The beginning of any new romance
is always the most delicate time.
Uncertainty and a general
- "what the [BLEEP] are we doing here" vibe - [CHIME]
are to be expected.
But when does some slight game playing
teeter over into being full-on toxic?
Oh.
We went on the most amazing date,
and then we had an even more amazing kiss.
And now nothing?
It has been 36 hours and 14 minutes, to be precise.
And she still hasn't texted me back.
Well, maybe she's just... you know,
she choked on a kettle corn kernel,
and now she's in a medically induced coma.
What? What?
That's the only reason I could think of
for her not to text you back.
Or maybe you're just a bad kisser
and she's just not that into you anymore.
I'd rather she be in a coma.
Yeah.
She's not on life support.
She's just a bitch.
Raggedy.
You know what? This is what I get for liking someone again.
Brené Brown can munch it.
Being vulnerable literally blows.
Okay.
This is not your fault. You did everything right.
I mean, texting ten minutes after you leave a date...
it's kind of thirsty.
What?
All right, everyone, for your new assignment,
please form a line and pull a subject out of the bowl.
This week, you'll use the skills you've learned in this class
out in the real world.
You must artfully persuade someone of a random topic.
Convince someone to adopt, not shop.
I get to talk about puppies all week?
#LivingTheDream.
You know, that's, like, super cute for you,
but I hope I get something a little more,
you know, challenging.
My phone-banking team used to say
I was the master debater.
Wait. Were they being gross?
"Flat Earth:
convince someone the Earth isn't round."
What the [BLEEP]?
Can you believe this?
The administration is giving the lacrosse team
an extra two grand. For what?
Nobody marginalized plays lacrosse.
To buy new uniforms.
It's like, the resources here are so limited.
To an insulting degree.
The disrespect, man.
- It's underfunded, it's... - Undervalued... preach.
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Why are we yelling?
- I don't know. - We're saying the same thing.
Yeah. I don't know.
No. That's probably my bad.
I... when I'm passionate about things,
- I tend to get loud, so... - Yeah.
Well, I can also get loud when passionate things are happening.
I just don't understand what happened.
She was so into me.
She even said my face was annoyingly perfect.
A love bomb followed by full ghost
equals classic toxic behavior.
This girl is Chernobyl.
Okay, Drea is being annoying, but she's not a demon.
You're just biased because you thought
that her and I were getting jiggy with it.
Sorry, girl, but I'm with Andre.
- Thank you. - Drea is shady.
She's like a biohazard.
Oh, my God.
Why are you guys so quick to label
every little social misdemeanor as toxic?
I mean, that word used to mean verbal abuse
or keying an ex's car.
You know, one time, my aunt burnt down my uncle's SUV
with a blowtorch when she found out
that he was cheating on her with my other aunt.
That was toxic.
So are puppy mills.
Drea's just being flaky.
I think she'll text you back any minute.
Am I a witch?
Oh, it's just my sister.
She's here.
What?
Did I not tell you guys my sister's coming?
- No. - Hello.
Hi.
Hi. I'm Nova.
How's it going?
- Hi. - Hey.
Hi, I'm Andre,
the artist formerly known as Junior,
AKA Zaara's best friend.
But I'm sure she's told you all about me.
Yeah.
Thank you guys so much for letting me crash here tonight.
So, Nova, what brings you back to the 323?
I have my residency interview at Cedars in a few hours.
- Oh, wow. - I figured
before we go out tonight to celebrate the fact
that I nailed my interview, which I will,
I could cook you all dinner as a thank-you.
Stay as long as you want, girl!
No notes, absolutely no notes.
You're a ten out of ten. I mean, it's a ten out of ten.
Really nailed it.
We did.
We really banged it out.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
So when should we meet up again?
When should we meet up?
Maybe next Tuesday after your seminar?
Great.
Great. All right.
Now, when are you finally going to ask me out on a date?
Ask you out? Huh?
That's what you're... Um...
see, the thing is about asking you out is that it's just not in.
And I like to spend like, a lot of...
Excuse me. Sorry.
I like to spend a lot of my time inside,
safe from the harsh elements.
Like rain. You know what I mean?
Damn it.
Gosh, you just...
Look, I'm sorry. I just don't really know...
No, don't worry about it, really.
I'm not.
I'll see you next Tuesday?
- Next Tuesday? - Yeah.
See you... see you next Tuesday.
Yeah.
Okay. Yeah, she's hot.
Right?
You know what else is hot?
A kitchen fire that burns down your entire home.
More importantly, how are your labs?
You can't let anything or anyone
distract you right now.
Oops. I just texted her again.
- Why? - No.
What in the fresh lesbian hell?
What did you text her?
A TikTok of Paul Mescal, because on our date,
we said that he's the only man we'd be straight for.
You are the stupidest smart person I know.
Wait. Oh, my God. She liked it.
Is she typing? Do you see bubbles?
No, that's it. She just hearted it.
She's a sociopath.
Why are you trying to flirt with Drea
by sending a video of a man?
You're right.
Hey, want to take a cute pic for Mom and Dad?
Wait.
