I'm Harry Tasker, husband, dad, computer salesman,
and for 17 years the most important person in my life
didn't know I was also something else.
Omega Sector's top spy.
I'm Helen Tasker,
wife, mom and professor.
After an unfortunate incident
where I found out our whole life was a lie,
now I'm also a spy.
Honey, all those things are true.
They're just, you know... What?
True lies.
Babe, hurry.
I'm trying.
I think they're searching the offices.
What do you want me to do if they come in?
Shoot them.
Ah. Bingo.
Okay. Guys, I got guards incoming.
I don't think I can do this.
Ah.
You can do this, honey. This is what you trained for.
I didn't kill anyone in training, Harry.
On these missions, you're always the one
that does all the real shooting.
No shooting necessary.
Come on.
How much time do we have left?
30 seconds.
I'm not talking about the bomb. Oh.
Uh, 19 minutes. Oh, hope there's no traffic.
Yeah, okay.
Nice work, guys.
It was Helen's first time
guarding the door. She did great.
Yeah, only because I didn't have to shoot anybody.
I almost wet my tactical pants.
What's our ETA?
Seven minutes.
We're cutting it pretty close. Hit the gas.
You got it.
Whoa!
It's insanity.
And the travel budget for the geology department
is a knife fight for every dollar.
But anthropology can travel anywhere they want.
I'm telling you, it's a war.
You know, I heard
that there was a huge explosion
at the Venezuelan Consulate tonight.
Oh, really? Mm-hmm.
I ran out to get some more cilantro,
almost didn't make it back
because I-395
was gridlocked.
But I knew a shortcut,
so I cut across three lanes to the exit.
Sounds like you guys get all the excitement.
We do.
I can't believe
worrying about shooting someone
wasn't the worst part of my day.
That was awful.
There's something about Doug's voice
that just makes me want to punch him in the throat.
Harry.
But in a nice way.
I don't understand why it's so hard
to find couple friends.
You know? It was already hard enough before,
and now that we're both spies,
it's, like, do we have anything in common with anyone?
Well, I thought we really hit it off
with that couple from counterintel.
The people who wouldn't stop talking about
"high-end encryption
for secure data systems"?
Honey, more like counter-interesting.
Maybe it's too hard.
It's not like anyone's gonna understand what it's like
to be us. Other spies aren't married.
Well, you still have your yoga friends,
and I still have my bowling pals.
I know, but I want people that
we can be ourselves around, you know?
Like, you could do spy stuff with him,
and then I could talk to her about clothes and guns.
And then, at the end of the day,
we could all laugh about spy snafus.
Like, when you throw a grenade,
but you forgot to pull the pin.
That's a nice dream, honey.
I know.
Who am I kidding?
I guess it's just more boring dinners
with Alice and Doug.
Hey, you know what wouldn't be boring?
What?
Punching Doug in the throat.
No? No punching, either.
Just one time? No.
That would be so much fun.
All right, guys. Intel combed through the data
we stole last night,
and it's bad. Eyes up on screen.
Omega Sector has determined that rogue
Cuban General Hernan Alvaro Ochoa
has gained control of a long-range mobile missile.
Ochoa is known to hold anti-Western views.
Analysis suggests that he plans to attack Miami,
initiating a new Cold War
and allowing hard-line communists
to seize control in Cuba.
When's he planning on launching?
Soon as his code guy deciphers the launch codes.
Ooh, so we're off to Havana?
Not exactly.
American spies in Cuba can make things worse.
Plus, Ochoa's got
eyes everywhere. We can't get near him,
which is where these guys come in.
Valentina and Emilio Pérez,
bigwigs in Cuba's defense department.
They'll be in Panama for meetings.
Harry, Helen, you're gonna pose as American diplomats,
cozy up to them,
and recruit them to take Ochoa out.
Gib, it's gonna take a lot of cozying up to
to convince people to kill a general.
Yeah, well, that's the gig.
The good news is, the Pérez family has lobbied
to strengthen U.S.-Cuban relations.
I doubt they'll want all that hard work
to go up in a mushroom cloud.
Uh-huh, and the bad news?
Bad news is we know zilch about how to make the approach.
Which means we're gonna have to go to Panama,
do some recon, and execute the world's
fastest recruitment op.
