Welcome back to?
The Bear!
I'm Carmen Berzatto,
and today, we're gonna be making beef braciole.
Now this is a very special dish
in my dysfunctional nightmare of a household.
My brother Mike made this for us every single Sunday.
Aw.
And, you guys, this is a cute story.
My brother, who was addicted to painkillers,
blew his head off on the State Street bridge.
Bam!
Oh...
Now, hold on, it gets better.
No letter, no goodbye, nothing.
Except he did leave me
our family's restaurant in his will,
which was a nice curveball
considering he never let me work there with him,
even though I'm...
pretty good at this, right?
Uh, I used to run the best restaurant on the planet Earth.
It was pretty different from my brother's shithole,
which is barely hanging on by a thread.
So that was a nice final "fuck you"
from Michael on the way out.
Anyway, braciole.
The fuck?
Guys?
Where's my stuff?
The fuck is going on?
Fuck!
Shit!
Mike!
I'm sorry, guys, I'm sorry. Um...
I'm, I'm sorry, I'm really... I'm just fucking this up, guys.
I'm fucking this up. Stop, please.
It's...
I'm fucking this up.
I'm right here.
I can't do this.
Guys, I can't do this!
Stop! I can't, I can't do this!
You know.
I'm right here.
Hey, Carm, hey, can you hear me?
Get the fuck off my expo, Chef, now!
Get the fuck off!
Come on, you're better than this place.
You're better.
I wanna set this place on fuckin' fire.
Why are you...
Hey, Bear... let it rip.
I got you, Car.
Would anyone that's been to
fewer than 15 meetings like to speak?
My name's Carmen.
My, um...
my brother's an addict.
My, My brother was an addict.
And this morning, I, um...
Sorry, uh...
I forgot, um... B-Before I came to Al-Anon, I was a cook.
I mean, I'm-I'm still a cook,
I'm just a different kind of cook, I guess.
My brother and I, we would cook a lot together,
especially when we were kids.
You know, that's-that's when we were closest.
Food was always our common ground.
We wanted to open a restaurant together.
Um, we had a name, we had a vibe, all of it.
My brother could make you feel confident in yourself.
You know, like, when I was a kid, if I was nervous,
I was scared, I wouldn't wanna do something,
he'd always tell me to just face it.
You know, get it over with. He would always say, um...
Stupid, he would always say, um...
"Let it rip."
He was loud.
And he was hilarious.
And he had this amazing ability.
He could just, he could walk into a room,
and he could take the temperature of it instantly.
You know, he could just, he could dial it.
And, um...
I'm not built like that, man.
I, um...
I didn't have a lot of friends growing up.
I had a, a stutter when I was a kid.
I was scared to speak half the time.
And, uh, I got shitty grades
'cause I couldn't pay attention in school.
I didn't get into college.
I didn't have any girlfriends.
I don't think I'm funny.
I always thought my brother was my best friend.
Like, Like, we just knew everything about each other.
Except...
everybody thought he was their best friend.
You know, he was that, he was that magnetic.
And, um...
I didn't know my brother was using drugs.
What does that say?
As we got older, I-I realized
I didn't know anything about him...
really.
He stopped letting me into the restaurant
a couple years ago.
He just cut me off cold.
And that, um...
that hurt, you know.
And I think that just, that flipped a switch in me
where I was like, "Okay, fuck you, watch this."
And because we had this connection through food
and he had made me feel so rejected and lame
and shitty and uncool,
I-I made this plan where I was gonna go work
in all the best restaurants in the world.
You know, like, like, I'm gonna go work in real kitchens.
Like, fuck Mom and Dad's piece of shit, right?
And it sounds ridiculous, you know, me saying that now,
but that's-that's-that's what I did.
And I got the shit kicked outta me.
And I separated herbs and I shucked oysters
and clams and uni.
And I cut myself, and I got garlic and onions
and peppers in my fingernails and in my eyes,
and my skin was dry and oily at the same time.
I had calluses on my fingers from the knives,
and my stomach was fucked, and it was...
everything.
And a couple years later, this funny thing happened
which is like...
for the first time in my life
I-I started to find this, uh, this station for myself.
And I was fast. I wasn't afraid.
And it was clear, and I-I felt...
I felt okay, you know.
I knew which vegetables went together,
proteins, temperature, sauces, all that shit.
And when somebody new came into the restaurant to stage,
I'd look at them like they were competition,
like I'm gonna smoke this motherfucker.
I felt like I could speak through the food,
like I could communicate through creativity.
And that kind of confidence, you know,
like I was finally... I wa... I was good at something, that was so new,
and that was so exciting and I just wanted him
to know that and, fuck, I just wanted him
to be like, "Good job!"