There's a shadow. Pivot.
Yeah.
Like, g... no, not like that.
Yeah, like... yeah, cute.
Oh, my God, boom. Posting.
Girl, huh?
This pic is giving the incest tab on smutpile.net.
Not to kink-shame or anything,
but whatever you do, do not click that category.
Oh, my sick and twisted god.
I know what you're trying to do.
You're trying to bait Drea with a sexy pic
that suggests that your sister
is actually your sapphic sex partner.
What is wrong with you?
Wait. What filter is that?
- I look amazing. - It's never gonna work.
Oh, my God. It worked.
It worked.
She replied to my story. What do I do?
What do I do?
Play the game, you know?
It's her turn to spin out, so don't reply
for, like, 48 hours.
48 hours? Respond never.
I don't know, guys, this all seems very manipulative.
I think you should be direct and ask Drea on a date.
For the first time, literally ever,
I think Lauryn might be right.
I am going to invite Drea to the DougOut tonight.
Sexy basement vibes come through.
Oh, my God, she's typing.
She just said, "Thanks for the invite,
but I already have plans."
Plans? This vague bitch.
I meant, you know, vague female.
Okay.
We still haven't had the hard launch of the DougOut,
so let's keep it fresh.
Okay, if you're wearing natural deodorant,
please leave right now.
The ventilation is bad down here
and the natural odors,
they linger.
Have a good time.
Bye.
- Oh, wow. - This is amazing.
This is so nice.
Jump scare.
What's up?
So maybe our generation's toxic trait
is that we're just too quick to label
certain people as toxic.
Or maybe we're just better at spotting the warning signs
of someone who's gonna wreak complete havoc on our lives.
I thought you couldn't make it.
My plans changed.
That's chill.
That's chill. Things change.
Really glad you could pop by.
So since you're the only person I don't know here,
let me buy you a drink.
Sure.
All right.
- I'm already at a ten. - Okay.
I know you are not the founding member of the Drea Fan Club,
but I am begging you to act
like a normal person tonight, please.
You invited her here,
and the first thing she does is...
is just ask Nova if she wants a drink.
- What? - She's being nice.
No.
That is a manipulative move.
Drea is a walking red flag.
Red is my favorite color.
And the overcrowding is so bad
that the mothers have to sleep in their own urine and feces.
Okay, no one loves to shop more than me,
but live animals are where I draw the line.
Mission accomplished.
I guess I am the master debater now.
Okay. I heard it.
So are you still failing your assignment at every turn?
Yep. The guy in front of me at the coffee cart
ordered a flat white, and then I go,
"Speaking of flat"...
barely finished my sentence before the dude ran off.
Some of us just have a natural ability.
Others don't.
Keep trying.
She will persist.
So do you... do you see Zaara a lot?
Like, how many times a week?
Not so much these days.
There's only so much time when you're in med school.
Med school... impressive.
Didn't realize you two had that in common.
Pretty much the whole family.
Wait.
You and Zaara are...
sisters?
Yeah.
Wow, siblings.
Well, there are some incredible genes in this family.
The Hemsworth brothers better watch their backs.
Like, hey, so have you guys ever just, you know,
looked at the sunset and thought,
"Wow, the horizon just kind of goes on forever?
Um, sure.
- Right? - You good?
Did someone take the '70s vibe in here too seriously
and slip you a Quaalude?
God, I am...
I'm over this, so I'm out.
Okay. Run this back for me.
One minute, you're talking about boring academic stuff,
and then the next, this bona fide baddie is loving you, hitting on you?
Yeah, she did. She did indeed, Douglas.
Okay, so what?
Then you hit it from the front or the back?
- The side? - Negative.
I didn't hit it from any of those aforementioned angles.
Okay, I froze.
Please tell me it's not still the Zoey factor.
No, dude, it's not that.
It's just that Edie is... well, Dr. Thompson...
she's my colleague. Okay?
You know, I don't want to shit where I eat.
Last semester, there was this anatomy professor
who got fired because he got caught
putting his anatomy in his TAs.
But this is a very different situation.
Edie isn't your boss, right?
Well, no, she's not my boss, but I mean, she does...
she's the head of her department.
She has multiple, like, advanced degrees, more than me.
So technically, yes, she is above me.
Okay.
All I'm saying is,
is just because she's above you
doesn't mean that she can't be up underneath you.
You feel me?
Hey, girl.
Hey.
I'm just here, sipping this ginger ale
because I had a bad stomachache.
You're lying.
Oh, fine, yes, I am a heathen who drinks
between one and three nights a week.
And honestly, I'm not sorry about it.
But I am sorry if this is, like, triggering
for you and your crippling alcoholism.
I'm not an alcoholic.
I've never even touched the stuff.
I've just decided it's not for me.
Okay.
Now, how would you decide that?
As my favorite president, Ronald Reagan, once said
while quoting my favorite Russian proverb,
"trust, but verify."
Everyone says this time in our lives
is supposed to be about letting loose and turning up.
But I simply cannot verify that spending
my college years in a hungover haze
is beneficial to my experience.
