MUSIC: The Sun Always Shines On TV by A-ha
MUSIC FADES IN AND OUT
WOMAN GASPING
WOMAN SOBS
NATASHA: Spain, the mid-80s,
no extradition laws meant it had
become a haven for criminals.
It was the ultimate lawbreakers paradise.
We had it all - the sports car, the villa, the shoulder pads.
Me and Albert bought a hotel with the washed money from the gold,
and started investing in various legitimate property developments.
Sidney got a new identity,
changed his name to Andrew, got himself a reggae bar
and some pedalos.
We were building our future.
We were happy.
All we had to do was keep our heads down and noses clean.
The Baptist and Ronnie were pulling strings,
driving our business investments.
Meaning we could leave the gold secretly stashed away.
I've spoken to the mayor,
and he has confirmed dinner on Friday.
Great, OK. I will get everything ready.
Wow! I'm so excited to meet him.
It only matters to the mayor that this is a profitable venture.
Yes.
But he seems intrigued about the idea of a... water park.
I'm not sure he knows what it is. He'll be down there every day
wanking under his fucking beach towel, dirty old pervert.
Well, as long as he pays his entrance fee.
Oh, he's not a nonce, is he? What is a nonce?
Oh, erm, a nonce is someone who wants to...
Um, it's well, you erm...
Don't worry about it. Uh-huh.
Oh, there's one thing to remember,
there is a pretence that we must uphold, Natasha.
He must not know your background,
the source of your income, so to speak.
That won't be a problem.
No, uh, this ain't my first rodeo, Mr Baptist.
Or bullfight, as they say out here.
N... Yeah.
SYNTH-POP MUSIC PLAYS
You all right, boys? Don't work too hard, yeah?
IN SPANISH:
THEY LAUGH
Right, OK,
so the mayor is coming at eight o'clock on Friday,
so we'll need to make sure that everything is perfect.
Are you gonna do the patatas bravas?
Oh! Mummy's in business mode again, isn't she?
Is someone hungry for potatoes bravas, hey?
Are you finished down there?
You gonna come back up and talk to me? What? What?
Its patatas BRR-avas. I know.
Roll your R's though, cos it's polite.
I know how to do it. Yes, yeah, I am. Potatoes bravas.
BRR! I know. Well, practise.
Ruh. RRR! Ruh! Keep, yeah, practise at it.
I will practise, Tash, OK, fine.
Anyway, I was thinking, erm,
might be nice to have me at the dinner as well.
No, you are helping so much by being back here,
making sure the food is amazing.
Ah, thanks.
I need to show them that I am strong and in charge.
Yes, but it might be nice for them to know that I'm
a little bit in charge as well.
CONDESCENDINGLY: Oh, no!
I could pretend to be the waiter.
That would be so weird, Albert.
OK. Well...
OK. Rraaah. Brrah-vas. Patatas bravas.
REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS
SPEAKING SPANISH - Camila. - Yeah?
See that?
Definition. Wow, you look great.
That's just from lugging around the pedalos over there.
Yeah, very good.
Yeah, it's like a natural workout.
Best shape of my life, to be honest.
You should see some of the looks I'm getting
from the mamacitas on the beach.
One of them was topless,
which I'm... all for.
How do you say, "Do you want to go for a drink?"
Podemos ir a tomar algo?
Que de sida tomato valgo.
Te gustaria ir a tomar algo?
Algo? What's that? That's not tomorrow?
No, no. Cos I'm not free tomorrow.
Don't worry, it's OK. Smile.
Yeah, everything's all good here. Perfect.
Bye.
Oh, hey! Jesus Christ!
Andrew, the main man.
I see you've got the guns out and everything, huh?
Well, thanks for noticing, it's all the pedalo lifting.
How's business?
Oh, really good actually. Yeah, really good.
That's on the house, if you haven't already paid.
In which case, I'll get you a refund immediately.
What's 20% of fuck all, Andrew?
That's rhetorical, isn't it?
Cos that's what I'm getting at the moment,
20% of fuck all.
Now, do I look like the type of bloke that would be happy
with 20% of fuck all?
I'll answer that one. No.
I'm gonna put the word out,
fill this fucking place with chaps and faces.
What do you reckon?
Er, yeah. I mean...
That's interesting.
Good... Good ideas being thrown around.
Or, I dunno,
we could do a sort of version of that
where it's sort of more exclusive,
if you want, maybe, I dunno.
Sort of less people.
Who set you up down here, Andrew?