We leave tomorrow.
So, I have some exciting news.
Aunt Fannie has invited
you guys to her annual lake trip.
Wait, actually? With Cousin Tori?
Mm-hmm. Yeah. You guys leave tomorrow.
Awesome. You know,
I've always wanted to waterski with Tori.
She posts the dopest tricks on her Instagram.
What about you, Dana? You don't seem so excited.
Yeah, yeah, it's exciting.
Oh, come on, this is gonna be great. I mean,
you guys and Tori have been
super tight since you were babies.
I remember when you three
used to take baths together.
Yes. Aw. It was so cute.
I should get those pictures out. Mm-hmm.
No. Uh, please don't.
I'm just kidding. I'm saving those for your prom dates.
Good one, Mom.
Hilarious. Thank you very much.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Okay, come on, go and pack.
You're gonna have fun. You got to get going.
And don't forget,
they're kind of churchy,
so you're gonna want to pack your one-piece.
I don't have a one-piece, Mom.
Didn't I buy her a one-piece?
I think so.
Okay, team, here's the plan.
Harry, Helen, you're checking into the Pérez's hotel
as American diplomats.
I got you a room right above them.
You'll rope down, break in, and look for intel
you can use to befriend them. Hobbies, foods, whatever.
The Pérezes have reservations at the hotel restaurant.
Luther, Maria, you'll keep an eye on them,
make sure they don't walk in
on our snooping.
So, hit the restaurant
and scout out surveillance locations.
Have fun out there.
Geez.
Is this the only way we enter a room anymore?
Climbing on ropes on buildings?
Did everyone completely forget about doors?
Well, we have to avoid security cameras, so, yeah.
Feels weird spying on someone
to pretend to be their friends.
Helen, look at it this way.
If we had spied on those parents from Dana's soccer team,
we would've found out about their pyramid scheme
before we invited them to game night.
Mm-hmm.
Ready?
Okay.
You guys in place? Status report?
LUTHER Identifying targets now.
Yup, that's them.
Four exits.
I have two. Luther has two.
If the Pérezes move, we'll know.
Someone's heading their way.
She's the Pérez's aide.
Flor Alvarez.
Awfully friendly. Do all Cubans
smooch their staff? It's a Latino thing.
That's just how we greet each other.
You're Colombian.
You don't greet me like that.
Maybe if you learn Spanish and move to Bogotá.
I speak Spanish.
Some Spanish. I mean, how many words
do you have to know to get a cheek kiss?
Sir? I believe you're at my table.
Clearly, it's not
your table, as I was already sitting there.
I had it reserved.
You know, it didn't say "reserved" on it.
Gib, we have a problem.
Some creep wants Luther
to move from his surveillance position.
Luther, get rid of this clown.
Hey, pal, there's lots of other tables
in the restaurant.
I'm not your pal.
Ooh.
Crap. I think this is escalating.
Hah, there we go. The laptop.
Harry.
She's reading the Spanish version of The Orchid Temple.
Perfect. It's a great way for you guys
to connect.
Remember, it's the book about the blacksmith
who's dying of a broken heart?
Yeah, I think The Orchid Temple is, uh,
way more your area of expertise on this op.
Your loss, honey. It's a beautiful book.
Harry,
I will tell you this,
this woman has amazing taste in clothing.
Oh. Oh, and looks like
they just went shopping.
All right, this is gonna take a minute.
Harry, lots of shopping.
Looks like they bought some new Vans.
One green, one blue.
They must have children.
That's so sweet. I bet they have teenagers like us.
Harry, look at this rum.
Amiguitos.
It means "little buddies."
Harry, they sound fun.
Helen, they are foreign intelligence targets.
Yeah, fun targets.
Sorry.
What did he say? What did you say?
It doesn't matter. We have a job to do.
Gib, target's on the move.
What? Where?
They're leaving out the east exit.
Probably heading back to the room.
Harry, Helen, uh, we lost the Pérezes.
I need you guys to peace out of there right now.
All right, we got to go.
Come on, go, go, go, go, go.
A little nightcap.
Does this lipstick say, "Take out a general for me"?
Honey, you could take out the whole regime.
Hmm.
GIB All right, the Pérezes
just arrived for their lunch reservation.
