- Since the beginning of time,
or at least the '90s,
society decided to stop being polite
and start getting real.
People love to hate on reality TV.
Reality television is the digital artifact
that will be studied next to the pyramids and dinosaurs.
But the reality of reality TV
doesn't stop at the end of an episode.
Dating Annika has shown me that sometimes
the storylines follow you home.
- ♪ I got the blood, no middleman ♪
- I'll be honest: it has required
some adjustment on my part.
But after we worked out the kinks in our relationship,
I am comfortable being an influencer boyfriend.
If that what it takes to be with Annika,
that's a small price to pay.
What's up, dog? Here.
Nothing makes me prouder than kicking back with the Gammas
and watching my baby do her thing
on "Influencer Island."
- All right, let's go, let's get it, let's get it.
- Let's see what we got going on this week.
- You know what time it is.
- Tonight, on "Influencer Island"...
looks like Annika is taking a break
from stirring the pot.
Or does she?
- I've got dibs on little spoon tonight.
- Oh!
- Ooh...
[chuckling, chatter] - Chill, chill, chill, chill.
- As night falls,
things are heating up between Annika and Drea.
[scattered chuckles]
- Hoo...
- I don't think you have trouble, bro.
You have competition.
- Looks like Annika has a new cuddle buddy.
- Does my girlfriend have a girlfriend?
- ♪ Watch out world ♪
♪ I'm grown now ♪
♪ I'm grown ♪
♪ Learn something new every day ♪
♪ I don't know, so I'ma feel my way ♪
♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪
♪ But no regrets, this is what I say ♪
♪ Watch out, world ♪
♪ I'm grown now ♪
♪ You can tell me ♪
♪ My heart beating so loud ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪
♪ I'm grown ♪
- ♪ Bad lil' bitch, she don't care about the drama ♪
♪ Shorty double kicked up and she get it from her mama ♪
♪ Tell her boys ease up but shorty drop it to the floor ♪
[knock on door] - Hide the vodka.
- Okay, calm down, guys. Just me.
You can keep drinking.
- Whew. - Great show tonight, babe.
Can I pull you aside for a second?
- Yeah, what's up?
How'd you like tonight's episode?
- Um, about that... that Drea girl.
She seems real cool.
- Yeah, we got so cool on the show.
- Mm. - And you'll get to meet her
along with the rest of my cast members, because...
Drumroll, please. - No.
- You're all invited
to the "Influencer Island" reunion tomorrow
as my VIP guests.
- [squeals]
- Also, I snagged some seats for the Gammas
so they can just stroll on in... get it?
- Oh, thank you, babe. - Okay, I understand
why the producers wanna swindle young, impressionable minds
to the inaugural Gen Z NXIVM cult meeting,
but why do you want us to be there?
- I don't know. I think it sounds exciting.
- I thought you said you didn't wanna be
seen around me in public
because I was wearing a sensible flat after 6:00 p. m.
- Excuse Kiela. We will be there
in your preferred footwear.
As a matter of fact, I will not leave your side
even when you're talking to cast members like Drea.
I will be front and center, cheering you on
as your man, your partner.
Ten toes down for my woman!
- Thanks.
I'm gonna need all the support I can get.
This villain edit is getting out of control.
- I thought you liked that.
- I thought I did, too, but turns out,
Black people not only get hosed in a real court,
but also in the court of public opinion.
- Damn. - Well, I guess
we're just gonna have to let those bitches know
that you're the sweetest bitch in the world.
- Oh!
- Okay. Let's find you an outfit.
- Okay.
- [clears throat]
- Your pupils aren't dilated,
but your hands and face are clammy.
Also, your breath smells like a wet dish rag.
What is going on?
- Uh... I think that Annika
might be cheating with that chick from the show.
- Can't you just ask her what's going on?
- No! No, a-are you kidding me?
We already got off to a rocky start this year,
and we haven't even hard-launched
our relationship yet.
I can't be out here acting soft.
I wanna be on a "Below Deck" yacht,
not the "Titanic."
- Yeah. You cannot just ask her what's going on.
- Exactly. That's why I have to be out here,
acting like a secure Black man
who has not spent the past half hour
wondering if my queen is out here getting scissored
by some influential influencer with impeccable bone structure.
- Okay, first of all,
scissoring is not the primary lesbian sexual position.
- Really? - And secondly,
I haven't even seen the show.
Fine! Show me the evidence. - Thank you.
So Drea, here,
a hot streetwear model, and Annika
are now bedtime cuddle buddies.
I don't wanna jump to any conclusions,
but that means they're gay, right?
I mean, what if Drea and her have something
that I could never understand?
- The verdict is inconclusive. But, rest assured...
your "Charisma Uniqueness Nerve and Talent"
appointed attorney is on the case.
- You better not be setting up your face ID
on my phone again. - That's just a safety measure.
I'm actually just finessing your dating profile.
- I don't even use that thing, dude.
It's just to have something to talk about with people,
like the weather or blue light glasses.
- Okay. Well, you need to start.
40% of eligible singles are on the apps,
and you need to be a part of the masses
to get back into society.
- I don't wanna get back out there, man.
I wanna stay here, on my couch. - Okay, well, you're too late,
because the new and improved Aaron Jackson dating profile
is ready. I accept mobile cash apps
and the names and numbers of all the lovely ladies
that you are not compatible with.
Because my boy is about to be out here
like the Humane Society with his pick of the litter.
Thank you. Here. Enjoy. - All right, let me see that.
What am I looking at?
I've seen German wax figures of Black celebrities
that look way more natural than anything I'm seeing right now.
- Bro, what you had before was dull and bland.
Had to put a little Lawry's on it.
- Looks like you poured the whole bottle on here, man.
And why do I look like Jim Crow's protege
in this photo?
- No, this is good.
This makes you look like an academic, okay?
You Bell Hooks 'em, you keep 'em.
- Okay, one day. You get one day outta me.
- Sit back, swipe,
and by sundown, you're gonna have women on your page
like Walmart on Black Friday.
- ♪ Whoo ♪
[funky music]
- ♪ I'll tell you what I want, what I really want, yeah ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I'll tell you what I want, what I really want ♪
♪ What I want what I want is ♪
- Rahul, give me fierce!
- ♪ A little bit more ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Just a little bit more ♪
- One more, one more.
Before we go in, everybody together.
That's great. Thank you.
- ♪ A little bit more ♪
♪ Oh oh oh ♪
♪ A little, a little bit more ♪
♪ Oh oh oh ♪
♪ A little bit, little bit more ♪
♪ Oh oh oh ♪
♪ Just a little bit... ♪ - All right, pretty people,
eyes on me, listen up, folks.
We're five minutes out from rolling,
so I'm gonna need talent on deck
and civilians to report to the audience.
Get a move on, gen pop.
- Wow. I've always wondered what it's like
to be treated as a second-class citizen.
- You coming? - Yeah, I'll be there
in a second. - Aw. He wants to
wish his girl luck.
Black love.
- Pop off, Annika!
♪ ♪
[both giggling] - Yes, Drea! Yes!
- Oh, my gosh. Drea, you play too much.
- Well, when I like the game...
- Sweetie!
Honey bunches of gluten-free oats.
Drea.
- So I'ma dip.
- Break a leg out there. - Thanks, baby.
Wait. You know that I'm happy and secure
in our relationship, right?
And I don't feel threatened at all.
And that I am an avid Marsha P. Davis enthusiast.
I just need to know, is there anything going on
between you and Drea?
- Okay, you think I'm cheating on you?
You're trying to get really deep right now,
and I'm literally in the middle of a work day.
- Annika, I... - You have nothing
to worry about, okay?
I have to go; I don't wanna hold up production.
- Okay... - Uh, babe, my lips.
- Four minutes!
♪ ♪
[beeping] - Match. Match.
I got a match. What do I do?
- Show me the stats. Let's go.
- Okay. All right, uh...
Mallory is her name. - Mmm.
Stunning. - She's a nurse.
- Come on, Black excellence. - Indigenous.
- Come on, Native American excellence.
- 25. That's not bad. - Oh, hey, yes, yes.
This is the momentum that we need.
Now, set up the date for the bar tonight.
- Okay. - This will be the best way
for me to soft-launch the basement.
- Okay. I'm gonna go, but this isn't one of those sex rooms
that I see on my "Real Estate Surprises" subreddit,
'cause if it is, you're legally obligated to tell me.
- Subreddit where?
[background chatter]
- So it's all good.
She told me that there is nothing to worry about.
[shrilly] So nothin' to worry about.
- Well, there is something to worry about,
because if she's not two-timing you,
then she's two-timing America as a world-class queerbaiter.
- If it's between America and me, I choose me.
- Welcome back to the "Influencer Island" reunion.
Our influencers may be on an island,
but it looks like two of our stars
still have some narrow stretches of land to explore.
Grab your sunscreen,
because things are about to heat up
between Drea and Annika.
Take a look.
- This had Remi's name on it in the fridge.
But until she cracks 2 million on TikTok,
I don't think she deserves this pudding.
But something tells me you do!