S... Er, you did, Ron.
That's fucking right.
I did.
And don't you forget it. Do you get me?
Yep.
Good lad.
MICK: How's that ping-pong looking?
Look at that floor, lovely work, you can see your face in that.
Mate, my radio, it's still not working.
Have a look at it, mate.
Hello, Bovril, mate, you all right?
Danny! Dom, you all right?
Cyril. Hiya.
Correspondence from my favourite bit of prison fluff, Dottie.
Have a sniff. Save it.
Ooh! That's nice.
Roses, I could smell roses.
Different. Roses and strawberry jam.
She's made her sandwich when she was writing this.
"Dear Mick..." That's me.
"When we get together again, we will share everything.
"I need to find a way to get my hands on you."
Like, all over me, I suppose,
like my arms and legs but also my penis.
"I am dying to hear from you.
"The sooner, the better."
Get straight on it then, you don't wanna keep her waiting.
"Without you I am nothing."
Yeah, she's keen, that's for sure. Which I like.
Yeah. "Yours, Dottie."
It's quite sexy, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.
Like, I can see everyone here eyeing it through each other's armpits.
Having a little think of it.
That's what I like is depth, you know.
Cos to, to get to my penis,
you've got to go through my heart.
I'm very... I'm a romantic.
I like... romance, I like to be seduced.
It's easy to write filth,
you've gotta write from the heart and also from...
It's a warning.
What do you mean a warning? Who's warning me in here?
It seems like Clive Cornell's put a hit out on you.
He's got someone in here.
Who, who...? Is this you? Is it? Who is this? Who?
Look, maybe we go back
to our cell. Don't make a scene, Mick.
I wanna say something, Cyril.
No, Mick. Cyril, Cyril!
Attention all! Paul, Clarky, stop playing ping-pong, mate.
Put your paddle down.
It's come to my attention that there's about to be
an attempt upon my life, to which I say this.
If you come at Big Mick, you best have had your breakfast.
I'm talking a double gut-buster, cos I'm game.
I'll have it with any one of you.
I'll have it with ten of you at a time!
And to that end, I say this, mate.
If you wanna get at me, mate,
even to get a chance at a stab of the big name,
you need to get through Cyril.
You've gotta get through him first and he's game, mate.
I wouldn't even have it.
He's the one person I'd actually be scared of in here.
And he's on my side, mate!
So, to get through me, you've gotta get through Cyril.
You get through him, you're gonna be exhausted,
and then you've gotta go toe-to-toe with Mick.
And I will knock the cunt out of you.
All right? You get that?
Why'd you have to say that?
Laying down a warning, mate. Very much of the moment.
Almost instantly regretting it.
Eight o'clock is perfect.
And please pass onto the mayor that
we are very much looking forward to it.
Si. Muchas gracias.
THE TWINS GIGGLE
Don't you laugh at Mummy's Spanish!
If tonight goes well,
I'm gonna build you a waterpark with
the biggest slides you've ever seen.
Do you want that? BOTH: Yeah.
And what's yes in Spanish?
BOTH: Si.
Muy bien.
And what's "I love you, Mummy," in Spanish?
BOTH: Te amo, Mummy.
OK, I didn't know that. You little showoffs.
You all right? What the fuck are you wearing?
It's part of my character.
Andrew's into the authentic Jamaican vibes.
Do people in Jamaica wear leather waistcoats?
According to the man in the leather shop, yes.
I need to speak to you about Ronnie.
I need you to have a word with him. Ronnie, why?
He wants to open the bar at night.
He says he's going to bring all the faces.
I don't want "the faces," Nat-Nat.
I want my face away from "the faces" as much as possible.
Sidney, I can't keep fighting all your battles for you.
We're all trying to be something we're not out here.
You need to earn some respect for yourself from others.
Yeah, you're right.
I can't keep running.
Andrew's got to hold his own.
Yes. Andrew, he's a tough guy, ain't he? Yeah.
Used to be a street fighter.
Exactly.
But also you might need to lose
the leather vest if you wanna be taken seriously.
You look like a sex tourist.
What's a sex tourist?
My darling, sweet Dottie.
I hope this letter finds you well,
and smiling and saucy and beautiful.
I have big news. I am being moved to Strangeways Prison.
There have been mutterings of an attempt on my life.
You are the fire in my loins, girl.
You are the reason I enjoy masturbating.
Something like that, you think? Or...?
You... You want me to write all that?
Maybe. What else could I say?
You make every day... that bit brighter.