And the more he wouldn't respond,
and the more our relationship...
kinda strained,
the deeper into this I went and the better I got.
And the more people I cut out, the quieter my life got.
And the routine of the kitchen was so...
consistent and exacting and busy
and hard and alive,
and I lost track of time and he died.
And he left me his restaurant.
And over the last couple months I-I've been trying to fix it
'cause it was in rough shape, and I think it's very clear
that me trying to fix the restaurant...
was me trying to fix whatever was happening with my brother.
And I don't know, maybe fix the whole family because...
that restaurant, it has and it, it does mean
a lot to people.
It means a lot to me.
I just don't know if it ever meant anything to him.
Anything from Marcus yet?
No, Jeff.
For real, she just missed my asshole, you know.
Like, what happens if you get stabbed in the asshole?
You can't sew an asshole.
- I've sewn asshole. - Whose?
A close friend.
Chefs, yo, let's bring it in for pre-service, please.
Yes, Chef.
Everybody, come on out.
Uh, okay, look, I hate to be the bearer of bad news,
but we are gonna be closed for dinner service tonight
'cause we are having a bachelor party in the front.
- Fuck that! - I know.
I know. It's Cicero's friends, so...
- Yo, Cousin. - That sucks, Jeff.
I was just getting into the zone.
No, I know. I get it.
But, uh, it's just for the night.
We're still gonna rock lunch, alright?
I'll run point out front tonight
in case I gotta use the big boy voice.
I think we'll be fine, thank you.
Bro, you can never tell
with these white-collar criminals.
- Carmen, how many people? - How many people?
Um, I'm not sure, but, uh, we're gonna try to keep it chill.
They're gonna bring their own booze.
We're gonna have snacks, small plates
moving right through, okay?
- Alright, yes, Chef. - Thanks, Chef.
Thank you, Chefs.
Okay, I see you.
You see me?
Yeah, combining ingredients.
Yeah.
Just take the compliment. Jeez.
Now I see you adding salt and everything.
- No... - You're outta control.
Yeah.
That's cool. You didn't even take a day off.
Uh, I don't know about cool.
I feel like, uh, I'm just the type, like,
as soon as I stop, I...
You know?
Yeah, I feel that.
My dad's like that.
Yeah, my, uh, my mom's like that.
I, um, I feel kinda bad 'cause I feel like
I haven't really like asked you how you're doing,
um, with everything since, you know.
Yeah. I mean, I feel okay.
Better.
You know, my head just got real fucked up for a minute.
I mean, welcome to the club.
Is that not weird, though?
Dude, it would be weird to work in a restaurant
and not completely lose your mind.
- Yeah. - Hmm.
Mm. It's good?
I mean, we're about to find out.
So what is this?
This is, uh, Chilean sea bass.
We got a little...
inspired, uh, tomato confit.
Then, uh, I don't know, herbs,
'cause... fuck it.
You know, why the fuck not?
Okay, that's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
So, have you like,
eaten at all these people that you studied?
Oh, man, when I was at the CIA,
the, um, the Culinary Institute of America,
not the, you know, CIA...
Yeah, thanks for clearing that up.
Yeah, I thought you were a spy.
I could do a regime change
if I really felt like it.
A chef by day, a CIA agent by night?
Okay, it's... Crazier things have happened.
- Your coordination, though. - Hey!
What do you mean, hey? You spilled veal stock.
I've seen you in action, I'm just saying...
I invite you into my home and this is how you treat me?
You, You reward me with memories for cooking for you?
Anyway, when I was at the CIA,
I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet
because I didn't know half of the people
that anyone was talking about, and...
I was also so, so broke when I was there.
And the moment the semester finished,
I bought a one-way ticket to New York
and I spent every single dollar I had,
every last penny, just eating.
Every single place that I could think of.
And one of those places was the best meal I ever had.
That's so tight.
So what was the best one?
Wait one second, because I forgot...
this.
- Get ready for this. - Mm-hmm.
Wow, yeah.
I had a chef who...
would only let me zest.
- Mm-hmm. - That was it.
I worked at the place for like, eight months,
and all I did was zest.
Oh, that's normal.
So normal.
Yeah.
Wow.
This is really, really, really good.
Thank you.
Nope.
Fuck, Mikey.
Yo, Jeff.
Yo. What's up, T?
Jeff?
Yeah?
You good?
Yeah.
Yeah, why?
Hmm.
No. You're not as annoying as usual.
I'm just, uh, tired, I think.
Heard.
You're dressed like Syd.
Hmm. Like a profesh?
Yeah.
- I like it. - I like it, too.
Hey, T, you don't know anything about, uh,
KBL Electric, do you?
Mikey never mentioned anything about that to you?
Who the fuck knows?
That kid?
Marone.
What's it for?
I don't know.
