[peaceful music]
♪ ♪
[parental alarm bells blaring]
both: [gasp] Zuri!
[suspenseful music]
- No! - Stop!
- Why? - Because girls don't shave.
- Because you're using up my shaving cream.
- What's the big deal? - That shaving cream
is expensive. - Girls don't get facial hair.
- Grandma has hair on her--
both: We don't talk about that.
[school bell ringing]
[gentle music]
♪ ♪
[glass squeaking] [door opens]
- Sorry I can't join in on all the fun.
I got to get to the salon.
This booking app really works.
[phone chimes] - Triple booking.
- Ooh, and that sound means I am triple-booked,
which means I got the rent this month.
- No, you don't, because I got it.
I mean, well, Lil Ankh got it,
but I'm about to get it from him.
- You mean, like, rob him?
- Oh, you don't think I can get Ankh to pay me?
- Not without committing a crime, no.
- Yeah, you couldn't even get me to stop shaving, Dad.
- Don't you have some grandparents to bother today?
[phone chimes] - Booking spree.
- Oh, I got to go. I have faith in you, Stephen.
But I'll set aside some bail money just in case.
Bye, you two.
- Dad, do you need me to help you
get your money from Ankh?
I mean,
I finesse money all the time.
- I think I can handle it, sweetie.
- I won't tell Mom if you think it'll make you look weak.
I know that's important to men.
- OK, off to Gigi's.
[tires screeching]
[crash]
[hip-hop music]
- Yo, what's good, man?
I see you're playing my music.
About that-- - Hey!
Can't you see I'm on the phone?
[door slams]
Now, what's up, Lil Stephen?
- Please don't call me that.
Look, thanks for coming over.
- Bruh, duplexes is not the vibe.
You need to get your paper up and get a real home.
- Yeah, that's the plan.
So I'm not gonna take up much
of your illusionary time.
I just really need my money, man.
- Money?
You got to be way more descriptive, bruh.
Euros, yens, pounds,
pesos, shekels, crypto?
- U.S. dollars, Ankh.
- OK, now we getting somewhere.
But I ain't got it on me.
- Dude, you got money all around you.
- Man, this is my lil selfie money,
not my Lil Stephen money.
- What about that?
- Bruh. Look, you got a lot to learn.
The stack on his left leg is my little strip club money.
The stack on his right leg is my little throwaway money,
you know, that I blow on dumb stuff,
like if I wanted to put a ruby in my forehead
for no reason or something.
- Are you se--
yo, I need my-- [exhales]
- Don't breathe out your nose when you're angry, king.
Your nose is your pyramid.
Don't desecrate it. - Ankh!
- Relax, bruh. I'm gon' pay you your money.
But we just need to make a stop real quick.
- We? Oh, no. I'm not going anywhere.
I just asked you to stop by to--
- Skrrt. [tires squealing]
- [hums]
Who's that handsome man
you're drawing?
Your grandpa?
- Nope. It's you, Gigi.
Mommy says girls don't have facial hair,
so I'm drawing you to prove it.
- Baby, I don't have no facial hairs.
- Yes, you do. See?
One, two, three.
- Y'all are messing up my counting!
- What you counting?
- Probably all the late rent money
he has to collect.
- It's a dirty job,
but somebody got to do it.
[water gushing]
- Oh, not again.
- [groans]
A man's work is never done.
- A man's work?
My mom fixes sinks all the time,
and she has a man in the house.
- Hmph, that's debatable. - No, it's not.
Her parents believe in equality.
And I think that's wonderful.
- Equality does not mean women can do everything,
especially in this house.
- Grandpa, you need to hang out with some more women.
- I agree.
Wait! No, he doesn't.
Sir, please tell me more about what women can't do.
- Yeah, 'cause I can do what you do, Grandpa.
Watch. "I'm a mad grandpa
"because I'm mad that I'm a mad grandpa,
and I'm mad!"
- Well, let's see.
They can't fix clogged drains,
kill spiders, run the world.
- Dig holes that he can't get out of.
- And they can't run my business.
You know what it's like collecting rent
from all these freeloaders?
- I could get the rent with my eyes closed.
- That's right, all four of them.
- You? [chuckles]
Collect my rent? - Our rent.
- [cackling] - And why not?
Women are smart and effective communicators.
So let me communicate what you can't do,
like cooking, cleaning,
standing up from a chair without grunting, laundry.
- Gigi, anybody can do laundry. - Anybody can collect rent!
- That's right.
[ominous music]
- Be my guest. [grunts]
Then I can have a day off just doing laundry, making dinner,
and watching talk shows all day.
- Fine, you go right ahead and wrestle
with that old washing machine from the Carter administration.
Go ahead.
- I'm going ahead too 'cause I'm a "femimism."
- [grunts]
- [coughs] Hey!
You need to stop being cheap and just buy you a new sink!
- Who asked you? - [groans]
And a washing machine too.
[funky music]
♪ ♪
- So just because two idiots had sex in the '90s,
I got to feed myself and work every day?
