Previously on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City"...
-Hello! -Aah!
-Oh, look at you. -Oh, my God. Mary Cosby?
Here I am.
-Is this a hologram? -Hi.
-Classic Lisa. -[singsongy] Banana bread.
I tell her she can invite a friend,
and she brings the one friend that spread the worst rumors
about me the last time we were together.
-Oh, my God. -You look gorgeous.
I met Monica through Jen Shah.
-Does John cook? -John's an amazing cook.
That's a privilege. I have to cook, so you're lucky.
***
Whitney says this whole thing
about how Seth and I taking a bath is creepy.
Don't come after my bathtub.
That was a funny joke, Meredith.
No, it was a dig on my marriage and a dig on my bathtub.
-It's not a dig on that. -Like, I have a dirty house.
***
LISA: I'm on a mission to serve Lisa,
and I love that for myself.
HEATHER: I own a beauty empire,
so I don't need any of your lip service.
MONICA: I keep my friends close but my secrets closer.
MEREDITH: In a town full of dirty lies,
everyone can use a bath.
ANGIE: I may be Greek,
but don't expect an olive branch from me.
WHITNEY: Having faith in myself is the only religion I need.
***
[birds chirping]
***
-Hey, Mer. -How are you?
-Oh, you have drinks. -I brought you a little...
Oh, my gosh. Thank you.
[kisses]
-How are you? -I'm good.
Okay. I thought we were going for a walk.
-Well, these are walking shoes. -Yeah. [laughs]
I can walk in them. [laughs]
Meredith and I have not, in two years,
had a one-on-one, productive conversation at all.
How are the kids?
Good. I have two seniors-- senior in elementary school...
-Oh, gotcha. -...senior in high school.
I mean, I'm walking this path with Meredith,
and all I see are hazard signs.
So, yeah, I'm definitely gonna be cautious moving forward.
I've got a graduation coming up, too.
Oh, Chloe. Oh, my gosh. Is she excited?
-She's really excited. -Aw.
I'm a little bit ambivalent about seeing her right now
because I know that I want to make an attempt
at a fresh start with Lisa.
I just would like to set us up for success rather than failure,
and I'm thinking maybe we could sit down one on one,
not in the group, and have a little conversation.
But I don't want anything that happens today
to damage my ability to make that fresh start.
But I guess I have to see her in order to start the process.
What's going on with the, uh, college search?
Um, it's...changed.
Um...
Jack...is, um...
he's deferring, and-- -Oh.
Yeah, Jack's gonna defer,
and he's gonna serve a mission for our church.
-No way. -Yeah. So, he's--
-Does he know where? -No.
-How does that work? -Literally, he can go anywhere.
He could go to Idaho.
He could go to Southern California.
-But they pick. -They pick where you're going.
His friend--he was just at a re--
I guess it's kind of like a reveal last night
where he got where he's getting called.
So, one's going to Switzerland.
Another friend just got called to Milan.
And I'm like, oh, my gosh, that would be amazing.
And Jack's like, "Mom, it's not a shopping trip."
[laughter]
-Not for him. -No.
-But for you, maybe. -[laughter]
Well, anyway, I wanted to have a chance
to chat one-on-one because I feel like
over the last few years, we've had trouble.
-You speculated. -I did not speculate.
-Don't lie! -You're the ----ing liar!
Well, I used to feel like I was a safe space for you,
and I'm sorry. -You are not a safe space, Lisa.
I had one bad moment in our whole friendship
and you're like, yeah. -No, it's not one,
and don't go there. -Whatever.
[mockingly] Don't go there.
We've had this long relationship,
and I think we've both made mistakes.
I think we both have regrets. I think we both
are sorry for things we have done, said, whatever.
I feel like it's been really dark for the last little bit,
and I-I don't like the way that feels, and I want progression.
I don't want to, like, go backwards in things,
in situations, especially with friendships.
I grew up in New York. I'm not a very trusting person.
If I were to list in order the people I trust,
it would definitely be anyone that signed an NDA,
um, my husband,
all of our lawyers, because they are bound by law.
But with Meredith, I think I'm gonna make an exception.
We have a lot of years behind us.
I'm not gonna go backwards. I'm gonna look forward
and put my blinders on.
I'm like a thoroughbred in a race
and just try not to see everything on the sides of me.
You know, I'm very sorry about my hot mic moment.
Like, I know my words hurt you, and it made me feel horrible.
I don't want to hurt you or your family ever.
I'm sorry that I, uh, made reference to rumors
being out there about you.
I should have just left them alone, so I apologize.
Yeah.
-There's room always for growth. -Mm-hmm.
And, you know, I just--
I mean, I miss having, like, our families together...
-Mm-hmm. -...and doing fun things.
-Oh, my God. -No way.
-I'm in your signature. -Great minds think alike.
Hi, gorgeous. Mm.
-Oh, my gosh. I'm loving this. -You look beautiful.
Thank you.
Look at this and this! I love it.
I'm gonna cry.
Don't cry 'cause then you're gonna make me cry.
Oh, my God.
You know, it's nice to walk in a room,
and you're like, uh, those are my friends, you know?
-Yeah. -And I've--I've missed that
over the last couple years. You know, a lot's changed,
and I don't expect it to ever be the same.
I don't think it can be the same.
-You can't go backwards. -You can't.
-And nor do we want to. -No.
-Let's be honest, right? -No.
I think we can just hope for the best moving forward.
-Yeah. -You know?
-Give me a hug. -[laughs] Keep me warm.
-Like, I'm freezing. [laughs] -Yeah.
***
-Hi. -Hi. How are ya?
-Good. How are you? -Good.
I love this place. I'm so excited.
I have a friend meeting me.
***
-Hello! -Hi.
-Are we going to the water park?
-Have you ever been here? Yes! -In the winter?
It's like a water park, but it's a natural water park.
It's right up our alley. You're gonna love it.