You see me for who I truly am.
Yeah, I like that. Yeah, put that one.
Yeah? What you said. Yeah?
Yeah, get rid of all that... All the tugging stuff. OK.
Get it written, get that sent off.
We'll have a game of draughts or something like that.
See you in a sec. All right.
CYRIL GASPS
Cyril? Cyril, Cyril, Cyril!
Cyril, stay with me, mate.
Guard! I blame myself, mate.
I partly blame myself.
I shouldn't have brought you into this, Cyril.
Guard! He's... Someone's got to him.
Someone fucking stabbed Cyril, mate.
You all right, boy?
Cyril? Cyril, love? Cyril, darling? Cyril?
MUSIC: Love And Pride by King
What are you doing here?
What's it look like I'm doing here? I'm on me holidays.
Well, that's very nice but...
there's plenty of other places you could be having a drink.
But then I'd have to pay for it, wouldn't I, son?
Yeah, well, you'll have to pay
for that here as well, you know that.
Let me give you a friendly warning, Albert.
Cos you and I go way back now.
Out here...
you're out of your depth.
A fanpot like you won't last five minutes.
Do you understand?
I suggest you take the cell and not the grave.
Well, actually, erm,
I'm not gonna take the cell or the grave,
because I'm, I'm gonna take my hotel and,
and my beautiful family, and we'll...
And have a happy life with our hotel, actually.
And I'm not a fanpot, by the way.
And I'm gonna take your beer
now, because... SAUNDERS SLAMS HIS HAND DOWN
BUZZER SOUNDS
SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS
All right, Dave, mate.
I see Chelsea won again.
You're doing all right, mate.
You could, you could win the league this year, Dave.
Outside the gates, is it all right?
OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS
Here we are. Best table in the house.
Shall I get us a bottle of wine?
Vino tinto or vino blanco?
What would you prefer, Alcalde?
Champagne.
Si. De nada. No problemo.
SHE LAUGHS
Excuse me, por favor.
Albert, Saunders is here.
Yeah, I know. I was gonna see what you thought we should do.
Waiting to see what I thought we should do?
Well, I'm not exactly gonna invite him in for nibbles, am I?
You need to get rid of him.
No, no, cos he might arrest me.
No, he can't arrest you. He's got no power out here.
Oh, perfect then. Maybe we just leave it and see how it pans out,
cos if he can't do anything and...
What if he starts mouthing off in front of the mayor?
It'll ruin everything. You said you wanted to help.
Yeah, I did. And you said I was
helping with the potatas brav-bravas.
Just get rid of him.
HE SIGHS Fuck's sake!
Patatas bravas.
Lo siento. Perdon.
IN SPANISH:
Si... Si, claro.
Si, si, por supuesto.
Piscina. Swimming pool. Claro.
Look, we are aware that you have strong connections to
the water company...
Don't, you can continue in Spanish,
I'm following, I'm following.
Our business model forecasts
a 30% operating profit margin, year one,
40% year two...
OK, are we continuing in English? Yeah?
Plus, you will receive a gesture of
good will at the end of every month.
Which will be money.
Dinero.
♪ Woman can't you see... ♪ We've all had a great time,
it's just that we don't have tabs, mate,
so we do, do need to settle up.
I told, I told you, I'm good for it, son.
I know, but... Don't worry, man, I'll fucking sort you later on.
I'll be a lot less worried if you just sorted it now.
I've got money falling out of my arse, son.
I'm not seeing any falling out your arse right now, mate.
I'll sort you. Well, I'm afraid that's not the way of the...
The policy of the bar, so we... Come on! Do nae be...
Silly cunt slap, silly cunt bash, silly cunt slap.
Do ya know what I mean?
I'll see you next Tuesday... Is there a problem?
There's no problem, I'm fucking leaving.
Yeah, but technically he hasn't paid. So, I'm trying to...
I've told ya I'm fucking good. What the fuck is your problem?
Get on your fucking knees. There's no need for violence.
Get on your fucking knees! THE MAN GROANS IN PAIN
Yep. Tell him who you are.
I'm Andrew... Andrew Canesten.
He's one of my boys.
I'm sorry, Ronnie, man. I'm sorry, pal.
Right, tell him who owns this place.
All right, yeah, erm...
This is my bar! And I will not...!
I will not... stand for this behaviour, all right?
Kick him in the face.
Kick him in the face? Please, Ronnie, mate.
I didn't fucking know. Shut the fuck up!
Right, kick him in the face.
