Hey, guys. Hey.
How was the farmer's market?
It was fun.
It's a shame Mom's out of town.
It's vegan heaven. Hmm.
But it's almost like she was there.
She kept texting me every few minutes asking for pictures.
Yeah. Yeah, she's just excited
to have you back at the house again.
She always pretended like she was okay
with you living with your grandpa,
but believe me, it was killing her.
Wow, what the hell is with all these Post-It Notes?
Well, before Darlene left for the weekend,
she gave us a ton of very detailed instructions
for chores she wants done.
Orange is you, yellow is me.
Okay.
Uh, she wants me to contact paper
all of the shelves and all of the drawers.
That's gonna take forever.
It's continued on this note.
"When you put the spices back in the pantry,
please organize them from robust to bland."
They're spices.
Marco Polo did not sail halfway around the world
to find "bland."
We get it. You're in college.
She wants some basic stuff, too.
She wants you to mop the floors and do a load of whites.
We don't have anything white.
We eat like drunken pirates.
This one's for me.
"You've been through a lot.
Order Postmates and finish 'Under the Banner of Heaven, '
but don't start 'Dahmer' without me"?
This woman is relentless.
I better get to work.
Oh, did you see this one?
She wants me to make sure the forks and knives
are pointy-side down when loaded in the dishwasher.
She's always been controlling, but this is a whole new level.
Oh!
Listen to this.
"Everything in here is clean. Please empty."
How stupid does she think we are?
Damn, I just put dirty dishes in there.
Ah. Now I gotta figure out which ones are clean
and which ones are dirty.
You know what?
Darlene isn't here.
Go wild. Run it again.
Are you sure?
That would be cleaning already clean dishes.
That would drive Teeny Mussolini nuts.
Oh, I'm going for it.
Do it, bad boy.
Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!
Oh, Louise, honey, would you bring me a napkin?
Thanks, baby.
Ooh. You smell like stew.
Makes you wanna run a piece of bread all over me, huh?
Don't ever do that to me again.
Can't you wear a bell or something?
Oh. Well, box my peanuts, wouldya look at that.
What?
A big hardware distributor in Oklahoma
is having a liquidation sale.
Everything's like 70% off.
Ooh.
But you gotta go to Tulsa to pick it up.
70%? Wow.
I got fish once for half off.
But you can deep fry that stuff all day...
It still don't smell right.
Yeah, this is top notch merchandise.
We could really increase our profits.
But I'd need three trucks the size of mine
to make it worth the trip.
Oh, Danny boy.
Oh, this might be your lucky day,
'cause I've got an old trucking buddy,
and I bet you he would let me borrow his big rig.
I wasn't serious. I was just thinking out loud.
No, no. Really.
'Cause with Louise back to watch The Lunch Box,
you and I could hit the road.
A couple of days, just the two of us,
making a crazy run to Tulsa for the big tool grab.
You know what "tool" is backwards, don't you?
You know what "tool" is backwards? No.
You know what it is?
"Loot." "Loot."
Loot, loot, loot, loot, loot, loot.
Thanks, but no thanks.
Come on.
No, it could be really fun, 'cause you and I,
we hardly ever get the chance to hang out by ourselves.
There's a reason for that.
It's nature's way of keeping us alive.
No. Come on.
Neville's on a 24-hour emergency call
and you need somebody who knows how to drive a semi.
Don't be a stubborn old goat.
Okay, I'll do it. Yeah.
I'll do it for my kids. Great.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If this business survives,
I want to leave my part of it to them.
Yeah, and it's for me, too.
You know, I'm looking forward
to getting behind the wheel again.
That last accident, that was so horrendous,
really shook my confidence,
so I gotta get back on the horse.
Captions by VITAC...
Hey.
I brought you something
from the can company orientation.
They are a pair of sweatpants that say
"Best Can in the Business" on the back.
Huh?
Obviously they didn't run that by HR.
What's going on here?
Aunt Becky left some notes for you.
Alright.
"Thank you for your detailed notes.
Here are some additional detailed notes."
"If you find yourself sitting down,
this device will be helpful."
Very cute, Beck.