He was paying these big pieces out every month.
Adds up to the amount that Cicero loaned him.
How much was the loan?
It's a lot.
That's a lotta bachelor parties to pay it back, huh?
Yes, Chef.
Why didn't he just pay the vendors?
I don't know, Carm.
I remember there was one month we didn't have napkins.
He wasn't paying them on time.
I was like, "Mikey, pay these motherfuckers. We need napkins."
And he was like, "What's the point?
We not gonna be able to pay 'em next month anyways."
Hmm.
Sounds like that was his attitude, huh?
No, no.
I remember it because it wasn't his attitude.
Hey, Tina, you go ahead, you take the night off, okay?
I got you.
Thanks.
Yo, Jeff?
You know how much I loved him, right?
How much?
A lot.
I loved him a lot.
Thanks, Jeff.
I, um, I had some of your donut the other day.
- Off the floor? - Yeah, off the floor.
Gary keeps it clean.
No, I don't wanna hear...
That's not a good excuse.
Listen, the man works hard.
Well, so what'd you think?
It was, It was really good.
- It was really, really good. - Hmm.
And I'm really sorry
that Carmy destroyed it like a little bitch.
That's exactly what he did. He destroyed it like a bitch.
- Little bitch. - Little small bitch.
- Okay. - Mm-hmm.
Have you, um, have you talked to him yet, or...
No.
I'm gonna go back, and we'll hash it out, I guess.
Or maybe not, and that's just how it is,
"Thank you, Chef, may I have another?"
Yeah, there is no right answer.
You gonna go back to UPS?
UPS is the crazy shit that made me
wanna do this crazy shit, so, probably not.
We didn't really like eat out a lot growing up,
so when we did, it felt special even if it wasn't.
- Mm-hmm. - I don't know.
Yeah, I mean, my family was the same.
Like, for my cousin Terrell's graduation,
we went to Michael Jordan's steakhouse.
- Okay, and? - What do you mean, and?
It's the best restaurant on Earth.
- What do you mean? - The bacon?
Yes, yes, exactly, you understand, yeah.
It's the best bacon.
That's what I wanna do, though. I wanna...
I wanna cook for people and make them happy
and give them the best bacon on Earth.
Well, even though that spot is, is taken, actually.
Second-best is cool.
- That's great. - Mm-hmm.
- I'd love that. - Yeah.
So back to The Beef then, huh?
I don't know. Knowing me, I'll just probably...
get a job at another spot.
Another after that, and I guess just do that forever
until my credit isn't negative one million.
Uh.
You got a dream spot?
Of course.
Like what?
I mean, you'll find out when it's open.
- Okay. - Okay.
I like that attitude.
That's how you win.
Yeah, or, or lose everything
and, um, end up living back with your dad
and his stinky fuckin' CPAP machine.
But... it was cool seeing you guys
be good at different things, you and Carmen,
and I learned a lot from y'all.
Hmm.
Wait, so what was the best one?
Best what?
Best meal you ever had.
Yeah, it was, it was Carmy's.
- I knew it. I knew it, yeah. - Hmm.
He is really, really...
really good.
High praise.
Yeah, but he's still a little bitch.
Yeah.
I won't disagree.
Fuckin' asshole.
I'm standing right here doing nothing.
Not you, your fuckin' brother.
This is a fucking disgrace right here.
Addicts.
They, They say some shit like they gotta help themselves,
but I should've fuckin' handcuffed
that motherfucker to the desk.
You knew he was using?
How could you not?
Because I never fuckin' saw him,
I never fuckin' talked to him.
He wouldn't take my calls.
He wouldn't let me work in the restaurant.
I should've done more.
What could you do?
I don't fuckin' know!
I never thought he was, would f...
You know, he was so loud and...
obnoxious and fuckin'...
hilarious.
You know, he was Mikey Bear.
I thought...
he would pull out of it.
What the fuck? You gotta be fuckin' kidding me.
Hey, get the fuck...
That's enough!
That's fuckin' enough!
Enough! Enough!
Yo.
Fuck.
Any word?
Nothing yet.
We'll let you know the minute he wakes up.
But he's still in the ICU?
Correct.
Uh, what, what happens if he doesn't wake up?
He better wake up.
But I'm saying, what happens if he doesn't?
You'll be looking at manslaughter.
Hold on. Guard? Sir?
Sir? Officer?
Hey.
I need my phone call.
Hey, this is Tiff.
Leave a message after the tone.
Hey.
Sorry, I know it's late.
I just, uh, you know...
I'm just getting off work. It's been a crazy day.
All good, though. Um...
you know, I was just...
I was just thinking about all that shit
that went down with your dad, you know.
And, uh...
how I called him what I called him.
And, uh...
you were right, you know.
That was not okay.
And, uh...