It's been a very long time
since Heather and I have spent time alone together.
Oh, this is our private tub.
It's kind of like relearning how to ride a bike, maybe.
Like, it's a little wobbly.
Is it hot, hot, hot?
-Whoo! Yeah. -Oh!
'Cause the last time we went to a hot springs,
she didn't have my back when Jen threatened to drown me.
Trusted you guys as my ----ing friends,
and, Whitney, ----ing roll your mother----ing eyes
and look over there one more time, I will drown you, bitch.
But never say never. Jen's gone.
-But it feels good. -So good.
-Taste the water. -Mnh-mnh.
No. It's kind of fascinating.
I accidentally got some in my mouth, and now I can't stop.
-I'm not tasting water. -It's like buttered popcorn.
It's butter popcorn?
That was just a reference.
Jelly beans can be buttered popcorn, too.
I actually take, like, Epsom salt baths.
So, now we get to decompress
from the fresh powder, fresh start.
How did you feel your event went?
-Were you happy with it? -I thought the brunch was fun.
I mean, I just wanted everybody to drink and mingle, you know?
And I was shocked to see Mary.
When did you become friends with Mary?
The only people I invited were you, Lisa, and Meredith,
and you guys all invited friends.
Oh, so you--'cause I was surprised to be Angie K. there.
-You didn't invite her? -No, I didn't invite her. No.
Do you mind me asking why not Angie? I don't understand.
But we've never been close, you know?
We've never had, like, a long-term friendship.
I've known Angie since Mr. Carter's math class
in 10th grade.
She had what I thought was naturally curly hair.
Turns out it was a perm.
So, yeah, I have trust issues.
I just--It left a bad taste in my mouth
watching, um, her dive headfirst
in that friendship with Jen.
We were friends in high school.
Like, we had two very distinct friend groups.
You know, I had a very Mormon friend group,
and she had, like, the Greeks, and we shared best friends.
Then I felt like she flip-flopped immediately,
and now she's diving headfirst into a relationship with Lisa,
and that feels very muddy and messy to me.
I do remember that she won Best Sense of Humor.
You know, I always feel bad for the girls
that peak in high school.
I actually really like her. I have a lot of fun with her.
She's a fun friend for me.
I think that she is fun until she's...not.
But I kind of was eavesdropping,
and I heard Angie asking Lisa about Jack's mission.
Jack just told us he's going on a mission like a month ago.
-Oh! -Aw!
Have you told Heather?
-No. -No?
-Nope. -I also told Lisa--
That's, like, not for everybody.
So, have you known about it for a while? It didn't--
I just found out.
Weird to me.
I'd just be curious to know what his motivation was.
For me, I literally went on my mission
because my friend Diane was, like,
at the same point in her life.
She was graduating college. Neither of us had boyfriends.
And she's like, "I'll go if you go," and we went.
And then the next thing we know,
we were in the temple making death oaths,
and we were wearing garments for the rest of our lives.
-College graduate-- -When you say "death oath,"
are you-- what do you mean by that?
Like, where you say, I'll, you know... [clicks teeth]
Oh, okay.
Lisa loves to tell people she's Mormon,
but I don't see any Mormon coming from Lisa Barlow.
All the Mormons I know wear their garments,
go to the temple, pay their tithing,
abstain from coffee, tea, alcohol, and cigarettes.
[laughs] She owns a tequila company.
She drinks Lisatinis and has signature cocktails.
They're actually morally opposed to it,
and Jack is going to be teaching that brand of Mormonism.
What I don't think she's prepared for
is who he might be when he comes home,
and I think she's in for a rude awakening.
It was like hard, knuckle-breaking work,
like you are knocking on doors, selling
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
That's all it is. You're a door-to-door salesman.
This seems like a big conflict. I--
I'm sure it is conflicting for her.
-Well, it's-- -I don't know.
I don't wanna speak for their-- on behalf of their family.
I'm not their, like, spokesperson, but...
It's a terrible idea for Heather to insert herself
into Lisa's son's life choices, especially regarding religion.
The last thing I want to do is, like, ruffle feathers,
but isn't that pretty orthodox? -I don't know. I, like...
-None of that came up? -You're gonna have--
Yeah. You're gonna have to ask Lisa. I was just supportive.
Like, just because she wrote a book
doesn't give her the right to tell other people how to do it.
That seems like something that Lisa, as a mom,
would not be supportive of.
***
Coming up...
I went to high school with Angie K.
We're not close at all.
I hope she's not coming to Palm Springs.
Meredith said she wasn't inviting her.
Imagine Meredith's face when she sees me.
The one person that you didn't want here is here.
***
SETH: Mer!
-[singsongy] Yeah? -Oh, you're home?
-Yeah. -I came out earlier.
I had a little break, and you're no we're to--
nowhereto be found.
How are you?
I'm good. I see you've started already.
Yeah, it was happy hour.
Everything with Seth is fantastic.
He's spending a lot more time with me.
-[ice cubes rattle] -What are you doing?
I'm giving you some.
This is the oddest thing. All right.
Could you get me, like, a regular glass?
-No, I'm giving you some-- -I don't want a shot glass.
-Sip it. -Obviously, nothing is perfect.
This is very odd.
I mean, I--there are times where I say,
can you please just be quiet for five minutes? [laughs]
Okay, whatever.
It's a Meredith Marks shot glass.
I'm well aware, but I wouldn't normally do this.
Seth and I have been through a lot of ups and downs
over 30 years.
We have been through the wringer,
and now we're happier than ever.
So, we've decided to start a podcast about relationships.
We sort of wanted to figure out a way
that we could help other people.
Well, I think the purpose of the relationship
of this podcast from my--
We're going to have 20- to 30-minute episodes.
We don't want them to be too long.
People can't see us.
-It's a podcast. -Okay, but I can see you.
'Cause I feel like we could end up in a massive fight.
You have something hanging out of your nose.