This is your passive aggressive shot at all my notes, right?
The goal was aggressive-aggressive, but okay.
Listen, the reason I left all the notes
is because there were things that needed to get done
while I was gone.
Look, I don't mind being the one
that has to stay on top of stuff,
but sometimes, I need a little help.
A little help?
You gave me every big chore in the house,
and you know how busy I am.
Well, you weren't too busy
to go to the farmer's market with Harris.
With everything that Harris has been through,
I thought you'd be happy
that I've been getting her out of the house.
I am, but you're not the only person
that can take her to the movies
or go get coffee or whatever else you guys do.
I mean, maybe you could stay home a little more,
'cause there's stuff that has to happen here, too.
Of course there is.
I really should have expected this.
Expected what?
Oh, come on!
This is about it being your house
and you "letting" me stay here
and me having to pay the price for it.
This goes back to being the older sister
who always hassled you,
and now you're hassling her back.
No, I don't need to hassle you back.
It was game over when I got Ben.
This is about us.
It's not about how life bitch-slapped Ben.
I'm only asking you to help
because I don't want to think that I'm the only one who cares.
You're not the only one who cares!
You're the only one who's a sad, little, pathetic hobbit
who has to control people.
You've opened the Ark of the Covenant.
Prepare for your face to melt.
I'll do the housework, but I don't want to hear
one word from you about how I should do it.
Fine. It's all yours.
Screw you!
Wash a dish! I will!
I can keep this house as clean and organized as you can
without behaving like a 16th-century syphilitic king!
I don't think you made that up in the moment!
♪ I'm going, I'm going where the water tastes like wine ♪
♪ I'm going where the water tastes like wine ♪
♪ We can jump in the water ♪
♪ Stay drunk all the time ♪
♪ Whoo! ♪
Like the old days, Dan.
5-hour Energy shot and homemade jerky.
I'd be a vibrating salt lick
looking for the one rest stop with toilet paper.
Good times.
Hey, I gotta admit, this is kinda fun.
Nothing like
the "trapped on an airplane with a crying baby" experience
I was expecting.
Okay, Dan, it's your turn.
It's the black Kia coming up.
Siblings or dating?
Oh, she's crying... He's pounding the dashboard.
Neither one. They're married.
Oh. Okay, your turn.
Silver Honda coming up next.
Uh, teacher or meth dealer?
Uh, he's got all his belongings in his car with him,
so he clearly can't afford a place to live,
so I'm gonna go with teacher.
"Math makes me horny."
"My other car is a bike."
You nailed it... teacher.
By the way, you owe me 11 bucks.
What for?
That breakfast stop back in St. Louis.
That was your share of the bill.
Come on, I just assumed that you'd pick that up.
I mean, I got us a truck and I'm driving.
Yeah.
I think we should pay for our own meal.
You were the one who wanted to go to the fancy sit-down buffet.
Yeah, well, I'm really sorry
that I made you rub elbows
with the Vanderbilts and the Rockefellers
at the omelet station
where there was a Band-Aid in the diced onions.
No, I'm just saying, I think you could afford it.
I saw the debit card Neville gave you
when you paid for the fuel.
Um, excuse me? How do you know Neville gave it to me?
It was customized.
Wells Fargo doesn't issue standard cards
with a picture of a horse squeezing out a foal.
Okay, Neville gave me a card to buy gas.
So what?
Well, you're married to a guy that's making money.
You know I'm strapped.
You could pay for your own meal.
Yeah, I could, or you could realize
everything that I'm doing for you
and just stop being so ridiculous.
All I'm saying is you're throwing money around
with a card that exploits a horse's very private moment.
Oh, Dan, my God. All I did was buy gas.
Look, I think the family has
done enough for you over the years.
Now that you're doing better,
the least you could do
would be to give back a little for once.
For once?!
Okay.
No, yeah. You're right.
I never give anything.
All I do is take.
Well, I'm giving you control of the truck.
You drive.
You gotta be kidding me!
I don't know how to drive this thing!
Yeah, see you at home, Dan.
I'll just be out here waiting for the first guy
looking for some sweet young thing to drive with him.