You two ready to make the approach?
HARRY We're almost ready.
Hey, what's your 20?
Any suspicious activity in your area?
Luther and Maria did a sweep.
Everything looks clear,
but we're set up in the alley just in case.
All right, we're on our way.
I hope Valentina likes this dress.
I can already tell she's a vibrant lady.
So, I wore green,
and it's a little vintage, but
when I looked through all of her stuff,
I noticed she had kind of a retro style.
Well, everything's pretty much retro in Cuba.
I know all of her favorite foods, I know all
of her favorite hobbies. I feel like
she's my best friend already.
But remember, this is a mission. We're not here to get
couple's massages with these people. We're recruiting them
to take out a rogue general that wants to blow up Miami.
Yes. All the more reason to wear the right dress.
It's Dana.
Tell her I said hi.
Hi, honey. What's up?
Mom, I need you to come get me, like, right now.
Wait, slow down. What's going on?
It was a mistake coming here.
Okay? I don't know how to waterski at all.
So? So?
He's here.
I mean, I thought that he might be, and he definitely is.
Wait, who's he? Yousif.
All right? It's Tori's old neighbor.
He's visiting from college.
From college?
Mom, I'm not gonna date him, okay? I just, I don't want
to look stupid. I don't know how to waterski,
and Tori, she's this pro.
Okay, well, if you're so worried about it,
why don't you ask Tori if she can teach you?
I can't. That's the thing. She's gonna convince me to try,
I'm gonna wipe out, all of her friends
are gonna post about it, and I'm literally
gonna have to go into hiding.
Dana, it's okay to ask for help.
It's more than okay. It's very brave.
Mom, it's not that simple.
It is that simple.
It's also hard.
Whatever. I have to go.
Okay, well, all right. Well, tell your brother
that he needs to wear his sunscreen, and
we love you. Goodb...
Every time.
GIB Okay, the Pérezes are at the bar.
Status report?
Gib, we're in. Making our approach now.
Copy.
Dos Amiguitos, por favor.
"Amigwee-toes."
I can't believe you can't pronounce
the name of your favorite rum.
Did I do it again? He did.
Are you an Amiguitos man?
Amiguitos? It's a very good rum, yes.
Make it four.
Oh, that's very generous of you,
but my wife and I, we have plans.
Oh, come on, just one drink.
I'm Nick Smith, by the way. This is my wife, Amy.
Hi.
Emilio Pérez.
My wife, Valentina.
Valentina. We really need to go.
It's too late. He already poured them.
Come on, just one drink.
It's not every day you get to meet people
with really good taste in rum.
One. One. Oh.
Is this dress Clandestina?
Yes. You know it?
Yes, I adore Cuban designs.
It's just, you can never get them in the States.
Bueno. You can't get them in Cuba, either.
So, what brings you to Panama?
Uh, business.
Cuban Defense Department. Mm-hmm. Mm.
Mm, wow, that's amazing.
And you?
We work for the U.S. State Department.
And just between us,
I really wish our countries
got along better.
We couldn't agree more.
Salud.
Cheers. Salud.
Ah. Mm.
I have an idea. This is nice.
We should get a table together.
Yeah. Oh, we were supposed to meet
some people at the embassy reception, but...
But those events are the most boring things on the planet.
Come on, I insist.
Put this on our tab, too, por favor.
GIB You guys are doing great.
Keep the momentum up.
He's 16, and sh-she's 13. 14.
That's the same age as our kids.
Two teens, two years apart.
Why didn't someone warn us?
I know.
And then when the blacksmith dies in his son's arms
in the last chapter...
It broke my heart.
This is why I'm telling everyone all the time,
"Read The Orchid Temple."
What's it called?
HELEN and VALENTINA: The Orchid Temple.
You ready? Ready? Yeah.
So, normally, I wouldn't be so forward so fast,
but since we all get along so well,
I was thinking, maybe my wife and I,
we could talk to you about, um, a little...
proposition.
Maybe something a... a little outside of your comfort zone.
But, hey, what happens in Panama stays in Panama.
GIB Hey, I'm picking up some weird signals.
Me, too. Do you hear this?
I think they're swingers.
No. Radio signals.
Something's up.
Whoa.
Do you think Harry and Helen are gonna swing
with the Pérezes to save the mission?
Do we listen?
What exactly were you proposing?
In Cuba, we have a problem.
A rogue general called Ochoa
who leads an extremist
faction and who plans to bomb the U.S.
He thinks it will help his little group of maniacs.
Mm-hmm. So, we were hoping you could speak to your government
about, you know...
...stopping him.
Wait a minute, you want us to "stop him"?
See,
in Cuba, he's too powerful, too connected.
We cannot get to him.
But for your government,
maybe not that hard.
I mean, you said
you would love for our countries to have better relations.
Wait, wait, wait. Are they pitching us
on taking out Ochoa?
We're supposed to be pitching them.
Okay.
I just picked up a swarm of encrypted radio signals.
Eyes open, people.
We were planning
on approaching a pair of diplomats at the embassy event.
But then we met two new friends
working for the State Department
who like Amiguitos, too.
Yeah.
The funny thing about that... Guys!
Get out of there now. I got bogeys incoming.
Luther, get us out of here now.
Gib, we've got a problem.
What's wrong?
Stay calm. We'll handle this.
They're here for us!
Harry!
They're Ochoa's men.
I thought you were bureaucrats.
They fight like this at the State Department?
Gib, talk to me.
We're surrounded, all right? Get out of there
now. Get out of there.
Go. Gotta go.
Harry...
Okay.
All right, all right.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
American citizen. Take it easy, take it easy.
We're American citizens.
They're capturing that jackass from yesterday.
What's happening?
What about the team? We can't save them if we're dead.
The valet left that running. Get in the car.
So...
I have a wobbly shoe.
And you two are spies?
Sí.
As are you, I assume.
Que arroz con mango.
What did he say about mangoes?
It means we're in a sticky situation.
I can't believe this.
Did you even read
The Orchid Temple?
What about you?
You're a spy, too. Mm-hmm.
Was anything about our lunch even real? All right, look.
We can't trust each other, we got that.
But we both want to take out Ochoa.
You guys just beat us to the punch on the ask.
And now we're all blown.
Yeah, and somebody tipped him off.
You guys have a mole.
It was not someone on our team.
Well, it wasn't ours.
We got a radio warning. You didn't.
Plus, those commandos
rushed in pretty fast after you mentioned Ochoa's name.
Who'd you have listening?
Wait.
Flor, sh-she was on our radios.
No, no, no, no, you can't think for a second that it was Flor.
Because I trust her with my life.
Mi amor, think about it.
Why else would Ochoa be in Panama?
She must've told him we were going to be here
working against him.
As soon as we made our move, he sent his commandos.
He wants to stop us before we can stop him.
Oh, but Flor is like family.
I mean, she's basically
the third person in our marriage. I...
I can't believe this.
Harry, I think their Gib
captured our Gib.
You know...
you're gonna regret capturing U.S. citizens.
I'm sure of it. You mean U.S. spies!
Geez, you kick hard.
You run communications for your team, right?
You're gonna radio the two operatives who escaped my men.
And if they give me what I want...
then you will live.
And what is it that you want?
Los Pérez...
because their execution will be an example
to those who oppose our movement.
Okay, and, uh...
...what about the rest of my team?
They're alive.
For now, but that can change.
Oh, you have no idea
who you're up against, you silly son of--
Hey.
Listen to me!
I think you are the one who does not understand
the situation, huh?
If you want to see your team again,
I would suggest that you cooperate.
Very angry.
Yeah.
So...
you and the Pérezes are Cuban spies?
Why would I tell you anything? Spies?
That's why you wanted my table, counter-intelligence.
I should've just shot you instead.
Then we wouldn't be here.
Typical communist.
Just shoot anyone who doesn't agree with you.
No, not everyone.
Only imperialists who want to tell us how to live.
Oh, why, 'cause we're right?
Dude, you're driving around in, like, 50-year-old cars.
Thanks to your blockade. ¡Oye!
And call me when your country
has free dental care, you arrogant son--
¡Basta!
Do you guys want to die in here?
Now shut up.
We need a plan.
It's Gib.
You got to bring the Pérezes to Ochoa.
He's serious, Harry.
I-I-I don't know what to do.
He said he's gonna kill us all.