-No one knows, though. -I do.
-Pick it, then. -I don't want to. You pick it.
Pick it. If we're not hanging by a thread,
you will pick my nose for me. -Okay, let's move on.
You can deal with your nose or not. It's up to you.
Is it gone? Oh, I just saw. I think it was an onion.
-Ew. -The onions from the caviar
got everywhere. I don't know how.
What are you looking at? Building a dollhouse?
So, do you remember Trixie?
You met her at GLAAD. She's, like, major, major drag queen.
-Yeah. -Trixie invited me
to the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs.
SETH: That's amazing. That's a real thing?
Yes. And I thought coming off of Heather's event last week
with all the, you know, fresh starts,
I think it could be interesting to invite the girls.
Question is, who are you going to invite?
Well, for sure Heather and Mary. That's easy.
-Lisa and Whitney. Well-- -So you're gonna invite Lisa?
Um, yeah.
Remember, I-I asked her to talk.
Wow.
We just needed to really sit down one-on-one and just,
you know, move forward. -So, you're doing--
-So, I am having Lisa come. -Nice.
I think I wanna invite this new woman, Monica,
who was at Heather's event last week
because she was, like, lively.
[laughs]
-Yeah. -She seems cool.
I feel like this is just, like, such a vibe,
and it could be a really good place
for everyone to kind of just...
-Yeah. -...go low-key, reconnect.
Like, hopefully, we have fun.
Hopefully, I don't have to lock everyone in their room...
...for bad behavior.
[laughs]
***
All right, Celia, you ready to do some jumping?
Come on.
Yes! Oh, that was a cute one.
How's she doing?
-Come on, come on! Oh, God. -ANGIE: She'll do it.
-You just got to warm her up. -Come on.
-It looks like Faust is, uh... -ELEKTRA: Faust is jealous.
-Look. -He's--He's jealous.
-He's ready to go. -He's feeling left out.
-Yeah. -Okay.
***
ELEKTRA: I'm hungry. Can I eat the yogurt?
ANGIE: You should eat that until this salad's done.
So, what is our... [rolls "R"] Greek...
-Greek word of the day. -Greek word of the day?
How do we say "yogurt"?
-Giaoúrti. -Oh, my gosh.
-You are getting so... -Aah!
...good at this. You are so Greek.
-If you roll your R's... -[trills]
-Yeah. Do it again. -[trills]
Yes! Dad, let's hear you.
-[trills] -[laughter]
So, I started assisting in a hair salon
when I was 19 years old.
I see this hot guy with huge muscles blow-drying hair,
and I thought, I got to get to know this guy.
Good-looking, muscles. and he could do my hair?
-[bell dings] -It was love at first sight.
How's my salad?
-Awesome. -It's really, really good.
30 years later, here we are.
-We've got snacks here. -Come on through.
I don't want the boss to fire me,
so I wanna look busy.
Shawn, how am I doing? Do I still have a job?
You're doing great, honey. Perfect.
We own 10 salons, a cosmetology school,
and we've got our beautiful little daughter,
who is now 12 years old.
I'm really gonna put a lot of garlic in this.
Don't put too much, though.
-Got it. -Who is the cook here?
If I had to rate my life in order of importance,
number one, of course, is my daughter Elektra,
number two is our businesses,
and number three, well, my poor husband Shawn.
Like, I mean, it's funny 'cause, like, in the back of my mind,
I'm like, oh, he'll always be there.
Oh, he can wait. You know, he's not going anywhere.
Let's hope he's smart enough to know that, you know,
if he sticks around long enough,
he'll be back in the front seat again one day soon.
-I'm full. -Okay.
-All right, bye-bye. -Bye.
Have a s-- Now it's time for you to eat.
Okay.
Come on over.
[chuckles] Come to Daddy.
When I say that, it doesn't usually work, but...
But I am gonna take a rest now, so I will come sit down.
I have all of her favorite f--
-[cellphone rings] -Oh, Lisa Barlow.
Okay.
-It's fine. I can call her back. -Well, now you can eat.
Oh, my gosh, this looks so good. Was it good?
-It was actually-- -Over salted?
-Not at all. -Perfect?
-It's perfect. Yeah. -Mmm.
Well, It has been kind of strange not hearing you...
I know.
I've actually had a little more time on my hands.
-Yeah. -She doesn't have
too much more time until Jack goes away,
so I think she's kind of, you know,
he's heading on a mission. -I think it's great.
And I'm just trying to give her a little space.
Have you talked to Heather?
I haven't really seen or talked to her since her brunch.
Yeah.
Aah!
I felt that! What is going on?
This, like, Chihuahua is following me.
Things have been odd with us,
and I feel bad about that.
It's in poor taste to host a dinner
where you stir up trouble right before it starts.
Heather, you know what made me uncomfortable today?
You guys are friends with Lisa,
and you're talking about her in the car.
You were talking sh-- about her.
I didn't pour champagne on your head.
I wouldn't pour champagne on your head.
But it was fun to watch it happening.
And I've never poured champagne on your head.
It was fun to watch it happening.
If you want to crucify me for
saying it was a fun bitch move, you're gonna have...
Well, it's very apparent that you don't like me, Heather...
...a really hard time surviving on this couch.
...or you wouldn't have found this funny one bit.
You know, I'd like to move forward
and not have that...
awkward energy between us. -Yeah.
I've known Heather since high school.
She was 15 years old when she moved here,
and I was one of the first people that she met.
She was, like, a really good student, you know?
And I was, like, not. I was more wild.
That's what's so funny.
We both were funny, witty, sarcastic,
and that's how we really connected.
We had a lot of fun together,
and we've gotten far away from that.
And I would love to get back to that place with Heather
and have her realize that I'm still that same person.
I'm kind of hoping that we can all move forward.
I-I'm confident that you're gonna be able to.
I mean, it just makes sense, you know?
The thing is, I want it to be authentic.