Well, then, we're both gonna be here for a while!
Wow.
Hey, I was looking for you.
What you doing?
Aunt Becky and I are working on a faster way to make lunches.
She came up with this great idea
to put everything you need to make a sandwich
in one drawer.
Meat, cheese, fruit, drinks.
Makes it so much easier.
She found a harder way to make a Lunchable.
Hey, why don't you put that food away
and you and I can grab lunch at that taco place you like?
I can get their vegan tacos.
I can't right now.
I'm gonna help Aunt Becky clean.
We're gonna put Swiffer pads on our feet,
listen to Bruno Mars, and cha-cha slide the place clean.
Alright. Um, well, how about tonight?
Oh, I'd love to, but Aunt Becky and I
are taking Beverly Rose to Chuck E. Cheese,
and if I remember correctly,
you're not allowed there.
Well, Mr. Cheese and I got into a small argument.
It got slightly physical, but I mean, my God,
that was like two months ago.
I just tried this in the bathroom
and it works great.
And now you're bringing those toilet pads into the kitchen?
That's disgusting.
I'm putting disinfectant on the floor.
Your personality will kill the germs that are left.
The housekeeping needs to get done anyway.
We might as well have fun doing it.
But it's not fun. It's stupid.
You're just giving the dirt a tour of the house,
and now you're dragging my daughter into helping you do it.
Mom, relax.
She's not dragging me into anything.
I offered to help.
Oh, well, then you're helping her mock me.
You know, she's always trying to make me look like
I'm the crazy, controlling one
and she's the fun one to hang out with.
Like I'm insane. Like I'm intense!
You know what? I'll tell you something.
I am the chill one!
My God, what did they do to you
at that can company orientation?
Nothing. It was great.
I got a ribbon for asking the best questions.
I'm getting a lot of Chuck E. Cheese energy in here.
Apropos of nothing, uh...
what's going on?
You're not gonna get it.
You're never gonna understand what it does to a mother
to see their daughter and their sister
skating around on mop feet.
Hey, why don't you tell me all about
your pretty little ribbon while we walk you to bed?
Look, I take it all back.
If we don't get to the distributor soon,
all that's gonna be left are garden gnomes
and welcome mats that say, "Shoes off, pants optional."
Yeah. Well, you should've thought of that
before you were so nasty to me.
What'd you do that for?
I don't know.
You were waving that shiny new debit card around,
and I'm driving all the way to Tulsa
trying to keep my business afloat.
You're not really worried about the store, are you?
It's been a tough year.
Between the pandemic and inflation
and supply chain issues,
it hasn't been great.
Look, I'll be honest, I really wish
I had another 1,000 bucks to spend at that sale.
It's not what you think, Dan. I'd help if I could.
You can't or you won't?
I don't know what you think I have, Dan.
Neville gave me that debit card just only for gas.
Yeah, it's for gas, but it's not like
you don't share a bank account.
I'm not gonna discuss my finances with you.
Okay. Well, yeah.
You and Neville have money and we don't
and you're feeling guilty.
No, I don't feel guilty about anything
because I don't have access to Neville's money.
Oh, come on. You're married.
We don't commingle our money, okay?
Really? That's weird.
Well, you think I don't know that?
You don't think that I think about that every day?
He probably thinks that the marriage isn't gonna last
and he's got one foot out the door.
I swear to God,
if this is a trick to get breakfast out of me...
I was raised very poorly.
And then I'm scared to press the issue because,
you know, I'm not sure that I really want to hear the answer.
I'm sorry. I just need a couple more minutes.
But... I mean, can I ask you a question?
You and Louise... you guys put your money together?
Oh, yeah.
First thing I did was slap my name on her checking account.
Lowered her credit score 100 points.
Now neither of us can get a loan for an above-ground pool.
Yeah, but I pay my bills.
I-I wouldn't hurt Neville's credit at all.
It's not like he doesn't love you.
He's crazy about you.
Maybe he's just got weird stuff about money.
Yeah, I don't know.
He married late, his parents had a horrible marriage,
so maybe he's just hedging his bets
because all he sees is doom and divorce around every corner.
But I don't... it just really... It keeps me up at night.