Speaking of verifying things,
have you ever, like, personally verified
that the Earth is round?
I haven't.
Amazing.
They actually flew you to France.
Well, Paris, Texas.
So it was for this Western brand with a modern twist.
You mean Cowboys BOIS?
Their bus ads are so cool.
It's too bad that shoot happened
before Zaara started modeling.
She would have killed that campaign.
What are you talking about?
I got scouted, but it's not a big deal.
What do you mean? Yes, it is.
What are you talking about?
My bestie is blowing up, okay?
America's Next Top Streetwear Model over here.
Can I get a woop woop?
Hang on.
Zaara, the only thing you should be focusing on
is your pre-med track.
I don't...
I don't know if I want to do it anymore.
It's just crazy stressful.
Okay. I don't do drama.
It makes me have to pee.
It is stressful and relentless.
And that is how it's supposed to be.
That's how they weed out the idiots.
Well, this idiot just made three grand
in three hours last week.
I have 2 1/2 more years at Cal U,
then four years of med school,
then three to seven of a residency,
and then I'm finally a doctor,
and I get to dig myself out of the mound of med school debt
- that I owe? - Yeah.
But then you're a real doctor who saves people's lives.
Girl, you're studying to be a podiatrist.
I'm actually helping people. You're just being selfish.
Damn. Well, sorry if trying to figure out
what makes me happy is selfish.
Happy? Happiness is a luxury.
You're being a spoiled brat.
Mom and Dad are not paying your tuition
so you can have fun and make friends and find yourself.
Well, maybe you should worry a little more
about being happy, because you seem pretty miserable.
- I'm sorry? - Let me guess.
You've never had a serious relationship
or any relationship?
- What's your point? - Uh-huh.
Your med school pals are going to ghost you,
like, the second you graduate, because...
spoiler alert... it was just a friendship of convenience.
None of them actually care about you.
So stop worrying about Zaara's life
and start worrying about your own.
So are you okay?
Because what happened was not.
What, Drea defending me
and my friends just standing there
like they got their vocal cords cut?
Excuse me?
She's been on one date with you, and she thinks
it's okay to come at your sister like that?
Honestly, I wasn't mad at it.
I think I need Drea to shake up my life right now.
Maybe without her, I'd get two years into medical school
and Sylvia Plath myself.
I don't get the reference.
You really need to pay attention in lit class.
I really do.
And I know that med school has been giving you hypertension,
but I just thought it was a part of the journey.
I don't know. I just...
I've never had someone stand up for me the way Drea did,
and it felt kind of nice.
Yeah, I can see that.
But she's also bringing out a side of you that is insane.
I mean, you posted a picture that made it look
like your sister was your lover,
your boo thing, your flavor of the week.
Okay.
Yes, I understand it was giving desperate vibes.
But Drea also has some amazing qualities.
But are those things worth it?
After the game she played, you looked like Obama
before and after the presidency.
Okay.
I mean, I did feel like I was on a plane
and the oxygen masks dropped.
I guess that's not how someone that you want to be with
should treat you.
Mm-mm.
How do I end this?
Do I just hit her with a "Hey, can we talk" text?
Yeah.
Man, I do not miss those.
I'm really...
Don't finish the sentence.
Okay. Good talk.
Hey, honey.
Sorry I'm late.
Oh... that's okay, dear.
What took you so long?
You know, just had a little trouble
getting the triplets down, putting them to sleep, so...
- Sorry, man. - We got triplets.
Yeah.
- Okay. - Triplets, huh?
- Yeah. - So twins just didn't feel like they'd do the trick?
- Go with threes. - Mm.
You know I can handle myself, right?
Yeah. But that wasn't for you.
That was for me, 'cause I want to be
the only guy you were talking to.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Then what was that about earlier?
I had a bad stutter as a kid, and watching you today
kind of felt like a re-enactment
of certain parts of my childhood.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
Can I please plead temporary insanity, Your Honor,
just 'cause I would really love to take you out sometime?
You know, we're already out now.
Look at that.
You're right. It's a fact.
Yes.
So if this was a date...
Yeah, hypothetically.
What would you do?
Hmm.
Something like that maybe.
My place is a couple of blocks away.
You want to get out of here?
Yeah, I'd love that very much.
I think that's a great idea.
- Just to be clear... - Yeah?
This is super fun.
Fun is kind of all I can do right now.
I'm not looking for anything more than that.
Okay.
Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.
All right, yeah, no, that's crazy,
'cause I was thinking that same thing.
You know?
So here's the thing about toxic relationships.
You have extreme highs...
Hi.
Extreme lows...
Hey, so I've been thinking. Um...
Thinking, huh?
About me?
And they're extremely hard to get out of.
Hey, beautiful mind. What's going on here?
I contacted my second cousin's brother-in-law who works at NASA.
- [BLEEP] - My God.
And he forwarded me a lot
of extremely convincing materials
on the curvature of the Earth's surface.
Okay. Well, you know, I'm still gonna tell
my professor I passed the assignment. So deuces.
Girl, I don't care if it's flat or round.
This better be cleaned up when I get back.
- Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -