[sensual R&B music]
- Mm-mm. Don't put that there. - Oh.
- Yes. - [chuckles]
- Yes, there. [cat meows questioningly]
- There! - Uh-uh.
- There you go! - Oh, yeah.
That is better.
[ominous music]
- [yawns] [stomping heavily]
- How come we don't do this more?
- I don't know, 'cause it feels so good.
[chuckles]
[stomping rumbles]
- [yawns]
♪ ♪
[indistinct chatter] Morning!
- Zuri! You need to knock. - Uh, hey! We were just--
- Is it Pajamas on the Floor Day again?
- Pajamas on the--what? No!
- That was yesterday. - And the day before that.
But today, Daddy and I are coordinating schedules.
- Oh, that's what you're calling it now.
- Girl, uncover your eyes.
- So much going on these days,
we wanted to get ahead of the next few weeks
so we don't miss anything important.
- Like my birthday today?
[both gasp]
- We didn't forget!
That's why we got you...
old shoes that are your mother's size.
- Psych! [laughs]
Wow, y'all really fell for that.
I should've ran with it and got some money and a cake.
Y'all better tighten up if you want to stay in charge.
[laughs] [door slams]
- Who still says "psych"?
- That's the part that concerns you,
not that she might be plotting a hostile takeover?
Wow, I got nothing for today.
- Dang, when's the last time we had a free day?
Ugh, remember when we used to ride down Lake Shore Drive,
listening to music?
- Then we'd get dizzy on some Jackson's Hot Stuff,
fried hard with extra mild sauce.
- Oh, it was just mild?
- Actually, it was hot as hell.
[sensual R&B music]
Oh, I just remembered
something we do gotta do today.
- [laughs]
♪ ♪
[stomach growls]
- Sorry, honey, but we are still gonna get the chicken,
right?
[school bell rings]
[upbeat R&B music]
♪ ♪
[upbeat music]
- Thanks for hanging with Zuri, Ahmir.
We got some errands to run, but we'll be back by 5:00.
- No prob, Uncle. I'm happy to...
[in slow-motion] Baby...
sit.
[normal speed] I don't need a babysitter.
I'm not a baby! Ugh!
- Ahmir is not your babysitter.
You two are just...hangin', as cousins.
[under breath] While he babysits.
- You're still paying me, though, right?
- Totally paying for this.
Now, don't open the door for anybody,
don't use the stove, and I want a picture every hour
as proof of life, got it?
- See, Zuri, it's more of a hostage situation.
- ♪ Mmm, these eggs ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
Happy anniversary, Russy!
- Over 30 years,
and you look as beautiful as you did
the day we got married.
- Now I know you're lying.
I look way better. [laughs]
- Aww, baby, now what you go spend money on?
- [kisses] - I love you so much.
I don't even need a gift, because your love--
is this what I think it is? How did you--
- I had a dream you were up to no good.
So I checked your web history and found the link
to this tool belt.
- Aww, this ain't a tool belt.
This beauty is the Machismo 2000,
with full grain leather straps
that can withstand up to 1,500 degree fires.
She is the Lena Horne of tool belts,
and she's perfect.
Just like you.
- [kissing] - I also got you something.
But I'm switching it up this year.
- Oh, you didn't have to. [laughs]
I always love flowers, chocolate, and a card.
I thought you were switching it up.
- Look inside the chocolates.
See? A gift card to our favorite spot, Luella's.
You'll be using that for lunch today.
You're welcome, baby.
- All right. Let's play a game.
- You ain't the boss of me!
Board or card? My mom threw away "Life."
Every time we played, she ended up
broke with six kids.
- Actually, I have a different game:
Fashion Model.
[upbeat music]
- ♪ I'm famous ♪
[camera shutter clicking]
♪ I'm famous ♪
- Where is my pudding?
If I had a cell phone, I'd throw it at you.
Ha! Diva meltdown, check.
Now I'm officially a supermodel.
- Right. Sure you are.
- Ooh, that was fun. What's next?
Not that you're in charge or nothing.
I just like your ideas.
- We're gonna go on a little adventure.
Grab your coat. - Oh, whoa.
Pump the brakes, my guy.
You heard my mom. We can't open the door.
- Technically, she said,
"Don't open the door for anybody,"
but we're not just anybody.
We're us.
You ready?
- I was born ready.
- I can taste it already. - Mm-hmm.
Extra mild sauce with a side of gizzards.
- And a strawberry kiwi juice.
Dang, we haven't been here since...
I think it was since I got food poisoning.
- Well, we thought it was food poisoning,
but you were just pregnant with Zuri.
- Oh, yeah.
All the barf.
- And thank you for reconnecting
my favorite chicken memories to your morning sickness.
- I'm sorry.
Next time, I'll try not to be pregnant
near your favorite restaurant.
- Thank you, Angela.
"Jen T. Frye's"? What is this?
- Wait, what?
Where's Jackson's Hot Stuff?
[ominous music]
♪ ♪
- I've planned a day so romantic,
you're gonna wanna divorce me just so you can marry me again.