You know you're gonna have to just ask him.
You can't live in fear about what this means.
If you don't talk about this stuff,
you can't be really close to someone.
I know. You're right. I'll get around to it.
No, you won't.
You're gonna do it right now... Ok...
because I'm here, and you'll feel better once you did it.
Or incredibly worse. We'll find out.
Oh, my God.
Hey, baby.
Huh? Oh, we're getting along just great.
Anyway, I'm, uh,
running a little low on the debit card
and I was just wondering...
wouldn't it be easier if we just
had one account for the both of us?
Really?
Why not?
Oh, you don't trust my family.
Well, I don't think that...
they'd try
and squeeze every dime out of me,
and "grifters"... That's a pretty harsh term.
So, hon, we'll...
Let's, uh, talk about that later...
When I get back, okay?
Yeah. No, no. We're good.
I know, baby.
I know you would give me anything that I wanted.
Could you, uh, transfer $1,000 into my account?
Okay.
Oh, thank you, honey. Thank you so...
No, I will never tell Dan, uh, about the grifter thing ever.
Okay. Thanks. Bye-bye.
Oh, my God.
I'm so glad that you made me do that.
I feel so much better now.
He just didn't want to commingle our money
because he's afraid you guys will suck me dry.
We'll talk about that later.
Yeah.
But you know you're gonna get the thousand bucks back
as soon as we sell the merch.
No, I know that. So, we gotta hit the road.
The place is open for five more hours.
We got a two-hour drive.
So I just gotta put the pedal to the metal.
Alright. Oh, my God.
That's exactly what I said before the... the accident.
The, uh, state trooper told me that he'd never seen a semi...
that cleanly split in half before.
How long have you been doing that?
'Cause I ate a muffin off that table yesterday,
and I've been feeling weird ever since.
Oh, please.
If anything, it'll help you build up your immune system.
Alright, that's it. You and Darlene have to talk.
Why? She's acting crazy.
Well, first of all, because you are a terrible housekeeper.
You were just mopping the table.
And second, there are things not being said
between you and your sister, and it needs to come out.
Fine.
I will listen to anything she has to say.
Mm. Darlene, can you come into the kitchen, please?
Yeah?
Becky has something to say.
No, I don't.
Darlene has something to say.
I'm good.
Okay.
Somebody's gotta say something,
'cause I got a low-grade fever,
and I'm pretty sure it's the norovirus.
What the hell is wrong with you?
What'd I do to piss you off?
Like, from birth or recently?
Okay, if you don't want to talk, I will get back to work.
Alright, wait.
I-I don't like the way
you're monopolizing all of Harris's time.
What?
We went to the farmer's market and a couple of movies.
You say that like it's so simple.
It is. We went out and had some fun.
I don't know what you're getting at.
Well, I hate that it's so easy for you like that,
because it's always been so hard for me.
You know, Harris and I have always had
this complicated relationship,
and her moving in with us
was supposed to be like a restart,
but she's so much more comfortable with you
that I'm having a hard time even squeezing in a day with her.
Wow.
I'm sorry.
I had an inkling that something was going on
when you had that psychotic break.
And I'm sorry that I dumped all this work on you.
I guess I was trying to keep you busy
so I could get Harris's attention,
and then maybe I was trying to punish you
because I felt a little jealous.
Well, you handled it like a maniac, but I get it.
I get mad if someone even reads Beverly Rose a story
I haven't read to her yet.
And then I gotta hear
about how Ben makes Peanut Butter the Dog
so funny and British.
That's why I always made my kids read the books to me,
and then I'd tell them, "This better be funny."
Are we all friends again?
Because Peanut Butter the Dog
needs someone to drive him to urgent care.
Come on, Dan. Come on. We gotta get... Come on.
Dan, come here. Dan.
Why don't you come over here and talk to me by the pie?
Dan?
There he goes. There he goes.
Now he's walking. Okay.
Now we can go right out to the truck.
You know, you're gonna be fine.
It was a freak accident...
Could never happen again.
Although, it was really beautiful
seeing all those magnificent horses running free,
silhouetted against
the fireball that was once a truck.