-You know, I don't want to... -Of course.
...just have it be this surface, like...
-No, right. -..."No, everything's fine.
You're fine. I'm fine," but then, you know,
what's going on behind?
Well, the problem with that is you can't trust
the next time you see it either. -Exactly.
Sometimes it's nice to hit the restart button.
I mean, we're all mature enough
to realize that things come between people,
but we can move forward, and--
Well, yeah, you can have disagreements
but still kind of come back around
and be able to move forward.
Because the way I see it, from the outside looking in,
nothing detrimental has really happened.
-Mm-hmm. -Right?
Nothing that you can't push through.
-Yeah, I hope so. -Yeah.
Coming up...
I went into the Louis Vuitton store.
Yeah.
[voice breaking] And, like, I bought a bag,
because I just feel like... [sniffles]
***
Okay, honey, how many orders do I have to help you with?
So, today I only need to do 30.
Okay. I'm gonna be very helpful.
You literally have not folded one swaddle.
I'll--I'll get to it.
-How's Nanna? -Um, she's good.
She's actually been super sweet.
-Oh. [laughs] That's... -Yeah. She's--She's actually...
Well, no, just... high-maintenance.
That's where you get it from.
I am 50% Colombian, 50% Portuguesa,
and it really shaped who I am now.
-Feisty, feisty, feisty. -[bell dings]
I just want help. Okay. I'll be a good girl.
I was born in Boston, and I actually ended up
in Salt Lake City, Utah, 10 years ago.
And then my mom quickly followed after me
and moved to Utah as well.
And now I currently live
three minutes to my grandmother and my mom.
-[knock on door] -Oh, go get the door.
And it's actually turned out to be the best blessing,
because my four girls are able to
know their Portuguese great-grandmother.
-Don't bring up Boston. -Why?!
Oh, she gets so depressed.
-Oh, my gosh, Mom. -Don't like too loud.
-You can talk nice and soft. -Sorry, Nanna.
Blah, blah, blah, blah! No!
-Someone take the knife. -[laughter]
We're all just one big, crazy, dysfunctional Portagee family.
[speaking Portuguese]
-Amen. -Amen.
My mother actually converted
to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
when I was 5 years old.
I was raised through the Mormon church,
but I definitely struggle with my entire Mormon experience.
Is it good, Kendall?
She's eating cake. Who put the desserts out first?
Mom, come on.
Are you gonna, like, get to work or what?
Yes. Yes. What do you want me to do?
Okay, so grab a swaddle, shake 'em out,
and then I roll 'em up, and I tie 'em with ribbon.
Look, you fold it like this and then like this.
-Long, long. -Yeah.
-Long, long, short, short. -And then in half,
And then you roll it.
During my marriage, I never really had to worry
about anything because I had a spouse completely support me.
[speaking Portuguese]
And I started a company called Brea Baby
selling baby swaddles, blankets, crib sheets.
At first, it started as kind of a hobby,
and now that I am going through a divorce,
it has completely turned into a lifeline
for me and my daughters because I don't have
the same resources that I had while being married.
I'm starting from scratch all over again.
-Hi! -[speaks Portuguese]
-You're so pretty. -Oh, thank you.
Mwah. Mwah. [speaks Portuguese] How are you?
-Good. How are you? -Good?
-Doesn't she look so big? -Yes, she's get--
I think she's taller than me now.
-My baby! -Are you taller than Vovónow?
-I think so. -Let's give this to Bri to do.
Don't worry. You can get back to painting your nails now.
-Oh, they're done. -[laughs]
Wait, Mom, how do you do this again?
What?! Are you guys...
Well, we paid the neighbor kids to do this.
No, you have helped me fold these from the jump. Stop.
Yeah, but it's been a minute, Mom.
I'm on my own with this sh--. People are useless.
Okay, so I have to tell you something.
-Oh, jeez. -No! It's really good.
But the real reason why I asked you over here--
[speaks Portuguese]
I'm not pregnant.
You have to have sex in order to get pregnant.
Last time I checked. It's been a minute,
but last time I checked. -Yeah.
Um, I am going on a girls trip.
-Where are you going? -Palm Springs.
Okay, so I need your help with the kids.
-How long are you gonna be gone? -Just, like, three days.
[scoffs]
I'm good for two hours,
and then my head starts to swell.
So, she goes to school at 7:30.
You're gonna need to write all this down for her, okay?
-Jaden is at 8:10. -Oh, bloody hell.
Do I need to be here after she leaves for school?
-Yes. That's what I'm saying. -At 7 in the morning?
Yeah. [laughs]
I really have never gone on a girls trip.
But, like, I'm going with a bunch of girls
that I don't really know, and I'm, like, so nervous.
I'm also a little out of my league.
-In terms of? -[clicks teeth]
Like, I went to City Creek,
and I went into the Louis Vuitton store.
Yeah.
[voice breaking] And, like, I bought a bag
because I just feel like... [sniffles]
I want to have something, like, nice around them,
and I just don't want to, like...
show up with, like, nothing. Like...
I know--I know what you mean. I do.
And I even hate that I feel like that.
It's so stupid. [sniffles] Like, I...
Why do I feel like I'm-- That's not me.
I'm not that person. I don't care.
It's normal to feel like that, but you shouldn't.
Because you have so many other qualities.
Like, you shouldn't be
basing your worth off of how much money you have.
I know, and I've never felt like that.
I feel like youalways taught me that.
I did.
You had to do it all on your own.
My mom--she was a single mother.
The last time I saw my father was when I was 4,
and he and my mother got into a huge fight,
and he walked out the door and never walked back in.
And I don't even know what my dad looks like.
My mom got rid of all his photos.
I don't know if he's dead. I don't know if he's alive.
I don't know if I have siblings. I don't know.
All I know is that he was gay, and he had a boyfriend
and he moved to Florida,
and that's the last time we saw him.