All right, first, we gonna go for--
- A walk on the lake where we had our first kiss?
- Yeah, and then lunch--
- Luella's, where you first said you loved me.
- Right, that was easy.
I already gave you the gift card.
Then-- - Butter pecan ice cream,
slots on the riverboat, and finally,
the jewelry store to add another charm on my bracelet.
- Bingo!
Now, does your man deserve a jacket
with "world's most romantic" on it, or what?
- In rhinestones.
[thunderclap] - What?
It wasn't supposed to rain today!
- It's never supposed to rain.
- Chicago, you fickle son of a--
rain on one side of the city, sunshine on the other.
All right, Gigi, grab an umbrella.
- Oh, now that's romantic.
But if you really wanted to sweep me off my feet,
you would build me an ark.
- I haven't priced wood in a while,
but I'm pretty sure lunch at Luella's is a lot cheaper.
- Do you see this? Look.
They put a flower bed right where I used to pee
when the bathroom line was too long at the club.
And why does every sign include the words "art is anal"?
- "Artisanal."
I think it's white people talk for,
"They mamas taught 'em how to do it."
- So then say that.
- We are not spending a single dime of our money
at these stores. [phone chimes]
- Aww, Ahmir sent a picture of Zuri sleeping.
- Why do her lips look funny?
[phone beeps] - Ugh!
This place is stealing our culture
and our battery life.
- But in exchange, at least they got
free Wi-Fi and chargers.
Okay, look, we'll go in there, juice up, and get out
before a horror movie is made about us.
No sweat.
[bell chimes musically]
- Welcome to our oasis, where every day is a gift.
Namaste, friends.
My name is Jen.
My attribute today is joyous.
- We just need to charge our phones.
- Oh, no problem at all.
Now, I'm not sorry, but I do apologize.
The only way you can use the chargers here
is if you are feeding your being.
What can I get you folks?
[relaxing music playing]
- Um, I guess I'll do that sunshine tea thing.
- Love that for you!
For size, do you want petite-tea,
hef-tea, or enormi-tea?
- Small. Thanks.
- Ooh, it's a $10 minimum on all cards.
Would you like to add anything to your tea to get it to $10?
- You put leaves in water and charge $9.80,
and that ain't enough for you?
Let's make it a happy tea. - Super!
And for you, girlfriend?
- I'll have what he's having,
girl who is not my friend.
- J'adore.
And while you wait, feel free to recite
a daily affirmation into the Mirror of Self-Love.
- [as Jen] I will cherish myself
the way I cherish my DVD box set of "Friends."
- [as Jen] I will support my Black friends
by posting watered-down MLK quotes
to my Instagram stories
every time racial injustices occur.
[both laugh]
[both gasp] - Honey?
It was respectfully extracted with the bees' consent.
- Thank you so much.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- [grunts]
♪ ♪
- Don't make me tap the sign.
- Shoot.
I left my ID at home...
in my dorm at UIC, where I study law.
- Well, then, you better start hitting the books
a little harder, 'cause you don't seem to grasp
how the law works.
- Well, pre--pre-law. - [sighs]
- You're not in college, Ahmir.
Oh, I see what you're doing. I got this.
Hard to believe that he's 50 years old!
I know you look at him and say,
"Wow, he looks good for his age!"
- [laughs nervously] She's so funny.
The reason I don't have my ID is--
- 'Cause he doesn't need to show it to you.
Is this because he's Black? [grunting]
[tense music]
- Hey! Clean that up!
- Come on, Zuri, let's go!
- Get back here!
- Zuri, wait. Don't step on the--
- Ahh!
[light jazzy music]
♪ ♪
- It stopped raining.
If we leave now, we can get the senior lunch deal.
- Oh, senior lunch deal.
You are just going all out.
- Hey, sky's the limit for my baby.
Up, up. Let's go.
[thunderclap]
Oh, you gotta be kidding me!
[car alarms blaring]
Oh, well.
I wanted to give you a special day,
but looks like the weather wanted to save me some money.
- You wanna give me a special day?
You've been planning the same anniversary for two decades.
I got so many charms on my bracelet,
I tilt to the right like a pimp when I walk.
We need to spice things up.
I know everything you're gonna do and say
at all times.
- You don't know what I'm gonna--
- Say next.
- Sammy-- - Sosa.
- Pro-- - Volone.
- Jesse Jackson-- - Junior.
The most spontaneous part
of the day was the weather,
and it defeated you.
Happy anniversary.
[door slams] - The weather, defeat me?
I delivered mail for 30 years in this city.
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night
can whup my butt.
[relaxing music]
♪ ♪
- I feel grounded in the soul of the universe.
[laughing]
- Me too, babe.
I'm at peace with everything and every funk.
Even you, Jen! You're all right.
This tea is illuminating.
- No, no, no, no.
The illuminating tea is only one dose,
but the happy tea has...
♪ Twice the dose ♪
But enjoy!
♪ ♪
[car horn honks]
- It doesn't look too bad.