- Oh, that's what you do here.
I couldn't tell.
[laughter]
- Nah. - Ooh, chile.
- Oh.
[bells jingling]
- What about me, Darryl?
- I'm sorry, Star. I thought you was good.
- You know, there's something about a man
bringing me back nothing when I said I don't want nothing.
That really pisses me off.
- I know that's right.
OK, you're good to go, Miss Lady.
You can just pay me through the app.
- Angela knocking these heads out like Mayweather.
I see you, girl. Get that money.
- Cheri let you double-book like that?
- Let me?
My mama's name is Catherine, not Cheri.
And what's the big deal about using a booking app?
- It's blasphemy.
You just broke commandment number nine.
And for that transgression, Cheri might send you to hell.
- I'll pray for you, Ang. - Thank you, Darryl.
Look, those commandments are as old as Moses.
Cheri needs to get with the times.
- Mm-hmm, Angela does have a point.
All the other shops are using that app.
- And they're making more money than us.
- Really?
- Maybe it is time for a change.
- Yeah. When Cheri gets in, we need to tell her that--
- Tell me what?
- Oh. You tell her, Angela.
- Um, did I ever tell you you remind me of my mom?
[gentle music]
- Yo, where are we going?
[tires screech]
A car wash, really? Is there an ATM in there?
- I invested in this car wash
to symbolically clean my people's minds.
Yeah, a dirty job, but dirt is where we come from, king.
- I get it. You're giving back to the hood.
But right now, I just need you to give--yo!
- [groans]
- Damn, it's meditation time.
Hold that thought, Stephen.
- Hey, why are they doing that? - Om.
- [grunting]
- Om. - Ow.
- What in the hell, man?
[tires squealing]
- Om.
- I really hate to ask this, but is any of that for me?
- It's better to give than receive, bruh.
Now can y'all please keep it down?
I'm trying to fly over to Mount D's on my G4!
- Thank God we got away from that washing machine.
Russell doesn't know
the world of confusion
he's stepping into.
Spins when it's open,
Stops when it's closed.
Whispers things. Ooh.
It's like the machine is possessed.
- Oh, no, possessed?
Maybe we should stay and help him.
- He'll be OK.
Right now, it's time to get this money.
["All Hail the Queen"]
- ♪ It's time I let you know ♪
♪ I got that fire flow ♪
♪ Burnin' it down to the ground ♪
♪ Everywhere I go ♪
♪ I'm unstoppable ♪
♪ It's impossible ♪
♪ I am the ruler ♪
♪ And I reign till I can't no more ♪
♪ All hail the queen ♪
♪ Bow down to me ♪
♪ Step up on the scene ♪
♪ And they bow down to me ♪
♪ All hail the queen ♪
♪ Bow down to me ♪
♪ Step up on the scene ♪
♪ And they bow down to me ♪
♪ All hail the queen ♪
♪ I'm royalty ♪
♪ Watch me put in work ♪
♪ Doin' so royally ♪
♪ What else can I say? ♪
♪ I take their breath away ♪
♪ I keep it ice cold ♪
♪ Even on a summer day ♪
♪ I got the remedy ♪
♪ Baby, I'm everything ♪
♪ I wear the crown, got the power ♪
♪ And will never fade ♪
♪ I know you know that I run this world ♪
♪ And I know you know ♪
♪ That I can't control it ♪
[baby crying]
- How are we gonna tell Grandpa
that we let that lady slide?
- We don't.
He ain't got to know
everything.
That's how women do.
Now let's send him a picture.
- Say "Kamala Harris."
- "Cam-a-la." "Ka-ma-la"? - Kamala Harris.
Oh, hell.
[camera shutter clicks]
- [sighs]
Hmm.
[grumbling] Acting like I can't do laundry.
Like I haven't done laundry.
There's nothing to do with laundry.
[ominous music]
- [evil laughter]
- [groans]
[laughter continues]
- Come on. Stand up and fight like a man.
- Lavish Life.
Sure. See you then.
Angela, I just gave you a head since you ain't got nobody.
- Actually, I've got someone coming in
at 10:00, 10:30, and 10:45.
So you should-- - Hmm, not by this schedule.
- Oh, yeah, they all booked online.
- Online? Do you need an updated copy
of the commandments, bylaws, and sanctions?
- Yeah, about that, you see, it's not 1999 anymore.
So we thought--
I mean, I thought that we could maybe--
- Cheri giveth Lavish Life, and she taketh away.
All bookings go through me.
- But we could triple our bookings.
[phone chimes] - Triple booking.
[bells jingling] - Angela!
- Hi, Marie. It's been too long, girl.
Let me get you into the chair, so--
- Sorry, Marie.
Angela forgot to tell you online
that you have to call to make appointments.
Right, Angela? - Yes.
- OK. But why can't I make an appointment right here?
I mean...
[phone ringing]
- Lavish Life. How can I help you?
- I'd like to book an appointment
for right now with Angela Young.