You feel like you have to compete?
Not compete. I just feel like... [sniffles]
I don't want them to make fun of me for having a smaller house,
for not having as a six--
Like, I'm making my packaging myself, you know? [sniffles]
You've done far better than I, my love.
You got married. You had a bunch of kids.
You're so far ahead of the curve for our family, right?
You be you-- funny, smart, and gorgeous.
***
Coming up...
I had no idea you were Mormon.
***
Thank you.
HOSTESS: Hi there.
We have a party of four. My name's Whitney.
So, I can show you to your table if you wanna follow me.
WHITNEY: Thank you.
***
-Hey. -Hey, friends.
-Oh, hi. -How are you?
-Oh, wow, stunner. -You look gorgeous. Well...
Just over the summer, Angie and I
started reaching out to each other, talking,
and feels like our lives align.
-Good to see you, man. -So good to see you, too.
Angie and Shawn are such a great couple.
Our kids love each other. In fact, we joke that we want
to arrange a marriage between Elektra and Brooks.
That's like the next step in a friendship level, right?
We do not go out enough,
and tonight I looked over at Shawn,
and I thought, oh, he looks really handsome.
And well, I probably haven't told him that in 11 years
because we just don't get out together,
so glad we're here. -Well, thank you.
Hi. Can I offer you anything to drink to start with tonight?
Have you ever had the Justin Cabernet?
Yes. Let's do a bottle.
Yeah, perfect. I'll get that started.
-Thank you. -Thanks, guys.
I'm representing with my...
-WHITNEY: I saw that. -...necklace.
-Looks so good on you. -Oh, thank you. I love it.
-What are you wearing? -I'm representing
with my crystals. That helps me communicate
because Lord knows I need the help.
-Uh-huh. -So we've been through,
like, a lot of transitions, right,
of me starting the business, him losing his job,
me going through, unpacking trauma.
So, we realized that we're not very good communicators.
-Like, we're, uh-- -Wow.
Did you throw yourself into that?
-Yes. -That's a first.
That surprises me about you two.
That's part of the communication process, right?
And I'll think that I told him stuff, but I never did.
-Like, I wrote it on paper. -I can't believe that
you're actually saying this to our friends.
Yeah, well, it's our communication crystal.
Well, see, the crystal is working for both of you.
-Yeah. -It really is.
I think over the years, that can happen to everyone
because your business takes over,
your kids take over your life.
When you guys start doing things and you start developing
your own careers and things like that,
and I think that can make things very, very difficult.
You know, you wake up one day,
and you're like, "Where's... where's my spouse?"
***
"I don't really know them today," you know, so...
He wakes up one day,
and he's sleeping next to an 11-year-old,
and then I'm on the other end of the bed,
and that--that's where I am because she sleeps in our bed.
-Good night. -Good night. [kisses]
It's just the three of us now.
That's, like, sort of your couple time
when your kids go to bed, but then she's right there.
I'm stopping myself from wondering
when or where they have sex, and I really don't want to be
thinking about that because that is none of my business.
I'll drop in with this steak here.
-Oh, wow. -Oh, thank you.
Got a little order envy over here looking at Shawn's.
I'm gonna cheers to everyone here.
And I'm going to cheers to us.
I honest to God love our connection
and, like, our mutual, like, mom connection.
-Cheers to that. -[glasses clink]
-We love you. -Cheers.
Well, I love you guys.
-Would anyone like beet salad? -Yeah. Thank you.
Oh, you guys, I have been in so much pain
since the snowball fight.
It was the most, like, aggressive thing I've ever seen.
***
My hair!
-I-- -Sounds more like a car crash.
-Yes. It was like NFL. -It might be--
I didn't know what hit me.
Although it seemed after Heather gave that speech,
she really wanted to move forward with everyone there,
even though I wasn't quite feeling
that it was directed towards me.
But it's like she was sort of, like,
extending the olive branch to everyone.
Yeah. I'm so excited for the girls trip.
Are you going?
Wait a minute. So, is this all the girls?
I mean, I haven't heard anything about it.
So, Meredith's hosting an-- a girls trip
to Palm Springs, California.
Why wouldn't you be invited?
You know, that's a good question.
I have been nice to Meredith when I've seen her.
I've gone out of my way to say hello.
Well, we've done a lot of things for her.
And, you know, I supported her fashion show.
-I sent people to do the hair. -You did all the hair?
-Yeah. -Yeah. We lost a third
of revenue in one location that day to support that event.
And this is businessman speaking up.
But the point is, is, like, it just was kind of like,
"Thanks for nothing, Angie"
now to, like, see that I'm not being invited.
What I don't get is that Meredith is planning this trip,
and the whole theme of it is let's team build and bond.
So, help me understand how you do that,
but you're excluding someone.
Like, it's really bad energy, and I really don't like it.
So we've got to cleanse this aura and send it away.
It's been my experience that she just kind of
holds on to things and won't let it go.
I mean, I can't say things have been that great
with Meredith and I,
but, like, Heather didn't invite me to her event either.
I had to get invited through Lisa there,
and it's like--it feels like
those two are trying to ice me out because if I'm--
So, I'm inviting you officially.
-Will you come as my plus-one? -There you go.
I do love Palm Springs. I'm not gonna lie.
Okay, so are you gonna come?
You know what? I would love to go as your guest.
We should get you a jump seat as a flight attendant.
If you make the announcement on the plane...
Hold on to your ass, bitches. It's gonna be a turbulent ride.
-[laughs] -Coming up...
LISA: Oh, my God. Does anyone see my ring on the floor?
Does anybody see a ring on the floor?
I am freaking out.
***
-Stop. -Hi. [laughs]
-Excuse-moi,baby. Hi! -Hi.
-So good to see you. -I know. So good to see you.
-My gosh. How have you been? -I've been good.
-You're so busy with the book. -I know.
How are you hanging in there? You are just a...