Feels like karma for you blowing up my spot.
- You blew up your spot.
I deserve an Oscar for what I did in there.
- I'm gonna go in and grab some ice.
Stay here, and do not, do not talk to anybody.
- Oh, now you got rules like my mom.
Who'd wanna steal a kid with a busted nose anyway?
[pigeon cooing]
Uh, do I know you?
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Ahh!
[breathing heavily]
Oof!
Hey, you can't tag this wall.
That's illegal. - Oh, yeah?
And what you gonna do about it?
Hey, what happened to your nose?
Blood makes me-- I think I'm gonna--
[retches] Blood makes me wanna--
[retching] Blood makes me--
[tense music] - Ahmir, run!
- Blood makes me-- [gags]
[both breathing heavily]
- Pick up the pace, Zuri!
- Ahh! - Shh.
- Why does blood make me wanna--
[gags] - Here.
Use this ice to stop the swelling.
And shove these napkins up your nose for the blood.
- How do you know all this?
They should make a show about you.
Now I got you spray paint and stopped a crime.
Where's my medal?
- You know...
[chuckles] You're all right, Zuri.
[soft music]
[train rattling]
♪ ♪
- What are you doing?
- Finishing my piece.
[spray paint cans rattle]
- [gasps] Oh, no.
I didn't stop a crime. I helped you do a crime!
And now I'm gonna do time!
- What did you think I was gonna use the spray paint for?
- I don't know! How did I fall for it?
- Zuri, grow up.
- [breathing heavily]
[blows sharply] I've been grown up all day.
A grown-up who didn't take a nap today.
And now I'm going to jail?
Do they even make handcuffs for my tiny wrists?
- Stop being so dramatic.
[both laughing]
- Hi, folks. Take a sample.
- Hmm. Is this eggplant?
- We're trying to reinstall
its rightful place as a healthy snack
and not a sexually explicit emoji.
- Oh, so now you care more
about the dignity of vegetables than our people?
Gentrification is domestic imperialism,
and you're the colonizer.
Chew on that!
- Yeah, think about Jackson!
That restaurant was his life, and 'cause of you,
he's probably living in some tent downtown
eating unloved vegetables out of the trash!
- Jackson? Oh, he's doing swell.
He started a food truck. Look, check it out.
See? Really swell.
♪ ♪
- Wow.
Uh, who's that, Ahmir?
- My dad.
♪ ♪
- I didn't know he died.
- It's just 'cause I don't talk about it.
- Will you at least let me be grown-up enough
to help you finish this mural?
- 'Ay.
I-I'll help you. I got--I got you.
♪ ♪
[doorbell rings]
- Oh, hello, Miss.
- ♪ Wait ♪ - ♪ Oh, yes ♪
♪ Wait a minute, Mr. Postman ♪
- The name's Russell.
I'm your spontaneous, chiseled mail carrier.
I didn't realize
such a divine woman lived on my route.
- Pleasure.
- Some weather we're having.
Good thing I'm a man's man
and can conquer it the way I do.
I got a special delivery for you:
a love letter from a lucky fellow
who's pining over your radiance.
- Oh, Russell.
I'm sorry I made a fuss.
I love you...
and my charm bracelet and...
- Love me? We just met.
Thank God you said that,
'cause I have another package for you.
- ♪ So patiently ♪
♪ For just a card or just a letter ♪
- [giggles]
We should be going inside
so you can give me that...
other package.
- Oh, I see.
[both laugh]
- We heard about what happened, bro.
We just came from King Drive looking for you.
- It's not the same as it was, but I'm doing all right.
They bought my place for way more than I got it for.
So I took that bread and put it on wheels.
Now I can work where I want, when I want.
People move away. I lost regulars.
It is what it is.
But if you ain't buying my food,
you don't get to be mad when I can't afford rent no more.
- That's fair. - Sorry, man.
- Hey, it's all good. Y'all hungry?
- Damn, this is better than I remembered.
You know, maybe we should honor him
and have a little Jackson.
- Okay, but this time, you push it out.
[both laugh]
- Y'all hungry?
- [gasps]
[brakes squeak]
[car doors slam]
[suspenseful music]
♪ ♪
all: "Wheel of Fortune"!
- Aww, that's why we didn't get pictures.
[whispering] They're asleep.
- [snores, yawns]
[soft music]
- [yawns] - What's up, guys?
- Oh. - How was your day?
- Super chill. Zuri's good company.
- Yeah, I learned a lot about Ahmir.
He's a really brave, cool teenager.
- Brave for sitting on the couch all day with you?
- Uh...yeah, that!
- [kisses] - Ow!
- What's wrong with your nose?
And why are you wearing mittens?
[suspenseful music]
- I'm sorry.
We broke the rules. We left.
- You did what?
Look me in my eyes and tell me everything.
- Why do your eyes look funny?
♪ ♪
- You know what? Never mind that.
Get to bed.
We'll discuss this over breakfast.
[soft R&B music]
♪ ♪