Let me speak to Ochoa.
Listen, you want your people, I want mine.
Alive and unhurt.
Meet me in one hour.
I will send the coordinates.
Now, as for "unhurt..."
...there's nothing that won't heal.
Oh, my God, if we don't give him the Pérezes,
he's gonna kill Gib, Maria and Luther.
If we do, he's gonna kill the Pérezes.
And blow up Miami, to boot.
Well, there has to be another option.
There is something we can try,
but it puts all of our lives in their hands.
How much do you trust the Pérezes?
They're fun.
But I don't know about trusting them with our lives.
Can't you and I just do it?
We can, but our chances go from low to tiny.
I need exact percentages.
You don't want exact percentages.
You haven't had a lot of experience shooting people.
And we need all the firepower we can get.
Yeah.
But how do we know? We don't.
You just have to take a leap.
Yeah, but what if we leap, and they don't catch us?
Then everybody dies.
Oh, wow, what kind of spy sells out his team
the second something goes wrong?
Gib didn't sell us out.
Oh, no? Sounds like he rolled over
and gave us all up.
Gib was giving us intel.
He coughed nine times.
That means nine commandos on site.
He repeated a word three times
at the start of a sentence-- three entry points.
Gib wasn't giving up. He was giving us
what we need to attack Ochoa.
We just can't do it on our own.
You know what you are asking of us, right?
Yes. Yes, I do.
Forgive me, but how do we know that you won't
betray us to save your team?
You don't.
The same way we don't know
whether or not you'll betray us.
But if we don't work together,
everybody dies.
And Miami is obliterated.
Which means war.
Well, it looks like we all have something to lose.
Okay.
I swear on our kids,
you can trust us to have your back.
And I swear on ours.
And to be clear,
you actually have children?
Because we do, and they're amazing.
And we want to go home to them.
Believe me.
We want the same. Yeah.
Oh, you have a whole handshake.
So, look, I got an idea, but it's too risky to go back
to our place and get the equipment.
We need guns. That's not a problem.
There are guns everywhere.
Huh.
You guys think if you wiggle enough, you can break
the ropes with your can-do attitude?
You have a better idea, nena?
Actually, mijito, I do.
My hair clip has a sharp edge.
It's my "just in case I get tied up with a jerk" knife.
You mean him, right? Oh.
The jury's out.
Tilt your head back.
Let me see if I can get it with my teeth.
Can you, can you do it?
It's just too far.
Right.
It's the wrong side.
Raul will have to get it.
You can't trust that guy with a knife.
I've seen oil spills that are less slippery than him.
I'm tied up next to your mangey neck
because I am also trying to stop Ochoa.
I want what's best for my country.
¡Oye!
We're a country of immigrants.
So if he's a pig, then so am I.
Oh, that's actually-- Shut up, Luther.
Sorry. Shut up, Luther.
You shut up. We're gonna
have to work together if we want to get out of here.
Got it? Yes.
Don't get any ideas.
See those bars on the window?
That's a stash house.
You're gonna find plenty of weapons in there.
Let's go shopping.
Okay.
So they're gonna get a bunch of guns. Mm.
Then we bring them to Ochoa.
And then...
...we shoot people?
Yes.
That's sort of how it works.
Of course. Yeah, no.
Yeah, it's totally fine.
Oh!
What is it?
It's my daughter.
Aw. I gave her some advice.
And she's letting me know that it worked.
Wow. And she admitted it?
Such miracles do not happen in Cuba.
What did you tell her?
I-I told her to be brave.
And to ask for help when she needs it.
Hmm.
And, speaking of being brave
and asking for help...
uh, I am actually new
at this whole spy thing.
I am, I am a professional spy.
And I've been on missions and I, um...
and the gun that I use is my own gun.
It was assigned to me, and I've shot it, um...
...but I've never actually shot anybody.
That...
never gets easy.
My advice?
Focus on what you're doing it for.
Like saving your friends.
Or Miami.
Or not dying in a ditch in Panama.
Yes, no, ditches are, ditches aren't my favorite.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Lo siento.
Everything okay?
We heard shooting. Muy bien.
And they say Americans and Cubans can't work together.
Mi amor.
Now what?
Spit it into my hand.
Did you have to use so much spit?