-I am hanging in. -Oh, my gosh.
We're going on a girls trip to Palm Springs.
Okay.
My friend Monica is meeting me here.
-Okay. -But I get the best stuff.
-Of course. Are you kidding me? -[laughs]
***
-Hi. [gasps] -Hi!
When I heard Meredith had invited Monica to Palm Springs,
she seemed like a lot of fun at the brunch,
and I wanna get to know Monica better.
We need to get, like, stuff for poolside.
-I know! -We need stuff for, like...
going out on the town. -Yeah.
Shopping's a great way to, like, have some fun and bond,
booze, and plan for the trip.
-Colorful and bright. -Need something, like, psssh!
I mean, these girls don't play. They dress up for that stuff.
-I know. It's crazy. -I know.
If Heather's brunch taught me anything,
it's that these ladies will go all out
with their fashion from head to toe.
My style is more of, um... like, spit-up on my shirt
and...probably Goldfish in my hair,
like, leggings, some sneakers.
Like, I'm running late to everything, but I'm trying.
That's my style. [laughs]
I'm gonna help you pack. I'm here to help you.
-Seriously. -Your first girls trip.
-I know. -Plus I know these women.
And I kind of know the dress code.
Yeah, so give me some--give me some tips on that, 'cause...
Well, I'm actually curious.
Like, how are you friends with Lisa?
Okay, so I actually met Lisa through Angie K.
-Oh. -Yeah.
How do you know Angie K.?
I actually met Angie K. a long time ago through Jen,
and we've just been friends ever since.
I went to high school with Angie K.,
so I've known her forever. -Wait, okay. What?
I wanted to kind of look over here at these glammy gowns.
***
-This would be fantastic on you. -Oh, thank you. This is cute.
Wait, so even though you guys went to high school together,
you guys aren't really, like, close, then?
-No, we're not close at all. -Okay.
I don't want really anything to do with her.
I hope she's not coming to Palm Springs.
Meredith said she wasn't inviting her, so I'm hoping.
What?! Okay, I totally uncovered
something that I did not know here.
-Yeah. I don't like her. -Why? What happened?
I think she seems just catty and jealous and...
not anyone that I wanna invest any time with.
I have a lot of clarity in my relationships right now,
and, like, I've made genuine efforts for years and, like,
not interested.
You know, I'm not on the best terms with Angie.
My feelings have been really hurt.
She said horrible things that she knows aren't true.
Guess what? Everybody is saying that perhaps
her and Heather were in their room
doing Barbie scissor kicks
and then Jen beat the sh-- out of her.
What do you mean by Barbie scissor kicks?
They're in the room having a sexual relationship.
Who knows?
And she insinuated that I had sex with Jen,
which she also knows is not true.
-You want a champagne? -Sure.
Okay.
You know, Monica's Angie's friend.
It concerns me a little bit,
but I'm just gonna give Monica the benefit of the doubt.
I don't want her to be guilty by association.
-Cheers. -Cheers, Heather.
-To new friendships. -For real.
-Keeping it real. -Mm-hmm.
So, what's your story?
Are you--Were you raised Mormon?
-Kind of. -Kind of?
-Is there such a thing? -I'm--Yeah.
Is being kind of?
That's how I'm raising my girls.
I'm kind of raising my girls in the Church. [laughs]
-Oh, really? You are? -Kind of.
-So, wait, are you Mormon? -Heather...
We should not have had that champagne.
[laughs] No, we should have.
My mom converted to the Church,
so I was pretty much raised in the Church, but--
I had no idea you were Mormon. Is your--
I was married in the temple, and then I was excommunicated.
For?
For ----ing my brother-in-law for 18 months.
-Okay. -[laughs] Yeah.
***
-I've heard-- -Yeah, you thought
youwere a bad Mormon. -I've heard a lot of excommu--
You thought you were a bad Mormon.
Shut up. Your husband's brother?
So, my husband's sister-- her husband.
[laughs]
So, wait, how did you get caught?
Oh, no, I came out with it. I felt guilty.
I went and saw my bishop.
Told him, "I've been sleeping with my brother-in-law"?
-That's exactly the word-- -Did they excommunicate him?
-No. -Yeah.
They never excommunicate the men.
Girl. Like, genuinely and truly, probably...
[voice breaking] Like...I don't know.
one of the worst experiences of my life because
I really did feel so bad, and I thought coming out with it...
-You'd feel like this... -Yeah.
And really, I just was shunned from everything
and everyone and literally unwelcome everywhere.
And I genuinely felt like I was tagged, like...
-Scarlet Letter. -Yeah.
And just to see him not go through that...
Yeah, and get the complete different...
-Mm-hmm. Treatment. -...treatment,
I feel that for sure. -Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know that much about Heather, but I feel
like she and I have the most similar backgrounds.
I just find for me
and everything I've been through,
it's best to just lay it all out there on the table
because everything always comes out.
And the true power in owning your past and your present
is no one can weaponize it against you, ever.
So, you stopped wearing your garments
when you got excommunicated...
Yes. 'Cause they told you. Yeah.
Yeah, you're not allowed to wear 'em.
I literally that night, the first thing I did was
I left my council and went to Victoria's Secret and bought,
like, 30 thongs for the first time ever in my life.
Because you're like, "Yeah, I'm not gonna wear garments.
I'm gonna wear panties." -Yeah. [laughs]
I know. The first time-- the first time I wore panties,
I borrowed from my daughter 'cause I didn't have any.
-[gasps] Are you serious? -Yeah, I just had biker shorts
that I had worn, like... -Oh, my gosh.
...since I had been my, you know, 21 years old.
Yeah.
***
MEREDITH: This is cute for Palm Springs.
***
Ooh. And then you showed the straps, and I had
to kind of take that back. -[laughter]
What? No, it ties.
I thought that was long sleeves.
It's a swimsuit, honey.
It'd be kind of sick if you, like, swam in a surf suit.