I'm sorry.
Uh...
um, you know, that's pretty much it.
Um...
hope you guys had a good day. Give Eva a big hug.
And, uh... yeah, I'll talk to you later. Okay, good night.
Jerimovich, let's go.
He woke up?
You got lucky. You get charged with Aggravated Assault.
Oh, God, thank you, God.
You're welcome, dickhead.
Yo.
Yo, Carm?
Hey.
Carmen.
- You ready to get outta here? - Yep.
Where'd you get the money for bail?
Used our two-week parachute.
Thank you, Cousin.
All good.
Get Ballbreaker ready, yeah?
You okay?
Yeah.
I'm okay.
You're all I got, Cuz.
Alright.
Carmen!
I'm so sorry, Chef.
I'm happy you're back.
Heard, Chef.
- Yes, Chef. - Carmen.
Wh-What the fuck is this?
What the fuck is that?
This is my station. This is not respect.
No, Chef, that is not respect.
Hey!
Richard, aw, bandito, my little felon.
Argh.
You hooligan.
A souvenir for your troubles.
What? Ew!
Gary, I stand before you a penitent man.
- I can't. - Alright, let's rock.
Do you ever feel sad?
Of course, I do, Neil. But I don't talk about it.
I keep it all inside.
It helps me beat the shit out of people.
I get it.
What time is Syd coming in?
I'm gonna be handling her prep today, Chef.
Ooh. Don't fuck it up.
I'll do my best.
No, but, seriously, though,
if you ever try that shit with me,
I'll fuck your ass up.
Heard, Chef.
Uh, alright, , listen up,
we have the, uh, River North Festival today,
so I want everybody doing a little bit extra.
T, you're gonna do a triple prep, okay?
Marcus, couple extra cakes.
Ebra, double prep for you, please.
And then, uh, Cousin, we're still gonna get a lunch rush,
so I want the front of house locked and loaded please.
- Alright? - Yes, Chef.
Thank you.
- Yo. - Yo.
- 200 pounds. - Great, yeah, thank you.
Hold up, no, no, this is, uh... that's pork. I don't need pork.
I'm just the delivery guy. Take it up with Lu.
Shit!
- Come here. Sweeps! - Carmen.
What the fuck? Are you crazy?
- Yo, hey! - Yo.
- Yo! - Yo.
Yo. Fuck.
You alright?
Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Sorry.
What is this?
I don't know.
Richie, wh-what the fuck is this?
I don't know.
And...
I didn't really wanna give it to you 'cause...
it meant that he was gone.
Um, but, uh...
Stupid.
Oh, fuck me.
Ugh.
Fuck you.
What?
You know, in Somalia, I am grillmaster.
Oh, shut up, you old bitch.
That's sexist.
Who's on family?
I got it today, Chef.
You see this?
Look at this, it's doing that thing.
- Yeah. - Where the streams, they won't join.
I got you. I'm gonna fix this.
- Oh, you got me? - I got you...
-How about this? How about we got you? -You got me?
We're giving you an opportunity to work here,
even prove yourself,
maybe put some money in your pocket.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what?
I saw you got stabbed back there.
Yeah, I did.
It was pretty dope.
Looked pretty cool.
You just got stabbed and then you like walked it off.
And it was kinda... it was pretty tough.
No shit, it was.
Pretty tight. Okay, I'll fix this.
Housekeeping, Chefs.
- Yes, Chef. - Thank you.
- Cousin! - Yo!
Help!
♪ Transport ♪
♪ Motorways and tramlines ♪
Let's go. Let's go.
Let's go!
Ten, twenty.
Yeah.
Yo, stop fuckin' around.
♪ Disappointed people ♪
♪ Clinging onto bottles ♪
Yo, Richie, you can finally get a new CD for your car.
Yeah.
You can finally get, You can finally get a new car.
♪ Let down and hanging around ♪
♪ Crushed like a bug in the ground ♪
Uh...
what's, uh, uh...
Chef!
Syd, quit fuckin' around. Grab a can opener.
♪ Shell smashed, juices flowing ♪
Family style?
Two tops, booths.
♪ Don't get sentimental ♪
Danish design...
tasting menu at the bar.
Window on the side.
- For sandwiches. - Yeah.
♪ Crushed like a bug ♪
Okay.
Show you motherfuckers how it's done.
What do we call it?
♪ Let down and hanging around ♪
♪ Let down and hanging ♪
♪ Let down ♪
Your grandfather died from it?
♪ Let down ♪
♪ You know, you know where you are with ♪
♪ You know where you are with ♪
♪ Floor collapsing, floating ♪
♪ Bouncing back and ♪
♪ One day I am gonna grow wings ♪
♪ A chemical reaction ♪
♪ Hysterical and... ♪