You know, it's half your bar, so if you wanted
to kick him in the face... Kick him... in the face!
Ah, do you know,
normally I would, Ron, but I'm wearing sandals.
Right.
RONNIE SCREAMS
Very nice. And then I'll just...
So... He'll wake up with sand in his eyes.
Don't you ever fuckin' embarrass me like that again.
Right? Yep.
What are you fucking looking at?
Oh, there you are. I wanted to find you,
cos I didn't want to have to do this in front of everyone in there
and make a massive scene.
But I'm gonna need you to take your leave,
cos I've had just about enough of you for one night.
Is that right?
Yeah, it is right. It's...
What the hell are you doing here anyway?
What do you think I'm doing here, Albert?
Hm? You really thought that you could just run off
to Spain and that's it?
You're even thicker than I gave you credit for, son.
We both know that you stole the gold.
And I'm gonna fucking get you for it.
Well, I'm sorry to break this to you, mate,
but you can't fucking touch us out here.
You wanna bet?
Do you wanna bet, more like, was gonna be my question
to you. Do you... Cos I'll... I love betting.
I bet till the cows come home. And then...
And I can do it all night
and then back into the daytime again.
And guess what?
The cows will come back out and I'll still be betting.
Well, come on, then... Oh...
big man. Put your hand there, let's have a bet.
Go on, then, bet me. I'm not scared, I'll bet you...
Ow!
You can't do that!
Then report me, you mug.
Do you know who you're doing business with? Eh, amigos?
They're on the run.
Uh...!
Oh, sorry about that.
Everyone all right for drinks? All sorted.
NERVOUS WHISPER: What the fuck?
Erm, bloody... Brits abroad.
What was he talking about?
Oh, he's, erm, he's a bit mental.
Es muy loco. SHE LAUGHS
Had a few too many drinks, methink. And who, are you?
I'm... I'm the waiter.
And where did you say your got your money from?
Erm...
I masterminded the biggest gold robbery of all time.
THEY LAUGH
Ah, funny girl!
LAUGHING: Where did I get my money from?
No, no, I'll tell ya,
I married an old, rich man,
and then when he died, he left me everything.
LAUGHING: It's like my wife!
Women!
What?
Si?
NATASHA CHUCKLES
TYRES SCREECH, LOUD CRASH
MAN OUTSIDE: Hands where I can fuckin' see 'em!
You, get out. Hurry up, let's go! Hands where I can see 'em...
Don't get out, mate. Don't get out!
Stay in the car, he can't hurt you in the car.
On your knees! Hands on your heads!
Oi, mate! He's got kids.
Get out! Go!
You, on your knees. Gimme the keys.
You, who's got the keys?
Don't fucking look at me.
Hurry up! Let's fucking go! Quick!
Don't shoot me, all right? I'll do anything, mate.
I'll be your slave. Listen to me, listen,
I'll give you anything you need, mate.
Whatever they're paying you, I'll double it, mate.
I've got gold. Gold, mate.
What? Let's go.
Nah.
It can't be.
Phil? Is that you, Phil?
Yeah, obviously.
I thought you was dead.
Can't kill me, mate. I'm bullet proof.
Well, actually the bullet proof vest,
turns out, it was bullet proof.
Come on, shut your noise.
All right, all right.
Let's save the emotional reunion stuff till later.
I've got so much to tell you.
Do you wanna stand up? It's weird. Yeah?
I know where we can go.
I've been writing to this beautiful little sort.
My prison fluff.
Now, she's got a place just over near Rotherhithe.
We can get down there, hide out, keep our heads down.
Dottie?
How do you know her name's Dottie?
I am Dottie. That's how I knew you was moving prison.
You're Dottie? Yeah.
I've been corresponding with Dottie for months.
Explicit, erotic letters.
That's you? You're saying that's you?
It was me and I was writing it in code.
The whole point of a code is everyone knows the code.
You can't make up a code and expect people to know a code's a code!
This ain't the time, we've gotta go. No, this is the time.
We're having this and we're having it...
You've been playing with my emotions, mate.
What about the pictures? Well, it's just angles.
Angles? What was that, the crease of your knee?
How'd you do that?
How'd you make that look like a vagina then?
I tucked it back. What, your willy? Mate, we've gotta go now.
You, you've got some explaining to do. I've had a wank over you.
Anyway, let's go get our gold.
Viva... Espana.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
MUSIC: Sembre Una Esperanza by Enrique Morente
Subtitles by Red Bee Media