.
-Do you remember that house wehad
on the shore that one summer?
The one withthe amazing ocean view?
You really loved that house.
It was bright and cheerful
and I would just lie thereand daydream.
That was the one summerdaddy wasn’t away at work.
-I would justlie in the sunshine...
and listen to him play piano.
-That was a good summer.
-Anyway, I...
I found a beautiful house
that brings it all back.
-I didn’t knowyou were thinking of moving.
-Neither did I.
-Heading for theCanterville place?
- So, how’s this work?- You speak slowly and clearly
and pull the string.
The words that come outare those of...
whatever is there.
You are... certainyou’re up for this?
-It’s a kid, August.
A kid lost in a house.If I can’t handle this,
I might as well hang it up.
Luke.
We were beginning to wonderif you were real.
-Yeah, I get that a lot.
You going somewhere?
-We can’t stay hereanother night.
-I think I have a solution.
-Randall,
get in the car.
We are goingto stay with my sister
and that stops being fun...
really fast.
Get rid of this thing,
or pull up your signand get out.
Shit.
-Samuel?
I don’t know if you can hear me,
but I’m here to help.
Let me guess.
Not Samuel.
If it’s notthe little boy, who is it?
-His name was Edgar Cornell.
He was a serial killer.He murdered six people
that we know of.
He removed various body partsand dropped them in mailboxes.
This was in, like, ’78, ’79.
He was convictedand executed in 1985
but in between,in the early ’80s,
- he lived in this house.- My God.
Yeah, Luke could nothave gotten this more wrong.
He has no ideawhat he’s walking into.
But what aboutthe voice, the-the singing?
The thing was,he had this freaky high voice.
He lured his victimsby impersonating a child
in trouble.
Like a lot of serial killers,Cornell liked trophies. A...
hair ribbon here, jewelry there.
A body part that he wouldcut off or bite off.
- Trophies!- That’s gotta be it.
He came back for the trophies!
- But why now?- He’s been dead since ’85!
Look, we’re right outside.
How longuntil you guys get here?
We’re, like, a minute away.
Hurry! Luke’s in therewith no powers, no clue...
and that...thing!
-I came back to get my goodies.
- Stay back!- Luke, he’s a serial killer.
He collected trophiesfrom his victims.
-They must have beenhidden in the wall!
The kitchen remodelbrought him back from wherever
to find them!
It’s somewhere in the wall!Find it!
Go, quickly!
-The hole needs to be bigger.
- Zooey, watch out.- What?
- Watch out.- Okay.
-Waahh!
-His name was Happy Dan.
Luke, look out!
- What am I looking for?- A bag, or a box.
Jewellery; a hair ribbon.
Body parts.
My God.
-Hey! Handsome!
Give me a callwhen your voice changes.
-Susan! Here!
-You guys are all so tough
until somebodytorches your goodies.
Thanks, Deb.
As soon as the kitchen is done,we hit the market.
Yeah, I spokewith the contractor. Yeah.
Yeah, I sort oflit a fire under his ass.
Two weeks.Great.
’Kay, bye.
-The Cantervilles?
-We’re back on.
-So we are de-terminated.
Great job on this, Susan.
- Thanks.- No, I mean...
I screwed upand you pulled it out.
You really shouldtake some time.
-Time?
-You could be kicking assand closing escrow
almost single-handedly.
Take a few days off!I got this covered.
-Um...
Yeah. Maybe.Thanks.
-Hey, Bob.
Yeah. Back at the helm,steering the ship.
Listen, about this,Frederico listing,
what’s his bottom line price?
-Julie, it’s Susan.
Hey, so I checked outthat bank repo like you asked.
Yeah.
No, it’s okay.It’s just, um...
It’s just not for you.
Yeah.
N-no, yeah, of course,we’ll keep on looking.
Okay.Goodbye.
-Feels weird coming hereto feel close to you.
Lacks the atmosphere of Funland.
And the hot dogsaren’t nearly as good.
Sorry I haven’tbeen by in a while.
But I’m, back at work
and, Dad,I’m just tearing it up.
Alienated Susan,
best real estate agentto ever live.
Faced down a serial killer
armed with nothingbut a stuffed animal
and an epic misunderstandingof the situation.
And you’ll like this...
Phil thinks he found mom.
Yeah.
"For reals" this time.
For as long as I can rememberI wanted to ask her...
Why?
Why’d she leave?
What did we do?
What did I do?
I really wish that we couldtalk about these things.
Maybe someday.
Maybe not.
Here, Dad.
Nice catch.
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