[crowd murmurs, laughs]
- Could Annika and Drea
be sharing a little more than pudding?
- Ooh! - Ooh!
[audience murmuring]
- Your girlfriend has a girlfriend.
- You know it.
- Drea is moving in, and you're sulking here
without even putting up a fight?
- So I wasn't overreacting!
It's not like I really care if Annika's into women.
I just want her to be honest with me.
Like, is she just playing it up for the cameras,
or is this how she feels about Drea?
- Do we even know if Drea is gay?
[both giggling]
- Should I go ask her?
- Are you out of your mind?
That's rude.
- Fine! Just hold my drink.
- Thank you.
- Is your staring problem terminal,
or are you just rude?
- I have this dilemma.
I have free tickets to a Sparks game,
but that same night, I have a Meghan Trainor concert.
- Mm. - What would you do
in that situation?
- I'd ask myself if I was a lesbian or a gay man
and make my decision from there.
- So you would go to the Sparks game bec...
- I think organized sports of any kind
are a legal form of slavery,
and I'm not a Meghan Trainor fan
because I don't listen to future Kidz Bops.
I have to go.
♪ ♪
- So?
- Kinsey scale? I don't know.
Bitch scale? She's off the charts.
- Okay. This is quite the Underground Railroad
immersion experience you got goin' on.
- Okay, but Harriet did not have drip like this.
- Dude, come on. Show some respect.
- Okay, my apologies, but, uh,
I'm allowing you to christen this space.
So don't mess up the vibes.
Welcome to The DougOut.
- ♪ Yeah yeah yeah real quick ♪
♪ I been goin' to the top ♪
♪ Yeah, real quick, I'ma switch up on the spot ♪
♪ Yeah, real quick, I'ma cop it while it's hot ♪
♪ Yeah, real quick, bro bro hit it... ♪
- Yo, this basement is top notch.
Congratulations.
- ♪ Bro bro bro, hit it real quick ♪
- Can I get two? Tequila sodas, please.
- Hey. - What's up?
- I don't know what game you're playing with Drea,
but you need to watch yourself.
I know that you think that you have a handle on this,
but you're gonna confuse people.
- I'm fine. - I know you,
so I am not losing sleep,
but the rest of the world may not be as kind.
Even Harry Styles lost fans
because he acts sexually fluid,
but then he only openly dates women.
Harry Styles, okay?
If he is not immune to a flop era,
literally no one is... even you.
- Zaara, I'm fine.
- Okay, well, count your days on lesbian Twitter.
[both chuckling]
- But I do wanna say thank you for, uh,
coming down here on such short notice.
And for not running when I invited you to a basement
for our first date.
- Mm. I'm more concerned with just how many
Toni Morrison books you have.
I knew Solomon had a song,
but, clearly, I missed most of his discography.
- Yeah, about that. That wasn't me, okay?
It's my friend Doug. He packs a lotta creativity
into such a trim frame.
But if my profile was so cringe,
why'd you come?
- I know a good thing when I see it.
Plus, a crazy friend of mine
Googled you before I could swipe left.
- Okay. To crazy friends.
- To crazy friends.
- You know, I may be, um,
saying this too soon,
but I'm thinking we should do this again.
- I... like that you said that.
I've been on these apps for months,
and you're the first person I feel a connection with.
I don't know about you,
but I'm ready to delete them after tonight.
- Delete them? But then how would we communicate?
- Well, people who are dating
typically have each other's numbers.
- What? Dating?
Like dating for real? Like D-A-T-I-N-G dating?
Nice, nice. Um, you know what?
If we're gonna be potentially dating,
I think you should know some stuff about me.
I think it's only fair, you know,
that I put all my cards on the table.
One: I bite my fingernails.
Also bite my toenails.
I cry during sex. Not because I'm afraid.
More so, because I'm emotionally involved.
Sometimes too emotionally involved to where
I push people away, but only because I really want them.
- Just cannot wrap my head around
why Annika would care more about a TV storyline
than our relationship. - You are a better man than me.
There is no way that I'd let my chick have me out here
lookin' like boo boo the fool.
- I mean, do her fans even know that she has a boyfriend?
She hasn't even hard-launched me on IG yet.
Right now, I would settle for a soft launch,
you know, just like a pic of our shadows
with an "Us period" caption.
Or maybe her just, like, coming out
as in a relationship with a man.
- That's literally not a thing.
But it is super jacked up of Annika
to be using queerness as a tool to entice more followers
when the gayest thing about her
is her "Cool for the Summer" playlist.
- Okay. Now you're gatekeeping being gay?