That could be a vibe.
I don't have one.
Okay, well, I'm sure you can find one in Palm Springs.
Don't people surf there?
It's the desert, honey.
***
[line rings]
MAN: Thank you for calling Trixie Motel.
This is Trixie Hotel?
-Motel, yes. -Oh, motel. Sorry.
Um, do you guys have 2003 Don Perignon?
Uh, no.
Okay. And do you have room service?
Yes, we have a full bar.
-And then for our food... -Mm-hmm.
...we have 1-to-2 person shareable pizzas
and, like, cheese boards,
but, like, we don't have, like, a huge menu.
-Okay. Have a great day. -You as well.
***
-Pizza? -[chuckles]
And they don't have Don Perignon.
Okay. Who doesn't have Don Perignon?!
You gotta pray for me, babe.
***
-Packing already? -[singsongy] Packing already.
But look at these.
Would you die?
It's not something Iwould wear.
They look like clown shoes, but I, like,
think they're the coolest thing ever.
[whimpers]
Are you excited to be with everybody?
The last three trips we went on...
Yeah.
...were, like, ----ing "Amityville Horror."
-For both of us. -Yeah, it was awful.
You know, Meredith didn't invite Angie.
I'm super bummed she's not coming,
but I'm not gonna cry on this trip.
I have nothing to cry about, but I think this trip
is gonna be really telling, like, who's actually
having a fresh start and, like, who actually is faking things.
***
Coming up...
They just don't know I'm coming. Surprise!
-[laughs] Okay. -And it's not a bad thing.
-Surprise! -She just wasn't invited.
And I wasn't told I couldn't bring--
***
[jet roaring]
***
-How are you? -How are you?
You look so perfect for Palm Springs.
***
Love you. [smooches]
-This is my daughter Chloe. -Hi.
-Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you. Yeah.
[indistinct P.A. announcement]
-Well, hello, my darling. -Hi.
I guess--
That's why I got a dirty chai with coconut.
-Oh, yeah, let me drink some. -* A little energy *
I'm sitting by you, girl.
Xanies in the Louis.
-Hello! -Hi!
-How are you? -Hey. Good. How are you?
-Good. -Oh, my gosh,
this hour is killing me.
-Is she coming later then? -MEREDITH: I would imagine so.
This is supposed to be
a reconnecting, trust-building trip,
and it's definitely odd and kind of annoying
that Whitney chose to go at a different time on her own.
[roaring]
***
Thank you.
This is amazing.
***
Oh...my...God.
-It's like a dollhouse. -Okay.
I knew it was pink, but I didn't realize everything is pink.
***
-TRIXIE: [singsongy] Hello! -[singsongy] Hello!
-Welcome, welcome, welcome. -It's so gorgeous.
-Isn't it beautiful? -Oh, my God.
-You look so nice. -Trixie, this is
my good friend Angie. -Hi. Nice to meet you.
Hi. You look so pretty.
Thank you so much for having us.
I've known Trixie for quite some time. We've hung out together.
We've collabed together. She was my friend first.
So, it's like, of course I'm gonna come early
to my friend's motel,
and I think it's a funny, cheeky way of marking my territory.
-You look gorgeous. -Well, I gotta compete
with you whores and make you all look 4 feet tall, but...
This is amazing.
Is it a little different than Salt Lake?
-This is a dream come true. -It's all calm.
I have all of your cards on file.
-Well, it's calm for now. -If anything gets broken...
-It's calm for now. -[laughs] Okay.
***
[roaring]
***
LISA: Oh, my God. Does anyone see my ring on the floor?
Does anybody see a ring on the floor?
I am freaking out.
[toilet flushes]
Monica, do you see it? Can you help me?
Oh, my God. Sh--. Sh--.
-[toilet flushes] -Oh, my God.
John is gonna kill me.
You guys, does anybody see a ring on the floor?
[toilet flushes]
Oh, my gosh.
LISA: My ring--it is totally gone.
I am pulling up my jeans,
and I feel my ring start to slip off my finger,
and I felt like I caught it.
And then I looked, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, my ring is missing.
I literally stayed in that bathroom
for at least 45 minutes.
What a sh--ty way to start this trip.
I can't even believe this just happened to me.
I still can't find it.
I'm gonna do a report with security
to see if anybody turns it in.
I'm really upset. It's sentimental.
-It's from John. -Yeah. It's a big deal.
-I'm so sorry. -We looked everywhere.
We had people unlock, like, toilet things.
I hope you didn't wear it and think you did.
-Yeah. no, no, I had it on. -I'm gonna get my suitcase.
-You really did? -Oh, yeah. That's on the plane.
It's 60 G's. It's my big one. The big emerald-cut one.
This is horrible.
It sucks.
I don't know what could have happened because
we all were... searching high and low
in that lovely public restroom.
I don't think that ring was worth that, first off.
I don't think it's worth $60,000.
Someone stole that.
It's at the pawn shop, like Sublime said.
I think it was Colonel Mustard with the plunger
in the third stall from the back.
It's gone. Yeah. Bye.
It's the big one, too.
Okay, let's cross.
Everyone, all the little ducklings in a row.
I'm gonna file a report with security
to see if they're gonna find it.
-We have another cross. -Okay.
-[horn honks] -Oh, thank you.
Oh. I didn't have enough momentum.
-Oh, wow. -It slipped off
and I thought it landed in my jeans.
Not to be gross, but I was, like, going
to pull up my pants. -Yeah.
-And I'm like, I felt it slide. -Oh, in the stall. Okay.
In the stall, and then every woman in there was like,
"Let's find her ring."
-Okay. -Go on, girl.
Go ahead. You need help?
-[sighs] -Made it.
Oh, my gosh.
-[bleep] -Yeah.
-Can you help me pull this off? -Yeah.
Thank you.
-I know. What a workout. -That was, like, your day.
-Are you riding back? -Yeah. I'm so bummed, though.