Can you reach my ropes?
No, I can't reach 'em.
That means that you're gonna have to cut me free first, huh?
All right, sit still.
I am sitting still.
Ow!
You made me drop it. You cut my hand on purpose.
Guys, if we don't get that clip, we are all going to die in here.
So let's tip over.
Okay, let's go on three. One,
two, three.
See?
That wasn't so bad.
Tell that to my dislocated shoulder.
Americans, so delicate.
Not so delicate that I can't throw my head back
and crack you in that thick Cuban skull.
When this is over,
I will hunt you down wherever you are.
And I will kill you.
Okay, guys, I love the bonding that's happening right now,
but can you just get the clip?
You ready?
Let's do this, my friends.
Show me you are unarmed.
Bueno, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it.
Your friends are inside.
You can see them when you hand over the traitors.
Bring my people out first.
No.
Why don't you join them instead?
That way you can say your final goodbyes.
Now!
Keep firing!
Keep shooting.
Get down!
Don't think, just shoot.
I'll take the gun, thank you. I knew it!
I knew we shouldn't have trusted him!
You shouldn't even be here.
This is a Cuban fight.
Tell that to everyone in Miami. You Americans,
you think everything is about you.
He's making a run for it.
Go! We'll handle this.
Raul, slide me the gun.
Oh, because Americans do everything better?
That'd be a pretty sick burn if it wasn't true.
Come on, I have the better angle to shoot.
Cooperate now or I will kill you both myself.
Here.
My turn. Dámelo.
We did it.
Yeah.
Should we split up?
No, look.
Blood. This way.
Gib!
You shoot, I shoot.
Take the shot, Harry.
Take the shot, man. He's got the missile!
He's gonna launch as soon as he gets the codes.
My friend?
If you're not gonna do it, I will have to.
Listen.
No one needs to die today.
Revolutions end in victory or death.
And I am prepared to die for Cuba.
Take the shot, man.
It's either me or Miami.
I didn't think.
I just shot him.
I know, I know.
It's okay. It's over.
It's over.
You know you should have shot me, right?
But thanks for not shooting me.
Anytime.
Okay.
Just heard from Omega.
Ochoa's allies have been arrested.
The missile is under control.
And Miami is safe.
Which is really good, because I have
about a third of the Dolphins in my fantasy football lineup.
Mm.
Are you guys gonna be okay?
With Ochoa gone, yes.
So this is goodbye?
I'm afraid so.
Unless...
you defect to Cuba.
Cigars along the Malecón?
Or you defect to America and we have beers on the Potomac.
Mm.
Hey, guys. Exfil's almost here.
All right, we should go.
It was an honor working with you, hermano.
Honor was mine.
I'm gonna miss you guys.
Yeah, me, too.
I hope I never see you again,
you... arrogant American pig.
Right back at you, you little Cuban weasel.
Oh, get a room, will you, guys?
Let's go.
I mean, I wasn't, like, nailing tricks,
but my slalom was solid
and I stuck a backward landing.
And the boy you were trying to impress?
Mom, I wasn't trying to impress him.
But he said
that my waterskiing was badass. Mm.
Maybe the "ass" part was true.
Hey.
Okay, lobster.
Okay, well,
I'm just glad that you asked for help when you needed it.
It could save your life one day.
Or someone else's.
We were just waterskiing, Mom. We're good.
Yeah.
Your mom knows what she's talking about.
Speaking of helping people, why don't you help
your brother upstairs to put more aloe on his sunburn?
All right, come on.
You're fine.
It's gonna look really ugly when you start to peel.
Dana!
You okay?
Is it bad that I miss the Pérezes?
No, they were super fun.
I know, but I've been thinking--
If we can make friends with enemy agents,
then maybe other couples
aren't so hard.
If we just do the work. Mm-hmm, like
sneaking into their bedrooms for intel on their hobbies?
Yeah, or going through the neighbor's trash.
Yeah, what about that couple in the Tudor?
No, Harry, I'm not that desperate.
I'm just saying, I'm haven't given up yet.
There's got to be that one other couple
out there for us.
Now who sounds like a swinger?
Well, yeah.
Maybe if you get me drunk enough.
Let me get the rum.
Ah!
Amiguitos!
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