Aren't we all on a sexual spectrum?
Annika could one day be boo'd up with a girl.
- Having the potential to be queer
does not make you part of the community.
Like, I could be a murderer,
but that doesn't mean I'm forcing white women
to thirst after me before I get there.
- Why is all this on Annika, though?
- She's queerbaiting. That's why.
- All I see is someone trying to do whatever she can
to further her career, and if the producers
are making it look like her relationship with Drea
is something it's not,
and she's not coming out to say it's fake,
who's really at fault?
- Damn.
- We're rolling!
[cheers and applause]
- Welcome back to the "Influencer Island" reunion.
We're having a Fab, Fit, Fundamentally good time.
Now, let's take a question from our audience.
What's your name and where are you from?
- Hi, I'm Blair. I'm from Towson, Maryland,
and my question is for Annika and Drea.
- Hi, Blair. - Ladies, are you gay?
Queer, bi, pan,
or just straight and straight-up lying bitches?
Thanks!
- 'Scuse me.
Keep my girl's name out of your mouth!
[laughter] I'm sor... I'm speaking
for my girlfriend, Annika Longstreet,
when I say that she is straight.
An ally to all,
and straight with me.
She's just faking it for the show.
So in conclusion, she's straight, and straight with me.
Thank you. Thank you.
[all murmuring]
- So that didn't go as planned,
but on the bright side,
at least everyone knows the truth.
- I tell you I'm not cheating,
and you're still in your feelings?
- I was just trying to protect you.
- I don't need you to protect me.
I need you to trust me.
I'm trying to make this work for me
without compromising myself. - What about compromising me
and us, Annika? - This isn't about you.
Don't you see how much pressure I'm under here?
It's so hard
being a Black woman on a show like this.
Either I'm too ghetto or I'm too white-acting,
or I'm used as a meme in a modern-day minstrel show.
Between producers
and agents and fans and interviews and now you...
I'm realizing I can't control much here.
- So it's just... okay for everybody to think
that you're stepping out because it's easier?
- To be honest, I thought no harm, no foul.
I got some extra followers and more engagement
through a misunderstanding, but...
I guess Zaara was right.
I didn't think it would hurt anyone.
But it clearly did, and it got out of hand.
Plus, it hurts me to hurt you.
So I'm sorry.
- And I'm sorry for projecting my insecurities onto you
and for embarrassing you at work.
I really hope they don't call HR.
- Reality television doesn't have HR.
- So home girl laid it on too thick?
- Yeah, man, I mean, she was talking about deleting apps.
I wasn't even trying to be on 'em in the first place.
- Well, that might have been my fault.
Uh, yeah, made the basement a bit too sexy.
Sorry. - Yeah, with that being said,
I'm gonna get rid of the facade,
rid of the profile.
But please send me the photoshopped pic
of me skydiving. My mom wants something
more impressive to put on the Christmas card
other than "has job."
- Say less. - Yeah, thanks.
- [snickers]
- I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable
with you making those noises while looking at photos of me.
- Bro, it's a work thing.
- A work thing? - Yeah.
[snickering] - Okay, well, if, you know,
if Ray's making you this giddy,
I might have to rethink our best friendship.
- Okay. - It's not that I'm a jealous
man; I'm just saying it'll be on sight next time I see you.
- Stand down, because this is just our new wine rep.
Her name's Sloane.
- Am I getting, like, some subtle notes
of a crush here, Douglas?
- Hey, man, you can call me Suave Blanc,
'cause I'm about to swirl, sniff, sip,
spit out a new relationship, the way things are going.
- That doesn't sound appropriate.
- I know.
- Drea, is it? I didn't catch your name
when we spoke earlier.
- You mean when you spoke at me?
- Tomato, "tomahto."
- It's Drea.
- Drea, are you gay?
- "How are you?" took the day off?
Why do you care so much?
[laughs]
It's 'cause you think I'm hot.
See you around, Zaara.
♪ ♪
- Reality television holds up a mirror
for us to reflect on society and our place in it.
It's less about the drama and more about realizing
we are all crafting story lines
and curating how we want the world to see us.
But I'm ready to leave
a lot of what I thought would be my edit
on the cutting room floor.
- ♪ When you got too much pride ♪
♪ It all falls down... ♪
- Are you hard-launching me?
- Only if you promise to hard-launch me later tonight.
- ♪ Yeah, I like how that sounds, hey ♪
♪ So I'm just finna take my shot ♪
♪ Yeah, I like how that sounds, hey ♪
[mellow R&B]
- Tch. Oh, shit.
♪ ♪
Oh... shit.
[squeals]