Like, I got to snap out of it.
I thought the best theory was that bin, because if she
put her hand back, and it wouldn't have made so--
-I reached in there. -She reached in there.
-I went in the tampons, girl. -And they were not--
-It was not there. -No.
-Well... -[laughs]
MONICA: Ah!
***
LISA: I'm, like, so mad at myself right now.
A $60,000 ring literally just disappeared.
***
LISA: Mad about my ring.
Well, at some point, you have to let it go.
-Yeah, I will. It's still fresh. -Kinda.
Lisa's not gonna have any fun. She's gonna dwell on that ring.
I've only lost one other thing ever,
and it was a pair of Chanel sunglasses.
And I still am like, where are they?
This is why they say more money, more problems, girl.
It's hard 'cause it's sentimental, you know?
I-I may not--
I'd feel very sentimental about anything over $10,000.
[laughs]
My dignity.
[chuckles]
I just think that what's in your favor
is that people, even if they saw it,
they would think, "I'm not gonna pick it up."
-It's fake. I feel like that. -It's on a bathroom floor.
Yeah. People would think it's fake.
She's like, it's fake.
MONICA: No, I was thinking people would think.
I'm gonna actually call my jeweler.
Oh, Lord.
I don't have a jeweler. [laughs]
-MARY: Did you have insurance? -LISA: I'm sure it's insured,
but it's the sentiment behind it.
It's like you can't replace it.
***
What the hell?
Like, for real.
I mean, how sentimental can it be if she's already
on the phone with her jeweler to get it replaced?
Gonna have John call 'em.
I had my hand in a toilet in a public restroom!
Such bullsh--.
This is why I don't have $60,000 rings.
-Whatever, Monica. -[laughter]
-You've got pretty rings on. -Yes, but not $60,000.
***
ANGIE: We're gonna be fighting over the rooms.
-Thank God we showed up early. -WHITNEY: Yeah.
But they don't know you're coming.
They just don't know I'm coming. [singsongy] Surprise!
She's--and it's not a bad thing.
-Surprise! -She just wasn't invited,
and I wasn't told I couldn't bring--
It's not a bad thing. She just wasn't invited.
Wasn't invited, and I wasn't told I couldn't bring a guest.
You know what? Drag is illegal in Tennessee,
so I think we should do whatever we want, okay?
-Yes. -I am with you on that.
Given that the theme of this trip is
building trust and, like, bonding...
[singsongy] Oh, another amazing room.
Bringing Angie as a surprise,
I fully am aware that I'm, like, poking the bear.
I'm lighting the match, throwing it in the fire.
But if we're gonna build trust,
then we gotta burn down this house and start over.
This one's the biggest, the most private,
and it has the biggest bathroom. -ANGIE: Room is amazing.
-They're all good, I know. -I know.
So, what room do you want?
Would the biggest room go to the hostess?
I don't know.
That would be, like, probably the most
diplomatic, respectful thing to do.
Okay. But I came first to pick my room, so...
***
Why don't you guys get changed, enjoy the pool,
and I'll see you guys later? -Okay.
-Thank you. -Bye!
-Thank you for the amazing tour. -Of course.
See you later.
LISA: Has anybody heard from Whitney?
Just the text from earlier. Nothing else.
LISA: Okay.
So, she didn't say if she's coming down, or...
-No, she said she's coming. -Okay.
She just said she's taking a different flight.
But I don't know when.
***
I didn't even tell Lisa I was coming.
Imagine Meredith's face when she sees me.
The one person that you didn't want here is here.
Other dynamics that I didn't really think of
when I made the very impulsive decision to come here early...
just like, is Heather gonna be mad?
***
-Want a chip? -Thanks, Monica.
Can you not give chips over my clothes, please?
-Sorry, Mary. -I don't like crumbs.
No crumbs on Mary. [crunching]
Do you know the best thing about being a little girl is?
-We're not old hags. -We are not old hags,
and we are not miserable bitches either.
-We're happy girls. -[chuckles]
I just wanna get to where we're going.
Same. I know. You don't want to be in transit anymore.
We have been voyaging since 6 a.m.
Oh, my God. Do you know where Whitney is?
She texted Meredith.
She just said she's coming on a separate flight.
-She didn't explain anything. -That's it?
-HEATHER: She got a P.J. -[gasps] That bitch.
[laughter]
It's gonna be a fun surprise. Is that naive of me?
I think you'll be a fun surprise.
I don't know if I'llbe a fun surprise.
-I'm prepared. -You got this.
Prepared for God knows what with her.
Are you melting? I need more sunscreen.
Okay, well, why don't we get out, go in?
Should we take our drinks with us?
Yes, of course.
***
LISA: [singsongy] Hi.
-Hi. -How are you?
-Hi. -You need a hand?
-Yes, thank you. -Oh, I love it. It's so pink.
Oh, it is perfectly pink. It's really bright out.
Do you know how we get in?
Yeah, they sent me a code, which I guess goes in here maybe?
***
LISA: We got the code.
[singsongy] Are you the keymaster?
Well, I'm not sure if it's working.
-Let me try again. -LISA: Is there an "enter"?
Oh, maybe I have to do the check. Start again.
-They're here. [laughs] -Well, here we go.
-Oh, perfect. -Here we go!
-Yay! -Oh, my God.
Next time on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City"...
The other ladies are already here.
-Who? -Welcome!
[singsongy] Hi!
***
Can we order a... Heather, what's it called?
Oh, espresso martini.
[voice echoing] Espresso martini.
[voice slowed down] Espresso...
[slowed down laughter]
[retches]
You rent your ----ing life. Everything about you is fake.
-Stop! Okay, Angie, Angie-- -You're a ----ing fake bitch.
You...can...leave!
If I wanna go for the jugular and talk about this sh--...
I can go there.
-Don't [bleep] with me. -Okay.
Tell her to [bleep] off.