- Well, let me see if she's available.
Hmm, yes.
Angela can see you immediately.
- We can do it the old-school way this time,
but you've got to try the app.
It'll make everyone's life here so much easier.
Check it out?
Come on, Marie.
- We'll see about that.
You know, this could be pretty big for us.
- Yeah, that's the same thing we were thinking, Cheri.
- Yeah. We knew you'd like it.
- Really? Anyways, just glad I can help.
- ♪ I do the most, I am a legend ♪
♪ This is a bump ♪
♪ I never stop, no room for seconds ♪
♪ I got the crown, I wear it strong ♪
♪ Tell everybody, ha ♪
[singing in language]
♪ Getting' money, doin' wheelies in the rave ♪
♪ Money, they follow ♪
♪ Ten toes in Manolos ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ How will I know? ♪
♪ ♪
- Oh, great.
Are y'all about to beat up some kids now?
- Nah, bruh.
Lil Ankh loves the kids.
You might not know this, but kids need things,
so I started Kids N' Thangs.
- Well, I have a kid. And I know she needs thangs.
And to get those thangs, I need thangs from you,
like my money.
- Hey, is money all you think about?
[sneezes]
I'm allergic to being broke, and you're a little too close.
Lil Davey, bless me real quick and go check on my seeds.
- [sighs] Bless you.
[phone ringing]
- Hey, Ang.
No, it's going great.
Just hanging out with Ankh, you know, chilling.
Oh, yeah.
Of course he paid me.
Yep, in cash.
No, I'm not gonna take a picture of it.
I got to go, babe.
- You got a good woman, Stephen.
If I was a square with no paper like you,
all my queens would be out fast.
- Yeah, well, my queen doesn't see me like that.
- Yeah, she does. She just really loves you.
And love will make you do some really dumb stuff.
Hey, do me a favor right quick.
Run in there and tell Lil Davey to come on.
[car starting]
[tires screeching] - Yo!
[dramatic music]
[boxing bell dinging]
- You messed with the wrong one today.
[grunting]
♪ ♪
[music swells]
♪ ♪
- Don't! No!
No! No!
- Now, that's what I thought.
Piece of cake.
- Yo, I can't believe this dude left us stranded like this.
- Man, he does it all the time.
- Then why do you put up with it?
- Bro, I'm from the South Side.
Lil Ankh's the only ticket I got.
So it's either drinking lots of Sea Monster,
getting stranded sometimes,
or possibly becoming a statistic.
[hip-hop music]
- 'Ey, we was in a tow away zone,
and I didn't feel like sitting there waiting for y'all.
Get in.
You know what, Lil Stephen?
I used to think all this money would make me happy,
but it didn't.
Real happiness... - Comes from within.
I've heard this before. - Nah.
It comes from smoking a lot of weed.
But the point is happiness ain't everything.
Having somebody to experience the good and bad times with
is what's important.
That's all you, bruh.
'Ey, Stephen, can I get you tomorrow?
I just gave the homeless dude my Lil Stephen stack.
- No. Lil Driver, to the bank.
- Skrrt.
- ♪ Here I go, when I step in the room ♪
♪ Everybody knows I'm the bomb ♪
♪ Here I go, light up the world ♪
♪ 'Cause I drip with so much sauce ♪
♪ Here I go ♪
♪ ♪
- This is a great system, Angela.
We should have gone digital sooner.
- Just glad I can help.
Now I can get that bag I always wanted.
- Oh, and don't forget to pay your booth rent.
- There's always next month.
[laughter]
[ATM whirring]
[door opens and shuts]
- Here you go.
And I'm giving you this.
The ankh is the key of life.
And from this day forth,
I am the key to your life, Lil Stephen.
- Just Stephen. - Right.
So you are officially one of the crew.
- So? - To you,
this day is like when Michael Jordan
hit 63 in The Garden
and then gave his shoes to a little boy in the crowd.
You're the little boy, Stephen.
- I kind of figured that. - I look forward
to us spending the rest of our lives together, bruh.
Me, you, Lil Driver, Lil Davey, Lil Rocks, Lil Rob, Lil Chef...
[voice fades]
- Oh, hmm.
Well... - Washed, fluffed, folded.
Didn't know whites needed to be separated from color.
[chuckles] Some progress we've made.
- You spent actual money on an appliance?
You know all you had to do was hit the switch in the back.
- You never told me about no switch.
- You said you had it.
[gentle music]
♪ ♪
- Happy rent day.
- OK, Mr. Producer Man.
Got the chain and provider? I see you.
- You know how I do.
I'm just grinding through what a man does, you know.
- Mm-hmm, wearing another man's chain.
- I guess this means I get to pocket my half.
Hello, new-- - Garbage disposal is busted,
and y'all keep leaving on the lights.
Pay up. - [sighs]
- Wait, the garbage disposal is still busted?
A woman's work is never done. Come on, Grandma.
[laughter]
- That's what I'm talking about.
♪ ♪